yjacket

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  1. Like
    yjacket reacted to The Folk Prophet in My Search   
    The problem, as should be obvious, is not God's church, but rather, Satan's influence on mankind. YM will always have their agency. There will always be some of them who choose to disregard, explain away, ignore, or otherwise disengage from church teachings. The teachings are perfectly sufficient.
    And...more importantly, the real job of teaching these things rests with the parents, who hold the penultimate responsibility for the failure (the ultimate responsibility being on the individual, of course).
  2. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Vort in My Search   
    On a serious note.
    I was listening to Mark 10 earlier this week.
    --------
     17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?
    18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
    19 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
    20 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.
    21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
    22 And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.
    -------
    One of the absolute hardest things to do in life is to bend our will to God's will.  I find in general in my life, most of the time my will aligns with His (I'd like to think that's b/c of how I was raised).  But every now and then, my will does not align with His.  Learning to be completely willing and humbly enough to submit to God all things that He would have us do or go through is a very tough thing in life.  The older I've gotten, the more that I have come to learn about this principle.
    Submitting to all things God has commanded me to do . . .whether He speaks to me in prayer, in scripture, or by the voice of His servants (Bishops, Apostles, Prophets) . . .learning to be humble, meek and 100% willing to do His will . . .it is very, very hard.  And something that I think takes a lifetime to master.
  3. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Vort in My Search   
    Typical millennial claptrap.  
    No ifs,and, or buts, for a young priesthood holder, mission service is a duty and and obligation.
    So basically what you are saying is: you want to do what you want to do (i.e. not serving a mission), you want to get married, you understand in general LDS girls don't seriously date non-members or RMs.  But you feel you are special and the girl you date/marry is going to be so much more spiritual b/c she sees you based upon your personal testimony and you don't want to lower your standards.
    Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too!!  You are very funny.  I've got news for you based upon what you are currently saying, any stalwart LDS girl would be lowering her standards to marry you. No wonder you can't find anyone to date!
    The 2nd bold portion is hilarious . . .another typical millennial claptrap reasoning of everyone is a STAR!!!  Look at me, I didn't serve a mission, not b/c I couldn't but b/c I choose not too and no one should hold me back b/c of it.
    Hey kid.  Lesson #1 in life.  The world does not revolve around you, nor does it revolve around what you want-in fact it could care less about what you want in life.  
    If you don't want to serve a mission, that's fine.  You just need to accept the realities and consequences of what that means.  Instead of pouting that "no one should hold you back" . . .really??? I've never seen another LDS member who didn't serve a mission be actively held back (i.e. no one says, welp nope you can't serve as EQP b/c you didn't serve a mission . .. how ridiculous).  What I have seen is that b/c of their choices, they held themselves back. And there is a big, big difference.
    You don't want to serve a mission, cool.  But you need to accept the reality of what that will mean; which is that you will self-select out of the dating pool for many good LDS girls . . .and that is perfectly acceptable.  I will advise my girls to not seriously date boys who could have served but did not serve. If you accept that reality, cool, if not-well good luck kicking against the pricks.
    -------------
    A separate question is why should being an RM be a good qualifier for dating material.  Well, that is a separate answer, but suffice it to say-yes it is a very good selector.
  4. Like
    yjacket reacted to estradling75 in My Search   
    If you want to attract a Faithful young LDS lady you have to understand what they are looking for then either decide to adjust to their expectations or rule those ones out for a smaller subset that do not have such an expectation.
    Most Faithful young LDS Ladies want faithful young LDS man who will be strong and faithful in times of trial.  When these young ladies look at you... what are they going to see?  Are they going to see a strong and Faithful man who is doing what the Lord asks because the Lord has asked it?  Or are they going to see a young man in open rebellion against the Lord because they are selfishly putting their own desires before the will of the Lord?
    I think the answer is clear what a Faithful young LDS woman would want.  Now some will point out that many faithful LDS men didn't serve and that their current condition is more important then past action, and this is true.  So lets be very clear that your current condition is open rebellion, theirs is humble repentance not the same at all.  One could hope that humble repentance will soon come for you but that is up to you.
    So you can either repent to become the Faithful young man they are looking for... Or limit yourself to the young women who are ok with their future husband currently being in open rebellion before God.  And in that last case you aren't really looking for a Faithful young LDS lady any more..  You are looking for a rebellious young LDS lady, and you know we have those too but they are found in different places.
  5. Like
    yjacket reacted to my two cents in My Search   
    Chiming back in - Pursuing an education is a great thing and I commend anyone for doing it.  It may be worth considering though that you'll be even more blessed in your studies and career if you give a mission an honest go.  My husband has had some amazing opportunities, etc and I'm sure in part, it's because he served a faithful mission.  
    That said, since you're just asking about dating, have you checked facebook for singles groups?  That can lead to skype convos and then maybe 'meeting half-way' for a date. Also, my area has regional ysa activities from time to time.  Maybe find out what might be happening where you are (google can possibly help with that) and go to those.
  6. Like
    yjacket reacted to Jane_Doe in My Search   
    Speaking as a female on this thread--
    The most you can do to be attractive a young lady is to be Christ-like.  Work on:
    -- Your testimony.  Regardless of whether or not you serve a mission, this is huge
    -- Your education and finical future
    -- Your general self-upkeep.  Keep in shape spiritually, emotionally, physically.
    -- General maturity / manners / charity 
    Now how to find an attractive young lady (LDS or not):
    -- You got to get out there.  No, that doesn't mean you have to constantly ask people out, but if *you* never get out, then ladies have no opportunity to meet you.
    -- Be brave.  
    -- Keep trying, even after 99 failures
    -- Be honest and realistic with yourself and her.  Communication is key.
     
