classylady

Can't stand anything spicy. I can barely eat a slice of pepperoni pizza. And all this started happening after my first pregnancy over 35 years ago. I could easily handle spicy foods up until that time, now I tolerate it, more to just be polite. It isn't something I willingly order at a restaurant or prepare for my family. I've been to South Korea twice in the last 5 years and I had the hardest time eating kimchi and/or anything similar. I can eat it, but dislike it immensely!

I say, keep your distance, especially if remarried. If there are children involved, there needs to be some communication and civility, but imo, it should be kept to the basics of visitation dates and times, and other necessary information about the children - nothing more. IMO when there is too much fraternization going on between the parents after a divorce it sends the wrong signals to the children. They won't understand why their parents got divorced if they are now such great friends. And, if they are good friends, then perhaps they should have worked harder on their marriage. Women should not be calling their ex and asking for help with car repairs, leaky faucets, etc. Neither of them should be calling each other and sharing their disappointments, confidences, etc.

Flirting is overrated. The trick, I found, when in my singles Ward, was to just be friendly. Say, "hi." Make positive comments about the lesson or about the General Conference talks. Be genuine. Tell people "it's good to see you". Give some true compliments, such as "I appreciated your testimony", "I enjoyed your lesson", etc. Go to the activities. Just by doing that I had more dates than I ever imagined, because, like you, I also had insecurities. Looking back, the reason (I think) I had plenty of dates was because I was "safe". The young men weren't afraid of being "shot down" by me. I had been friendly to them. They knew who I was because I had talked to them and I was genuinely interested in them. Twenty-five isn't all that old. If you feel you aren't all that interesting, then do something to change that. Do some fun things, like learning to play an instrument. You're never too old to learn something new. I'm in my sixties now, and I'm going to start guitar lessons. Perhaps, you could find a few people who would like to hike some trails with you. Find something that interests you and learn that new skill. You might find a hidden talent you never knew you had.

I've been looking for a new swimsuit as well. I also like the tankinis with the shorts. One of my biggest gripes about the one-piece swimsuit is when you have to use the restroom. The wet suit has to be peeled off, down to your ankles, exposing your breasts and lower area. And, honestly, most bathroom stalls have gaps where others can see your naked body in all its glory. Embarrassing! I'm finished with the one-piece.

I also agree with this. I don't think the weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth would be permanent. But, I do believe that, for me, because of my knowledge of right and wrong, I will have more than just an occasional feeling of regret for not attaining the highest degree of glory. I will accept and agree with the glory I am assigned, but I will probably feel a great deal of remorse and regret for disregarding the commandments knowing full well I could have and should have been obedient.

I agree. Mosiah 16:2. "And then shall the wicked be cast out, and they shall have cause to howl, and weep, and wail, and gnash their teeth; and this because they would not hearken unto the voice of the Lord;...". And, Alma 40:13 "...there shall be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and this because of their own iniquity, being led captive by the will of the devil."

To find the Ward/Bishop, go to LDS.org. Once there go to Quick Links and find "Find a Meetinghouse or Ward. Once there type in your home address and click search. Then click on the link for the Ward. The address will come up along with the Bishop's name and phone number. Make an appointment. You can tell him you're in the Ward but have been inactive for a number of years. Basically, you can tell him just what you've told us here. The Bishop will let you know how detailed you need to be.

Perhaps the problem the OP has isn't so much her past sins, (for I believe he can put that behind him if she has repented), but the fear of being compared to her past lover(s). This is a legitimate concern. I know this by experience. I married a divorced man. Unfortunately, no matter how much my husband would like to forget his past experiences with his ex, it is part of his history. He cannot forget. And, it has had a negative impact on our marriage. We have been married over 36 years. It still has an impact. We are able to overcome the consequences, but it has put a strain on our marriage that has nearly ruined the joy we have in each other as a couple. If this is a concern for the OP, then DO NOT marry her. It has nothing to do about forgiveness.

The first step in returning is having the desire to do so. You have that! And I believe it is the Spirit that is prompting you to come back. My advice is to continue to listen to that Spirit. Satan will try to deter you. Please don't listen to that other voice. You have a testimony. Apply what you know. You know that our Savior has atoned for our sins. Grasp on that. He knew you would come to this earth and make mistakes. We all do. That is why there is repentance and foregivess. Allow the atonement to work in your behalf. Hold onto that knowledge. Make an appointment and talk to your Bishop. It will be such a relief. Get this off your chest. He can help you to find the best way to overcome your addiction. Don't worry about being excommunicated. If that is what is needed to become whole and clean again, in my estimation it would be worth it. As for your wife, she may surprise you. Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. She may be very supportive of your desire to come back. Your desire for being more spiritual may awaken a desire in her as well. It may not, but you can never tell. Good luck. The Lord will bless you in your righteous desires.

I'll read with you.

It may not be because of the distraction element. My husband is our building's technology specialist. Every Sunday he checks the internet speed and sees the number of connections during the meetings. He can see exactly how many devices are connected to the network. There can be as many as 200 + devices connected at any given time. People aren't necessarily using their devices, but the devices are "on". And it slows all of the network down. So, what that means, if any teachers, family history consultants, etc. are trying to use the internet it slows them down considerably and detracts from the lesson because the teacher is trying to connect, or the Family History lab is unable to enter data on the computer, etc. We have 3 wards meeting in our building so that means 2 wards overlap each other on Sunday. With 2 wards overlapping there are a lot of devices that are "on" at any given time. As of yet, there has been no direction from our Stake Presidency to turn devices off.

