mwelch28

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  1. i appreciate the advice youve given me. i dont feel that i am giving up drinking FOR the girl. i have always known that i would return to the church i just dont know when is right. i view this girl coming into my life as a sign that the time is coming sooner that i am going to repent. i honestly dont feel like i would be repenting for her. i realize i need to feel sorry for it before i can repent.. how can i feel sorry for it? i dont feel liike i am dependant on alcohol by any means. it doesnt make my grades worse. i dont ditch any type of responsibilites because of my drinking. i honestly dont view it as a very negative impact on my life so i really am not sure why i would currrently feel sorrow for it.. any suggestions?
  2. ok this is a very long story im going to try to keep it short.. here is some background info on my situation: i was raised mormon. starting drinking/smoking/having sex when i got into high school. also during those years i had my parents push the church on me pretty hard which in turn pushed me away from the church. i have always believed the church is true and have always known i would stop all the partying and be a good mormon again. i feel like i do have a very strong testimony even though i havent regularly attended church the past 3 or 4 years. i know that god is there for me and any time in my life things have been super hard i pray and my prayers have ALWAYS been answered. the past couple years in college i have been living a party lifestyle.. at the start of this year i realized having multiple sexual partners was a bad thing so i cut back on that. i have a girlfriend who has an EXTREMELY strong testimony of the church and i am so grateful to have her. im fairly confident that i want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. she has made it clear to me that the only way she will get married is in the temple. ive known her for about a year and a half and even last year (when i was still regularly having sex with other girls) i never once tried to have sex with her because i knew she was a virgin and i respected her enough to know that she wanted to wait until she was married. there are two things that i am asking for advice on.. 1. me going back to the church. like i said before, i know i am going to go back to the church at some point. i know that im not going to want to drink and party forever and that it is a temporary thing. my girlfriend says that she will never push the religion on me and says that she supports me doing it when i am ready. i feel bad about having sex before marriage and realize that it was wrong and im not going to have sex again until im married but im struggling to be done drinking and partying. my fear is that i will want to marry this girl before im ready to be done partying so i will go back to the church for her, and not for me. i know in order for it to work it has to be my decision and not for anyone else. the thing i am curious about is how do i know when it is time for me to stop all the bad decisions and start repenting? i know for a fact that i am not quite ready to be done drinking and i dont really feel sorrow that i have done it for so long. i know in order to repent for something that i have to feel bad for it and i just dont. my girlfriend says that she will be patient and i have no doubt that she would wait 5 years if she needed to for me. i think i will be done before then i just dont want to rush it and do it the wrong way you know? how do i know FOR SURE that i am ready to give up this lifestyle? 2. ok so me and my girlfriend have never had sex, we have gotten close and done just about everything else there is to do, but not sex. i know that a HUGE key to a successful and happy relationship is to stay away from that kind of stuff. we have both made it clear that we want to be good and not do anything more than kiss but we both struggle with it. i want our relationship to be the best it can be so i know in order to do that we need to stop anything more than kissing. its kind of weird because she is usually the one trying to get me to do more than kiss. we are both EXTREMELY busy and really the only time we get to hang out is at night, alot of nights she will come sleep over at my house and during the sleepovers is where the majority of these things happen. she always says that she feels close to me while we're doing these types of things that she loves the bond that she feels. i know if we stop doing things completely she will take it as a sign that i dont care about her or find her attractive or want to be close to her like that. i have already told her that if we stop doing those things we will be doing it for the right reason not because i am not attracted to her and for her to keep that in mind. i know the obvious answer is to not have sleepovers and my only problem with that is it would significantly cut back on the time we get to spend together.. is it possible for us to have sleepovers and stop doing these kinds of things? we both want to be better but we keep slipping. im just not sure what to do about this situation in general. kind of back to the first problem.. (also i realize this is a huge post so thank you for reading this far.) while ive been trying to figure out the answer to the chastity problem it has helped me realize why the church doesnt want us doing these types of sexual things. realizing this has helped my testimony grow stronger. i went to church for 2 hours today (first time ive gone to more than 1 meeting in over 2 years) and i actually paid attention to the talks. before i just sat and daydreamed but when i payed attention today i found myself learning alot and seeing things that actually applied to my life. i am going to make an effort to go to church on a little bit more of a regular basis. i dont want to be a hypocrite by going to church then going out and drinking but i dont see myself ready to be done drinking for a while (one year two years maybe three? i have NO idea). ive thought about this alot and am just really curious how i will know when im ready to stop? or even if i will ever know for sure or if i will just have to wake up one day and stop? thank you for reading this huge thing. ANY advice on either subject would be appreciated