     
     
  7. Like
    yjacket reacted to my two cents in My Search   
    @hewasamormonboy - fwiw - My husband is a much better husband thanks to his *honorable* mission than he would've been without it.  Don't get me wrong, he's a really great guy but he was exposed to things on his mission (hardships, attitudes, different personalities, etc) that prepared him for marriage. Also, you may want to consider who it is that you're being influenced by.  Do you really want him to outsmart you??
  8. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from askandanswer in My Search   
    ??? Why not go on a mission?
    This I don't understand, someone who doesn't think they are going on a mission (maybe they aren't ready, don't want to sacrifice, believe it's not for them, etc.?) but yet they feel ready for marriage?
    I've got news for you, if you don't think you can hack being a missionary, then what makes you think you can hack being married? 'Cuz I got news for you being married requires way more work, time, devotion, sacrifice, leadership than a mission could ever require.
    A mission is prime training grounds for skills that are essential for marriage.
    "Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary." - President Monson
  9. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from SilentOne in My Search   
    Typical millennial claptrap.  
    No ifs,and, or buts, for a young priesthood holder, mission service is a duty and and obligation.
    So basically what you are saying is: you want to do what you want to do (i.e. not serving a mission), you want to get married, you understand in general LDS girls don't seriously date non-members or RMs.  But you feel you are special and the girl you date/marry is going to be so much more spiritual b/c she sees you based upon your personal testimony and you don't want to lower your standards.
    Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too!!  You are very funny.  I've got news for you based upon what you are currently saying, any stalwart LDS girl would be lowering her standards to marry you. No wonder you can't find anyone to date!
    The 2nd bold portion is hilarious . . .another typical millennial claptrap reasoning of everyone is a STAR!!!  Look at me, I didn't serve a mission, not b/c I couldn't but b/c I choose not too and no one should hold me back b/c of it.
    Hey kid.  Lesson #1 in life.  The world does not revolve around you, nor does it revolve around what you want-in fact it could care less about what you want in life.  
    If you don't want to serve a mission, that's fine.  You just need to accept the realities and consequences of what that means.  Instead of pouting that "no one should hold you back" . . .really??? I've never seen another LDS member who didn't serve a mission be actively held back (i.e. no one says, welp nope you can't serve as EQP b/c you didn't serve a mission . .. how ridiculous).  What I have seen is that b/c of their choices, they held themselves back. And there is a big, big difference.
    You don't want to serve a mission, cool.  But you need to accept the reality of what that will mean; which is that you will self-select out of the dating pool for many good LDS girls . . .and that is perfectly acceptable.  I will advise my girls to not seriously date boys who could have served but did not serve. If you accept that reality, cool, if not-well good luck kicking against the pricks.
    -------------
    A separate question is why should being an RM be a good qualifier for dating material.  Well, that is a separate answer, but suffice it to say-yes it is a very good selector.
  10. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in My love life has been a failure!   
    Truth . . . rather than learn how to flirt, learn how to be a good person.  A good person will be friendly, complimentary, helpful, etc.  Flirting isn't about pick-up lines or dopey catch phrases-it's about genuinely being complimentary.  Besides most "normal" flirting in this modern world ends up having some sort of sexual innuendo and if the girl you are trying to date is into that stuff do you really want to be dating her???? 
    Most good flirting (i.e. the non-sexual innuendo type) really just comes down to being comfortable and playing around (i.e. having a good sense of humor).  We do it all the time with people we know and love, except we don't call it flirting b/c we know them, they know us and we don't have an ulterior motive-we just want to enjoy the other person's company.  
    The best thing you can do is just to be comfortable in your own skin-that principle works not just in the dating game for for all sorts of "games"-it works in the political arena, it works for work, networking, business,etc.  We don't call it flirting in the other areas b/c the intent isn't to date, the intent is to develop a business relationship, to get a job, to get a promotion etc.  But ultimately, you've got to be comfortable and confident in your own skin.  
