yjacket

Very interesting . . . .if the Prophet mentions something similar in the October GC, look out.
 
I can remember a very similar message in '98 and the dot-com crash came a year later.  I believe we are closer to the next recession than we are from the last one.

I'm sorry, but you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.  It is all fine and dandy to make these complaints and accusations when you live in the absolute most abundant time in history.  Never before in human history has there been so much plenty, so much food, time, energy, leisure, etc.
 
And all of this has come about because of capitalism (which I hate to use that word b/c so many have a complete misunderstanding of economics and of this word).
 
This utopia world where the rich are only righteous because they give away all their money is ridiculous.  Do you have any idea or clue how the world has come into such abundance in this time period?
 
The only world in which your idea could even possibly come true is in a world where food, water, items of luxury, etc. come about by the snap of a finger, when it is as easy to get as by breathing air.  Until that occurs, there will always be rich, and there will always be poor and being rich or poor has nothing to do with being righteous.  Those who are poor can be just as unrighteous as those who are rich.
 
It is why socialism, communism and all other variants of it will ultimately fail, simply because they do not take human nature into account.  We all act in our own self-interest, it is inherent to being human.  If I see some rich guy giving out millions to the poor, i.e. that I don't have to work to earn my daily bread, there will be much less incentive for me to actually work.  I will become angry, frustrated that so and so gets money and I don't.  Now I might not become like that, but the natural inclination is to do so.  
 
I could write a book on how wrong you are . . . but all I should say is that you really need to read and study.
The massive factories and innovation used to build cars, to design the ipad, to design and deploy computers, to the common things of super-markets have all come about through wealth.  It costs millions of dollars to build, design and deploy any number of common household items in today's modern society.  The only way that wealth is acquired is through a lot of very hard work.
 
If you want to complain about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, you are barking up the wrong tree of the free market.  If you want to complain about it, get to the root of the problem . . . . the Federal Reserve System or Central bank, which creates money and gives it to the well connected (not necessarily rich, but the well connected) who then buy up everything at cheap prices before the inflation has occurred. . . . they get the spoils of buying things cheaply and get richer while the poor have to wait to get the new money so they can then buy things that are more expensive and they get poorer. 

One problem is that you are not taking into account where those malnourished people are located.  They are located in countries and in societies that are dysfunctional.  The foundation of society (besides family) is property rights, the idea that whatever I create or improve upon is rightfully mine.  I may choose to voluntarily give it to others, but inherently I have no natural obligation to do so.  To take what I have created and give to another without my consent is theft.  It doesn't matter if we call it a "tax" or a "penalty", it is theft plain and simple.  Legalized theft.
 
Those billion people are in societies that do not respect property rights, they are in societies that basically say, if I want it and I can get enough of my friends together I can take it from you.  Implementing a tax and giving people money or food in those areas does not work.  The thugs will come and take it from those who really need it.
 
It is a simple fact of human nature that in cases where someone else provides continuous and regular gifts, the receiver will not value those gifts as much as they would if they worked for it and earned it on their own.  A continuous and regular gift, no longer becomes a gift it becomes an expectation and an obligation.  At that point, the benefits of voluntary charity become extremely diminished, the spiritual component of it is taken away and it simply becomes a transaction.
 
Ultimately, I don't believe people are inherently evil, but that everyone is motivated by their own self-interest.  There is an ultimate truth when Christ says that those who lose their life for His sake shall find it.  The beauty of the Gospel is that by giving of ourselves we actually gain everything.

We agree with what we want as a end result.  We disagree with the methods used to do it once you reach step three.  Government is the use of force.   You choose not to pay taxes you go to jail etc.  Once force and threat of violence is invoked the cure becomes worst then the disease.  

If all you see is the worldly side of the equation then that is where you have a logical case for a short term.
 
