shdwlkr

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Everything posted by shdwlkr

  1. Texasmom7 First you are not a miserable failure get that idea out of your head permanently. If you were a failure you would not have 7 great kids who adore you. Second Porn is very hard to control on the computer there is something like 600 plus new pron sites going up each and every month. Third and many here are going to mostly zing me for this but looking at nude bodies isn't bad it is whose nude body your looking at that is bad. Have you ever seen your spouse nude for those who are married? if so you have seen porn or a nude body Fourth I knew someone with this problem and it had to do with his relationship with any women not just his wife, he would do the looking but acting out wasn't his thing. Fifth if he has "others" in his life what is going on there? Yes I am working on being a counselor so the question just comes up. Sixth you need to pray as to what is the right thing for you and your children to do as you have a 16 year old son who could stumble onto dad's shall we say in depth study of women and then you have another addict to keep track of. Seventh divorce in some cases is not the end it is the beginning of a new life and freedom to not have to baby sit your significant other all the time. Eighth none of here can make the decision for you but we can offer ideas that you can use, not use or ponder Ninth best of luck which ever way you feel is the right choice for you and your kids
  2. the only issue I see is that what ever is used because it is primary kids should be food safe in case some smart little one wants to taste it. Guess where I learned that little idea from. Think my little kids. Go to the grocery store or better yet a baking supply store and tell them what you want to do and I bet they can give you more ideas than you can possible use.
  3. skippy740 read my responses and sort of read between the lines also in some places life is not to be easy but sometimes it gets real hard and I am there right now and will be for a long time They are YOUR kids. You legally adopted them. They can be sealed to you. Of course, you will need to be sealed to a woman who is worthy for that blessing. [i have to have her permission to do that and I don't think she would ever allow it as I would never allow her to be sealed to them with another guy] IMO, the needs and welfare of your kids come FIRST before hooking up with anyone new. Your kids need YOU and they need to know that YOU are always looking out for them and their needs. If Mommy gets a new man, and Daddy gets a new woman, then the kids from the first marriage can feel "squeezed out" of the family unit. They could feel like nomads between two different family units. Especially adopted children. [ I am in no rush to get married again as I know how much my 5 year old son and 4 year old delayed daughter want daddy time. If you could see how much they need to be loved, feel safe and here them when it is time to go back to mom it would break your heart every time , you have no idea how many times I leave them with mom and find a place to cry before going back to my empty house. I would like a lady friend to hang with when the kids are not here but beyond that just can't see anything. You should read some of the comments when ladies find I am in my 60's and have little kids, think leaper in the dating world] BTW, your wife (since you're not divorced) is seeing someone while still under the marriage covenant (regardless of temple marriage or not). I would bring this up to her bishop. IMO, the church should not be giving financial assistance to anyone not living in accordance with gospel living. Explain how you feel about your kids and that you're concerned about the living environment for them. [the bishop knows but because she doesn't say anything she is a good mommy and should be taken care of and that jerk of a husband deserves nothing] Beware of the fact that child abuse typically happens when there is an unrelated parent in the picture. That abuse can be physical, emotional and sometimes even sexual. [you have no idea of what maybe just around the corner when she finally moves in with the new man, yes I do and hope I am so wrong] You need to do all you can to help protect your kids. You may need to consider moving. I know the economy is really rough right now, but even quitting/transferring your job to be closer should be looked into. Your kids need you - just to know that you're closer will help. [ I have considered moving but for me when I finish college my chance at work is where I am and my lawyer knows this and even said we need to let her move, so I am]
  4. You want a challenge in the dating world try mine. I am in my middle 60'sa and divorced, and have two small children ages 4 and 5 that I get to spend time with sometimes. Want to feel like a leaper that is me. I will not give up my relationship with my kids and yes I have been asked that question by women. I can not move from the state I am in or lose my kids so I am here for the next decade or so and that is also a turn off for women, but it is ok for them to say they can't move. Do I think I will find someone again, who knows I sure don't. I know I hate living alone and doing stuff alone but I am so much happier without the ex and her issues. She did some really bad things that have me wondering about another relationship and what it could do to me for the better and also for the worse. Keep doing what is right and sooner or later some lady will walk into your life and then the time alone will seem like nothing. As for me I keep thinking about someone in my life and then go nope not when they find out I have young kids and so far that has been the case, but the future for me is still an unknown and who knows what will happen in the future as I can't control it anymore than I can control the sun or rain that falls out of the sky.
