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Everything posted by classylady

  1. classylady

    Another Star Trek Rant (Sort of)

    Love all the Star Trek series. Especially love Voyager. I just wish I didn’t have to defend Voyager to the haters. I haven’t figured out why Voyager is derided so much. Is it because the captain is female? What’s everyone’s take on this? Why the dislike for Voyager?
  2. classylady

    Faithful vs Less Faithful

    More often than not the moderators are very much aware of the trolls that come on this site. There are many posts that never get approved. We’ve seen some doozies!!! Some of it is pure filth. Unfortunately, until the rules are broken, they are allowed to speak their minds. This reminds me of Korihor in the Book of Mormon, Alma 30: starting with verse 6 “...there came a man into the land of Zarahemla, and he was Anti-Christ, for he began to preach unto the people against the prophecies which had been spoken by the prophets...Now there was no law against a man’s belief;... 9 Now if a man desired to serve God, it was his privilege; or rather, if he believed in God it was his privilege to serve him; but if he did not believe in him there was no law to punish him.... 11 Nevertheless, there was no law against a man’s belief; therefore, a man was punished only for the crimes which he had done; therefore all men were on equal grounds. 12 And this Anti-Christ, whose name was Korihor, (and the law could have no hold upon him) began to preach unto the people that there should be no Christ. ...” The people of Ammon (Anti-Nephi-Lehi’s), which I liken to the stalwarts on this site, were more wise than many of the Nephites; and carried him to the high priest over them. And Korihor was removed from their land. Usually, the trolls eventually say something that breaks the rules and they will be banned. I’m so appreciative of the stalwarts on this forum who stand for truth and righteousness and do not waiver. You are all saints and angels in my eyes. @Grunt,you are loved. You have been a breath of fresh air. Your posts have been a reminder that there are true seekers out there. Sometimes, we can get a little bit cynical when someone comes to the forums with an “honest” question, and then they become a troll. Thank you, for allowing us to be part of your conversion story. The gospel is true! I know it with every fiber of my being. I cannot deny the witness of the Holy Ghost that has confirmed to me the truthfulness of this church. I’m grateful to all of you on these forums who are not afraid to speak up in defense of the church and our leaders.
  3. classylady


    I have learned a lot since I started reading the forums. The anti’s are bothersome and I so appreciate those on these forums who know how to answer their garbage in a knowledgeable manner. What has helped me, is to disengage and not become emotionally charged with their claims. Sometimes this can be difficult. If there are certain posters you know who have a negative tendency, I believe there’s a way you can block them from appearing in your feed. We would hate to see you go. But, you need to do what is best for you. What I have learned from reading some of the negativity, is that my testimony is strong and it hasn’t waivered. My testimony has been strengthened. I have a handful of family members who have gone through a crisis of faith, and I have been able to help them by many of the things I have read on these forums. If I had not waded through some of the negative posts I would not have known how to answer their questions. For that, I’m extremely thankful.
  4. classylady

    Heading to Utah

    We were very well behaved. Wink. Wink. My hubby was there too. And all he wants to talk about is Amature (Ham) Radio. Since he knew Grunt has his license he was all excited to meet him. That really wasn’t what we talked about most of the time. We heard Grunt’s conversion story in wonderful detail.
  5. classylady

    Heading to Utah

    It was a real pleasure meeting you. It had been awhile since I had gone through the Church History Museum. President Eyring’s art exhibit was wonderful. It had also been several years since I had toured the Conference Center. Looks like you made it to the Church Office Bldg., theJoseph Smith Memorial Bldg., Beehive House, and This is the Place Monument. You were busy!
  6. classylady

