classylady

I had just watched that video of Pres. Eyring about an hour ago. It popped up on my FaceBook feed.  Powerful! 

I had just watched that video of Pres. Eyring about an hour ago. It popped up on my FaceBook feed.  Powerful! 

I had just watched that video of Pres. Eyring about an hour ago. It popped up on my FaceBook feed.  Powerful! 

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

I like to win too. But, I have given up my winnings/prize to someone else. I like to see others succeed.

I like to win too. But, I have given up my winnings/prize to someone else. I like to see others succeed.

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

Just wanted to comment on the two bolded areas.

First: “Then you will never be heard” — true. Hopefully, if an aware person is in charge, they will be aware that there are those in the room that have something worthwhile to share but won’t because they are not aggressive enough to get their thoughts shared.  I’m thinking along the lines of a Sunday School class. Many don’t share thoughts or experiences because they feel inferior, or in my case it’s too intimidating to speak up in front of men and some women. I’m much more likely to speak up in a group where I feel accepted and everyone feels comfortable. There are times I don’t participate, even though I know the correct answer (reading these forums, I’ve learned a thing or two) because of the alpha attitude of some in the class. They seem to take over, and I’m not aggressive enough to interject. So, my information, thoughts, and feelings don’t get shared.
Second: “Then someone else will succeed and you won’t. This isn’t hard to understand.” For me, what is success? It certainly isn’t getting first in a competition or a promotion. In many areas I know I can win, and often did. I would much rather give up my prize to a struggling coworker.(I’m so glad I’m retired. ) I had no desire to be the one in charge., even when I was a supervisor. Let me just do my job so I could go home and be where my heart was—with my family. I was not the main breadwinner in our home. That was my husband’s job. So, glad he was willing to be that person. So, was I an unsuccessful employee? I think not. I used my time wisely And did my job. Then I went home to my real job. I was happy to see my coworkers get promotions and worked to see them get ahead. I received promotions too, but it didn’t mean much. (When I was single it did mean a lot more). Let me be a mom to my kids and support my husband. I consider that a success! I may be in the minority in regards to my thinking. But, success, in my mind has always been as a wife and mother. 

I like to win too. But, I have given up my winnings/prize to someone else. I like to see others succeed.

I actually liked the article. It was spot-on for me. Should women’s voices not be heard? Why do we need to be aggressive in order to be heard? My personality is such, that when I’m in a group I am reserved. I’m that way whether it’s a mixed group or all women group. I will speak up if I have something worthwhile to contribute, but I’m not going o be aggressive about it. It’s not in me to act that way.
Another way I find myself to be different than men is in the area of competition. A number of years ago I was working with a boss who set up competitions in order for co-workers to be more successful in sales. This didn’t motivate me at all. Sure, I would like to win the competition prize, but I hated to win because then someone else would lose. I would rather see someone else succeed, rather than me.
I’m very grateful that the Lord doesn’t set up getting into the Celestial Kingdom as a competition. We can all make it!

I actually liked the article. It was spot-on for me. Should women’s voices not be heard? Why do we need to be aggressive in order to be heard? My personality is such, that when I’m in a group I am reserved. I’m that way whether it’s a mixed group or all women group. I will speak up if I have something worthwhile to contribute, but I’m not going o be aggressive about it. It’s not in me to act that way.
Another way I find myself to be different than men is in the area of competition. A number of years ago I was working with a boss who set up competitions in order for co-workers to be more successful in sales. This didn’t motivate me at all. Sure, I would like to win the competition prize, but I hated to win because then someone else would lose. I would rather see someone else succeed, rather than me.
I’m very grateful that the Lord doesn’t set up getting into the Celestial Kingdom as a competition. We can all make it!

