classylady
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Posts posted by classylady
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I’m hoping to have more time to work on family history. I just pray that I, personally, will make good use of that time and not disappoint my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by squandering it. I have good intentions. I will need to be on guard to stay on top of my good intentions and remain committed.
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I’m accepting President Nelson’s request to the sisters to give up social media for 10 days. I know what that will entail for me—FaceBook, and some of my online games I play. How about you?
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I’m the better baker. I love to bake cookies, cakes, breads, etc. My grandfather owned a bakery in Elk Grove, CA and I must have inherited his love for baking. As a child I loved the smells when visiting the bakery and loved watching him and other family members make cakes and decorating them for birthdays and weddings.
I make a great pot roast with potatoes and carrots. I also make yummy lasagna and enchiladas. My husband doesn’t care for casseroles so I don’t make many of those, but I love them.
Our family favorite that all the kids love is our beef roast or turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. When it comes to mashed potatoes and gravy my husband and I are a team. I wash and peel the potatoes. Husband cuts them up and mashes them when done. He makes the gravy. I assist with the stirring. We always make the potatoes and gravy for our family get togethers. My oldest daughter’s in-laws from Korea are coming over to the States later this month. She asked us to cook a roast and make our mashed potatoes and gravy for them. We are happy to oblige.
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For people who know me, they find it definitely out of character that I would actually be a moderator on a website. Haha.
One of my quirks lately is I have a fascination with watching flight simulations of airplane crashes. You Tube happily notifies me of any new videos that are out, and I can’t seem to help myself, but watch the grizzly scenes. It’s amazing how real these videos seem.
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On 9/17/2018 at 10:45 PM, Shrinks said:
Hi my brother is going to marry a girl that has been married twice before with 2 kids. She struggled a lot with a broken family and inactivity.
I’m a little worried about him marrying her, I was just curious. Has anyone ever heard of an apostle of general authority marrying a woman that has been married before or had a promiscuous past? I know it’s a long shot, but it’d be comforting to know that leaders of the church have taken the risk before.
I would definitely be cautious about marrying a twice divorced person. Hopefully, her character speaks for her, and she is an honest, hard-working, spiritual, loving woman.
I married a divorced man who had custody of his two young (2 and 4 year old) children. He was/is a wonderful man. But, I admit, if I knew then what I know now I would not have married him. It has been extremely difficult! There is no privacy. All vacations had to be coordinated between us and the ex. Financially it was hard. His ex refused to pay any child support even though her income was equal to my husband’s. Whenever my husband asked her to be financially responsible, she would threaten to go to court to get custody of the kids. Thus, there was very little security. We were always fearful she would do this.
For special family functions such as birthdays, baptisms, etc. the ex will be there. When there are kids involved the ex will always be a factor, and it’s hard to be a nuclear family. A blended family is not the same as a first marriage family. No matter how much you want it to be, and try for a normal family, there are always the interruptions, phone calls, etc. from the ex. Boundaries are important to be set up between the spouse and the ex so misunderstandings are limited.
And then there is the stepchild and stepparent relationship. There can be loyalty issues. Usually there are problems between stepdaughters and stepmothers. My stepdaughter, even though she is now 40, has hangups and loyalty issues with me. I could have been a perfect stepparent, and she would still have issues with me. It is what it is. We are civil to one another. I love her, but the feeling isn’t reciprocated. I’ve had to disengage so I’m not so emotionally devastated. Stepparent and stepchild issues is one of the big factors of divorce in remarriage. And, the biospouse needs to support and include the new spouse in the decisions about visitation, etc.
As a stepparent every interaction with the stepchildren was scrutinized. My mother-in-law was traumatized by her stepfather and watched my every move with her grandchildren. She came to love and appreciate me, even telling my husband that I have been a blessing in their lives. But, it was rough those first few years until I gained her trust.
One Sunday there was a woman at church who told me that she was watching me how I disciplined my stepson who was misbehaving by teasing the baby. She told me I did wonderfully, treating my stepson lovingly, like I would my own child. It was a reminder that as a stepparent, I was being scrutinized and judged without even realizing it.
