yjacket

Lol . .. well now . .. .  Boy if this isn't the typical, petulant millennial response.  My 9 year-old gives a better response.
Note: the above isn't judgement, it's an observation.
Another observation: I have found in my life that those who complain about others judging them are almost always the worst offenders themselves.
Do you have kids?
(This is judgement)
Exhibit A of why this country is going down.  You see in the modern day approach, no-one can tell you you are wrong, b/c if you tell someone they are wrong you are "judging". This is the typical BS moral relativism mantra that has infested and indoctrinated this land.  Sick, sick, sick.
If you don't like what someone says, the correct response is STTE  . . .hmm, that's interesting, I don't agree with it but I respect your opinion.  Nope, not today. It's WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE ME!!!!!!! DON'T TELL ME ABOUT MY FAULTS!!!!
I simply make a comment that you are the one who is disregarding scripture you don't like.  If it doesn't fit with your notion of what the world should look like-you discard it and then tell anyone who is telling you that you are fitting the scriptures to match your own notion that they are judging you.

We are commanded to judge. Unless you are a part of this moral relativism group-God tells us we should judge.
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/08/judge-not-and-judging?lang=eng
 
24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
1 Now these are the words which Jesus taught his disciples that they should say unto the people.
2 Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgment.
---------------------
Dude . . . grow up.  

Actually, you never know . . .the bishop might just give the non-widowed sister a new calling, something like compassionate service leader or the like and then part of her church responsibility would be the care of the widows.
Besides the youth, one of the main responsibilities of Bishops to care for their flock, especially the poor, sick, the needy, the widows.
Jame 1:27
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

As much as men get castigated in today's society it ends up being the woman more often than not that initiates the divorce . . .something like over 70% of divorces are initiated by women.  Society has "liberated" women so much that a commitment and a vow means squat.

I'm going to do something that very few individuals will say in our Nationalist country.I truly am terribly sorry for what you went through. The horrors that you went through and the things you experienced should never be experienced by a human being.
I am terribly sorry that you had to travel some 7000 miles away to some God forsaken land to participate in a stupid meaningless war, not "defending our freedoms", but in an idiotic mindless political game. That the root of these wars is the US's meddling in other countries affairs for the past 60 years.
I have a brother who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan, he still doesn't talk much about it. Thankfully, he somehow made it through okay (and I say that only that he doesn't have any major outward scars). He mentioned to me once that the reason he went to Afghanistan was that after Iraq he felt he had to go to help protect his brothers -- forget all the patriotic crap, when it hits the fan, it's about those beside you.
I don't know what the answer is . . . I believe (from what you've written) that you are a tortured soul trying to find relief. No one, will be able to quite understand the pain and suffering you've gone through, except One . . . Jesus Christ. The Atonement covers much more than our sins. It is our path to Peace. At-one-ment, at one with ourselves, with our fellow men, and with God.
This much I do know, whatever emotional scars you have in your life-- you will have to deal with them and resolve them and you will have to keep resolving them. It is a long hard road. If one papers over the emotional scars, one will never truly be at peace and living the life that our Heavenly Father wants us to lead. It may take a while to be able to deal with the emotional damage . . .
I can promise you that as you seek to understand more of the Master you will find more peace in your life. He is more compassionate than we can possibly imagine . . .
The two greatest commandments:
Love the Lord thy God
Love your neighbor.
May you find the peace you are striving for and need.