I actually liked the article. It was spot-on for me. Should women’s voices not be heard? Why do we need to be aggressive in order to be heard? My personality is such, that when I’m in a group I am reserved. I’m that way whether it’s a mixed group or all women group. I will speak up if I have something worthwhile to contribute, but I’m not going o be aggressive about it. It’s not in me to act that way.
Another way I find myself to be different than men is in the area of competition. A number of years ago I was working with a boss who set up competitions in order for co-workers to be more successful in sales. This didn’t motivate me at all. Sure, I would like to win the competition prize, but I hated to win because then someone else would lose. I would rather see someone else succeed, rather than me.
I’m very grateful that the Lord doesn’t set up getting into the Celestial Kingdom as a competition. We can all make it!

I expect that all list members, especially those who are Latter-day Saints, felt a bit miffed when reading @Ironhold's thread. "What is the matter with people?" many of us thought. Why would anyone, much less a father, exhibit such a seemingly anal retentive attitude so as to require someone to kneel on BOTH knees, not just one, when performing an ordinance? I mean, seriously? It requires, like, zero insight to figure out that's not good.
However, I am not without sympathy for Ironhold's dad. He was wrong, to be sure. @NeuroTypical's Joseph Fielding Smith "mic-drop" comment about the sacrament really nails this fact. I can't come up with any reasonable scenario where acting as Ironhold said that his father acted could be construed as acceptable, and I can't imagine that Ironhold would prevaricate or exaggerate such a matter. But I have long noticed a "creeping mediocrity" within the Church, often overlooked or dismissed, or worse yet, justified as somehow a charitable virtue. Maybe this was Ironhold's father's concern, too.
Kneeling for prayer is a worthwhile example to examine. It's not a natural position, certainly not one that we can comfortably hold for any extended period without first being inured to it. It's like sitting in the Japanese floor-sitting position called seiza. If you're not Japanese and haven't practiced sitting like that since childhood, odds are you'll find it uncomfortable if not downright painful. The older you get, the harder it is. Yet Japanese, both young and old, sit in seiza for minutes or even hours at a time with minimal discomfort. Similarly, kneeling becomes a comfortable position only as we practice doing it a lot, for minutes or even hours at a time over a period of many years.
So why would anyone kneel to pray? Well, perhaps in a way because it's not natural. Kneeling is a long-accepted demonstration of humility, a way of bowing before a greater authority, literally humbling ["humble" = low to the ground] oneself before another. This attitude is absolutely vital in praying to God. We do not approach God as an equal with whom we're carrying on a peer-to-peer conversation. Or if we do, then our prayers will not lead anywhere good, because we don't understand our position before God. We must approach God with an attitude of utter and abject humility, or else we don't approach God at all. Thus, kneeling is spiritually a completely natural and desirable act, the flesh mirroring the spirit in attitude.
Then what of those who cannot kneel? They must therefore be cut off from all contact with God. It only follows, right? And the better one can kneel, the more acceptable he is before God!
This is transparent nonsense. No one believes that. It's a Pharisaical attitude that probably would out-Pharisee the actual Pharisees.
BUT...
That's not to say the principle is untrue. Dwelling on the openly hypocritical nature of the above example tends to lead people to decide that any prescription of action such as kneeling is a hypocrisy. And thus we follow the garden path right down the slippery slope, until anything is acceptable and nothing has a real standard. Baptism by sprinkling? Infant baptism? Sure, why not? For that matter, why worry about baptism at all? It's all good!
We kneel because it is our place to kneel before God. We kneel in such ordinances as the sacrament because we're instructed to do so. We kneel in our personal prayers because it serves as a physical reminder of our correct place before God. And the more we practice kneeling, the less onerous it becomes. If we can't kneel, then we don't kneel. But which of us has never found ourselves praying while lying down, just to get it over with, without even bothering to drag ourselves to our knees because we're just too tired (i.e. it's just too inconvenient)? I try always to kneel when I pray alone or with my wife, even when she prefers to sit. I kneel because I want to show God through my physical actions that I'm trying to humble my spirit. If my wife doesn't see things that way, that's okay. She doesn't report to me in such things. But that's what I feel, and it's what I have tried to teach my children.
Another example I can bring up is the monthly fast. (Yes, this is an issue I have addressed multiple times in the past. If you're interested, here's my most recent post on the matter from about sixteen months ago.) Now I am in no position to judge individuals in this matter, so I make no such pretense. But I have eyes in my head and a brain in my skull. I have observed myself very closely over the years. I have observed family members, friends, fellow ward members, and congregations I have visited. I have observed in-laws, both my own and those of my children and relatives. And what I have noticed is that Church members very often make up excuses for why they cannot or will not fast. It's often the idea that they have low blood sugar or diabetic intolerance or that fasting makes them feel bad, so instead they'll give up something else like watching TV for Sunday, and THAT will count exactly the same as a fast. Because that's what a fast is, really. Sacrificing something. Right?
No. Not right.
From what I can see, people don't fast because they don't like it. Going without food and drink, even for a short 24-hour period, makes them feel weak and achy and uncomfortable. But as I have often quoted President Woodruff as having said:
It was remarked this morning that some people said they could not fast because it made their head ache. Well, I can fast, and so can any other man; and if it makes my head ache by keeping the commandments of God, let it ache.
How many blessings do we completely miss out on because we Just Won't Fast? I don't think it's right to berate ward or family members for not fasting. That is not my place, and it is not what I'm trying to do. But it doesn't take a genius or a prophet to look at what's going on and realize that, as a people, we appear not to keep the monthly fast as we should. Is this not another example of creeping mediocrity that ends up being oh-so-ironically justified as some kind of virtue?
We have to walk a line. On the one side is Pharisaical insistence on rules and adherence to all sorts of measures that somehow show physical proof of our spiritual righteousness. Such hypocrisy is abominable to God; it seems to me that the only people toward whom the mortal Jesus ever seemed to show anything approaching disgust or revulsion were those who displayed just that sort of hypocrisy. But on the other side is the universalist tendency to say, "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die...and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God." This sort of pooh-poohing of the commandments and teachings cannot be any less damnable than the previously mentioned hypocrisy.
The very first and most important gift that we as Saints are given is the gift of the Holy Ghost. Through that gift, we can—indeed, we must—learn to distinguish right from wrong and truth from error. If we depend on the Spirit, I don't think we'll have too much trouble finding the balance between the two extremes portrayed above. When we get off-track to the one side or the other, the Spirit will correct us. Until we've developed that spiritual maturity, it behooves us greatly to pay attention, follow the teachings, and be very strictly honest with ourselves about our efforts and motivations.
In any case, let's be slow to embrace mediocrity, and never try to justify it as some sort of holy thing. In this, I'm speaking to myself at least as much as to anyone else.