But experience teaches that taxes once allowed only get bigger as time passes.  Thus a small tax now becomes  huge tax later.  Corruption is inhertant in governments.  It would grow into a yet another slew of government employees to oversee the program.  And even more to deal with corruption within the program. Inspite of all this money, the problem does not go away.  Why because people are lazy by nature.  If someone else will provide for you, then you have no incentive to provide for yourself.  More and more people would become dependent on the system. The Number of non-workers to workers would climb costing more and more until it spirals out hand.  Because of human nature the system will collapse.  And if you ignore this your ignore your history.
 
When we look at it from the history of what has happened it seems that the best over all progress is made when individual are given control to sink or swim.  Some sink (children die) and that is a tragedy.  But the answer is not to create an unsustainable system that will in the long term fail and take everyone with it 

OK, a little disagreement is no bad thing. Life would be incredibly boring without it, and we would all go our various ways completely reassured and completely wrong.
 
But, my question to Backroads remains open. What other alternative is there than taxation, once voluntary charity is exhausted and people are still dieing of hunger? What is the LDS alternative to step iii)?
 
Best wishes, 2RM

To the OP question.
 
I think the question should be: Are we righteously obligated to pursue those activities that are within the scope of the gospel that provide benefit to our fellow man?  To that question the answer is yes.  And if we do a good enough job at doing that the outcome of those activities will be wealth and influence.
 
If a man says, I want to get rich, it will be very difficult for him to get rich.  How does one get rich (monetarily)? By providing goods or services that people want.  People will then exchange their money for those goods and services.  The better those goods and services meet the desires of the people the more successful that individual will be and the more money they will gain from those interactions.  That is how one gets rich . . . . by providing something of value to others.
 
Are we under obligation to provide something of value to others?  I would say absolutely, by providing something of value to others we are enriching their lives.  We gain something and they gain something and everybody wins.  We are under obligation to provide goods and services that are of value to others.  I would also say that we are under obligation to not provide those goods and services that would hurt others.  I think that decision is a personal one that each individual must come to terms with.

I see where you're going, and partially agree; but I think it's worth noting that Saddam did the same thing to other people--lots of them, including children--that ISIS is doing now.  There just wasn't an internet then. 
 
Bad people are going to do evil and horrifying things even where there are no American troops around to blame for igniting the tinderbox (Nigeria, Sudan, Rwanda, . . . ad nauseum); and those of us who nevertheless advocate isolationism need to understand--particularly in this media saturated age--that we must learn to grapple with and resist the graphic photographs of gut-wrenching atrocities in conjunction with the perpetual plea that America Do Something™.

What the??? what absolutely horrible advice.  "The Lord does not want you to be trapped in an unhappy marriage"
 
Please show me the references where the Scriptures, Prophets, GAs, Ensign, etc. support this claim, i.e that if you are in an unhappy marriage, the solution is to divorce.
 
This is contrary to the gospel.
 
Please refer to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/04/an-elect-lady?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
 
The gospel is almost always about encouraging marriages and saving marriages.  But I guess that in today's society it is always about me, me, me.  If I'm not happy, if I'm not served, I'm not the one who requires change.
 
Look, marriage is hard, it almost always is hard.  Taking two people and putting them together, especially under difficult circumstances.
 
I'll give you the best advice you'll ever receive.  If, and that's a big if both you and your husband want to save your marriage, then eliminate the outs.  Eliminate the thoughts of divorce, what happened before etc. and fight like mad to make it work.  I guarantee you, you can make it work.

There are a lot of variables here.  I agree with the idea of having a family council and maybe even a family fast about it.  Get everyone on the same frequency.  Church councils work this way.  The General Authorities will table a matter if unanimity can't be reached rather than force someone to decide something under pressure.  Unanimity is one of the signs of inspired guidance given to a group.  
 
That said, when the Spirit speaks to the person who holds the keys of presidency in a council and indicates the way to go, and he reveals that to a council over which he presides, it's the duty of the council to set aside doubt and move forward.  That can happen sometimes.
 