  5. First get comfortable with yourself as you are now. Forget what your husband is or is not doing. We are talking about fixing you and yourself esteem. Second go and talk with a plastic surgeon that can show you before, immediately after and give you some people to talk to who have gone through this kind of reconstructive surgery. third find a good counselor to sit down with and discuss the upside, downside and most of all the neutral side of the surgery and what you expect it to do for you and not do for you. I am studying to be one and nothing is wrong and asking for advise and some direction on issues that are stressing anyone. Fourth and this is a big one find out for your size of woman what is the normal size for breasts. You don't need to be a huge breasted woman and carry all that weight around just to prove you have breasts. Fifth in case you don't realize it most of what we see as breast tissue is really fat tissue, yes I spent time studying this once when I was studying to be a nurse before my knees gave out. I know this from when my mother when I was in my early 20's I think it was had to have a mastectomy and yes I saw her chest soon after she came out of surgery and also found some things I didn't like and she had the surgeon fix them. Back then they didn't do reconstructive surgery, they didn't see how it affected the women, thank goodness they do now. In the house I grew up in nothing was a forbidden subject and we learned all about the human body, animal bodies and many other things my dad was a teacher and also could have been a counselor or engineer which he did do later. sixth nothing you do to yourself may change your husband's desire for pornography. yes he may lust after you because you suddenly have breasts he can enjoy but is that really what matters to you. Seventh get down on your knees and ask your father in heaven to help you see the true direction you should go and then accept and move on to bigger issues in life. eighth you were able to nurse your kids so you have all the right equipment right now even if you think there is something wrong there really isn't except what can be seen by others and quit frankly who really cares what others think anyway they are not you and you know deep down that you are a daughter of your living father in heaven and you are special to him way beyond anything you may even comprehend right now. Ninth what ever you decide make sure it is what you really want and then go for it. tenth yes I have seen good and bad cosmetic surgery results and sometimes one has to wonder if the before was really the better picture. eleventh if I were your husband your chest or breasts isn't what I saw or didn't see in you when I asked you to marry me. I personally look for a mind, good looks( and yes what I personally think is pretty many don't) and a personality that just won't quit. As we age everything changes. When I was younger I was almost 6'-4" and had a good looking body and weighted 265 so I didn't have to deal with many issues. Well fast forward a few decades I am now 6'-1 1/2 " lost that because I broke my back, have two messed up knees, broken ankle, arthritis in all my joints and weight 248 and look fat to me and there isn't a lot I can do about in the short term. But I am ok with me because I have lived a hard life and have the scares to prove it. What I am saying here is think long term when you think about changing yourself. There is an old saying and it goes like this everything goes south with age. Best of luck and do what you feel is the best for you no one else because no else has to live in your body or deal with your issues.
  6. I am in the ending stages of divorce and have many questions about my kids by this last marriage. We didn't get sealed and adopted a lot of kids. Will I see them in the next life or will they be given to someone else? She started an affair with another guy 2 months after I walked out, the stress in the relationship was just to much. She got her temple recommend and all kinds of help from the church. I got almost nothing, no I am not perfect and have issues that are being worked on and maybe in a few years when I get finances in order I can think about asking for a temple recommend but not now I have to much to accept and get rid of because of what has happened. I drive now 120 miles each way twice a month to get my kids and have some time with them. It breaks my heart to answer some of their questions and do so in positive manner. they are not the problem it is others who pushed things to the breaking point, yes the divorce was her idea not mine I would have stayed with her until the end of time. Yea I know some things are just not meant to be. I don't know if I want to try another relationship again or not, the questions me 5 year old son's ask really hurt. Mom has a new man do you have a new woman? Why did mommy not want you anymore? and I don't know myself, When am I getting married again? mom and her new man are getting married as soon as they can after the final divorce papers are done? We are still legally married and my son told me that he can't go in his mother's bedroom when the new guy is there and this is at night when he gets scared sometimes, what he gets is spanked and taken to his room. Oh well life is not to be all fun but some would be nice. I will keep working to get closer to my heavenly father and hope I get it right fast enough. I know I maybe shouldn't say this here but it is just so upsetting to see someone do what is wrong in the church and get rewarded for doing it. she gets all kinds of help from the church I got a bed, she got her temple recommend just recently and I have to work for mine. she got a lot of her bills paid by the church and I am retired she is working at a good paying job. Sorry for the rank the post just touched a sore spot with me. I will try to do better
  7. I don't think anyone thinks divorce is great no matter the reason as it leaves scares that must be addressed if there is another relationship. Second the OP did mention some in appropriate activities going on in the relationship. Third to assume that he would ever come back to church because she has is just not accepting the reality that he might never come back. Fourth to think he will always support the wish for the kids to be LDS is a little scary when you realize what drove him away. The way the two of you acted in the heat of the moment so to speak. Fifth get on your knees and pray for and answer preferably both of you and when you can say you have got an answer see if it is the same or different. Sixth never assume anything will stay the same we all have free agency and Satan just loves to mess with us so what is agreed to today can be changed in the future because of who knows what even in the best of marriages. Seventh what religion you both are has little to do with how well you will make it as a couple. Having different religious views does put more strain on the marriage but it can work if you want it too. You two are what makes or breaks the marriage not your religion, how strong of an attachment is there, do you see the same road or different roads, do both of you pull together or do you try and go your own way, and most important how do you handle disagreements.