And then there are the times when the marriage relationship is going through a rough patch. All marriages have their ups and downs, but in a remarriage there are added insecurities. I’ve read where a remarriage can be classified as a “special needs” marriage/relationship. As with any marriage, love needs to be communicated, but a remarriage often times has to deal with the extra insecurities, such as “am I second choice?” Is our relationship as meaningful as the first, such as “been there done that” and not as exciting? Is the relationship between husband and wife strong, so as spouse is dealing with ex, which needs to be done on occasion because of the kids, there are no loyalty issues?
These can be some of the extra issues spouses have in dealing with a remarriage. That’s why the divorce rate is higher with second and subsequent marriages. It isn’t easy!
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I have seen many people who love their pets as much as a family member. When we had to put our aged dog down, it was sad. But, the amount of sympathy and support we received from co-workers, extended family, friends, and neighbors was surprising to me. I grew up on a dairy farm and many of my “pet” chickens, calves, piglets, and lambs grew up and became our dinner. I guess I don’t understand the “pets are family” mentality.
- NeuroTypical, Traveler, Vort and 2 others
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An eternal marriage (sealed together) is the greatest blessing/gift that we can receive. I am so grateful that my husband and I have an eternal marriage. I’m so grateful that my daughter who died in a car accident at the age of 19 was born in the covenant. Not only do I know that I will see her again, but I cherish and hold to the promise that we are an eternal family. There is no other blessing in my life that is greater than this. Please do not think lightly of eternal marriage.
One of the greatest comforts I had as a child was knowing my parents were sealed together as husband and wife. My father died when I was six years old. I am so thankful for that comfort of knowing we were an eternal family. Even though my father was not with us in this life, I knew we were still a family. There is no other blessing more comforting than this knowledge.
I strive to live my life worthily, even though I often fall short, so I can be with my daughter and other loved ones again. I don’t want anything less than this. For me, nothing else comes close to this blessing and comfort. When you truly love someone you want an eternal union.
- JohnsonJones and M.K.H.
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14 hours ago, Shrinks said:
Hi my brother is going to marry a girl that has been married twice before with 2 kids. She struggled a lot with a broken family and inactivity.
I’m a little worried about him marrying her, I was just curious. Has anyone ever heard of an apostle of general authority marrying a woman that has been married before or had a promiscuous past? I know it’s a long shot, but it’d be comforting to know that leaders of the church have taken the risk before.
As an apostle, President Howard W. Hunter, remarried in 1990 about 7 years after his first wife had died. He married a divorced woman, Inis Egan. Inis had been divorced since 1966 and had three children from her previous relationship. From what President Hunter wrote in his journal, they were very happy together.
- Maureen, Midwest LDS and zil
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2 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:
Wow! The best history lesson I’ve ever read! Lol
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35 minutes ago, prisonchaplain said:
So, first I will say I made a wise choice going with the staff member and his family. It was pretty easy to blend in, and being part of a family going made it feel much more natural. There were 49K plus in attendance, and a repeated theme, even by a couple of the speaker, was the unique privilege of being able to see and hear God's prophet in person. Other common themes were the privilege of the restored gospel, the powerful witness the Book of Mormon offers (with reference to the Moroni promise, as well as James admission to ask the Lord for wisdom), and the power and blessing of temples (with their covenants and sealings, etc.). As for styling, the feel was that of the old church--dress up, piano and organ, and order of worship clearly laid out. President Russell was impressive in his energy, his conviction, and the clarity of his message. There was a good blend of classy, yet comfortable. I may not have a testimony of several of the unique doctrines and claims of the church, but it is now much easier for me to understand why so many find strength and comfort in the church, the community, and from its teachings.
I wish I could have been there. Thank you for sharing.
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I love the song Tainted Love by Soft Cell. But, whenever I hear it I always think of the movie, The Coneheads, where Beldar gnarfles the Garthok. https://youtu.be/O4A46OQkklA
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The saving ordinances such as baptism and temple ordinances are required to be exalted. All must receive those ordinances. We do the work for our dead so they may progress. As we do their work our hearts are turned to them, and they likewise to us. I like the thought that they may be the ones who minister to us from the other side of the veil.
Journals are a wonderful means of connecting us to our ancestors and posterity. I was teaching my Sunday School Class (12/13 year olds) last month and we were discussing journal writing. One yong man said he had only ever written a few pages and his writings “sounded stupid”. I told the class how my father had died when I was only 6 years old. He never kept a journal. Do you think even one page of a journal would be precious to us, his family? It would be priceless.
