I'm in a position of starting my life again. I was married the first time for 20 years. We both decided that it would be best if we were to divorce. Neither one of us were members of the church.
I remarried a member of the church, and was baptized shortly thereafter. However after 3 years and one child together she was being investigated for child abuse on so many different levels. We were in the process of moving across country, I had landed a great job in the east and she has decided to stay on the west coast. Mostly because of the help she can get from medical community where she is.
Because of the safety issue with the baby, we have separated and now I find myself being served divorce papers.
After so many years of being with someone, I find myself a single dad with an 18 month old. I have plenty of support thru my church family and its all working out well, and after much pondering (in the temple and out) I feel that I'm doing the best for my baby.
I find myself wondering how should I start over? I feel the pressure of finding someone else every Sunday when I see families sitting together. Since the church is mostly made up of families, so it makes it hard to fit in.
I'm not ready for any relationship more in-depth than being friends and I'm not looking for a wife for myself, or a mother for my baby.
I prayed a lot about it and I know there are some things I will need to do for myself in order to keep going, but I would have to admit that my nights are lonely and I look forward to adult contact.