First off I would say to just chill.  The world isn't going to end in the next hour, day or week.  No matter how bad this seems-it too shall pass.  So take a big deep breath. If you need to release some energy, go to the gym and workout go for a run, go do your favorite hobby, etc. Do something to get your mind off of this for a bit.  
Now, there is a lot here so just calm down before it being addressed. So I'm going to approach this trying to give you a different perspective.  A possible perspective of your wife, it doesn't mean you or I agree with it-but an essential part of life is understanding another's point of view even when we don't agree with what they do. You've been together for 6 years, so that means basically since the time she was mature enough to date (~17) -you are the only man she has ever really got to know.  IMO it would not be a shock that after getting married she questions if she made the right decision (I don't have to agree with it to say that it doesn't surprise me or even that in some cases it might be a given). Especially if things have been a little rough.
Now you are both young and immature (why people use snapchat, I'll never know). Technology especially in a marriage can be a very dangerous thing.  It is way, way too easy in today's society for people to communicate with former Facebook flames, random strangers, etc. on the internet.  Even if one has a good moral standing-most of the rest of the world doesn't-so it is very easy to find someone to talk to during a rough period of time in a marriage.  That initial "innocent friend" or stranger can easily lead to something not innocent if one is not careful.
Now first off you stated that you worry that she will cheat or lie. The interesting thing about people and our expectations is that much of the time people will end up conforming to them.  If you think she will cheat or lie, then any instance in your mind that could be cheating will instantly be converted into is cheating.  So the first thing you must do if you want to save your marriage is to banish this idea that she will cheat or lie (you are unfairly setting her up to fail by doing that).
Now, unless you actually have a text or an e-mail from her to this man stating she would like a picture then all you have is a he said she said.  You wife says she didn't ask for it. He says she did.  If you have an initial approach that your wife lies about it-you will automatically assume she is lying about this. However, why would the dude lie?  Think about it.  If you just sent some random chick (or even some girl you barely met) a porno picture and this girls husband asks you about it, what would you say?  Obviously, you would say . . .well she wanted it and you would obviously say she said she wasn't married.  You are going to do everything you can to absolve yourself of any improper behavior . . .why??
Well, b/c if some random dude sent my wife a porno picture, there is a high likelihood I'm gonna be opening a can of youknowwhat on him!!!! 
So you can't trust what this random dude said, period, end of story.  You admit you're wife never opened the Snapchat, so it absolutely is plausible that your wife never solicited this from him and doesn't know him or barely knows him. It is possible your wife is telling the truth.  Unless there is further evidence you should give her the benefit of the doubt.
So what should you do.  You're wife may be cheating, but she may not be cheating . . . but if she isn't cheating this type of behavior could certainly drive her to cheating.
If you want to save your marriage, you really need to re-think your approach.
Unless there is more to this story, I would apologize profusely to me wife, admit what I did was wrong, stupid, that I should trust her more.  I would then say that as part of this we should both be more open about our technology use to each other.  That she should have come to you about this picture 1st, that by not being fully open with you it breeds mistrust, that you and her need to be more fully open about your communications with other individuals.
Now if you have other texts, or e-mails or snapchats of her seeking this type of stuff-that's a different ballgame.  But unless and until then, take this as a wake-up call that all is not right in your marriage and that if you don't drastically change the way both you and her approach it, bad things could happen.

In a similar vein:https://heatst.com/culture-wars/women-only-spa-labled-transphobic-over-its-no-male-genitals-policy/
I can't wait for all this junk to stop, people finally stand up and say enough!  I'm probably one of the most libertarian individuals out there. If you want to believe you are a squirrel; if you want to be homosexual, claim it is your destiny to mate with your own kind-be my guest, I've got no problem with you believing whatever fantasy you want to.  
But I draw the line when you tell me that I must acquiesce to your reality and that if I don't-I'm the evil person.   It's really quite sad at how many people just simply follow the crowd on this stuff.  They are what Lenin described as the "useful idiots" who don't really know what they are doing except that they are putting pressure on the system.
It's a war promulgated by evil men who have evil designs influenced by evil spirits.  The word for it in the modern day culture is "postmodernism" or post-modern philosophy.  It is the thought and theory that truth is relative, truth is not objective and that anyone who doesn't believe in your truth is a bad person. It's a really bad thing and it's what is being taught in schools-truth is relative.
Just project out 30 years .  .where does this lead? To what end? If it is this bad now for individuals who defend truth (as given to us by scriptures and prophets), how much more worse is it going to get?  
It's gonna get interesting in my lifetime that's for sure!
Personally, I believe it all started with acceptance of homosexual behavior as totally acceptable.  We still don't know to this day why some people have homosexual behaviors and tendencies; all we know is that God has commanded us to put off the natural man (whatever natural tendencies we have) and to become like Him and He has promised us that it is possible to do so.
This idea that we are perfect "just the way we are" is utter and absolute horse doogy and is probably more destructive to the Gospel message than anything else.  No, we are not perfect "just the way we are", we are sinful (i.e. non-perfect), fallen sons and daughters of God who have the potential to become perfect as we change our very nature to align to God's Will.