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I worked for Continental Airlines at the time at their Salt Lake reservations office near the airport. My shift didn’t start until 3 pm, so I was home that morning. I continually flipped through the channels trying to desperately get more information. I was in a state of shock. I was heart-broken for my “brother and sister” airline employees who lost their lives that day. The aircraft that crashed into the Twin Towers, The Pentagon, and crashed in a field were United and American Airlines. They were our competitors. But, any thought of them being our competitors vanished. We were family. I lost part of my airline family that day. I still mourn their loss.
Returning to work that day was a nightmare. And it was awful for the next several weeks. Many employees would suddenly burst into tears after a particularly rough phone call. I talked to hundreds and hundreds of people rescheduling flights, canceling reservations for people who were too afraid to fly, and family members who lost loved ones from the plane crashes. Many people who called were traumatized and in tears. It was an emotionally traumatic time. Continental allowed us extra breaks because of the emotional trauma. We were also working overtime because of the influx of calls. It was nerve-wracking and difficult, which is an understatement. I can’t truly describe the chaos and devastation we all felt.
The airline industry took a major hit. No one wanted to fly. There were lay-offs within the whole industry. It has taken years to recover.
- SpiritDragon, Just_A_Guy and Anddenex
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Being female I never pick up anyone on the side of the road or stop to offer assistance unless it’s an obvious accident and no other help is likely for some time.
I did have a scary instance happen several years ago when I picked up my 19 year old son from his job at 11:00 at night. He wanted to stop at the grocery store on our way home. I stayed in the car while he ran inside. As I was sitting there a woman came up to my car, opened the passenger door and asked if I could please give her a ride home. I thought maybe she was in trouble, so I said yes. As she slid into the front seat, the back door, passenger side, opened and a man got in, saying thank you for the ride. I’m thinking “this may not be good”. I told them I was waiting for my son, and luckily, my son got back to the car. We took them to their apartment complex. Nothing happened, but, I wonder if I didn’t have my son with me, if there would have been a different ending.
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I happen to live several miles from the American Fork/Alpine Tabernacle. So, I drive past it on a regular basis. We have attended quite a few Stake Conferences in that building. I don’t happen to love the exterior architecture, but the interior has stunning wood work.
In my younger years I lived in St. George and often attended Stake Conference and other functions in the St. George Tabernacle. Beautiful building! I loved going inside and feeling the Spirit that was there.
I have also loved visiting the Salt Lake Tsbernacle. Again, I’ve attended many conferences, Christmas Devotionals, and Choir functions there.
i happened to be wondering why the church no longer builds Tabernacles and found this article about LDS Tabernacles. I didn’t realize how many had actually been built. Do you have a favorite Tabernacle?
https://www.deseretnews.com/top/3435/0/A-look-at-60-historic-Mormon-tabernacles.html
- Just_A_Guy, Maureen, JohnsonJones and 1 other
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On 8/27/2018 at 4:17 PM, MormonGator said:
Inspired by @NeuroTypicals "Dad post"
Without going into in depth family secrets and scandals, would you say you generally get along good with your Mother and Father in law? While I obviously don't know what they say when I'm not around, my in laws and I get along great, and my family likes @LadyGator much more than they like me!Both my father and mother-in-law have passed away within the last 3 years. They were wonderful and we got along very well. Though, when Classygent and I were first married my mother-in-law scrutinized my interactions and every move I made with my two young step-children. She had a bad relationship with her step-father, and I think she was afraid I would be the “wicked step-mother.” Several years before her death she told my husband that I was a blessing in their lives. I hope I was. Both my in-laws were a blessing in my life.
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On 9/3/2018 at 6:53 AM, Carborendum said:
"Rapscallions"?
Have you been spending time with @Vort lately?
I have learned a lot from @Vort, more than just vocabulary. I would love to someday have dinner with Vort, you, and many others on this forum. IMO you’re all (well, most of you) amazing.
Instead of rapscallions (which I actually stole from Neurotypical to describe us) I could have used scallywags. But, I’m thinking I like rapscallions better.
- Vort and NeuroTypical
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26 minutes ago, anatess2 said:
BEEFCHE!!!! GLAD TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN! WE MISS YA! What's up!