    You find in live that sometimes (many times) your personality doesn't match up with the business relationship you are trying to develop or the network or the job, or whatever. In those instances,you just accept the loss, learn from it (if you can) and move on-there is always another opportunity, another relationship, another whatever.
    Then the only way you really get good at it is through practice . . .some people just have a natural talent and knack-but most of us have to practice and the only way to practice, i.e. to be comfortable in your own skin is to just simply do it-no amount of reading, studying, etc. will ever make up for just doing it.  So no matter how many times you get shot down, you just keep working at it, find a girl you're interested in ask her out on a date and then just learn and be introspective.  
    Don't ask her "what did I do right or what did I do wrong", no one is going to tell you-sometimes you've just got to learn it on your own.
  11. Like
    yjacket reacted to The Folk Prophet in My Search   
    Isn't choosing someone who has the commitment, humility, attitude, and willingness to serve a mission a trait to find attractive?
    So what you mean to say is you want to find a girl who is attracted to the uncommitted, prideful, those with poor attitudes, and a lack of willingness to serve. Well...they're out there. I'm sure you can find one.
  12. Like
    yjacket reacted to The Folk Prophet in My Search   
    This is not what's commonly believed because it doesn't make any sense. It is a personal decision. Everyone in the church believes that. It is also an obligation. The two things are not opposed one to another.
    No.
    No.
    This isn't strictly true. In the long run it may be true. Any sin is the same. You could claim the same of any of them. Pre-marital sex isn't going to keep anyone from the celestial kingdom or hold anyone back, etc. No sins will if the person repents of them. That idea being used as an excuse to ignore God's will is unlikely to work out in the long run. A broken heart and a contrite spirit is the key. It is the key to repentance, the key to obedience, and the key to happiness. Treating any of God's counsels as if they aren't that important will, without a doubt, hold us back until we change our hearts, minds, and souls and seek His glory above all.
    This just doesn't happen.
  13. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Backroads in The "ex" relationship   
    @anatess2 said it pretty well.  My advice; really analyze yourself and commit 100% to whomever it is that you marry.  Eliminate any and all outs.  Unfortunately (or fortunately), we find a heck of a lot more out about ourselves in marriage than being single . . . "you think you're just fine and then you get married" carries a lot of truth.
    My biggest piece of advice is to honest to goodness make sure you are not unequally yoked. I harp on it a lot-but there is so much truth to it.  You want to find and marry someone who compliments your weakness, and your strengths compliment their weakness.  But if you're a 3 on the marriage ritcher scale (however that gets measured) and the person you marry is a 10, chances are you are in for some problems.  You want to make sure not just that you "marry over your head", but that your spouse "marries over their head" too!
    Ultimately, if I come from a broken home, I wouldn't worry about it too much . . .there are plenty of fish in the sea and so what if you can't catch the biggest bass ever, catch a good one that compliments you well and it will work out.  Interestingly enough, in general people have a way of sub-conscientiously self-selecting out of these situations; for example people tend (not always but tend) to marry individuals that look similar, i.e. a girl who is physically a 10 generally doesn't marry a guy who is physically a 1-it happens but in general people marry other individuals who are more similar than different.
    I think this happens in the broken home realm as kids from broken homes self-select out of marriage or marry much later in life.
    Finally, I know this sounds weird, but I would advise them to ensure that they are either neutral to or actually enjoy the BO of their potential spouse.  It's actually another one of my hypothesis that marriage is a lot harder today b/c we mask our BO. Before deodorant, etc. it was one of the natural ways of selecting a mate-if you didn't like their BO-ain't gonna happen. And I think for whatever reason, this was/is our bodies way of giving off naturally occurring pheromones/chemicals and signaling compatibility.  Today we mask it so we don't have that signal as to whether or not it would be a naturally good match.  I'm not saying go without deodorant . . .only that you should at least know what your spouse smells like (and whether that smell is repugnant, neutral, or good).
     