Actually, I think it's pretty simple.  You tell them they are wrong.  The Gospel has a couple of principle's when it comes to authority.  
Revelation that one receives that is contrary to what has been revealed to the Prophets is almost always wrong . . .or if it is not wrong should almost always be kept silent.  Maybe one day they can be a Prophet, then they can make that claim . . .or they can start their own church-unless and until then quite simply they are wrong and are in need of repentance.  If they don't repent, they will be in the grasp of the Adversary.
Pretty easy, pretty plain, and pretty simple.

I sware (sic) . . . what is wrong with kids these days.  I have a relative who's daughter decided it was okay to stand up in F&T and call out all the kids in the ward who were being mean, ugly, etc.  Thankfully, her dad is a good guy-he actually went up on the stand and pulled her off . . .bravo Dad!, bravo!
I really believe it goes back to how our culture treats children.  We have brainwashed ourselves into treating children like adults, instead of treating them like children! Therefore, a significant portion of children these days have absolutely 0 fear of adults. I don't mean fear in a bad way, just that when I was growing up (dang, I feel old and I'm really not that old!!), you rightfully were afraid of what the teacher would do if you did something bad, what your dad would do when you did something bad, and you didn't want to do anything that would embarrass your parents b/c if you did-you were gonna get it too!
You looked up to and revered adults, now every 12 year-old girl thinks she is an adult with the capacity to make such life changing decisions as this.  Despicable the world we have created.
And it starts so little-allow a child 5,6,9, the ability to interrupt his parents any time he pleases or rule the roost and this is exactly what happens.

In a similar vein:https://heatst.com/culture-wars/women-only-spa-labled-transphobic-over-its-no-male-genitals-policy/
I can't wait for all this junk to stop, people finally stand up and say enough!  I'm probably one of the most libertarian individuals out there. If you want to believe you are a squirrel; if you want to be homosexual, claim it is your destiny to mate with your own kind-be my guest, I've got no problem with you believing whatever fantasy you want to.  
But I draw the line when you tell me that I must acquiesce to your reality and that if I don't-I'm the evil person.   It's really quite sad at how many people just simply follow the crowd on this stuff.  They are what Lenin described as the "useful idiots" who don't really know what they are doing except that they are putting pressure on the system.
It's a war promulgated by evil men who have evil designs influenced by evil spirits.  The word for it in the modern day culture is "postmodernism" or post-modern philosophy.  It is the thought and theory that truth is relative, truth is not objective and that anyone who doesn't believe in your truth is a bad person. It's a really bad thing and it's what is being taught in schools-truth is relative.
Just project out 30 years .  .where does this lead? To what end? If it is this bad now for individuals who defend truth (as given to us by scriptures and prophets), how much more worse is it going to get?  
It's gonna get interesting in my lifetime that's for sure!
Personally, I believe it all started with acceptance of homosexual behavior as totally acceptable.  We still don't know to this day why some people have homosexual behaviors and tendencies; all we know is that God has commanded us to put off the natural man (whatever natural tendencies we have) and to become like Him and He has promised us that it is possible to do so.
This idea that we are perfect "just the way we are" is utter and absolute horse doogy and is probably more destructive to the Gospel message than anything else.  No, we are not perfect "just the way we are", we are sinful (i.e. non-perfect), fallen sons and daughters of God who have the potential to become perfect as we change our very nature to align to God's Will.

Actually, I think it's pretty simple.  You tell them they are wrong.  The Gospel has a couple of principle's when it comes to authority.  
Revelation that one receives that is contrary to what has been revealed to the Prophets is almost always wrong . . .or if it is not wrong should almost always be kept silent.  Maybe one day they can be a Prophet, then they can make that claim . . .or they can start their own church-unless and until then quite simply they are wrong and are in need of repentance.  If they don't repent, they will be in the grasp of the Adversary.
Pretty easy, pretty plain, and pretty simple.

