yjacket

My advice:
 
Move, not just to a different place but a different location, different city, different state, etc.
 
3 bed apt. for 1900 means you either live in DC, NY, SF, LA or one of those extremely high cost of living places.  I have a house I'm about to sell (4/3) and the most I could get for rent is 1200 in a decent area.  Plenty of really good places to live exist in the US with decent jobs.
 
The rule of thumb for buying a house used to be 20% down + 6 months living expenses.  In general, if you don't have that one should not buy a house.  10k in savings is not much when you've got a house.  New HVAC 6k+, roof 6k+, plan at least 100 a month in maintenance.  Make sure you are truly comparing apples to apples.  With a house, you have insurance, taxes, mortgage insurance (if you don't have 20% down).
 
In general having a 30 year mortgage is a fool's game, the same with rent.  The average time to move is 7 years.  7 years into a 30 year mortgage one has paid very little into the actual principle, in addition if housing prices go down one can be stuck in an area for a long period of time with a mortgage.  The only way a 30 year mortgage works is through the magic of inflation and moreso wage inflation to be specific.  But it requires a lot of assumptions. Assumption 1) Wages will increase making the payments less painful, 2) Work 30 years without a substantial job layoff or major life crippling event 3) stable location.  In today's society those are a lot of assumptions.
 
I own 2 homes, 1 completely paid for 1 half paid for (about to sell)  so I certainly believe buying a house is the way to go, but it requires the right circumstances to do so.
 
Buy the cheapest house you can possibly live in and pay that sucker off, 15 year, double payments, etc.  You will be amazed at how fast you can accumulate wealth when you have a house 100% paid for.  I thank HF everyday that for whatever reason I had the foresight and inspiration to not mortgage up.  If I had mortgaged up, today I would be in a very desperate situation, even more than I already am.  You never know what kind of a screwball, life will throw at you and the best way to deal with it is to be as prepared as possible.
 
Good luck, I used to live in an extremely high cost of living area; I can definitely understand some of the pain.  I knew my income level could never get to the level of comfortably affording what I hoped for.  My ultimate solution was to move.

My advice:
 
Move, not just to a different place but a different location, different city, different state, etc.
 
3 bed apt. for 1900 means you either live in DC, NY, SF, LA or one of those extremely high cost of living places.  I have a house I'm about to sell (4/3) and the most I could get for rent is 1200 in a decent area.  Plenty of really good places to live exist in the US with decent jobs.
 
The rule of thumb for buying a house used to be 20% down + 6 months living expenses.  In general, if you don't have that one should not buy a house.  10k in savings is not much when you've got a house.  New HVAC 6k+, roof 6k+, plan at least 100 a month in maintenance.  Make sure you are truly comparing apples to apples.  With a house, you have insurance, taxes, mortgage insurance (if you don't have 20% down).
 
In general having a 30 year mortgage is a fool's game, the same with rent.  The average time to move is 7 years.  7 years into a 30 year mortgage one has paid very little into the actual principle, in addition if housing prices go down one can be stuck in an area for a long period of time with a mortgage.  The only way a 30 year mortgage works is through the magic of inflation and moreso wage inflation to be specific.  But it requires a lot of assumptions. Assumption 1) Wages will increase making the payments less painful, 2) Work 30 years without a substantial job layoff or major life crippling event 3) stable location.  In today's society those are a lot of assumptions.
 
I own 2 homes, 1 completely paid for 1 half paid for (about to sell)  so I certainly believe buying a house is the way to go, but it requires the right circumstances to do so.
 
Buy the cheapest house you can possibly live in and pay that sucker off, 15 year, double payments, etc.  You will be amazed at how fast you can accumulate wealth when you have a house 100% paid for.  I thank HF everyday that for whatever reason I had the foresight and inspiration to not mortgage up.  If I had mortgaged up, today I would be in a very desperate situation, even more than I already am.  You never know what kind of a screwball, life will throw at you and the best way to deal with it is to be as prepared as possible.
 
Good luck, I used to live in an extremely high cost of living area; I can definitely understand some of the pain.  I knew my income level could never get to the level of comfortably affording what I hoped for.  My ultimate solution was to move.

She doesn't get to decide parental concessions until she's a parent.
 
Just sayin'
 
Hang in there.  Keep her name on the prayer roll at a temple.  Will she allow you to give her a blessing?
 
