I’m in need of any help or advice any of you can offer, I know since introducing myself on here I haven’t been very active but I have bee reading many threads and posts. Apologies in advance as this is going to be very long winded.
A year ago today my Nana died after what was thankfully a short illness. We were called in the early hours of the morning, by the nursing staff who said she had taken a turn for the worse. This was one the hardest days in my life so far. We discussed with the doctors and nurses that we didn’t want her resuscitated as we knew she would not want this. And the doctor said he would write her up for diamorphine to make her comfortable. (It took all day for her to actually receive any which is another story entirely) As the day turned into nit we made sure there was always someone sitting with her. As it got later into the evening my mom and dad left leaving just me with my Nana. All day we had been talking to her and telling her it was ok to and telling her to go be with Grandpa, but frustratingly nothing seemed to enable her to be set free of the pain she was feeling. But as I sat with her alone in silence holding her hand muttering words of comfort to her I cannot remember now I suddenly remembered ho much she believed in prayer and how much comfort it brought her, so tried to remember the Lords prayer which I had said everyday in school assemblies. Eventually I had to ‘googled’ it on my phone as I could not remember it. When I found it I held her hand in mine and started to whisper it to her. As I did so I felt amazing sense of peace and calm was over me, after I said Amen my Nana squeezed my hand and mouthed Amen herself. Shortly afterwards I felt that I had to leave her now. I left at around 12 that night and a little after 1 in the morning we had a phone call telling us she had died. My parents went to the hospital to see her but I felt that Nana and I had said our good byes. You may be wandering why I have just told you all this but here is where I feel my religious and spiritual journey began (So I felt it relevant). I truly believe that through saying that prayer my Nana was able to leave this earth, and that brings me great comfort.
My struggle, in which I am asking for help, comes with not knowing which church to belong to. In the past year I have read the Bible and began praying a lot, which I feel has kept me close to my grandparents and brought me closer to God. In the summer before I finished university my housemates and I were having a BBQ in the front garden when some missionaries walked past and offered to talk with us about the LDS church (which we all declined) but they gave us some leaflet type things which prompted me to look at lds.org and mormon.org online. I learnt a lot about the church started reading the Book of Mormon and have been in contact with missionaries on the phone who are based in Utah. When reading the Bible I feel the spirit, but when reading the Book of Mormon I do not. I have not stopped reading the BOM because of this but I am struggling to believe and know what I am reading is true. I pray for guidance and help from God to know what I am reading is true. But I never felt like any of this was being answered until maybe a few weeks ago when I had decided I would attend an LDS church on Sunday. In that week I prayed on this and on the Saturday night straight after praying felt somehow compelled/guided/lead to the church on my road which is a Church of England Church. So on that Sunday I went to the C. of E. church. During the service I felt immensely calm and peaceful, making me believe I was in the right place. Is this to say this is where I should be? As I cat really speak about these things with my family.
Has anyone here ever experienced anything similar to this?
Well I think I have gone on for too long now,
Thank you for reading and I hope I’ve made sense?
Sally
