coopadoo

My ex-husband was not on his mission, but was in the military. I waited for him. However, after he was back, we both found that we were just not compatible. He changed, and I changed during those years. A factor in that was that we were both off in different parts of the world, having different experiences, and doing different things, which helped shaped us. Looking back at all the pain our break-up and divorce caused, I think that so much would have been different if we had just said "goodbye" then. After all, if we were "meant to be," we could have found each other after his return.

Oh, and also... If you find that you don't want to after all, then don't have them! It is a demanding job, so only do it if you WANT to do it. Not because you feel that you should. My grandmother never wanted children, and she had nine because "that's what a woman did back then." (She is not a church member.) Growing up, my mother and her siblings always felt her resentment. No beautiful child deserves that, so if you don't choose to have children, then you don't. Either way, you're not wrong.

I was you! Since I was in junior high, I repeatedly said that I did not want children. I didn't want to get fat. I didn't want to go through the pain of childbirth. I didn't want to go through the terrible twos. I thought children were gross. (I am not naturally a person that enjoys children.) I was told my entire life that children were "a burden." Then I went for it. Childbirth was not even a problem. I would go through it again anytime! I still don't really like children too much, and I AM NOT the soccer-mom type, but my two boys love me, and I love them more than I could ever love another person. Not that sometimes I don't think, "Oh, if I'd never had children, I could be doing (fill in the blank...)" But they have given me more sweetness and love than I've received from anyone else in my life. My two boys truly are a BLESSING! You never know. Once you find someone that you love and want to marry, you may feel different.

Yes.

I'm a convert, too. Sometimes I feel that I'm inadequate because I don't have the background of some members who have been in the church since birth. I understand what you're feeling. There are so many times when I think, "Well, maybe I would be better if I had been baptized when I was eight and did all the rites of passage that others have." (I joined when I was 25.) I have read anti-Mormon literature too, and it has left me feeling shaken at times. Don't do that. The Adversary has many manipulative tricks up his sleeve, and those are just part of it. Pray. It's hard, but do it. I'm the same way. Prayer is hard for me, but it helps. You will find that you are spiritually stronger than you thought you were.

Not if said sincerely, and that's the main thing. Remember Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' little display. Yeah, a little too much.

Just relax and be yourself.

That is a classy guy! If he is like that, honey, he did you a favor!

Please don't be too detailed! My ex-husband cheated on me, and the first time I found out, I asked a ton of questions, which he answered truthfully, and knowing all that stuff just about killed me. You can't get certain things out of your head once you know! Be honest with her. She is going to FLIP out! Believe you me! But she needs to know. You cannot say that you are truly sorry if you are hiding it. Being unfaithful was a selfish act. Continuing to hide it is a selfish act. As much as I hate to say, you made your bed... you know the rest. She may leave you. She may give you another chance. You need to be honest because that choice is her right, not yours. I hope it all works out for your family.

Bishop or his counselors. They'll handle the rest. Or you could mail it in if you're not going to be there to turn it in personally.