    Conditions of the Spirit World

    I have been doing some research since I read your post. I can find very little information. The only info I can find is by Bruce R. McConkie. In his book Mormon Doctrine, he states that most devils, demons, or evil spirits are those spirit beings cast out of heaven for rebellion. So far, that agrees with what you state. However, under Spiritualism in his book, as he talks about mediums and seances, he states “In most instances, however, such spirits as manifest themselves are probably the demons or devils who were cast out of heaven for rebellion. [and then he says] Such departed spirits as become involved in these spiritualistic orgies would obviously be the spirits of wicked and depraved persons who because of their previous wickedness in mortality had wholly subjected themselves to the dominion of Lucifer. Righteous spirits would have nothing but contempt and pity for the attempts of mediums to make contact with them.”... So, according to him there could be wicked departed spirits who interact with the living. I know his book isn’t authorized by the church, but I have great respect for Bruce R. McConkie. I have always been under the understanding that wicked departed spirits could interact with the living. I just have no authoritative documentation. All I know is that we should not dabble in the occult in any manner. It is dangerous and will harm our spiritual selves, and possibly our physical selves.
  7. classylady

    embracing in the spirit world

    Same here, Anddenex. I have had experience while on my mission.
  8. classylady

    Heading to Utah

    My husband and I will meet you. Let me know when. I’ll message you my phone number.
  9. classylady

    When Forgiveness if Really, Really Hard

    Such a sad experience. I’m so grateful for the atonement. Some day this will all be resolved by our loving Savior.
  10. classylady


    So happy for you and your boys. I was so appreciative of my husband whenever he performed Priesthood blessings or ordinances for our children. Your boys were blessed to be able to have you, their father, baptize them.
  11. I have to admit that Pres. Eyring’s talk has been an eye-opener. In my mind, whenever I heard the word nurture, my understanding was that it meant: to love, encourage, support, look after, strengthen. I would think of a mother hen hovering over her chicks and protecting them, helping them find food, etc. I admit I never focused on the teaching part of it. Though, when I think about it, as a full time mother, who spends the most time with the young children? So, where are they learning their speech and other behaviors from? It’s primarily the mother. As the children get a little older, in a traditional home, father also teaches. Much of this teaching from both mother and father is by example. In our home it has primarily been me that taught gospel principles. My husband just never seemed inclined to bring it up. He was supportive, but never really instigated gospel discussions. Same with FHE. If we held it, I instigated it, and taught the lesson. I truly wish my husband would have taken a stronger role—at least suggesting we hold FHE, and not leaving it all up to me. But, I do admit my husband was good about instigating family scripture study. Since reading Pres. Eyring’s talk, I’m not as upset with my hubby as I was. I probably should have been more consistent in holding FHE.
  12. classylady

    Sealing kids

    From what I understand the children will only be sealed once—to your ex-wife and their stepfather, (and yes, children can be sealed to a stepparent, as long as bio parent gives permission.) The important thing to remember is that even if they are sealed to the stepparent, that will never take away your importance of being their bio parent. You will always be their “dad.” I commend you for seeing the bigger picture of the importance of your children being sealed. They need this blessing. I believe in the eternities to come your children will be grateful to you and call you “blessed” for allowing them this important blessing. In the long run, it’s the blessing of being sealed that counts, not so much as to whom they are sealed.
  13. classylady

    Where shall we go on on our summer vacation?

    Haven’t made plans for summer yet. But, in April my husband and I are taking our 14 year old granddaughter to London so she can visit her best friend. We will actually be in the Ipswich area for about two weeks. I’m really looking forward to this trip.
  14. classylady

    Paradise, California Wildfires Causing Severe Damage

    As a kid, I lived about 32 miles south west of Paradise. I remember Paradise as a pretty little town. This breaks my heart. Butte County is my old stomping grounds, where I was born, went to Elementary School, etc. It is very emotional for me to watch all the footage of the fire. I pray the fire will soon be out. Luckily, any family I have in northern Calif. all live in the Sacramento area.
  15. classylady