https://cracking-the-cryptic.web.app/sudoku/2QM8JHJ4HB
I'm not the world's biggest sudoku guy. In fact, I rarely do sudokus. But I stumbled across a YouTube video that featured someone solving this sudoku, which, let's face it, is extraordinarily cool. You are given only four digits to start, along with three additional rules:
1. The major diagonals are 123456789 (not in order, just that they include all the digits, just like rows and columns)
2. The middle 3x3 square is a magic square (i.e. each of the rows, columns, and major diagonals adds up to the same amount)
3. There is a "knight's move" constraint which says that no digit can be a knight's move (L-shaped move, two boxes along a row or column and then one box perpendicular to that) away from itself.
I'm just amazed at some of the things people come up with. Very clever.

My life hasn’t changed much. I babysit my 4-year-old grandson. His parents still work full time, so I drive out to Eagle Mountain every morning, M thru F. The commute used to take me 30 to 35 minutes. Now it’s about 22 minutes. One morning it only took me 20 minutes. I shop when I need to. Don’t wear a mask, though I have ordered one. I do have cabin-fever, but I always get this way during the Spring. I want to get out into the outdoors. My husband and I, along with several of my siblings and their spouses, are going on a 4-wheel drive trip through some back-country in Southern Utah next week. I’m really looking forward to that! We checked the county restrictions, and the nonresident county restrictions have been lifted.