  8. Funny I just had to work on a paper for college and was looking at the possible reasons for sexual dissatisfaction and there are 6 major headings and they cover a very wide field of issues. Yes when I finish college and get licensed this will be something that I would deal with if clients present it to me. I will be a mental health counselor and we deal with mental and physical issues that affect mental health. Yes there is that, "honey I am not in the mood and then there is HONEY I AM NOT INTERESTED" But from what has been written here I think there is something else going on and both partners need to be addressing this issue or learn to accept the way things are.
  9. classlady Yes it could be a woman thing and no most guys don't understand it. So sit down and explain it to your beloved. He will need to have you do this in a positive non judgmental way and then move on with your lives. You have a great marriage maybe not perfect but who in this life is perfect. You have someone who loves you very much or you two would not be together. The two of you have worked as a team for how many years? I still think you need to give him a big hug and kiss and then go have some fun together as he is with you, must love you a lot and the bottom line is that you have stayed together. My ex just dumped me when life's challenges came into the marriage that was her way of dealing with the issues. She found a new guy before our divorce was final and never looked back. Think how that made me feel about our marriage! I would love to have someone who wanted to be with me and to face life's challenges with me, but it may never happen because I am not to the point I don't know if I can ever trust what a woman says to me and about being with me. The two of you are the lucky ones and me and many more like me both men and women have been hurt so deeply that the healing process just might take the rest of our lives of being alone. Do you want to know what being a lone is? It is simple you do everything in and around the house alone, there is no one to talk to, most of your friends are in relationships so you are the odd man/woman out. You see couples all around you having fun and you are so scared to even think of you having someone that it just upsets you. This was me a while back now I am happy with myself and my life being alone, I keep busy and don't even think about finding someone as it is so counter productive and just let the days happen as they happen. I still don't know if I can let someone in my heart again but that is a work in progress and maybe one day if it is supposed to be it will happen if not then I have my work and my hobbies to keep me active and moving and that will be my life. I see so many couples who run to the lawyer to end a marriage just because life got in the way. How sad that couples don't want to fight to be together anymore and that they would rather fight with lawyers and a judge over who gets what and why. Best of luck in moving forward and I really mean give that guy of yours a big hug and kiss and let him know just how pleased, happy and excited you are that he is there with you and still wants to be there with you. You have a true keeper there in that man of yours and he in you. You both are so lucky beyond even what either of you knows, I can attest being alone is not all that many singles will tell you, it is a hard life and lonely many times but we have to accept it as there is no other choice and we do rely on our father in heaven a lot to give us the strength, courage and desire to keep moving forward because we don't know what he has ahead for us and who knows maybe it is what we would love most in this life a loving caring companion.
