classylady

Senior Moderator
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classylady last won the day on June 28 2014

classylady had the most liked content!

About classylady

  • Rank
    Senior Moderator
  • Birthday 03/03/1955

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Utah
  • Interests
    Travel, Reading, Music, Children and Grandchildren
  • Religion
    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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  1. classylady

    Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy

    Here’s a few things we do: Attend church. Usually stay home after church and try to take a nap—especially now since we’re older and have less energy. Read. Some Sundays we visit extended family. Try to have family dinner. I like to do family history on Sundays. We used to have a Family Home Evening lesson on Sunday when the kids were young. We don’t shop on Sundays! Nor do recreational activities like swimming, fairs, amusement parks, or attend movies or plays. We also did not have friends birthday parties for the kids. We might do birthday cake with family only, but never a friends bash. We also don’t do yard work on Sunday.
  2. classylady

    Women and children as witnesses

    I wish I could remember exactly what he said. We were asked not to record, video tape, or take photographs. He talked about how so many in Africa only have one meal a day. The average length of life for men is around 44 years of age. He mentioned AIDS being one of the causes of the young death rate. They live in very small houses, perhaps one room, often caring not only for their own family, but often the children of their brother because he has died. The young men (and women) are needed to help support the family. If they go on missions that financial support is not there. And, as I mentioned earlier, some of these young men and women are the only members. As to fast offerings, he didn’t say much more than, here they are, poorest of poor, hungry, how they give of their meager earnings—pennies, nickels, and need food and basics to survive, and in Utah some are unwise with their income and now need help in paying their mortgage using fast offering money. I think he was trying to portray the huge difference in needs and wants. It sounded like he said these poor saints are willing to help us in Utah, and it’s usually due to our unwise decisions, yet they need the very basics.
  3. classylady

    Women and children as witnesses

    I was at a German Mission reunion last night for all German speaking missions. Elder Bednar and his wife spoke to us and he specifically touched on this topic. He asked us to please stop with the myths, etc. that so many of us adhere to. He said the policy changes such as witnesses, ministering, youth program, missionaries able to call home on a weekly basis, etc. are because we are a world wide church. It needs to be simplified, but the eternal truths are there. It needs to be family based. For example, he talked about Africa, and the growth there. Young adults have the obligation to care for their parents and support the family. Often times, the young person is the only member. If they go on a mission they are unable to to help support the family. If they have no contact with the parents for the two years while serving, the parents become more antagonistic towards the church. The change in policy for missionaries to call home was for them, not us (Utahns, Americans), but we benefit. I wish I could state this the way Elder Bednar did. He talked about the Saints in Africa who are the poorest in the world. They pay their pennies and other meager change for fast offerings, which goes into the coffers of the church, so someone here in Utah can pay their mortgage because they were unwise with their money, He was blunt. He talked about revelation and how it is often given, line upon line, precept upon precept. Most of the church policy changes are not abrupt changes. Each particular prophet has been working for years in specific areas of their stewardship. These are not new ideas to them, but it comes line upon line. I’m grateful I was able to hear Elder Bednar talk. The Spirit was so strong. His wife’s comments were just as powerful. I truly feel blessed to have been there.
  4. classylady

    Goodbye

    Congratulations!
  5. classylady

    Third Hour forum get together

    I’m glad you misread your itinerary. It was fun meeting you!
  6. classylady

    Second marriage and temple garments

    @Hello, I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who had previously been sealed. When we were sealed I requested we get sealed in a different temple than the one he and his ex were sealed in. When I was pregnant with our first child (his 3rd) I chose a birthing technique that would be unique to us. There were many other things that we have done to differentiate “us” as a couple. In fact, when I read about remarriage advice, doing things unique to the new couple can be beneficial to the marriage. It seems to especially be important to women. Things like getting a different bed than the previous couple’s bed is important. If moving into the same house as the previous couple, redecorating can be crucial so it becomes “our” house, etc. Another, little anecdote from my marriage. My husband brought a beautiful set of china from his first marriage to ours. We would use it occasionally for special occasions. Over the years, whenever I would open the cupboard and see that set of china it would trigger unwelcome thoughts of his ex-wife. One day, about 25 years into our marriage, I happened to find a beautiful set of china at a yard sale and bought it. I was sitting in the car after buying that set of china and the tears just started to flow. I realized how much his old set of china had bothered me. I hadn’t even realized just how much. When I got home, I asked my husband if he would mind if we gave his old set to our daughter, who had recently gotten married. He was fine with it, and in fact, if he had known how I felt about that china all those years he would have long ago given it away. He had no emotional attachment to it. Since then I have acquired a second beautiful set of china, again found at a yard sale. These sets are “safe”, where they do not bring unwelcome thoughts. .
  7. classylady