My entitled Karen complaints:
*My guitar lessons are currently on hold. (Yes, this older woman is trying to learn guitar.) I want to buy a new guitar and I’m feeling very frustrated because I can’t go into a guitar shop and try different guitars to see what I like best. I’m hoping the nonessential stores will open soon.
*I want to travel!!! I’m feeling deprived. I have flight benefits (retired airline employee), and not being able to travel is so frustrating! Even though I didn’t have any definite travel plans until September,  just knowing I can’t travel overseas is getting me down. Plus, I was hoping for a trip to Hawaii for our 39th anniversary. Doesn’t look like that will happen.
*I miss eating out. My husband and I don’t eat out that often, but on occasion it is a nice treat.
*I love the National Parks! Just knowing they are closed is hard! I want to go to Bryce and Zion. 

My life hasn’t changed much. I babysit my 4-year-old grandson. His parents still work full time, so I drive out to Eagle Mountain every morning, M thru F. The commute used to take me 30 to 35 minutes. Now it’s about 22 minutes. One morning it only took me 20 minutes. I shop when I need to. Don’t wear a mask, though I have ordered one. I do have cabin-fever, but I always get this way during the Spring. I want to get out into the outdoors. My husband and I, along with several of my siblings and their spouses, are going on a 4-wheel drive trip through some back-country in Southern Utah next week. I’m really looking forward to that! We checked the county restrictions, and the nonresident county restrictions have been lifted.

My entitled Karen complaints:
*My guitar lessons are currently on hold. (Yes, this older woman is trying to learn guitar.) I want to buy a new guitar and I’m feeling very frustrated because I can’t go into a guitar shop and try different guitars to see what I like best. I’m hoping the nonessential stores will open soon.
*I want to travel!!! I’m feeling deprived. I have flight benefits (retired airline employee), and not being able to travel is so frustrating! Even though I didn’t have any definite travel plans until September,  just knowing I can’t travel overseas is getting me down. Plus, I was hoping for a trip to Hawaii for our 39th anniversary. Doesn’t look like that will happen.
*I miss eating out. My husband and I don’t eat out that often, but on occasion it is a nice treat.
*I love the National Parks! Just knowing they are closed is hard! I want to go to Bryce and Zion. 

I took some time to read the whole article.  I'd like to explore in more detail the six tenets mentioned in the article and see what is going on with the Latter-day Saints to see if there is any parallel or comparison/contrast.
1. Order. Our hierarchy and lay leadership chain of command and even ward level organizations are pretty organized.  Sure there are exceptions, especially where the wards/branches are unusually small or inexperienced.  But that happens with similar circumstances in any organization.  What I appreciate, though, is that there is a centralized system of beliefs.  Most faiths of our size do not have that.  
2. Prayer and work. Prayer and scripture study are the hallmarks of active Latter-day Saints.  And WORK has been called "The Crowning Principle of the Gospel."  See Pres. Benson's statement on work and missionary work. Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.
3. Stability. Even through the death of the "founding prophet", we continued. And we continue to grow.  
4. Community.  I know most of the time we truly try.  But things have changed since I was a kid.  I tend to believe it is modern life that has brought about such change.  Too many people on social media and working all the time don't know how to socialize or be a part of a larger community anymore.  That's not just us.  It seems to be everyone.  But one thing still happens that says we're part of a larger community.  Whenever I meet someone new that is LDS in some non-Church setting, we become fast friends.  That still happens.
5. Hospitality.  Per the definition given, I think we're "fair-to-middlin'."  But we could do a lot better.  However, I'm going to make an excuse for not doing better.  Accept it or reject it, I don't care.  It's just "a feeling" for me right now.  There is a winnowing going on.  Regardless of how much someone does as far as the mechanics of the Church, the faith and conversion to Christ are much more important.  One would hope that such faith and conversion would lead one to do more work -- and I think it does to a decent degree. 
What is sad is that I've noticed more and more people actually "doing their duty" but never really being converted.  I find this sad.  On the other hand, I've also seen people with the "All's well in Zion" attitude that prevents them from doing their duty even when they believe they are converted.  Perhaps both are being winnowed.
6. Balance.  I like the description the article gives for this.  From an outsider's perspective, being led by a single figure is terrible.  But being led by a
"True Prophet of God" (TM)
is actually the best way to maintain balance.  Only the Lord can remind us when we've gone too far from center.  And per Amos 3:7, that is going to be through a living prophet.  Man alone will never be able to judge properly when we've gone too far one way or another.  Only a prophet can tell in what aspects it is ok to "change with the times" and what aspects must remain immovable.