  10. Can a mixed-faith marriage work the answer is yes but why put that additional burden on a relationship? In marriage there are enough issues faith should not be one of them. I knew a Mormon family once that was also Jewish because of extended family. The honored the Jewish side of the family and the Jewish side honored the Mormon side it because of source of lively conversations around the holidays and the kids got to enjoy both and even attend some of Jewish services. When the kids were of age they went on missions to teach to Jewish leaning individuals and because of the years of growing up with both religions were very effective. The Jewish side of the family made sure they wanted for nothing on their missions and also were very happy when they came home and attended the return missionary fireside and were also recognized for This is a very big exception to the rule because the adults wanted the best for the kids and everything was done with that in mind from the time they were born. They never were hard feelings, they joked about different aspects of the two religions and even found some common ground. If you and this young man really love each other then move ahead knowing that one day it might become and issue that can only be solved by a divorce if you both are going in different directions religiously and it might never be an issue also. Since you admit to doing some things wrong and that pushed him away from the church. It might be good to pray that your actions will not be his reason for not returning and that he will see the light again and return to the church. In this life many issues can drive one from the church and then again there are issues that will push you even deeper in your faith of the church. Satan wants us to fail and will use anything that he can to see we do. You and your young man tasted the fruits of marriage with not commitment and enjoying the fruits of that action. We can not force anyone to accept the gospel or re-accept it when our faith in it has failed it is up to that person to reconnect and it can be a very hard journey to do this and they have to want to be back in the fold. Best of luck and pray often for answer as to whether the two of you are to be one or if it is time to break it off and learn how to be yourself again and wait for your chosen partner to show up and it could very well be this young man one day and it could possibly someone else. Life gives us many choices and it is up to us to pick the least evil one sometimes and it is very hard to do without the influence of the holy ghost, our faith and heavenly father helping us chose. I remember a statement by Abe Lincoln that a house divided can not stand
  11. I have read just a few of the posts but I see somethings that should not be you are comparing your life with your husband to his ex, bad idea You are asking him some questions he may not really have answers too and you become hurt because of it. You feeling hurt because he doesn't remember the first time you had sex, Have you thought that for him he may feel he hurt you some how and it was not good for you? He does need to setup boundaries with the ex who seems to be unable to let go even at this late date. You seem to have had a good marriage and seem to want to be with him. So I would make a date with your husband sit down and tell him how you feel and let him answer as best he can. Then get up and give him the biggest hug and kiss you can and tell him how much you love him and never again compare to his ex as you are the one he is with, you are the one he had all those kids with, you are the one he has been with for how many years? and most of all get down on your knees as a couple and thank your heavenly father for bringing the two of you together. I am in the tail end stages of a divorce and they are not pretty, fun or even something I would recommend most of the time. I am finding that there was much more wrong in my marriage then was right, I was not perfect nor was she and we just ended up going in different directions because of some things. We are working out the final details and have remained civil because there are kids involved and being a hard firm individual hurts everyone. We are even working out her moving into another area and my still being a part of my kids lives. You can make a divorce a living hell or just plain a pain to go through all the steps. Yes one day I would like to be in another relationship with someone just not now or the near future. Yes the soon to be ex already is in another relationship and I see how it is affecting the kids, not good. You have a very good marriage, a loving husband and a devoted husband, what more are you looking for. You seem to be devoted to him also with a few questions that should not even have been asked let alone answered. As a guy the one thing we don't even like being is made to feel we are inferior, have done something to upset our partner, or to feel we are being compared to something in our past with the current relationship. This is even true if we still seem to be hanging onto the past to some extent. We maybe doing this for the other person and for us it is a dead issue but the other person who was part of our life for however long just can't seem to adjust to the new situation. Have some tolerance and love the ex but also draw lines of interaction as time goes on they should become less and less a part of your life. Hope this helps. One last thing is that life is a journey and the challenges we face are there to help us grow in the gospel and as an individual. Remember we are never given a challenge/task that we can not over come, but sometimes it is harder than others.