  14. Like
    yjacket reacted to estradling75 in My Search   
    I am also pro mission...  As a father that has a son who will not be serving a full time proselyting mission due to medical reasons...  The church does offer alternative forms of missionary service.  My Stake President and Bishop are working with us to craft a Church Service Mission that is with in my son's abilities.
    There is no reason for an young man to not be discussing with his church leaders about serving.  And the only honorable reason not to is if they say no they will not take you.  In which case then you are honorably dismissed by God's chosen.servants 
  15. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from my two cents in My Search   
    ??? Why not go on a mission?
    This I don't understand, someone who doesn't think they are going on a mission (maybe they aren't ready, don't want to sacrifice, believe it's not for them, etc.?) but yet they feel ready for marriage?
    I've got news for you, if you don't think you can hack being a missionary, then what makes you think you can hack being married? 'Cuz I got news for you being married requires way more work, time, devotion, sacrifice, leadership than a mission could ever require.
    A mission is prime training grounds for skills that are essential for marriage.
    "Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary." - President Monson
  16. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in My Search   
    ??? Why not go on a mission?
    This I don't understand, someone who doesn't think they are going on a mission (maybe they aren't ready, don't want to sacrifice, believe it's not for them, etc.?) but yet they feel ready for marriage?
    I've got news for you, if you don't think you can hack being a missionary, then what makes you think you can hack being married? 'Cuz I got news for you being married requires way more work, time, devotion, sacrifice, leadership than a mission could ever require.
    A mission is prime training grounds for skills that are essential for marriage.
    "Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary." - President Monson
  17. Like
    yjacket reacted to anatess2 in The "ex" relationship   
    In a tough spot.  That's just reality.  That is why in the Philippines, divorce remains illegal.  There is just not many people who will vote for it.  And that's why as a parent, saving a marriage even if it is just for the sake of the children is a noble choice unless abuse is involved.  I don't even consider adultery or addiction as a deal-breaker but that's just me.
    So, if you are one of those who is a product of a broken household - especially when it broke when you are very young - my suggestion is for you to take a hard look at yourself and your life and try to work on getting yourself well-adjusted.  Usually you think you're just fine and then you get married.  Events inside a marital relationship gets to trigger all the crap that has been hidden in your own psyche that you haven't quite dealt with.  Doing this, you'll be able to "sell yourself" to a potential mate who may be resistant to the baggage your parents made you carry.  And not just that, this gives you a better chance of being able to stick to a marriage even if it is starting to look like your parents' marriage.
  18. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from NeedleinA in The War in Heaven   
    Lol . .. well now . .. .  Boy if this isn't the typical, petulant millennial response.  My 9 year-old gives a better response.
    Note: the above isn't judgement, it's an observation.
    Another observation: I have found in my life that those who complain about others judging them are almost always the worst offenders themselves.
    Do you have kids?
    (This is judgement)
    Exhibit A of why this country is going down.  You see in the modern day approach, no-one can tell you you are wrong, b/c if you tell someone they are wrong you are "judging". This is the typical BS moral relativism mantra that has infested and indoctrinated this land.  Sick, sick, sick.
    If you don't like what someone says, the correct response is STTE  . . .hmm, that's interesting, I don't agree with it but I respect your opinion.  Nope, not today. It's WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE ME!!!!!!! DON'T TELL ME ABOUT MY FAULTS!!!!
    I simply make a comment that you are the one who is disregarding scripture you don't like.  If it doesn't fit with your notion of what the world should look like-you discard it and then tell anyone who is telling you that you are fitting the scriptures to match your own notion that they are judging you.

    We are commanded to judge. Unless you are a part of this moral relativism group-God tells us we should judge.
    https://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/08/judge-not-and-judging?lang=eng
     