How very, very sad. I don't know your circumstances, but I do feel that in general as a society we have seriously messed up our family priorities.
Society teaches that the fathers and mothers must be constantly involved in their children's lives. That if parents aren't taking kids to soccer practice, club meetings, etc. they are being a bad parent.  I have learned that it is really the opposite.  The absolute best thing a father and mother can do for their children is to make their relationship; the husband/wife relationship the #1 relationship.  Nothing in the family is more important then that relationship. Children should not be allowed to interrupt or come between the husband/wife relationship. The marriage existed prior to children and should exist after children and as such it should always be the #1 focus.
Too many husbands and too many wives put their role as husband/wife aside when children come and become father/mother 1st rather than husband/wife 1st. If a wife always puts on her role as wife 1st, i.e. her husbands needs are met prior to anyone else's needs and if a husband always puts his role as husband 1st (her needs are met before anyone else's) then there would be no need for divorce.
The challenge in the modern age is that many years ago, husbands implicitly understood what their role was (provider/leader/head) and wives implicitly understood their role (nurturer/supporter/heart) and today husbands and wives can't seem to figure out what their role is except that "love" will conquer all. When people don't know what their role is or when they compete on roles then everything just falls down.
I wish you the best of luck and use this as a learning experience. 

I sware (sic) . . . what is wrong with kids these days.  I have a relative who's daughter decided it was okay to stand up in F&T and call out all the kids in the ward who were being mean, ugly, etc.  Thankfully, her dad is a good guy-he actually went up on the stand and pulled her off . . .bravo Dad!, bravo!
I really believe it goes back to how our culture treats children.  We have brainwashed ourselves into treating children like adults, instead of treating them like children! Therefore, a significant portion of children these days have absolutely 0 fear of adults. I don't mean fear in a bad way, just that when I was growing up (dang, I feel old and I'm really not that old!!), you rightfully were afraid of what the teacher would do if you did something bad, what your dad would do when you did something bad, and you didn't want to do anything that would embarrass your parents b/c if you did-you were gonna get it too!
You looked up to and revered adults, now every 12 year-old girl thinks she is an adult with the capacity to make such life changing decisions as this.  Despicable the world we have created.
And it starts so little-allow a child 5,6,9, the ability to interrupt his parents any time he pleases or rule the roost and this is exactly what happens.

Hmm . . .that is weird why you dad would have been so upset.  I honestly don't understand.  Your brother was an Elder (i.e. holds the Melchizedek Priesthood) and can thus participate in and be the voice in any normal priesthood functions (blessings, namings, baptisms, etc.).
Endowment and utilizing the Melchizedek Priesthood are separate things. One must be a MP holder to receive their endowment, but one doesn't need their endowment to officiate in MP ordinances that do not involve temple ordinances i.e. stuff like blessings, namings, baptisms, etc.
The only thing that would disqualify someone from participating who held the MP would be worthiness issues."In conformity with this revelation, only worthy men who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood may participate in naming and blessing children." https://www.lds.org/manual/family-guidebook/priesthood-ordinances-and-blessings?lang=eng
Now sometimes, what wards will do is to allow someone who is not worthy to hold the microphone for the blessing, they aren't a part of the circle but they help.
So in my mind one of two things occurred.  Either you dad for some reason thought your brother was still unworthy or he was wrong.  If your brother was still unworthy then your dad would have just cause to be upset.  So the question is what did your dad know?  He was ward clerk, did he have some information that lead him to believe your brother was unworthy?  
I believe that formal probation is annotated on your membership record and then removed once the probation is lifted.  Is it possible that your dad honestly thought your brother was still under formal probation and your brother honestly thought he was good to go? But then again worthiness is between the individual, the Lord and the Bishop.  
I don't see how your dad would enter into this, unless he knew that your brother was lying about being worthy???
I just can't see any other way to reconcile the differences-your dad had/has to know that as long as one has repented and is worthy to take the sacrament then one can participate in priesthood blessings.

I sware (sic) . . . what is wrong with kids these days.  I have a relative who's daughter decided it was okay to stand up in F&T and call out all the kids in the ward who were being mean, ugly, etc.  Thankfully, her dad is a good guy-he actually went up on the stand and pulled her off . . .bravo Dad!, bravo!
I really believe it goes back to how our culture treats children.  We have brainwashed ourselves into treating children like adults, instead of treating them like children! Therefore, a significant portion of children these days have absolutely 0 fear of adults. I don't mean fear in a bad way, just that when I was growing up (dang, I feel old and I'm really not that old!!), you rightfully were afraid of what the teacher would do if you did something bad, what your dad would do when you did something bad, and you didn't want to do anything that would embarrass your parents b/c if you did-you were gonna get it too!
You looked up to and revered adults, now every 12 year-old girl thinks she is an adult with the capacity to make such life changing decisions as this.  Despicable the world we have created.
And it starts so little-allow a child 5,6,9, the ability to interrupt his parents any time he pleases or rule the roost and this is exactly what happens.

