MaidservantX

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  1. You have a tough row to hoe here, either way, and I cannot advise you what to do, but I did have a couple of thoughts on details that I hope will be helpful. This jumped out at me big: "My husband and 10 year old son have been at odds for our entire relationship." This doesn't make any sense to me. An adult man and a 10 year old boy are not equals in a relationship so that they can BE at "odds" with each other. There are (about) two choices. 1) Either your son has some life difficulties as a child trying to grow, in which case he ought to be surrounded by the love and parenting/uncle-ing/friend-ing skill of ALL ADULT MALES IN HIS LIFE. So there can be no "at odds" adult male who is actually parenting. 2) or two, your adult male you have married is the one "at odds" in which case what possible interpersonal skills or response could a ten year old boy have other than to have a dysfunction in response to dysfunction? what other model does he have? how can he HANDLE a misbehaving adult male, is he supposed to? Also, the Lord is NEVER going to tell your bishop the decision(s) you should make about your marriage. Never. The Lord will tell YOU (or you and your husband, if you are able to seek revelation together). Don't even put this kind of decision on your bishop. I am less concerned about the physical assaults (I don't believe in punishing children, nor in assaulting them bodily in any way, so take that from my point of view) than I am in the bullying your son has had to experience at the hands of an adult male, something you would never permit him to pass through if he was experiencing this, say, at school. Again, I do not know what your decision should be, as you have 5 children to consider, as you say. But what ever decision you make I hope you STOP EXCUSING yourself and your husband for your misbehaviors and laying the consequences at the feet of your children. I say this strongly, but this is what I had to learn for myself to. Been there, done that. Do you think your youngest child likes experiencing favor from his father and yet watching how he treats the others? I don't think this is necessarily healthy for him/her either. Anyway, I am re-reading this and I think I'm being a little too strong, but at the same time, what I really want is to encourage you to courage and clear thinking, and trust yourself. Even if you decide to remain in the marriage, some things must change. They must. You can do it. The Lord is with YOU.
  2. My thoughts as I read this is what ninja referred to. Her main struggles at the moment probably have nothing to do with her relationship with you. They are her relationship to herself. She needs to be able to love herself. She needs to give herself permission to love herself. She needs to give herself permission to forgive herself. THESE DECISIONS TO FINALLY DO THESE THINGS ARE EXCRUCIATING and are a long time coming. She's not doing any of these things. She is treating herself like she knows you are "supposed" to treat an "adulteress". She is especially doing that for you, since you are not. She is punishing herself. IT'S EASIER THAN BEING HAPPY WITH YOURSELF "THE ADULTERESS". She needs an opportunity either through counseling and/or the atonement to come to terms with her actions and be at peace with herself. Then she'll be able to let your love seep in, and enjoy it, and feel free to return it. And please don't put a timer on it (a year) :). But I am in awe of you, God bless you both.
  3. Welcome, David. You will find other Catholics here. I look forward to your perspective and testimony of your faith.
  4. I agree wholeheartedly, avatar. We already have all the keys for Zion, and for the celestial kingdom for that matter (in my understanding). If we are not enjoying these conditions -- whether individually, in families, communities, or the world -- it is because we refuse to create Zion, or are doing our best, but we are weak still. Nevertheless, I continue to become hopeful and excited about all the work of God that is happening and progressing on this earth. I used to think that God did his work in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, only. But I come across all kinds of people on the Internet who do not have the gospel, and yet, they STILL hold to ideas of wanting a happy family life and peace on earth . . . and they do this without the knowledge that I enjoy in the gospel. I think these are very strong people, and I think God sent his servants to all walks of life. There are more and more people on this earth who are refusing to be enemies with each other. In fact, it is the strangest thing in the world, because the governments of nations seem to feel the need to carry out conflicts (maybe there are good reasons, I'm not saying anything about that, just that the conflict is taking up reality unfortunately), and yet, I can speak to people in these same other nations and we are not enemies, we love each other, and we cannot understand why the larger conflict exists. I don't know how far this thinking is spread among the people's of the earth --- but I think it is more than we know, but it must get stronger too. I am starting to believe that ALL ideas of enmity are propaganda, either explicitly by men, or more subtly by Satan with men actually believing that there is a reason for enmity. I just read a quote from President Benson where he said that pride is enmity to God and our fellowmen. That is pride. And we know that Lucifer's fall is pride. So, a son of the morning (which is supposed to be each of us too), Lucifer's fall was enmity towards his Father in heaven and towards his brothers and sisters. Well, we are here on this planet in the same struggle. And many are blind with enmity/pride. God does not give qualifiers about who our brothers and sisters are.