    Goals + Abraham + Scrum

    Losing my father to death at an early age (I was 6 years old) sort of warped me. I won’t say I was warped in a bad way, but I experienced profound grief at such a critical age that it changed me. As a teenager, I felt old for my age. I couldn’t bring myself to do some of the things that my peers did. I knew I wasn’t invincible/immortal like many teens think. I knew I could die today or tomorrow. And, I knew that if I wanted to see and or be with my father again I needed to obey the commandments. At a young age I made up my mind that I wanted to “go to heaven.” At a young age I had faith in God and I learned later to have faith in Jesus Christ. According to Zil, (I think) my desire to “go to heaven” would be an Epic goal. I call it a commitment. And there are a lot of steps to reach that specific commitment. I have called those steps short term goals. Always, in the back of my mind, I have known what my end desire is. It is to obtain the highest degree of glory. I want that more than anything! I want to be with my loved ones whe have passed on before me. I miss my father. I miss my daughter. I miss my grandparents and my mother. What bothers me, is that I still fall short of some of my short term goals. I’m grateful for repentance. Because without repentance there wouldn’t be any hope for me. I truly wish I was like those in the Book of Mormon, when they were converted had no more desire to do evil, but to do good continually. Also, I want to add, that in my mind, a commitment is something you don’t give up on. It’s something that you don’t fall short on. A commitment is something that you will achieve.
  16. Marriage can be hard, even when you are married to one you are “in love with”. That infatuation stage of love will only last for about two months to about two years. After that it should shift into the attachment stage. Some people crave that “rush” of the infatuation stage and will go from partner to partner looking for that rush and then move on when it’s over. If this is you, you need to do some deep thinking and introspection. Some therapy may be needed. That type of love won’t last in a marriage, and isn’t feasible. If you never had that feeling for your wife, all is not lost. You can develop the feeling of deep attachment, which is what most long last lasting marriages have. If you leave your current wife, what do you think will happen? If you remarry, you and your new wife will always have to deal with your ex. It is not easy to constantly have to coordinate schedules between two households. There is very little privacy and the new wife may dislike that. If your current wife gets custody you will have child support payments to make which may put a financial strain on your new marriage. This is often a source of contention of remarriages. Then there is the step-parent issue. I can’t remember if you have a son or daughter. If you have a daughter the step-mother/step-daughter relationship can be very difficult. There is almost always loyalty issues. Many remarriages fail because of the step-parent/step-child issues. The new wife often feels like a second-class citizen because her husband doesn’t know how to set appropriate boundaries between himself and his ex, and doesn’t enforce respect between his children and the new wife. I married a divorced man with children. I have done a lot of reading on the subject. We have been married over 37 years. If I had to do it over again, I would not have married a divorced man. It has been brutal! We love each other. But, love does not take away the issues in a remarriage. And, remarriages have more issues and baggage than a first marriage. It’s a fact of life. If you can make your first marriage work, do all that you can to salvage it. Divorce is not worth it! [Disclaimer: other than for abuse, adultery, or addiction]
  17. I have often heard others say “Church is so boring. It’s the same lessons, time after time.” And, I think to myself I need those same lessons time after time. I need to be reminded of the importance of obeying the commandments. If I’m not reminded it would be so easy for me to start with: it won’t hurt if I shop on Sundays; tithing is so hard, I’m going to skip this month because I need Christmas money; a little flirtation with my co-worker won’t hurt; I’m going on a Sunday drive in the mountains instead of attending church, I can feel the Spirit that way; telling off-color jokes isn’t so bad; etc. The list can go on and on. There are so many ways the Spirit can leave us. I personally need to be reminded to choose to do right. I need to hear the message of being more Christlike. It isn’t a waste of time to be preaching to the choir. I’m in the choir and I need the preaching. Maybe, it’s because I’m just like the Israelites, who need the constant preaching and call to repentance. It would be so easy for me to slip and stop following the commandments. I hope it doesn’t sound like I think I’m perfect. I have so many weaknesses I need to improve on. That’s again why I need to be preached to.
  18. classylady

    Is anyone not close to their extended family?