In a bishopric, matters about calling and stuff, ordinations, etc. can involve some deliberation.  Consensus comes eventually.  I have learned that, when consensus doesn't come, the Lord doesn't want the decision to be made at that time.  Other times, the bishop would receive revelation and the other counselor and I would receive an immediate confirmation of a decision and sustain the Bishop's action.
 
As the father in the home, you have the right to the inspiration and the right of presidency.  Your daughter doesn't hold those keys.  In a ward, a Primary Teacher doesn't come to the bishop and tell him to release her and call her as the Young Women's Presidency because she had a revelation.  She doesn't hold those keys.
 
If your heart tells you this is right and it confirms your daughter's feelings, great.  If not, you have the right to revelation and her revelation won't override the one God gives to you.  If she's inspired, you'll be inspired to arrive at the same decision.  If not, remember, you're the "bishop" of your home.  I can't think of a Ward or Stake Council that would go against the inspiration of its presiding authority.

What the??? what absolutely horrible advice.  "The Lord does not want you to be trapped in an unhappy marriage"
 
Please show me the references where the Scriptures, Prophets, GAs, Ensign, etc. support this claim, i.e that if you are in an unhappy marriage, the solution is to divorce.
 
This is contrary to the gospel.
 
Please refer to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/04/an-elect-lady?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
 
The gospel is almost always about encouraging marriages and saving marriages.  But I guess that in today's society it is always about me, me, me.  If I'm not happy, if I'm not served, I'm not the one who requires change.
 
Look, marriage is hard, it almost always is hard.  Taking two people and putting them together, especially under difficult circumstances.
 
I'll give you the best advice you'll ever receive.  If, and that's a big if both you and your husband want to save your marriage, then eliminate the outs.  Eliminate the thoughts of divorce, what happened before etc. and fight like mad to make it work.  I guarantee you, you can make it work.

He will answer them, in His own time.  We must have faith that He will answer them.
 
Many times in life we have to proceed with the best knowledge possible trusting that at some point God will let us know.
If I ever feel like I haven't gotten an answer, I generally proceed down the best path that I think is possible all the while praying, Heavenly Father if this isn't the path for me, please let me know.
 
We strive and work and fight all the while praying that God will reveal His will.
 
I know He answers prayers, sometimes it might take a very long time.  I've had very powerful, heartfelt prayers that I could get no answers to for a very long time, almost a decade.  I proceeded in the best way possible and then, all of the sudden in a manner that I couldn't possibly imagine He answered my prayer.  He knew what He was doing, if He had answered my prayer many years ago, I would have withered later on.  He answered it at exactly the right time in my life.
 
When will God answer your prayers? . . . .only He knows, but we must have faith that He will answer, until then we do the best we can, work like crazy to get an answer and then have faith that He will respond.

He will answer them, in His own time.  We must have faith that He will answer them.
 
Many times in life we have to proceed with the best knowledge possible trusting that at some point God will let us know.
If I ever feel like I haven't gotten an answer, I generally proceed down the best path that I think is possible all the while praying, Heavenly Father if this isn't the path for me, please let me know.
 
We strive and work and fight all the while praying that God will reveal His will.
 
I know He answers prayers, sometimes it might take a very long time.  I've had very powerful, heartfelt prayers that I could get no answers to for a very long time, almost a decade.  I proceeded in the best way possible and then, all of the sudden in a manner that I couldn't possibly imagine He answered my prayer.  He knew what He was doing, if He had answered my prayer many years ago, I would have withered later on.  He answered it at exactly the right time in my life.
 
When will God answer your prayers? . . . .only He knows, but we must have faith that He will answer, until then we do the best we can, work like crazy to get an answer and then have faith that He will respond.

I have come to understand that any daydreaming of my ex does not help. IF we were to divorce though it would NOT be for my ex don't worry. And you're right, my husband will have a different take I'm sure. I feel resent towards him a lot but from now I will work on that and only be kind and loving. I have spent time in counselling whilst I was depressed during our marriage. We could not afford any real marriage counselling/therapy although I hear that where I live the church can offer these services so I could talk to my bishop. I have also purchased the five love languages book someone on this post suggested. Something is telling me I still haven't done enough on my part to feel like I've done everything I could to make it work. Fingers crossed!