  5. Okay, I'm still studying D&C 78 in pieces. Here are some verses that I think are lovely, but that I think I must lack some understanding of. Verses 5 & 6 "That you may be equal in the bonds of heavenly things, yea, and earthly things also, for the obtaining of heavenly things. For if ye are not equal in earthly things ye cannot be equal in obtaining heavenly things;" First of all, 'earthly things' and especially 'heavenly things' could bear defining. But I find it interesting that the obtaining of earthly things (in God's way) is not incidental to heavenly things, but that they are inseparably interconnected. I did notice a long time ago that God's covenants always include a covenant of land, especially anything related to Abrahamic covenant (which covers a lot). A 'land of promise', in fact. But I think this will all need some more pondering on my part. I'd love to hear from any of you if you have insights.
  6. I agree with Justice that peace is the one thing that Satan cannot duplicate. Because Satan can duplicate a lot of nice things, like love. I remember feeling such sweet feelings during a time when I was making choices that eventually destroyed me. I took these feelings as the Spirit . . . and I was wrong. I am past needing the Spirit to know if the church is true although from time to time I enjoy an additional witness. But my struggle right now is being led by the Spirit day to day in choices I make, and I have had failures and I am gradually learning my successes. I am not a person who can rely on the Spirit as being an emotional feeling. My emotions are not built correctly inside of me, and so I cannot use them for much truth at all. Instead I have come to realize that the Spirit invests itself into all of my being (if I prepare for it) -- physical, intellectual, emotional and so forth. I want the Spirit of God to enlighten all parts of my being and have a cleansing, redemptive effect on everything about me. My mother in law once gave me a key about recognizing the Spirit. She pointed me to The Book of Moses, chapter 1. This is where Moses has experiences with first, God, and then Satan visits him. Moses is able to recognize Satan and tell him to go away precisely because he has had his experiences with God and knows the difference. So I have learned that I need to avail myself of visits with God -- prayer, scripture, church attendance, temple attendance, visiting teaching, obedience to commandments, loving kindness to my family. If I am immersed in these things, then I know God, and a by-product of that is that I will know Satan when he shows up also, and be able to tell him to get out. A second key I learned for myself. The beginning (?) of listening to the Spirit is to listen to the living prophet. You must know what the prophet is teaching (this includes the apostles and the scriptures, but most definitely the current prophet). Then you must do what the prophet is teaching. Then, when you first start feeling impressions, you need to check them up against what the prophet is saying. If the impression is reconciled with the teachings of the living prophet, you have the Spirit. If it isn't, you don't. This is step one, to me. I hope it helps you. Later on in ones experience, a person can know the Spirit without constant "checking" perhaps. I am right now going through one of the greatest challenges of my life and I feel I am at a new level of needing guidance. The right and the wrong choice(s) are not clear to me. I need to hear my Father in heaven give me his counsel. I need to have the veil parted to some degree. This is a level of spiritual impression that I have not needed, sought for or had the capacity for, but now I have no alternative. And so I am finding ways to immerse myself -- go back to the basics. I am fasting, attending the temple, forsaking all uncleanness, and so forth. In any case, I wish you God's blessing on your journey. Joshua . . . Muslims, Hindus, and all children of God are capable of experiencing the Spirit. I would hope they are full of the Spirit, and they are, if they are living what they believe to be right and according to whatever teaching and guidance their Father in heaven has dispensed to them in their life at this time. Any child of God who seeks God on an individual basis will be met by God on an individual basis.
  7. Thank you for sharing. This world is full of darkness and pain. It is. Thankfully, the light and love and hope and faith and peace and healing of the Savior is also here in the world. We can lay hold upon these things. We can.
