SuzyQ7879

Just a thought. (.....be careful when you ask for advice ....) I don't mean this to be anyway disrepectful or flippant but have you discussed any same-sex attractions with him? Take away all the physical problems we've discussed and some of the emotional issues and you have a recipe that I have seen all too often. I really hope this isn't an issue.....and not just because you say it isn't. Have you honestly asked him......and gotten an honest reply.

I am a member who married a nonmember and I would have loved him to take the discussions on his own.....that way I would know he wasn't leaning on my testimony. That being said......he spent 4 years attending church and going through bunches of missionaires before deciding to be baptized. When I asked him why it took so long he said because he had to get to the point that anything ever happened to me or our kids, he would still go. So ask yourself this......if we were not together would I still get out of bed on and go to church? Also, JUMP IN ALREADY!!!! You are never going to know either way if you don't start finding out. It's like trying a new food that everyone says you'll like but you've never had it. You are just staring at saying....."well, it looks good....but what if it makes me sick.....everyone else says it's good....but what if it tastes funny...." Just take a bite and you'll have your answer! Oh, and if he doesn't understand the need for you do this on your own.....dump him. I don't mean to be harsh but you will only be setting yourself up for heartache.

I hate this situation for you but unfortunately getting caught RARELY is a catalyst for change. Most likely all going to the bishop will do is put him in the position to lie to the Bishop. You have to ask yourself what you want your end result to be and how much control do you have of that outcome......the answer is most likely none. You only have control over yourself and your response. Most all of your decisions need to be about you and your (and your children's) well-being. Let me tell you a something about a spouse you can't trust from personal experience.....it gets old real quick and you NEVER get over it. My mother and father have had this disfunctional relationship for 40 years. She has become cynical and unfeeling and joyless. My Mom says she has spent her whole life "waiting for the other shoe to drop". Be prayerful. Heavenly Father knows your heart and his and what is best for both of you!

Hey Guys, I appreciate all the input. All this ended up being too much drama so I took matters into my own hands. I picked step-son up by myself on Friday and had my own little talk with him. I told him that is Dad was really upset and that he was afraid of him hating him. SS said that he didn't say that he would rather go home. Turns out his Mom said "You just want to come home and stay with Uncle Joey if you have to go to church right?" And of course, he said Yes. I told him he needs to have a talk with his Dad then. He still really didn't want go because his Mom and Grandparents (the Pastor) have put such fear in him I think he really thinks he may burst into flames for even stepping foot in the building. Now, this became a power struggle with the ex. My husband, who never want to ruffle feathers, just wanted to stay home this one Sunday and then make sure this situation doesn't happen again. Tired of fighting and the drama, I did the one thing I could do..............I made everyone go to Catholic Mass! It wasn't the Mormon Church and it wasn't the Baptist Church and it I suppose it was my own little passive-aggressive stance because the Baptists don't really like Catholics either. :)

I totally agree. We can all see this.....except my husband. His parents divorced when he was 11 and he and his brother were the boys with their bags packed waiting on a Dad that never showed up. He has major resentment toward his father hence, his fear of his son resenting him. And he is nothing like his father. He talks to his son everyday and sees him constantly. How do you help someone see something when they are too emotionally invested? He just tells me I don't understand and things are different because he doesn't see his son everyday like he does our girls.

I hope someone can help me with a little a perspective. Here's the deal: My husband used to be a deacon in the Southern Baptist church and married to the Preacher's daughter. They divorced when my step-son was 2. He is now 12. We have been married for 7 years and my husband has been a convert for 3. We have my step-son from Thurs-Sat night so Sundays have never really been an issue. When we have had him on the occasional Sunday and taken him to church, his mother was hysterical. For those who may not know....Mormons = VERY BAD CULT to Southern Baptists. It just so happens that we have him this weekend and my step-son, with his mom beside him, told husband that he did not want to come visit if he had to go to church. Also told his father that if he took him home he would feel like he is choosing church over the extra time he could be spending with him. My poor husband is so afraid that his son is going to resent him, he is in knots. He was just going to stay home with him but I said he needed to show his son church was important regardless of the church. He says I don't understand because he already has so little time with him and doesn't want him to resent him. I want to be a "good understanding wife" but I think he needs to not let the kid make the choices. He's 12, he'll go to church and it won't kill him. I see the emotional power-plays but my husband can't get over the fear of his son resenting him. What do I do? Anyone else ever been through something like this?