What the??? what absolutely horrible advice.  "The Lord does not want you to be trapped in an unhappy marriage"
 
Please show me the references where the Scriptures, Prophets, GAs, Ensign, etc. support this claim, i.e that if you are in an unhappy marriage, the solution is to divorce.
 
This is contrary to the gospel.
 
Please refer to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/divorce?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/04/an-elect-lady?lang=eng&query=unhappy+marriage
 
The gospel is almost always about encouraging marriages and saving marriages.  But I guess that in today's society it is always about me, me, me.  If I'm not happy, if I'm not served, I'm not the one who requires change.
 
Look, marriage is hard, it almost always is hard.  Taking two people and putting them together, especially under difficult circumstances.
 
I'll give you the best advice you'll ever receive.  If, and that's a big if both you and your husband want to save your marriage, then eliminate the outs.  Eliminate the thoughts of divorce, what happened before etc. and fight like mad to make it work.  I guarantee you, you can make it work.

I'm sorry that you are going through this trial.  Through Christ's Atonement all things are possible. I do have a question.  How did you happen to come across her e-mails?   If you were snooping in her e-mail without her permission then it would be a breach of trust on your side.  If it was just that her e-mail was open that may be something else.   Generally speaking my wife and I keep our e-mails seperate but if we need to we'll ask each other if we need to access something on the other person's e-mail.  Depending on how your marriage works you may be more or less open with e-mail, but however you do it you need to make sure both parties are in agreement and aware of how you'll manage it. Honesty in many cases is an issue when individuals do not feel they can adequetly open up without being judged or listened to.  If everytime a person opens up and the other individual immediately makes the other person feel bad or insecure they will be less likely to be completely honest.  Creating a safe-space for her to open up to you without feeling judged is critical-ensuring that she is simply listened to.  
 Through recent experiences in my life, I have experienced a small taste of what this would possibly be like and let me tell you it is an extremely hard road-doable and many people do it, but saying it wouldn't be easy and actually living it are completely different things.   In a divorce situation, there is no guarantee that you would get the kids (she would most likely get them) and the State does not look too kindly on dads in divorce situations.  The massive amount of damage that will occur to your children is incalculable.  Financially speaking it will also be a big hit.   Unless you become a dead-beat dad your life and her's will be intertwined for the next 18+ years; it's not so simple as just cutting ties and being done. Do you deserve to be with someone who hasn't been 100% faithful?  No.  But then again have you done everything possible to treat her as your eternal companion, to be kind, affectionate, compassionate, to treat her as Christ would?  Does she deserve someone who hasn't done those things? I don't know if you have or haven't, only you can answer those questions. On a broader scale, what have any of us done to "deserve" the Atonement?  None of us "deserve" it, we can not possibly measure up to earn the wonderful gift that God and Christ gave to us.  It is just that a gift, His grace to us so that we might change and be a better person today than we were yesterday and tomorrow be better than we are today.  I shudder and cry to think of all my sins and all of the gifts that God has given to me that I truly have not earned, yet His grace is sufficient. Finally I would say, to love your wife.  Treat her as Christ would treat her.  Create a safe space for her to be able to confide in you.  If she has cheated but has changed I can guarantee that she will tell you; it will be something that she must do to complete the repentance process and until she does tell you it will eat her alive. If she has cheated and changed you will have a very tough decision to make, will you be able to rely upon the Atonement to forgive your wife? If she cheated and hasn't changed, you will also know. From what I have read in marriages, in many instances of infidelity, it occurs because a need(s) of the person who committed adultery was not being met.  The individual feels, rejected, not listened to, etc. and finds someone outside who temporarily fulfills those needs.   In a strong marriage, infidelity is almost unthinkable because of the bond between husband and wife, each person is fulfilling the needs of the other person.  This in no way excuses infidelity, it only helps to understand why it occurs.