    I am very close to my extended family. On my mother’s side there are 56 first cousins. Some of my Aunts and Uncles had very large families. One Uncle had 14 children. Another Aunt had 12 kids. It was crazy (in a good way) when we got together for Thanksgiving. We would reserve the church and meet in the cultural hall. This was all in the Northern California area around Sacramento. I was sad to move to Utah away from my cousins. But, by moving to Utah, I then had the opportunity to now get better acquainted with my father’s side of the family. I have about 35 first cousins on my father’s side. I’m close to most of them, but I didn’t bond with them as closely as my other cousins. I wonder if it was because I was a little older. Or, perhaps it was because we were still some distance apart. We lived in Southern Utah and they all lived up north. After moving to Utah my mother would send me to stay with my aunts or uncles in Sacramento or Reno, NV for the summer. I loved staying with them. I never got homesick. I’m still very close and it has been hard to lose my aunts and uncles to death over the years. I grieve along with their children. I love FaceBook because it allows me a way to keep in contact with my extended family. It also allows a way for my cousin’s children to get to know me. At funerals, weddings, and reunions the younger generation know who I am because of FB. They aren’t afraid to come talk to their mother or father’s cousin because they know me through FB. I make positive comments on the photos thy share, etc. Some of them have come and stayed with me at my home. A little closer on the family tree, I have had different nephews live with me and my family for several months at a time. They know they are always welcome.
  19. classylady

    Heading to Utah

    My daughter’s in-laws flew in from Korea last week. They all did a whirlwind tour of Utah’s five National Parks this past week. Mrs. In-law’s favorite was Bryce. She also liked the State Park Dead Horse Point. Mr. In-law’s favorite was Arches and Canyonlands. They were at our house for dinner last night on their way back to my daughter’s and son-in-law’s home. They told us Utah is “the treasure of the United States”. They loved the beautiful scenery and spectacular sunsets. I have lived in Utah since I was eleven years old. I visited Zion Nat’l Park almost on a yearly basis. Bryce, I’ve been to many times, but not as often as Zion. Capital Reef only a couple of times. Same with Arches. I had never been to Canyonlands until two years ago. It’s spectacular. I wish I had pushed to see it sooner. I will return, and this time either during the spring or autumn. We were there in August. I almost passed out due to the heat.
  20. classylady

    Fun with Classical Music

    Loved both Beethoven’s Fifth and In the Hall of the Mountain King’s line drawings! Very clever. I’ve been working on Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” for the piano this past year. It’s always been one of my favorite classical pieces. I’ve gotten discouraged trying to perfect it. No matter how many times I practice it, I can’t seem to get the song 100 percent. Of course, not being able to bring myself to play the piano for about fifteen years has greatly diminished my capabilities. I’m still trying to get my skills back. When I could emotionally bring myself to start playing again, nearly fifteen years after my daughter’s death, I am now playing one to three hours a day. It has become my therapist.
  21. classylady


    I wonder if the Hill Cumorah Pageant and the Manti Pageant will continue? Those are the only two I’m really familiar with, though I think I’ve heard of smaller pageants now and then. I can’t remember the names of any others.
  22. classylady