Once, as a kid, I pulled my jacket down from the outdoor clothes line and put it on. There were 3 bees that I didn't see that were slightly up one of the sleeves. I was stung. I prefer my clothes dryer.

Two weeks ago I told my husband I wanted and needed some romance in our relationship. And I asked him "When was the last time you suggested or instigated a date? When was the last time you were the one to suggest we go out to dinner?" He hasn't been the one. I've been the one the last year or so requesting we go out. It must have made him feel guilty, because the next week he suggested we go on a picnic up the canyon. I hope it continues. I don't want anyone to think that my husband doesn't do romantic things for me. He often buys me flowers of which I'm very grateful. He just hadn't been the one to suggest a date for quite a long time. And, I'm very grateful I can tell him what I need and he tries to comply.

The pictures and stories of my deceased ancestors are already on FamilySearch. But, my children and young grandchildren don't get online to look at the info. I'm thinking of something similar to a Book of Remembrance, but I want to use regular sized binders and paper, not the large rectangular size of Book of Remembrance that I had (and still do) as a young girl. And, to tell the truth, I don't particularly like FamilySearch. Some days it takes forever to log in and bring up the info I'm trying to look at. It often freezes and kicks me out. I will be getting a lot of the information off Family Search, but my grandchildren are too young to navigate it. My adult children haven't had the interest and I'm hoping this will help "turn their hearts to the fathers".

I have this nebulous idea in my mind about a Christmas present for all my children. I'm thinking of buying binders and putting inside it our family tree, group sheets, our courtship story, stories of ancestors, journal entries from grandparents, etc. Do any of you know good websites I can go to where I can download free digital family trees or family group sheets, etc.? I guess I could also go to the Church's Distribution Center or Deseret Book to see what they have. Any other ideas?

I'll have to try this.

Dahlia, glad you found out about the cataracts. Was it discovered with a routine eye appointment? Or, did you realize you had a problem and specifically set up an appointment?

Hi, Mormonheart. I'm also 62, but refuse to think of myself as old! I served a mission to Duesseldorf Germany mission in 1976/77. I loved my mission and all the people I met. I try to get over to Germany whenever I can. I still haven't been to Berlin. One of these days I'll get there.

Good to have you here. I'm also a grandma and loving it!

I had no problems with streaming from LDS.org. Watched all 5 sessions of conference.

When my husband and I were first married, all the married children would often gather at my in laws for Sunday dinner. It was much like your family where it was not required, but a standing invitation. Over the years as families got larger it seemed to gradually occur less often. I think that is natural. Some families moved further away, and as some of the grandchildren became teenagers they had other interests. I believe, Backroads, that as your family changes and grows, that includes your siblings too, your weekly dinners at your parents will gradually diminish. It is okay to decide to not attend every week. There shouldn't be any offense taken. It's not like you're completely cutting yourself off from your family--just one Sunday a month for now. In the future that could change to two Sundays, and then eventually, perhaps, only occasionally during the year. That is the natural progression of family dynamics.

In my family, it's just the opposite. Of our 7 children, we had 4 boys and 3 girls. Out of my 12 grandchildren we only have 3 granddaughters. From what I have studied there typically are more male births to female births by about 105 males to 100 females. I found the following study: "In a scientific paper published in 2008,[20] James states that conventional assumptions have been: there are equal numbers of X and Y chromosomes in mammalian sperm X and Y stand equal chance of achieving conception therefore equal number of male and female zygotes are formed, and that therefore any variation of sex ratio at birth is due to sex selection between conception and birth. James cautions that available scientific evidence stands against the above assumptions and conclusions. He reports that there is an excess of males at birth in almost all human populations, and the natural sex ratio at birth is usually between 1.02 and 1.08 (102/108 male to 100 female ratio). However the ratio may deviate significantly from this range for natural reasons." Study after study seems to confirm the data that there are more males born than females worldwide even when factoring for female infanticide in certain populations.

Hey, I would be willing to fly out for a get-together in Texas. I need to use my flight benefits more often! The easiest city to get to, for me, is Houston since United has a hub there. But, I could connect there and fly pretty much any where in Texas. I also have family in the Houston area.

I love a good broccoli/chicken casserole. My Aunt had a great recipe, but when I asked her about it, she couldn't remember ever fixing it. If anyone has a great recipe for a broccoli/chicken casserole please share it. I'm trying to find a good recipe.

You're in a tough situation. You obviously love your younger siblings and your mother. Moving out isn't an easy decision, not only because you feel like you may be what's keeping your younger siblings on the right path, but you are dependent on your mother, to some extent, financially. Living at home, may indeed, be enabling your mother's behavior. But, you may be the stability your siblings need. My only advice is to fast and pray about it. Your answer may be to stay and be that stabilizing factor in your siblings lives, even though it's enabling your mother. Your answer may be to leave home and get your own place. My feeling is that unless you move far away your mother will still depend on you to come home for the weekends to watch the kids. Hope you can find the answer to help bring peace into your life.