    Third Hour forum get together

    Count me in, along with my husband.
  8. Welcome! I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who was still sealed to his ex-wife. That was over 30 years ago. At that time it was difficult for men to get a sealing cancellation from an ex-wife unless she was going to be sealed to a new husband. When my husband and I decided to be sealed, my husband requested a sealing cancellation from his ex, but the First Presidency said it wasn’t necessary in order for us to be sealed. I swallowed my pride, and chose to be sealed. I wanted the blessings of the sealing for me and my children. That was far more important than whether my husband “might” still have a priesthood stewardship with his ex that would extend into the eternities. Also, at that time, sealing clearances for men had not been instituted. A sealing clearance means just as it sounds. The man is “cleared” to be sealed to another woman. The sealing is not cancelled. A sealing cancellation though, means the sealing is cancelled. Any children that are either born in the covenant or are sealed to their parents will not lose the blessing of being sealed to righteousness parents. That remains intact even if the parents are no longer sealed to each other. Now, fast forward about 25 years. My husband talked to our bishop about having his sealing cancelled to his ex-wife. Our bishop was very understanding and in fact asked my husband why he hadn’t tried to have the sealing cancelled earlier. My husband told him, he had, but, “I didn’t think it was possible.” Our bishop told him it is much easier for men to request a sealing cancellation from their ex-wife, even if she has never remarried, or has married a nonmember. So, our bishop started the paper work for the sealing cancellation. After the Stake President approved the paper work and sent it into church headquarters, my husband had his answer back within three weeks and the sealing cancellation was approved. (Sigh! That was such a huge burden taken from his shoulders and mine.) The Bishop will ask the ex-wife to write a letter telling her point-of-view of the divorce. It is not a letter “giving permission.” My husband also needed to write a letter stating his point-of-view about the divorce. Any child support or maintenance payments will need to be current. (Edit: some ex-spouses refuse to write a letter stating their views of the divorce. They are given about three weeks to reply. If they don’t reply the process goes on without the letter. Some ex-spouses may be vitriolic in their letter. From what I understand, unless there is proof of unrepentant misconduct it won’t have much bearing on the outcome.) Our Father in Heaven understands our feelings. He will never force anyone to be together eternally if they don’t want to. Your future husband and his ex most likely have already broken the sealing covenant by their divorce. But, it is nice to know that the sealing can actually be cancelled. Some bishops and stake presidents may not know that men may be allowed to request a sealing cancellation. It isn’t very clearly written in the handbook unless it’s been clarified since my husband requested his sealing cancellation. Even though it is hard to understand polygamy, especially from a woman’s point of view, and our current culture, it obviously was ordained of God at different points in time to help raise up a righteous generation. My family goes back at least five generations within the church, and I wouldn’t be here if polygamy wasn’t practiced. I’m very grateful to my ancestors for their sacrifice and dedication. Good luck! I hope this helps.
  9. I agree with you. “All” is a rather broad idea.
  10. As I’ve been reading all the posts I am reminded of the wording in The Proclamation on the Family: “We the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve...solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God...”. Note, that the wording does not say that only eternal sealings are ordained of God, but that marriage is ordained of God. I take that to mean all civil marriages between a man and woman are ordained of God, which means they have merit. Most societies/cultures have some form of marriage. I believe it is a fundamental institution that comes from God. Perhaps it is wired into our DNA? I don’t know the answer to that, but it is interesting to me that marriage is a recognized institution across almost all cultures. I believe that our Father in Heaven has planned it this way.
  11. classylady

    So um... I have an announcement.

    Wonderful news! It is such a blessing to be sealed as a couple and family. It is my greatest comfort. As a child I found comfort in knowing we were an eternal family after my father died in a tragic accident. As a mother I find comfort in knowing our daughter is sealed to us, and we are an eternal family. She died in an accident at the age of 19. IMO, there is no greater blessing.
  12. classylady

    Van Halen Poll

    Last year I volunteered to help watch (guard) my son’s father-in-law’s guitar collection that was on display in the St. George Parade of Homes. He has an extensive guitar collection and Van Halen’s signature is on one of them. Kind of cool. The guitar I really kept my eye on was a Fender Strat, Serial Number 0003. If you know anything about guitars you can make an educated guess on it’s worth.
  13. classylady

    DNA testing

    My husband and I both used Ancestry for our DNA analysis. It’s so interesting. My youngest sister also did hers through Ancestry and it’s fascinating to see how different we are, yet Ancestry was able to connect us as siblings.
  14. classylady

    What if your spouse had a sexual partner before marriage?

    Shiva, you are heartbroken over your boyfriends past sexual history. It is true, as you say, that if you two married that the two of you would never share some milestone first time experiences together. You would be unevenly yoked in the physical intimacy department. He can be forgiven, but there are consequences to his past actions. He has a history that cannot be erased. No matter how much he (or you) wishes It never happened, it did. He will have those memories and comparisons of his past girlfriends. Even if he tries his hardest not to compare, it is part of human nature. In order to be happily married when one partner has more experience in the physical intimacy area, some things that are needed would be : trust, transparency, reassurance from the more experienced spouse, absolute knowledge that you are number one and adored, and healthy self-esteem. If your self-esteem is lacking you might start comparing yourself to his exes, and that is never healthy. It can destroy a good marriage. If his past bothers you this much, don’t expect marriage to erase it. Resolve it in your heart before you get any more serious.
  15. classylady

    On Being Mad at God

    I appreciated the Jewish story you shared. Very good! I had just finished rereading Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning” last week so, this story really hit home.