  12. The first thing that has to be addressed here is does your SIL feel she has any issues relating to the level of sexual contact in her marriage, has she and her husband tried every possible source for a reason for her not being interested? The second thing is that it is something they have to address not any of us here or you as her SIL, the fact you know is also left me with the question of how did you find out? This is a very personal issue that most couples would not talk about with just anyone. If your brother wants kids and this marriage will not provide it then there is a very good likely hood there is a divorce coming. The third issue is could it be because of something your brother has done in the relationship? Not saying he has or has not just putting out questions here. Has your SIL in law done something, has some sexual issue happened in her life that has turned her off from sex? As others have said it can be physical, mental, medical and also just not something she feels she needs in her life. Could it be it is your brother who has these feelings again I don't know him so just a question. I am studying this along with many other mental issues at college right now so that is my questions. I can tell you this sex is not required for a marriage to work but it is emotionally one of the best sources of bonding in a relationship. Why because if done right it is one of the few times the partners in a marriage actually are one which the bible tells us we are to become when we marry. As to the procreation of the next generation that depends on the age at which you marry. Sex for the procreation of the next generation is not the only reason for sex, many see sex as a right, a ritual or what have you in a marriage. What it really is the bonding or cement if you like in the marriage. Does it have to be there no as in some cases because of health issues it can not be there anymore and the marriage goes on just fine because at one time it was there and the bond has been made. The issue you describe isn't limited to just one sex either can be present in either sex because of many issues and if they wish to change then the right source of help needs to be found and by the same token if the individual with the issues does not see it as an issue then no progress is going to be made and the other partner has to accept this as the way it is going to be or seek a divorce.
  13. Well let me tell you a little about my life I went to college right out of high school to be an accountant and discovered I hated it so I transfered to another college to be a Graphic Arts major, that would have put me in a position of managing a large newspaper or magazine company. Funny thing the Vietnam war and the lottery got me a free trip to the Army. When I came out I went to work in state government as a engineering aide and stayed for 35 years. I went from field engineering to design engineering to computer administrator( I have a bachelor's in the area) developer, system maintainer, data base admin, and finally worked on developing a totally new system for the area I worked when I retired. Now what I haven't said to this point is that while I was in college for Graphic Arts I worked on an ambulance crew and totally loved the excitement and was offered a totally free ride to medical school I turned it down because I thought I was to stupid to be a doctor. Years later I was again offered a totally free ride to medical school I again turned it down as I would be working with young children who dieing of cancer and most would be the same age as my two healthy kids. I am in my middle 60's now and working on my masters in mental health counseling and am doing pretty good and will be busy for the rest of my life in this field and guess what it is very close to the medical world I thought I was to stupid to work in. The course that I thought I could never master was chemistry and I have taken several chemistry courses since and they are not that hard if you work at them. What all this means is find something that you really love, enjoy and time just seems to stand still when you are doing this and it will be a good fit for a few years. In my case it was almost 4 decades before it got stale and it was time to move on. In your life time you are going to do many things to earn money start now with things that interest you and follow that dream. My dream of a college degree had a 30 year break in it almost to long to even get it done but I did and I am not working on my masters and my even go for a doctorate just to do it one day maybe.
  14. Jayanna I remember so many of things you mention about being married, but now I am alone and don't know if I can ever get that close to another woman or not. Yes I am in the final stages of a divorce and yes I am older than many who enjoy this part of life. Today would have been our anniversary so it is even more bitter sweet kind of day. Life presented a challenge in our marriage and she decided it was time to get rid of me. Funny thing is I would have stayed and gone through the hardship with her if she had wanted. I see more and more couples who when life throws them a challenge they go to the courts and seek a divorce. One day I would like to be in a solid relationship again but just don't know if I can as the fear of being divorced again just may keep me from trying again. I did have the job that kept me working long hours and away from home a lot. Yes I liked my job I used to build bridges and it was so exciting to go from a hole n the ground to a completed bridge. Yes it was what I needed to be doing at that time. I also spent some time as a soldier and that has left some scares shall we say. I am now working hard to get my Master's degree in Mental Health Counseling so I can work with our military personnel current, past and future and their families so they don't have to struggle like I did to get past some of the issues being in the military presents to these people. Sorry for the long post but being alone is not always a good thing or a bad thing it is just where we are in life and sometimes it brings back some memories that are bitter sweet like today for me and we have to find a reason to move forward and on with our lives. I just try to find something good in each day and today I am still looking for the good in the day and haven't found it yet.