I'm sorry that you are going through this trial.  Through Christ's Atonement all things are possible. I do have a question.  How did you happen to come across her e-mails?   If you were snooping in her e-mail without her permission then it would be a breach of trust on your side.  If it was just that her e-mail was open that may be something else.   Generally speaking my wife and I keep our e-mails seperate but if we need to we'll ask each other if we need to access something on the other person's e-mail.  Depending on how your marriage works you may be more or less open with e-mail, but however you do it you need to make sure both parties are in agreement and aware of how you'll manage it. Honesty in many cases is an issue when individuals do not feel they can adequetly open up without being judged or listened to.  If everytime a person opens up and the other individual immediately makes the other person feel bad or insecure they will be less likely to be completely honest.  Creating a safe-space for her to open up to you without feeling judged is critical-ensuring that she is simply listened to.  
 Through recent experiences in my life, I have experienced a small taste of what this would possibly be like and let me tell you it is an extremely hard road-doable and many people do it, but saying it wouldn't be easy and actually living it are completely different things.   In a divorce situation, there is no guarantee that you would get the kids (she would most likely get them) and the State does not look too kindly on dads in divorce situations.  The massive amount of damage that will occur to your children is incalculable.  Financially speaking it will also be a big hit.   Unless you become a dead-beat dad your life and her's will be intertwined for the next 18+ years; it's not so simple as just cutting ties and being done. Do you deserve to be with someone who hasn't been 100% faithful?  No.  But then again have you done everything possible to treat her as your eternal companion, to be kind, affectionate, compassionate, to treat her as Christ would?  Does she deserve someone who hasn't done those things? I don't know if you have or haven't, only you can answer those questions. On a broader scale, what have any of us done to "deserve" the Atonement?  None of us "deserve" it, we can not possibly measure up to earn the wonderful gift that God and Christ gave to us.  It is just that a gift, His grace to us so that we might change and be a better person today than we were yesterday and tomorrow be better than we are today.  I shudder and cry to think of all my sins and all of the gifts that God has given to me that I truly have not earned, yet His grace is sufficient. Finally I would say, to love your wife.  Treat her as Christ would treat her.  Create a safe space for her to be able to confide in you.  If she has cheated but has changed I can guarantee that she will tell you; it will be something that she must do to complete the repentance process and until she does tell you it will eat her alive. If she has cheated and changed you will have a very tough decision to make, will you be able to rely upon the Atonement to forgive your wife? If she cheated and hasn't changed, you will also know. From what I have read in marriages, in many instances of infidelity, it occurs because a need(s) of the person who committed adultery was not being met.  The individual feels, rejected, not listened to, etc. and finds someone outside who temporarily fulfills those needs.   In a strong marriage, infidelity is almost unthinkable because of the bond between husband and wife, each person is fulfilling the needs of the other person.  This in no way excuses infidelity, it only helps to understand why it occurs.

Marry a good man who is dedicated to the gospel and right. One who served a mission, does his home teaching, speaks often of the gospel and clearly loves it, has a testimony and shares it, serves his neighbor, and treats you with absolute respect, showing honor and integrity in all he does. Go to the Lord and get confirmation that he is the right one for you to marry.
 
Does this ^ mean he won't end up having pornography problems? No. But the chances are much higher that he won't, and if he does, the chances that he'll repent and overcome it are much higher.

Being extremely independent and allowing other individuals to serve me is very difficult.  However, I have learned that many times there are blessings associated with serving others and that by giving others the opportunity to serve me, I am helping them have access to the blessings of heaven.  
 
Each and every time I have someone serve me, I pray that HF will help them in their life, in the struggles they are going through that He will see their acts of kindness and provide for them in their time of need.
 
I think the one particular line can be drawn is whether we expect the service or whether we are grateful for whatever anyone is willing to do.  Expectation of being served is extremely self-centered and IMO un-Christlike.  We should be looking for how we can serve others rather than an expectation of others being at our beck and call.  An expectation of being served will develop a sense of ungratefulness that when someone is unable to serve we will develop an attitude.
 