In a similar vein:https://heatst.com/culture-wars/women-only-spa-labled-transphobic-over-its-no-male-genitals-policy/
I can't wait for all this junk to stop, people finally stand up and say enough!  I'm probably one of the most libertarian individuals out there. If you want to believe you are a squirrel; if you want to be homosexual, claim it is your destiny to mate with your own kind-be my guest, I've got no problem with you believing whatever fantasy you want to.  
But I draw the line when you tell me that I must acquiesce to your reality and that if I don't-I'm the evil person.   It's really quite sad at how many people just simply follow the crowd on this stuff.  They are what Lenin described as the "useful idiots" who don't really know what they are doing except that they are putting pressure on the system.
It's a war promulgated by evil men who have evil designs influenced by evil spirits.  The word for it in the modern day culture is "postmodernism" or post-modern philosophy.  It is the thought and theory that truth is relative, truth is not objective and that anyone who doesn't believe in your truth is a bad person. It's a really bad thing and it's what is being taught in schools-truth is relative.
Just project out 30 years .  .where does this lead? To what end? If it is this bad now for individuals who defend truth (as given to us by scriptures and prophets), how much more worse is it going to get?  
It's gonna get interesting in my lifetime that's for sure!
Personally, I believe it all started with acceptance of homosexual behavior as totally acceptable.  We still don't know to this day why some people have homosexual behaviors and tendencies; all we know is that God has commanded us to put off the natural man (whatever natural tendencies we have) and to become like Him and He has promised us that it is possible to do so.
This idea that we are perfect "just the way we are" is utter and absolute horse doogy and is probably more destructive to the Gospel message than anything else.  No, we are not perfect "just the way we are", we are sinful (i.e. non-perfect), fallen sons and daughters of God who have the potential to become perfect as we change our very nature to align to God's Will.

I totally get it . . .and that's why maybe the older I've gotten the more "bold" I've gotten . . .mostly b/c of a couple principles of leadership I've learned.  
The older that I've gotten the more that I have realized how people recognize authority and why they do and ultimately it comes from two sources, the first and most important comes from being in a position that is rightfully given that authority, i.e. a parent or a teacher, or a bishop, etc.  Some positions of authority come from a calling and some are natural (like being a father). So some people recognize others authority simply b/c of the position they are in.
The second is by how the authority figure acts and talks.  If an authority figure does not "act" the part-he will quickly lose the respect of those he leads.  Note, "acting" the part doesn't mean one is dictatorial or authoritarian; it means one is authoritative. In other words, when a decision needs to be made, the authority figure acts quickly, decisively, without hesitation and without remorse, and acts like he is in charge . . .well b/c he is.
The same principle applies when leading children (which is what parents are really doing) as to when leading men; be direct, concise and use as few as words as possible.  As a teacher, or a Bishop, or in any leadership position, knowing the bounds of the authority is important.  For a teacher, it is critical that correct doctrine be taught-so that means a) knowing when incorrect doctrine is being taught and then b) moving decisively to correct that incorrect doctrine.  For some reason in today's society, people seem to think that correcting involves someone being "mean" and it is a common retort of those who are being corrected . . .well he is just being "mean".  What they are really saying is, I don't like the fact that I'm being corrected on this point of doctrine.
And that is what is happening above.  Those who do not listen to, do not want to listen to and want to undermine the Bishop's authority proclaim him as being a "mean, nasty, hurtful" man.  
What they are really saying and meaning (coached in veiled words) is "I reject the Bishop's or Stake President's authority".  And anyone who follows that line of thinking needs to be real careful b/c soon they might just find themselves on the outside of the Church.
It is one of the reason's why I will defend those who are in authority positions tooth and nail.  Leaders are not perfect, far from it, they make plenty of mistakes; but unless they have committed a grievous sin that would remove them from their position, it is my job as a faithful member to fully support them.  Just b/c I support them, doesn't mean I agree with all their decisions, I don't have to-but I fully recognize their legitimate authority and support them in the decisions they do make.
(sidenote and I don't want to sidetrack: whether or not people agree with him, this is the reason why Trump was elected . . .out of all the other candidates he was the one who possessed the greatest leadership qualities.  I disagree with plenty of Trump things, but you don't get to be the head of a billion dollar organization without being a very strong leader.  It is why he could get away with saying things that would normally absolutely bury anyone else)