  15. Well I am in Idaho and looked at the baked potato and yes I like the sour cream a little fake butter and salt and pepper on mine and no I don't eat them much. Most of the others I would need to be back on construction or a farm working to keep the weight down. People wonder from other countries sometimes wonder why Americans are fat just look at the food we like and it becomes very clear. One of my favorite meals is Egg Plant Parmesan the only really bad thing in it is the cheese and you can use what ever cheese you like so it is a good meal. Yes I eat meat just a lot less then 20 years ago
  16. I have found over the years diets just don't work. I am a guy in my middle 60's and losing weight is a real challenge. Seems you can eat or not eat and just look at food sometimes and gain 10 pounds. I am losing a little weight mainly because I have days when eating just doesn't turn me on. Yes I know it is bad not to eat but when you have to force yourself to eat that isn't good either. I can remember when I was not eating and all food tasted like card board. It lasted for a while, well months until I got sick and had to go into my doctor and got read the riot act. I had lost 6-15 pounds in months of not really eating. I am now eating more fruit less meat and starches and losing maybe 1-2 pounds a week and sometimes not that but I am happy with my progress. Weight loss is both of mental and physical issue and with the coming increase in food prices it will get much easier to lose money, weight and the desire to eat as many of us will not have the funds to spend on food so we will go on a more or less forced diet of what we can afford that will allow us to feel satisfied after each meal. Do I think that Americans are an overweight people yes and fast food is no friend when over done. I think we can all eat once in a while foods that are really not good for us but taste soooooooo good. I would like to lose 50 pounds this year, but every time I try to consciously lose weight I feel hungry all the time and end up gaining weight. If you look at the medical charts for my height and size I should weigh around 176 pounds and at that weight I feel and look like crap. I would love to get down into the 185-195 pound range but once there know how to stay there. I have been down to that weight a few times in my life but in a few years end up with the weight back on. I know I am not alone with this issue and just hope to find the way to stay there when and if I get there again. You may wonder why I want to get the weight off well arthritis is one reason, to feel better, to be more active, and hopefully to live longer. I have two small children ages 4 and 5 that I would like to see grow up and to enjoy, selfish I know but they are dad's treasure and at my age not much is new and exiting but what they come up with is very interesting and I only get them twice a month. I am in college learning to be a mental health counselor which will keep me very busy when I graduate and get licensed. I have a friend that is looking to get some land near me so I can farm in my spare time so in the future weight might not be a problem unless keeping some becomes an issue. Ha Ha I think many of us can blame our lifestyle for some of the added pounds we carry. No I don't mean mom's, they do so much and are so often just accepted as being there when needed. I know some dad's that are there for their kids too, but many times they have to do what ever the job asks to keep working and taking care of the family. I know when I was working on construction my family didn't see much of me as I was gone most of the time because the job required me to be there and meals were a joke many times. I can remember many days when lunch was 3 pm in the afternoon and it lasted for 10 minutes and supper was 9-10 pm and up again at 4 am to go back to work. thanks for listening to my rant I can go back to my class work now
  17. When you feel betrayed the most is the time you need to be on your knees and talking to your heavenly father. Notice I said talking not praying as you need the love of your father in heaven now that things will work out. When you are stronger you could ask what you missed and put you in the funk. I have been there a few times and have pulled through. In my current divorce I asked many times why it happened and have gotten answers and can move forward now. Some questions still are not answered and I wait for the time when they will be. As others have said pray read the scriptures and study them attend church regularly Satin likes it when you are like this and that is reason enough to spoil his plan. I am in college myself and dealing with the bills of divorce and child support and visitations with my kids. Just a little hint for you I never thought I would be able to have my kids in my life when this divorce stuff started and now I am a part of their lives again. All things work out, just not always the way we want or in the time frame we think they should get done. hang in there things will get better over time.
  18. The sad thing in all this is bishops are people and have the same failings or short comings that all people have. Some bishops are better than others. The length of time as a bishop and also the stake President they serve under make a big difference sometimes. I know in my own divorce that I am enjoying that the bishop and stake president are working to do everything they can for my soon to be "ex" and not much for me and whether you like it or not it is up to them to help one or both parties in a divorce. I maybe should be upset but really don't care much as it is not my right to judge them and it ends right there. I know it will be a longer harder road for me, but maybe it is supposed to be so I read my patriarchal blessings and wonder how on earth they are supposed to happen and leave the rest to my savior as he knows me better than I know myself. We can all get upset with the way things are done by our bishops, but the bottom line is every action he does as bishop will have to be explained one day to one who already knows the answer to the question. Hang in there and just make sure you are not doing something that could be considered inappropriate and let the tongues wag. If it ever went to the point of a church court and all of you come in and deny the accusations and it didn't stop there then you have reason to seek out the General Authority of the Church in your area. Remember this one fact the Church and its teachings are true it is man/woman who pervert the truth. All of us members are just that individuals with the faults an goodness of all people.