Part of the issue, might be (and I'm reading between the lines-never a good thing), is that you hope your son would be doing some of these same things.  I do not know the age of your son, but only you can determine whether he is contributing adequately to compensate for the generous gift of living at home.

To me this boils down to the underlying feminist message of something akin to. I can wear whatever I what and do whatever I want and if you have issues with it it is your problem.
 
Men are generally more visually oriented, while women are more emotionally oriented.  It is why in general men have issues with pornography and women have issues with "romance novels".
 
We are responsible to some degree with how our actions influence and affect others.  Group psychology is very interesting, sometimes all it takes is one person in a group to influence for good or evil the rest of the individuals.  To teach a child otherwise is to ignore social mores and is an extremely self-centered un-Christlike attitude.
 
When I drive my car into sketchy neighborhoods, I make darn sure I have a clean car, i.e. no laptops, CDs, valuables, etc. are visible, it is a plain 'ol boring car.  I do not want my car to become interesting for some would-be thief.  Now if I had a laptop on the dash and someone stole it, it would be ludicrous to claim that I caused them to do it.  However, do I bare some responsibility . . . you better believe it; I'll think to myself (dang it) I should have put it away so it wouldn't have been a temptation for someone and so they would have moved on.  Sometimes, even if you have a clean car it still gets broken into . . .the idea is to lower the risk.
 
A female and in a sketchy part of town, wearing a low-cut dress, mini-skirt etc, is doing herself no favors in presenting a low target of opportunity.  I personally think these ultra-feminists are really doing women a disservice by not recognizing the actual reality of the situation, rather they want to make the world to conform to their perceived reality.  All I can say is . . . good luck!
 
So yes both men and women have responsibilities, it is shared.  Women certainly should not be dressed provocatively and men shouldn't be thinking certain thoughts.

To each his own, I guess . . . .the question is how did you gain that self-control?  During your teenager years would you have the same self-control as today?  
 
What teenage boy would be able to go into VS or Fredrick's, etc. and not be aroused.  What teenage boy would not be aroused by going to a beach and seeing a lot of very attractive young women in bikini's?
 
And the line between lingerie model photographs and pornography is IMO very, very small.  In fact, one could make the claim that lingerie photographs do more to enhance arousal vs. simply naked pictures.  So if you are saying you can walk into Fredrick's and be okay, then you are in essence saying you can look at naked pictures and be okay.  More power to you, but do recognize that that expectation of the younger male population in general is pretty unrealistic.
 
Dollar's to donuts, I bet a significant portion of the LDS population who has porn issues, started through seemingly innocent things.  I sure know I do not want my 16 year old son (when he gets there) watching VS shows and going into Fredrick's.
 
In general talks on modesty are aimed at the youth, why, because they are the most vulnerable to the trappings of the temptation.  They do not have the wisdom, experience, or age to be able to walk into Fredrick's and be totally okay.  
 
So I have no problem for the Church or adult leaders to teach that a) we should be modest, b ) it is a shared responsibility both on the viewer to "garnish their thoughts" but also on the viewee to not be walking lingerie model that would encourage the viewer to not garnish their thoughts.  And when individuals say that wearing modest clothes is a form of self-respect, it is, b/c as my wife says "if you don't want to be thought of as a particular type of person, then don't dress like one."
 
I have no idea of your age, but men's libido on average drops as they get older and if they are married, thereby making it easier to reset temptation.
 
If a dress didn't affect a significant portion of the male population then what Cameron Russell does at the beginning of her TED talk wouldn't matter:
 
http://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell_looks_aren_t_everything_believe_me_i_m_a_model
 
Why did she change clothes from a very good looking and fairly modest (in today's standards, but certainly not garment enabled) outfit into something different?
 
To deny the why of her decision to change outfits is to deny reality.

To me this boils down to the underlying feminist message of something akin to. I can wear whatever I what and do whatever I want and if you have issues with it it is your problem.
 