I totally get it . . .and that's why maybe the older I've gotten the more "bold" I've gotten . . .mostly b/c of a couple principles of leadership I've learned.  
The older that I've gotten the more that I have realized how people recognize authority and why they do and ultimately it comes from two sources, the first and most important comes from being in a position that is rightfully given that authority, i.e. a parent or a teacher, or a bishop, etc.  Some positions of authority come from a calling and some are natural (like being a father). So some people recognize others authority simply b/c of the position they are in.
The second is by how the authority figure acts and talks.  If an authority figure does not "act" the part-he will quickly lose the respect of those he leads.  Note, "acting" the part doesn't mean one is dictatorial or authoritarian; it means one is authoritative. In other words, when a decision needs to be made, the authority figure acts quickly, decisively, without hesitation and without remorse, and acts like he is in charge . . .well b/c he is.
The same principle applies when leading children (which is what parents are really doing) as to when leading men; be direct, concise and use as few as words as possible.  As a teacher, or a Bishop, or in any leadership position, knowing the bounds of the authority is important.  For a teacher, it is critical that correct doctrine be taught-so that means a) knowing when incorrect doctrine is being taught and then b) moving decisively to correct that incorrect doctrine.  For some reason in today's society, people seem to think that correcting involves someone being "mean" and it is a common retort of those who are being corrected . . .well he is just being "mean".  What they are really saying is, I don't like the fact that I'm being corrected on this point of doctrine.
And that is what is happening above.  Those who do not listen to, do not want to listen to and want to undermine the Bishop's authority proclaim him as being a "mean, nasty, hurtful" man.  
What they are really saying and meaning (coached in veiled words) is "I reject the Bishop's or Stake President's authority".  And anyone who follows that line of thinking needs to be real careful b/c soon they might just find themselves on the outside of the Church.
It is one of the reason's why I will defend those who are in authority positions tooth and nail.  Leaders are not perfect, far from it, they make plenty of mistakes; but unless they have committed a grievous sin that would remove them from their position, it is my job as a faithful member to fully support them.  Just b/c I support them, doesn't mean I agree with all their decisions, I don't have to-but I fully recognize their legitimate authority and support them in the decisions they do make.
(sidenote and I don't want to sidetrack: whether or not people agree with him, this is the reason why Trump was elected . . .out of all the other candidates he was the one who possessed the greatest leadership qualities.  I disagree with plenty of Trump things, but you don't get to be the head of a billion dollar organization without being a very strong leader.  It is why he could get away with saying things that would normally absolutely bury anyone else)

I sware (sic) . . . what is wrong with kids these days.  I have a relative who's daughter decided it was okay to stand up in F&T and call out all the kids in the ward who were being mean, ugly, etc.  Thankfully, her dad is a good guy-he actually went up on the stand and pulled her off . . .bravo Dad!, bravo!
I really believe it goes back to how our culture treats children.  We have brainwashed ourselves into treating children like adults, instead of treating them like children! Therefore, a significant portion of children these days have absolutely 0 fear of adults. I don't mean fear in a bad way, just that when I was growing up (dang, I feel old and I'm really not that old!!), you rightfully were afraid of what the teacher would do if you did something bad, what your dad would do when you did something bad, and you didn't want to do anything that would embarrass your parents b/c if you did-you were gonna get it too!
You looked up to and revered adults, now every 12 year-old girl thinks she is an adult with the capacity to make such life changing decisions as this.  Despicable the world we have created.
And it starts so little-allow a child 5,6,9, the ability to interrupt his parents any time he pleases or rule the roost and this is exactly what happens.