  19. Well I have been in the church for a short period (40 years) and I have never seen anyone told to sit down during sacrament meeting, have heard the bishop or stake president correct some hazy doctrine. Fast and Testimony meetings run the whole range of things from just another meeting to very interesting. Never have ever seen someone told they could not bear their testimony. Had some bear their testimony and the whole ward was in tears thought because sometimes things come out that no one knew about. Makes one wonder what the home teachers were doing though.
  20. Decades ago I had the same choice and went military. Should have gone on my mission would have been much better off. The military taught me many bad habits that I am working on correcting today. It is not so much the military but the way you have to change to deal with things that go on there. Did I learn skills yes none of them work in the civilian world though. I feel I have been on a mission ever since I got out of the military to get me back to the simple naive person I was before I went in. If I had to do it all over again I would take a 4 year mission and then look at the military. The military is never going away it will always be there but a chance to go a mission is very limited time span in your life. One final thought the Elder who brought me into the church was killed while serving in the military after his mission. Was it the right thing for him or you to do only you can answer that question. But you have one vet's idea on the subject.
  21. Never said you did never intended that I thought you did More along the lines of what is a good solution to a problem that if someone is intent on killing you they would put the bomb inside themselves and will the scanners pick this up? That is my point everything we do seems to be gotten around by the terrorists who are hell bent on killing us. So how do we use to protect the population? that is my point in this whole matter nothing more nothing less. Sorry if you thought I was attacking you as that was not the intent as that solves nothing. Have a good night and don't worry about it we are looking at the same issue just different directions of the same issue. How do we protect our people.
  22. The whole point is that yes something needs to be done to protect the traveling public but are the current measures the best that the greatest nation on earth can come up with. If you are saying it is then you have missed the point not me. What should be done I am still wondering on that one. If exposing your citizens to large doses of radiation are the correct thing to do then what happens when we get large numbers of cancer cases from those who fly a lot. I don't know if it will happen or not but there are enough questioning the level to make one with a brain to wonder just what is the level being used and what effect does it have on the person with medical issues, is older, maybe pregnant or already has a reduced immune system. Just some of the things I am looking for answers. We are all allowed to our opinions and mine are more conservative then many. I also tend to ask questions about everything that I come in contact with just because I like to know answers to questions.
  23. The gas chambers a solution to getting rid of a problem that some folks created. Do you really think that the new scanners are not a problem? I don't know about you but cancer is not a fun thing to have to deal with. Have you seen the levels of x-ray being used? are they safe? who says they are safe? Just a few things to keep in mind. As to doing it the government way, what do you think the x-ray checking of passengers is? Did any person come up this that isn't in the government? Do we need some sort of safety yes but what is the right way to do this haven't been shown yet as how do you protect against someone who is willing to die just to kill anyone they can. Since you seem to have some answers to the question why not let the rest of us know your wisdom as I am just a simple christian who believes in his bible that things are going to get much worse before they begin to get better.
  24. Just_A_Guy So I am guessing that the gas chambers used in WWII were a good thing as they only were used on less than humans anyway. Sorry the way we are checked for plane rides is just a total waste. Did they catch the Christmas bomber last year? Did they catch the shoe bomber? If TSA and HSO were so good we would not need to be scanned at the airport because these people would never have made it to the plane. Think what you want, but I can tell you this there is more negative things going on in this country right now than you can even imagine. As to which party is in power makes no difference neither care about the common American anymore. They haven't in decades if the truth be told. So you blame the Republicans and I will blame both parties and I wonder which of us is closer to the truth? have a nice day
  25. Here is my idea why not do as the Israel air lines do and only search those who need to be searched. The scanners and increased risk of cancer I don't need. Don't need to be sexually inspected by a TSA agent who is wearing the same pair of gloves that they used on the last 30 passengers either. The risk of being given some disease because of a dirty pair of gloves is just as bad as the risk of cancer from the scanner. The government has once again proved they can force common citizens to give up our freedoms for nothing in return. Sorry but I don't see TSA as being the security of our air travel because we still here of things getting past them. TSA is just another level of too much government. If you want real security then give the job over to the military as other countries have and be done with it. Israel seems to have a system that works and no one seems to be exempt from inspection like we have in this country. Why should airline pilots, and support staff be exempt from the x-ray inspection if it is so safe for the traveling public?