  8. Today I started reading D&C 78. I read enough that I realize I want to read it more slowly and think about the pieces. v2 "And listen to the counsel of him who has ordained you from on high, who shall speak in your ears the words of wisdom, that salvation may be unto you in that thing which you have presented before me, saith the Lord God." I don't know about you, but I love verses where the Lord asks us to listen. To me he seems so near, and not far away. I don't know what the 'thing ' is that is being presented, but I do know that the whole section 78 is in regards to the establishment of a storehouse, so maybe that is what the verse is talking about. Listening, hearing the word of God is a huge step in our salvation. It seems obvious, so we sometimes don't realize what a miracle, what a commitment it really is, and what great good can come from such a simple act, a simple willingness. It is our Father in heaven's responsibility to explain his plan to us. In this section, he is ready to explain some things. As individuals, it is our responsibility (if we choose it) to Hear. The word of God has to enter our hearts. We hear with our hearts as well as our ears. Our ears hear sounds, but our hearts hear meaning. When God is saying "salvation may be unto you", I think he may very well be offering another step to those who are listening. They, and we, have lived one way before and experienced the limitations and any privileges of one sort of life. Now God is saying, I'm going to tell you some more stuff, and you will have the opportunity (and responsibility) to live a new way, with its new fruits. And the listeners (who obey) are about to be rescued, saved, from mortality in a certain way -- explained in the rest of section 78. Verse 3 says "the time has come, and is now at hand . . . it must needs be". And then he introduces the concept of the storehouse "an organization of my people, in regulating and establishing the affairs of the storehouse for the poor of my people". I think this is exciting, and I will continue to examine the gems of D&C78 with you. I certainly am not going to say that my comments are doctrine, but I do love trying to learn.
  9. Sanctification comes by sacrifice. But then, understanding sacrifice is another huge study.
  10. I find it slightly interesting in studying the scriptures under the Topical Guide entry "Consecrate" that most of them are about becoming a priest ceremonially or otherwise something that is dedicated to the Lord (a lot in the Old Testament). But now that I am studying the scriptures under the Topical Guide entry "Consecration", now I am getting into the ideas of having material things in common (and now in the New Testament). However, I realize something very important. I'll give the scriptures first, then I'll say what my realization is. Acts 4:32 "And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things common." The footnote at "one heart" sends me to the following places: 1 Corinthians 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, . . . that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." 3 Nephi 11:29-30 "For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of cntention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away." (By the way, this applies to everyone in the human family, in my opinion, not just the church.) Moses 7:18 "And the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them." My realization is this. What I want to concern myself about as I am trying to change and live a consecrated life is my heart. I want my heart, and therefore my actions, to reach out to others. I just re-read this from President Monson's closing remarks in the latest conference (Ensign November 2008 pp106-7). "There are those throughout the world who are hungry; there are those who are destitute. Working together, we can alleviate suffering and provide for those in need. In addition to the service you give as you care for one another, your contributions to the funds of the Church enable us to respond almost immediately when disasters occur anywhere in the world . . . We thank you for your generosity. There are other difficulties in the lives of some. Particularly among the young, there are those who are tragically involved in such things as drugs, immorality, gangs, and all the serious problems that go with them. In addition, there are those who are lonely, including widows and widowers, who long for the company and the concern of others. May we ever be mindful of the needs of those around us and be ready to extend a helping hand and a loving heart." Consecration is nothing more, and nothing less, than the perfection of this feeling of the heart and the service of the hands in our lives. We don't have to worry about deeding over our possessions, because a person whose HEART isn't consecrated (and I'm talking about myself) canNOT live consecration no matter how much material things they give. On the other hand, if we consecrate our hearts, and become one in our hearts with all those around us -- whether in our church or not -- then the most natural thing in the world is to say, "What's mine is yours. If you need it, and I have it, you can have it." And I know we've all felt that way about people we love. So the challenge, and the joy -- it truly excites me -- is to expand that circle of who we consider family and friends, and then the sharing is not only not hard, but it would be hard to stop ourselves from sharing; it would be the only thing we'd want to do.
  11. I have been making notes for myself on what I think I've learned from the scriptures I've been reading from the Topical Guide entry "Conscrate". Here is the summary: *Minister, ministry *Protection from the world's iniquity *God will come to meet me. He will live with me and be my God. *Sanctification is before consecration. Sacrifice is how to be sanctified. (Clean) *Gold and idols must be forsaken. Dedicate myself to the Lord. *Everything I have given to the Lord, he has given to me first. And life is short. *The heart is where consecration occurs -- willingness, joy, uprightness, offering, "imagination, thoughts of the heart". *God will try my heart, and prepare my heart. *For consecration there is ceremonial/ordinance -- cleansing, anointing, clothing, sacrifice; but also there must be a reality of these things as well -- and then (as above) a person is ready to minister; King Benjamin said he minister with all his might, mind and strength (that the Lord had granted unto him -- granted through the ceremonial and actual consecration?) Okay, I have to go do my visiting teaching. When I return, I will post a few more comments on some new scriptures.