Men are generally more visually oriented, while women are more emotionally oriented.  It is why in general men have issues with pornography and women have issues with "romance novels".
 
We are responsible to some degree with how our actions influence and affect others.  Group psychology is very interesting, sometimes all it takes is one person in a group to influence for good or evil the rest of the individuals.  To teach a child otherwise is to ignore social mores and is an extremely self-centered un-Christlike attitude.
 
When I drive my car into sketchy neighborhoods, I make darn sure I have a clean car, i.e. no laptops, CDs, valuables, etc. are visible, it is a plain 'ol boring car.  I do not want my car to become interesting for some would-be thief.  Now if I had a laptop on the dash and someone stole it, it would be ludicrous to claim that I caused them to do it.  However, do I bare some responsibility . . . you better believe it; I'll think to myself (dang it) I should have put it away so it wouldn't have been a temptation for someone and so they would have moved on.  Sometimes, even if you have a clean car it still gets broken into . . .the idea is to lower the risk.
 
A female and in a sketchy part of town, wearing a low-cut dress, mini-skirt etc, is doing herself no favors in presenting a low target of opportunity.  I personally think these ultra-feminists are really doing women a disservice by not recognizing the actual reality of the situation, rather they want to make the world to conform to their perceived reality.  All I can say is . . . good luck!
 
So yes both men and women have responsibilities, it is shared.  Women certainly should not be dressed provocatively and men shouldn't be thinking certain thoughts.

From her optic.  Is it that the spirit wasn't present or that she wasn't receptive to the spirit that was there.

I'm pretty sure funds get used to pay LDS Family Services for counseling on a regular basis. I've actually talked to bishops about this in the past. I have always had insurance that covered mental health issues with a reasonable copay, so I haven't needed to use it, but it was an option.
 
I personally think there are some problems in marriage and family life that can be fixed with some good old spiritual advice. The bishop is entitled to revelation on your behalf. Sometimes the Sunday School answers are the best way to fix a marriage that's gone slightly off track. With the plumbing analogy, I have unclogged many drains, and I would feel confident helping anyone unclog their drains, too. But if I got in there and found that their drain was so different than mine that I couldn't make heads or tails of it, or so clogged that nothing I did could fix it, I would tell them to get someone who knew more than me. I know bishops aren't perfect, but I think this is what they do. You come to them and tell them your drain is clogged and they try to help you get it unclogged. If they find that it is beyond their ability to repair, they offer to refer you to a plumber.

To me this boils down to the underlying feminist message of something akin to. I can wear whatever I what and do whatever I want and if you have issues with it it is your problem.
 
Men are generally more visually oriented, while women are more emotionally oriented.  It is why in general men have issues with pornography and women have issues with "romance novels".
 
We are responsible to some degree with how our actions influence and affect others.  Group psychology is very interesting, sometimes all it takes is one person in a group to influence for good or evil the rest of the individuals.  To teach a child otherwise is to ignore social mores and is an extremely self-centered un-Christlike attitude.
 
When I drive my car into sketchy neighborhoods, I make darn sure I have a clean car, i.e. no laptops, CDs, valuables, etc. are visible, it is a plain 'ol boring car.  I do not want my car to become interesting for some would-be thief.  Now if I had a laptop on the dash and someone stole it, it would be ludicrous to claim that I caused them to do it.  However, do I bare some responsibility . . . you better believe it; I'll think to myself (dang it) I should have put it away so it wouldn't have been a temptation for someone and so they would have moved on.  Sometimes, even if you have a clean car it still gets broken into . . .the idea is to lower the risk.
 
A female and in a sketchy part of town, wearing a low-cut dress, mini-skirt etc, is doing herself no favors in presenting a low target of opportunity.  I personally think these ultra-feminists are really doing women a disservice by not recognizing the actual reality of the situation, rather they want to make the world to conform to their perceived reality.  All I can say is . . . good luck!
 
So yes both men and women have responsibilities, it is shared.  Women certainly should not be dressed provocatively and men shouldn't be thinking certain thoughts.