    Heading to Utah

    @Grunt, when will you be in Utah? If you want someone to show you around my husband and I would be happy to do so. You can message me. My husband will be happy to talk to another Ham Radio Operator. He just passed his General last month. Now he’s studying for his Extra Class. He was so close to passing the Extra Class. He took it after his General test without studying for it and missed it by only a few questions.
  23. Your above statement, “We have literally lived more than twice as long without plural marriage in the Church than we have with.” started me thinking about my family history. One of my maternal great grandmothers married her husband in 1888. She was the second wife. I was three years old in 1958 when she passed away. The first wife passed away that same year. My great grandfather had passed away prior to me being born. What this means is that some polygamist marriages, those performed before the Manifesto, were still functioning within my lifetime. I find this fascinating! It really is close to home. My grandparents have always spoken highly of their childhood and growing up with so many siblings. This particular great grandmother was also a child from a polygamist household. Her mother was the third wife. My great grandmother had this to say in her journal: “I am grateful for polygamy, which gave me such fine brothers and sisters... I am grateful that as a heritage it seemed easy for me to accept and live happily in polygamy as one of my Father’s numerous posterity. And I leave my testimony as to its power in developing Christian ideals of unselfishness and it’s marvelous experiencing of love and deep consideration of the feelings of others, which we must all learn if we are to gain the Eternal Salvation.” She further had this to say about her husband and his first wife: “l met xxxx in 1887. I thought him one of the finest, best-natured men who had ever come into my life. ...he wrote mother asking her consent for him to court me. ...we corresponded... My appreciation for him as a man of real worth, as the prospective father of the family I wanted to have grew. ... it was a period of secret and very difficult courtship for me. Polygamists were being hunted down and imprisoned daily, but it mattered little to those who believed in, and honored this sacred principle as had been taught us to do. Mrs. xxxx “(always called Polly) was very nice to me. Said she’d rather he’d marry me than any girl she knew — ‘though she didn’t see why he need choose one so pretty.’ “ Mr. xxxx “gave me every opportunity to really become acquainted with her, since I insisted this should be the basis upon which my consent to marry should rest. Every experience at that time served to convince me of the sincerity of purpose of this noble woman. It must have been a real trial in those and earlier days in our church for the women in Mormondom to share their husbands, thus making possible the marriage of many girls who otherwise might never have known the joys of motherhood with such fine men as Bro. Xxxx type to be fathers to large families. My tribute to “Aunt Polly”, as we always called her, is one of true sincerity. She has always been wonderful to me throughout our long acquaintance and companionship”... This is what Mrs. Xxxx (first wife) had to say: “At this peak of our prosperity my husband was prompted to take a second wife. It seemed a noble thing for him to do, especially when it was almost certain to result in a term in the State prison. ... I am sure that my convictions in the soundness of the principle would have enabled me to suppress every urge to jealousy...”. One of our family stories is where Mrs. Xxxx made a beautiful dress for my great grandmother to wear during their courtship. I have many family histories where the practice of polygamy was noble and inspired. I’m very grateful for the rich heritage I have and I’m proud of this heritage.
  24. classylady

    Wish Me Luck

    I remember JudoMinja. I miss her posts.
  25. You don’t need another wife, you need a live-in maid/housekeeper, like Alice from the “Brady Bunch.” That would solve the day-to-day problems. My ancestry is from good polygamist pioneer stock on both my paternal and maternal sides of the family. It has been interesting to read some of their journals. Most polygamist families lived in separate households. So, depending on how many wives you had, you would be responsible for building/buying each wife her separate house. If each wife had five children or more, think of how many pairs of shoes, clothes, braces for their teeth, food, etc. that you would have to provide? I have one ancestor, I can’t remember how many wives he had, I know he had at least three, but if he bought a large sack of beans he would have to count the beans when he was dividing it, so each household received the same amount, or there would be complaints. And those wives would make sure no one wife was favored. Not fun in my opinion. My maternal great grandfather married two sisters. They did live in the same house, but each sister had her separate living quarters. They were very close and helped each other out, much like in your scenarios. But, I don’t think that was the norm. I think of the ancient harems of the kings, and how the wives would kill the babies of the other wives so their child would some day be the rightful heir. Not pretty. I grew up in Southern Utah and have met a number of “lost boys,” young men who have been disenfranchised from their closed polygamist communities, because there are not enough women for them to marry. Most of the girls are married off to the older patriarchs in the community. My son just built a home last year in St. George, and the builders (two brothers) were from a small polygamist community, and were pretty much kicked out after a certain age. This is very common. The builders subcontracted out the framing and other jobs to polygamist groups. It was very interesting. During the St. George Parade of Homes I volunteered at my son’s house. Many polygamist families came through to see the end result of their labors. The women, dressed in their long skirts, and long hair, had cell phones just like any woman these days, and were taking photos on their phones just like any other woman. It was interesting. I’m a people watcher and enjoy watching others.