So, about this marriage thing. I married my husband when I was still Catholic. Before that, I almost got married to another guy. My parents, his parents, everybody were flying into town (some from out of the country) for this wedding. Flights and hotel all booked. The wedding gown alone costed $5K. My mom melted her collection of ancient silver coins to make the chord (Catholic thing), it was a very expensive wedding. My fiancee and I went through a month of marriage seminar, etc. etc. I backed off of the wedding 1 week before the big day. Most of the stuff are non-refundable. And a lot of presents have come in that I had to painstakingly return.
So then I met my husband. This time it was The One. My parents wouldn't accept him because he is not Catholic in addition to not being raised Filipino. So we got married without much fanfare. We took a day off from work, went to the city hall, paid $80 for the license, added $20 for the JIP to marry us under the arbor in the back office. He gave me my el cheapo engagement ring as my wedding ring, I gave him his CTR ring. We spent $40 for the pizza afterwards to treat our friends during their lunch break. Best wedding ever. And then we went back to work the next day.
We made our vows and my husband's strong booming voice as he said them was priceless. I would have wanted my family to be there with me. But I wouldn't change anything about my wedding except for having the opportunity for a temple marriage. We were sealed at the temple 5 years later and that was beautiful. But we celebrate our courthouse wedding anniversary instead of our sealing anniversary just for the main reason that we made our marital vows then.
My husband and I celebrate our civil marriage too. We will acknowledge our sealing day to each other, but we celebrate the actual wedding day. We talked about whether we should celebrate both, but opted for the one celebration. One of the reasons we opted for that is, In the Proclamation on the Family, it states “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God...” It doesn’t say only temple marriages are ordained of God.
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Carb, I couldn’t help but cry happy tears when I read your news. “How great shall be your joy” is truly what one feels when bringing souls into the gospel. I’m so happy for you.
I served my mission in Germany and baptisms were not easy to find. I decided long ago, that if the only soul that was saved was me, then my mission was worth it. I think most of my converts have fallen away. There may be one, maybe two, that remain active. I don’t really know. But, I came away with a strong testimony of the restored church. I’m so grateful!
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On 8/9/2018 at 4:32 AM, Sunday21 said:
@classylady Should we ban Classy Lday for liking Lionel Richie? 😱 Having typed that dreaded singer’s name I now have to wash my iPad.
Being serious for a moment. We all feel a little superior about our music preferences. And, I admit that many years ago I probably would not have admitted that I liked Lionel Richie’s music. Now, I’m too old to care anymore about what other’s think about my taste in music. Music is powerful. And, it can be enriching or negative, or not much of anything.
And, all I know is that whenever I hear Lionel’s song “Three Times a Lady”, I can instantly go back in time to sitting in the car driving down the freeway in Southern California, with my head resting on my guy friend, and this song came on the radio, and I knew this relationship was not going any where. I was sad, but at the same time not heart-broken, even though we loved each other.
Music can help imprint certain events in our minds. I have similar imprints with other Lionel Richie songs like Sail On, and Still. And other groups such as The Doobies, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, Earth Wind and Fire, the Osmonds (gasp! another group I would have never admitted to liking back in my teen years)— some of their songs can all bring back strong emotions and clear memories.
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If what you say is true, then they deserve each other, and they will get their just reward. Let it go. And, even if it’s true, they can repent, and all can be forgiven. It is not up to us to judge, thank goodness. If they are repentant, and they have no obligation to tell you, then they will have confessed all to their church leaders. If church leaders deem they are worthy to attend temple and be sealed, be happy for them. Be happy they are trying to do the right thing in their marriage by being sealed to each other. It is not your call, or your stewardship. Let it go.
Ten Day Fast from Social Media
in LDS Gospel Discussion
Posted
For me, the hardest thing to do will be no FaceBook. That’s how I stay in touch with my married children and keep up with my grandchildren. I don’t think I overuse FaceBook. I usually skim through it several times a day. It’s also how I know what’s happening with my neighbors and ward members. I had the opportunity to minister to one of my inactive neighbors last week. They posted on FaceBook that their car wasn’t working and they had no way to get their boys to the bus stop for the military academy their boys attend. I was able to help by driving the boys and picking them up on Thursday and Friday. I hope they don’t need help this week because I won’t know unless I’m contacted directly.