  12. I found a cool passage in 1 Chronicles 29. In verse 5 it says, "And who then is willing to consecrate his service this day unto the Lord?" Now in this chapter, the question or service that was actually desired was material wealth -- a monetary offering was needed so that things the beautify the temple could be purchased. However, further verses on this are still very cool. v6 " . . . offered willingly . . ." v9 "Then the people rejoiced, for that they offered willingly, because with perfect heart they offered willingly to the Lord" I love this. It shows to me that it doesn't matter what we give -- the thing or the work we are giving is the easy part. The condition of our heart when we give is the harder part, or can be. The condition of our heart is the place where the consecration occurs. A willing, "perfect", rejoicing heart. That perfect heart to me is not that the person is perfect, but that our hearts aren't divided in our feelings of our willingness to give -- it's a free giving. David the king was the one receiving these consecrated gifts, and he sang a psalm for the occasion, or sort of a speech, and here is some of what he said, which I think is very teaching as well: v 14 "But who am I . . that should be able to offer so willingly after this sort? for all things come of thee, and of thine own have we given thee. v15 For we are strangers before thee, and sojourners, as were all our fathers: our days on the earth are as a shadow . . . v 16 O Lord our God, all this store that we have prepared . . . is all thine own. v 17 I know also, my God, that thou triest the heart, and hast pleasure in uprightness. As for me, in the uprightness of mine heart I have willingly offered all these things: and now have I seen with joy thy people . . . offer willingly unto thee . . . v18 keep this forever in the imagination of the thoughts of the heart of thy people, and prepare their heart unto thee." Wow. All of that right there is all about consecration, to me. (Incidentally, verse 15 is also a reference to a pre-mortal life.) I think what I will take from this is to, again, think of consecration in terms of joy; in terms of the willingness of my heart (rather than specific external things); I will remember that every thing that I give to the Lord is something that He first gave to me.
  13. As I've read a few passages in the Old Testament in connection with policy and practices that are no longer administered to the Saints in the latter-days (at least in the same form as is found in the Old Testament), I have gotten clearer on at least one angle of consecration. To some of you, this may be "of course", but I feel it is a new insight to me. Consecration is essential to our atonement. As Jesus Christ offers the atonement to the children of God (me and you), as the work he has done to reconcile us once again to the Father -- consecration is one of the earthly pinnacles of that reconciliation. Consecration is not extra; it represents the atonement and reconciliation that is offered and has been done in our behalf. Until and unless we are experiencing a consecrated life (NOT perfection per se, let's not conflate the two ideas), then we haven't received all of the atonement that we could. We are still separate from our God and separate from our fellow beings. Whereas the great commandment is to love God, ourselves, and our fellow beings. Consecration binds us together, knits our hearts, creates a unity. It is exactly the heaven, the reconciliation we say that Jesus does for us, and yet we refrain from partaking of it. 1 John ch 3, v 2 "Beloved, now we are the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is." Alma 41:12 "And now behold, is the meaning of the word restoration to take a thing of a natural state and place it in an unnatural state, or to place it in a state opposite to its nature? . . . this is not the case; but the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again . . . good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful." Mosiah 18:21-22 "And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another. . . And thus they became the children of God." Remember, though, that not one of us can do good on our own. Not one of us can effect consecration in our lives on our own. If we do good, it is because the Savior gives us this heart, this ability through his own merits and grace, if we humble ourselves, ask for the gift, and pass through the trials that lead to a consecrated life. We do get to choose to be obedient; that is our part. But consecration isn't held out to us as more to DO so much as the JOY that we have the right to as those who have been redeemed. It IS the reconciliation, the atonement, the being brought back into the presence of God (or nearly so, but recall in Exodus that the Savior said that he was coming to dwell with his people when they sanctified themselves).
  14. I almost never think in terms of worship. I am His daughter and I have a relationship with my Father. He has been with me 100 percent of my life even when others forsook me, including myself. I can trust Him completely. So I love Him as a daughter would.
  15. Coooool, Hemi, thanks. :) I hope I get a chance to get to every one of those!