FairMormon did a good job with this.
I've watched this incident for the last week.  I feel sorry for the girl turning her life into a publicity stunt.   But I'd rather not belabor the point on this board. 

Hmm . . .that is weird why you dad would have been so upset.  I honestly don't understand.  Your brother was an Elder (i.e. holds the Melchizedek Priesthood) and can thus participate in and be the voice in any normal priesthood functions (blessings, namings, baptisms, etc.).
Endowment and utilizing the Melchizedek Priesthood are separate things. One must be a MP holder to receive their endowment, but one doesn't need their endowment to officiate in MP ordinances that do not involve temple ordinances i.e. stuff like blessings, namings, baptisms, etc.
The only thing that would disqualify someone from participating who held the MP would be worthiness issues."In conformity with this revelation, only worthy men who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood may participate in naming and blessing children." https://www.lds.org/manual/family-guidebook/priesthood-ordinances-and-blessings?lang=eng
Now sometimes, what wards will do is to allow someone who is not worthy to hold the microphone for the blessing, they aren't a part of the circle but they help.
So in my mind one of two things occurred.  Either you dad for some reason thought your brother was still unworthy or he was wrong.  If your brother was still unworthy then your dad would have just cause to be upset.  So the question is what did your dad know?  He was ward clerk, did he have some information that lead him to believe your brother was unworthy?  
I believe that formal probation is annotated on your membership record and then removed once the probation is lifted.  Is it possible that your dad honestly thought your brother was still under formal probation and your brother honestly thought he was good to go? But then again worthiness is between the individual, the Lord and the Bishop.  
I don't see how your dad would enter into this, unless he knew that your brother was lying about being worthy???
I just can't see any other way to reconcile the differences-your dad had/has to know that as long as one has repented and is worthy to take the sacrament then one can participate in priesthood blessings.

Am I the only one who finds it mildly amusing self-contradictory to issue a proclamation against racism that specifically targets racism among members of a specific race?

If you aren't going on a mission,  then why worry about dating? If you aren't ready for a mission,  you most certainly are not ready for marriage.    Not even in 2 or 3 years.   If you decide go ahead and date, just remember this: you will marry someone whom you date.  If you date nonmembers, you will wind up marrying a nonmember and there is no guarantee she will join the church.   

And because of things I've heard and read, I will add: Don't ask if it is okay if you don't go, or if you can do good by staying home, or anything along those lines. Ask if staying home would be congruent with His will. Or ask if He wants you to serve a mission. Or ask for guidance to determine His plan for you.

Is LDS.net a dating service?  
If you want to know how to get dates, how to prepare for marriage, how to be strengthen yourself for marriage, etc. those are fair questions. Individuals have been giving you this advice (some in a nice way, others in a more stern way-like me:-) ).
I'm just really confused here.  Did you honestly expect to come onto a non-dating forum (to which you are a new member and no-one knows you), ask "hey does anyone know someone who would like to date me?" and someone pop up and say "oh yeah, my 3rd cousin is LDS and is looking for someone, I'll PM you her e-mail address and you guys can chat?"  
I hope not, b/c if you were I believe your hopes were misplaced.
There are plenty of dating sites in general and several LDS dating sites in specific.  If you can't find someone to date in your area, go to an LDS online dating site, but don't be surprised when the girls you'd like to date want to date RMs not someone who actively choosing not to serve a mission.
If you want to know why serving a mission is so important as a selector for marriage material-we can have that discussion.  But I don't believe you want to have that discussion-you have chosen not to serve and are now upset that you can't seem to find anyone to date, are complaining about it and then you get upset when you are called on it and they say "what else did you expect?"
I'm curious here.  
Have you ever sat down, had an honest conversation with your Heavenly Father about serving a mission?  Have you been willing to submit your will to His no matter what He instructs you to do?  Have you prayed to find out if God wants you to serve a mission?

Yep.  As a Church we can always finesse and improve the way we teach kids (and adults) to engage with the scriptures, I think; but fundamentally and with relatively few exceptions--either people are studying their scriptures, or they aren't; and generally speaking the former group are a lot less likely to be surprised/outraged at the Church's adoption of scriptural teachings and/or practices.
As we all know, when the Mormon leadership really wants to keep something a secret--they write it into the scriptures.