    24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
    1 Now these are the words which Jesus taught his disciples that they should say unto the people.
    2 Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgment.
    ---------------------
    Dude . . . grow up.  
  19. Like
    yjacket reacted to pam in Judging righteously and unrighteously   
    Sometimes the line between a righteous and an unrighteous judgment can become blurred. Over the years, I’ve spoken to friends, family and church leaders on the subject and have compiled a series of questions to help me as I think of others. This is not a compete list, and as I continue to explore the subject, I will probably add more criteria to my personal litmus test, but I’ve found these questions helpful in making my own judgments, and perhaps someone else will too.
    https://mormonhub.com/blog/faith/scripture/judge-not-unrighteously/
  20. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Vort in The War in Heaven   
    Ah the modern world. Only believe the scriptures verses that support what you want to believe.....the rest don't count. 
    Philosophies of men mingled with scripture. 
  21. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from Vort in The War in Heaven   
    Not in this case.  We can disagree on the meaning of a scripture, but unless it is changed in the JST as LDS members we don't just say . . .well I don't like this verse and it doesn't count b/c it was written by a well-meaning scribe.
  22. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from SpiritDragon in The War in Heaven   
    Lol . .. well now . .. .  Boy if this isn't the typical, petulant millennial response.  My 9 year-old gives a better response.
    Note: the above isn't judgement, it's an observation.
    Another observation: I have found in my life that those who complain about others judging them are almost always the worst offenders themselves.
    Do you have kids?
    (This is judgement)
    Exhibit A of why this country is going down.  You see in the modern day approach, no-one can tell you you are wrong, b/c if you tell someone they are wrong you are "judging". This is the typical BS moral relativism mantra that has infested and indoctrinated this land.  Sick, sick, sick.
    If you don't like what someone says, the correct response is STTE  . . .hmm, that's interesting, I don't agree with it but I respect your opinion.  Nope, not today. It's WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE ME!!!!!!! DON'T TELL ME ABOUT MY FAULTS!!!!
    I simply make a comment that you are the one who is disregarding scripture you don't like.  If it doesn't fit with your notion of what the world should look like-you discard it and then tell anyone who is telling you that you are fitting the scriptures to match your own notion that they are judging you.

    We are commanded to judge. Unless you are a part of this moral relativism group-God tells us we should judge.
    https://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/08/judge-not-and-judging?lang=eng
     
    24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
    1 Now these are the words which Jesus taught his disciples that they should say unto the people.
    2 Judge not unrighteously, that ye be not judged; but judge righteous judgment.
    ---------------------
    Dude . . . grow up.  
  23. Like
    yjacket got a reaction from SpiritDragon in The War in Heaven   
    Not in this case.  We can disagree on the meaning of a scripture, but unless it is changed in the JST as LDS members we don't just say . . .well I don't like this verse and it doesn't count b/c it was written by a well-meaning scribe.
  24. Like
    yjacket reacted to The Folk Prophet in The War in Heaven   
    JST of the verses.
    https://www.lds.org/scriptures/jst/jst-matt/7.4-8
    4 And again, ye shall say unto them, Why is it that thou beholdest the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
    5 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and canst not behold a beam in thine own eye?
    6 And Jesus said unto his disciples, Beholdest thou the scribes, and the Pharisees, and the priests, and the Levites? They teach in their synagogues, but do not observe the law, nor the commandments; and all have gone out of the way, and are under sin.
    7 Go thou and say unto them, Why teach ye men the law and the commandments, when ye yourselves are the children of corruption?
    8 Say unto them, Ye hypocrites, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
  25. Like
    yjacket reacted to Latter-Day Marriage in Want to convert, husband does not   
    I assume from you saying you are getting baptized that he has agreed to this, as I recall church policy is they won't baptize one spouse if the other spouse objects to it.  Your relationship with your husband is a higher priority even getting baptized and the church will go to great lengths to avoid causing conflict in a marriage. 

    Feeling it is a cult is something that has a lot to do with not personally knowing any Mormons so you can help shape his mental image of what a Mormon is by being the best Mormon you can be.  Live the gospel, read the scriptures, pray, be kind and Christlike and let the fruits of the gospel come into his life through your faithfulness.  Living the gospel should make you a better wife, not create conflict. Invite him to church social events, help him get to meet other ward members if possible (missionaries can seem threatening and 'out to get you' to some non-members), make sure he knows the door is open for him to come to church but don't try and twist his arm or guilt him into anything. 
    Respect his authority and position as as the head of the house. Don't make him feel that he is in some kind of competition with the church for your respect and devotion.  The fact that he is not a member doesn't change his position as husband and father and as spiritual leader in the home. Even if the Bishop wants to give you a calling of some kind and he says no, don't make it a point of contention between the two of you.  Let him grow at his own pace.
    My mom joined the church not long after my parents married, several years before I was born.  He wasn't keen on it either but as he saw the good it did for his wife and for their kids his heart softened.  By the time I was born he knew it was true but he didn't feel he could live the Word of Wisdom so he didn't join until the year after I was baptized.  Play the long game, let the Lord gently lead him over the years to the gospel path.