https://thirdhour.org/blog/faith/angels-in-stone-married-baptized-same-day/
Looks like it was published just today. Kandyce and Bob Ciarrocchi (now there's an awesome Italian name!) sound like wonderful people. I'm so happy for them! I hope I and my family can keep some of this pure enthusiasm in our religious lives every day.

I have a spare back yard if you need more room to plant  

I try to do a garden of some sort every year, but I don’t have much of a green thumb. So, my gardens have been haphazard and some years successful and other years not so much. Our soil is very rocky and so we have switched to container/box gardening. I’m getting older with a bad knee and don’t have the strength or energy I used to have, so container gardening works for me.
One crop I plant every year is radishes. I don’t particularly love radishes, but they only take about 25 days to mature. They are easy to plant, and easy to care for and it’s exciting to get results within such a short time frame. It helps me feel like I’m a successful gardener.
My minimal garden every year includes radishes, turnips (personal favorite of mine when fresh and small), tomatoes, zucchini, carrots, and crook neck squash. On years when I feel like I can handle a larger garden I add  bell peppers, corn, green beans, peas, cucumbers, pumpkins, egg plant, broccoli, lettuce, and cabbage to my minimum garden. I often try strawberries and different melons, but don’t seem to have much success with them. 

Since the recall of missionaries seemed to drive the OP, I thought I would give an update on my church's missions status. I know that "gentile" is a word used in LDS circles to describe non-LDS. So, here's how one such group is doing during COVID19. Ironically, it is our world missions director who got the virus. He's fighting for his life, but seems to have taken a turn for the better. So, our website had regular updates on his condition. Many of our missionaries are restricted in travel, and for some that means not being able to be on the field. However, with a missions force just under 2,000 full-time, it appears most remain on site, doing evangelism (much like LDS missionaries do), leading churches, teaching at Bible colleges, etc. I suspect most religious organizations are in a season where personal devotion, individual spiritual disciplines (prayer, fasting, etc.) have become more important as whole-group meetings remain suspended. Perhaps, once this virus is in the rearview mirror, we will come to realize just how important the unseen spiritual work we do is.  

Since I am a stepmother I have done a lot of studying on second marriages and step-parenting. There is a high divorce rate of 2nd marriages when children are involved. I think about 67 %. Even though you and your fiancé love each other, your children may not love her or ever grow to love her.  Whereas, the stepparent usually makes a conscious choice to love the stepchildren, the stepchildren usually do not make that choice. There are almost always loyalty issues for the children involved. That in turn may cause relationship problems between the married couple. The stepparent often feels marginalized and can feel like they will never be number one in their spouses life. It is a very difficult relationship!!! Most stepparents have no idea how difficult it will be before getting married.  Premarital counseling may be a good idea, not only for you and your fiancé, but also for the children.
I have also been a stepchild. My mother remarried about 6 years after my father died. I did not like my stepfather! Looking back, now as an adult, I can see that he wasn’t such a bad guy, but I was a young teen, and there was no way that I was going to accept him. And, I admit, that I (nor my younger siblings) made it easy for him and that in turn made it hard for my mother. Their marriage lasted less than six months. 
 
I was at a meeting with Dallin H. Oaks, and he mentioned that he did not start dating after his wife passed away until all his children were on board with it. I believe he said one of his daughters had a more difficult time with the issue, and he waited until she was also okay with him dating/remarrying. Because, all the children were accepting, the step-parenting issues were at a minimum. 
 
I hope you and your family can find peace as you find answers together as a family.