dwgmom

This is an excerpt from an article posted on LDS.org about this. I thought this was interesting: ROBERT MILLET: And I think to some extent Mormonism has been caricatured and I would say, yeah that if that´s Mormonism to you, then by that standard, no, we´re not any better than the rest of the world. But that´s not Mormonism. DANIEL JUDD: Cultural Mormonism will destroy you. That´s probably a pretty strong statement to make, but that´s where all the perfectionism comes, that´s where all the depression, not all, but much of the depression comes as we´re living out these standards that God has not set. ROBERT MILLET: Yeah. DANIEL JUDD: But it´s our neighbor that set them, it´s our culture that set them. That´s where a lot of the problems come, not all of them, some just come no matter how spiritually healthy you are you just, it just comes. ROBERT MILLET: Let me ask you this, Dan, the other thing I hear occasionally is that Latter-day Saints are particularly prone to be involved with a lot prescription drugs particularly antidepressants and anti-anxiety type drugs and that “Utah leads the nation in Zoloft” or, and whatever, Paxil. DANIEL JUDD: That´s right, that´s right. ROBERT MILLET: Is that true? DANIEL JUDD: Yeah, well from this, from the surveys that we have, yeah, the answer to that question is yes. Utah. Not necessarily Mormons but Utah, which of course, you know, much of Utah is LDS of course. But Utah also leads the nation in consumption of other drugs like antibiotics and anyway and the list goes on and on. You know, we are a medication taking people. Well, why would that be? Well, Utah also is among the leaders in the nation in education. ROBERT MILLET: That´s an interesting thing. Say more about that Dan, that is, the Latter-day Saints are among the highest religious groups in terms of doctoral degrees and in terms of college graduates. DANIEL JUDD: That´s correct. ROBERT MILLET: If I understand it. That being true, what would that have to do with my tendency to not feel hesitant about taking medication? DANIEL JUDD: You know instead of, many people self-medicate, I mean, alcohol is consumed, all over the world and here, too, sure, but Latter-day Saints not generally if you´re a faithful, active Latter-day Saint you´re not going to go out and have some, have a beer, have a wine with your meal. You´re not going to do that. You´re going to look for legitimate and authorized methods of dealing with the challenges that you face. ROBERT MILLET: So an educated person is less prone to be fearful of a drug that might assist you, especially if there is some form of chemical imbalance or something. DANIEL JUDD: That´s right. You know, you go to your doctor and you´ll say, “Doctor, I´m having these challenges what, how can you help me?” Do you think that more educated people choose pharmaceutical drugs? Just curious.

I come from an emotionally abusive family and I am now married with 3 children: 9, 7 and 3. Part of my family converted to the church when I was 10. Although my dh came from a stable family of 6 we still both really struggle with parenting. I want nothing more than to be a good Mom, it's something I think about almost constantly and how to do that. Our oldest has some issues: Sensory Processing Disorder and ADHD, that were only just diagnosed last year. He's mild enough to slip through the radar yet challenging enough to know that there was something wrong. It really adds a tremendous amount of stress to deal with his issues which would try a parent who had a strong upbringing let alone me. It's hard when I read the scriptures and pray with my children only to lose my temper later in the day. I am trying *extremely* hard not to repeat my parents' patterns but sometimes I do and sometimes I'm worse. I feel like it's better for me not to read the scriptures with them and pray as they will see the correlation between me and my sometimes harsh behavior and being religious. Any suggestions?

When the Bishop is asking something that is illegal there is a conflict. We are expected to uphold the laws of the land. This Bishop is not upholding the laws of the land. Why is it perfectly normal for saints in other areas of the world to breastfeed their babies (and incidentally we were told as missionaries to encourage women to breastfeed their babies in the Philippines at least up until the age of 4+, we were never told to discourage them to breastfeed their babies) and not in certain countries? This is the Bishop's personal opinion and again it is against the law to express his opinion and frankly not nice to put this sister in this situation.

I haven't read past the first page admittedly but wanted to share my opinion. I was pretty taken back by the first few posters. You should not feel ashamed or be asked to not *feed* your baby in any of the meetings. Bishops are not perfect and this is one instance where the lines have been crossed. Unfortunately I do know of another sister who in Idaho (she is on the www.mothering.com/discussion boards) was asked by not only her Bishop but by the Stake President to not bf at church, there was a member there who had struggled with pornography and he was having trouble when he saw her and had asked the Bishop to talk to her. I think that the church is going to have to officially come out with a statement regarding this b/c unfortunately you're obviously not the first one. In "Utah LDS" culture which tends to be USA LDS culture breastfeeding is one of those things that has been done in the nursing room which I think all men should have to go sit through several meetings in there just to see how cramped those rooms are (which makes no sense to me with Mormons having so many babies! ). In the US in general breastfeeding is still not the norm unfortunately, kuddos to Scotland where it's seen as more normal. I think it's extremely silly when women leave the RS room to go breastfeed their children. Really? We're all women with the same breasts and yet I've been in a ward in North Carolina where I was the only woman who breastfed in RS. You can't hear the RS meeting or Sunday School meeting in the nursing room. Also to that second poster who most obviously doesn't seem to have children himself, did you serve a mission? It would be good for the teenage boys to see breastfeeding for what it is and the norm so that they're eyes don't pop out of their heads when they go serve a mission in a 3rd world country and the woman drops off her whole shirt to feed her toddler. I served a mission in the Philippines and it was extremely common to see women bf'ing any place, any time and no one was asked in church or out to stop feeding their baby, it would be utterly ridiculous. The American Elders had to just get over it. Good luck with the situation. It would be so hard to be in that situation and maintain some charity for the Bishop who yes I believe is 100% wrong and yes it does happen and being a Mormon and supporting someone in their calling does *not* mean to follow blindly esp when you know what they're asking you is wrong. I would try to address the Stake President and if after you speak with him if he shares the same opinion as the Bishop then I would actually go ahead and write a letter to the church. Imo this is something akin to now having windows on the church doors for Primary teachers, it's just something that's brewing and needs to be addressed. It's not legal for him to have asked you that and it's something that church members need to be more accepting of.