#8 Be the perfect daughter means she has to be obedient.  If family prayer, scripture study, etc. are what the family is doing then she needs to be obedient and do it with a good attitude.  There will be plenty of time after she's 18 to not be active in the church.  However, she still has her agency and you cannot force her to believe.  You cannot force her to have faith.  She gets to decide those things for herself.  
 
Personally, I wouldn't force church attendance and participation.  She's made it very clear she can't be trusted when she doesn't agree with an expectation and other adults are in jeopardy.  I would continue to insist on her participation in family activities such as scripture study, prayer, family home evening, etc.  Again. . . . she doesn't get to decide the parental concessions.
 
What she can decide is to be a good girl and do whatever is necessary to gain your trust again.  She might not like the Bishop but she owes him an apology.  That would be one of my first things on her "to do" list.

Legally speaking, I would agree, they don't appear to have a case.  Washers and dryers aren't exactly cheap, depending on how fancy it could be $1500+.  Even basic models can run 200 a pop.  If I were in the same situation and the cost was more than several hundred bucks, I'd probably go small claims.  However, even if one wins in court, one still has to collect.
 
At this point in my life, the time, energy, effort, mental strain, etc. for me to take someone to court over several hundred bucks is just not worth it and I'd count the lost money as part of my tuition in the school of Life. 
 
But everyone is different and has to weigh the costs accordingly, sometimes the amount of money doesn't matter and it is the principle of the matter . . . .just depends.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back.  Ask for it back, but don't expect it back.  I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

Am I the only one who finds this story a bit over the top as it goes on? Seems someone's getting played and maybe not the bishop

To be fair, I'm not sure the entire list was meant as a punishment, but rather a laying down of the law, including punishments. But I agree with your thoughts.
 
I think a more important issue is that punishment of this nature is unlikely to fix the problem. I'm not expert on raising teenagers, but it seems to me that this approach may increase the rebellious attitude, rather than help it to improve, which I believe is part of your point. If having FHE is viewed as a punishment in response to misbehavior it's hardly likely to teach a love of FHE.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

Shepard,
 
Parenting in this modern world is exceptionally difficult.  I have made so many mistakes and my kids are young.  Not only are children bombarded by messages, but so are parents.  For example, if you have ever watched the movie "The Croods".  It seems to be a fun-loving movie, but the underlying messages are so destructive.  The message about an idiot father and the rebellious teenager who ends up being smarter than her dad and teaches her dad a thing or two.  This is 180 degrees what the message was 40 years ago of the very wise father helping the child learn to be an adult.
 
I'm not that old and while yes kids talked about "it", I chose my friends wisely and the friends I chose didn't talk about "it".  Your child isn't being exposed to "it", she is exposing others to "it".  And that is a big, big difference.  You can almost bet, bottom dollar that if she is willing to talk about "it" in that much detail, she is thinking about doing "it", if it hasn't already happened.
 
 There is a difference between being rebellious and slamming the door in your dad's face (which I did and my door-after the 10th time or so was promptly removed for several months) and being contemptuous of religious authority, parental authority,etc. Recording and sharing it to all her friends is a big, big problem.  Leading a revolt, to me means she's not the child who is following someone else, it means she is the one who is leading others into captivity and sin.  It quite frankly means your child is the rebellious ringleader.
 
Parenting is real hard, and if you are honestly seeking for the best interest of your child then you should read.  But please, please, please wake up and smell the coffee, your child has some very serious issues.  Since she is now 15, it may now be too late to spare her the pain and absolute suffering that is coming for her down the road.  15 and she is sharing recordings of her explaining things that she supposedly did.  16 and she is texting a boy about stuff, 17 and she is sending pictures, doing things, etc. 18 she is pregnant.  As an FYI, in many states it is an actual sex crime if a 18 year old sends explicit messages to an under-age teen.
 
A child who is this brazen to record it, send it to friends, is headed for trouble.  Your daughter didn't immediately go to the psychiatrist, or you, they got from a student you don't know!!!  I hope you can feel my sincerity, but please for all that is good in the world, do not worry about the bishop, worry about your daughter!!!!
 
If you really want to get a handle on things, then you will need to read.
If you truly want to fix this problem, I have one person who's books you will need to read.
John Rosemond: Teen-Proofing 
 
http://rosemond.com/teen-proofing/
&
John Rosemond: Parenting by the Book.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416544844/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=32602029558&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=663143708805853569&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2di9sb8yug_e

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

Shepard,
 
Parenting in this modern world is exceptionally difficult.  I have made so many mistakes and my kids are young.  Not only are children bombarded by messages, but so are parents.  For example, if you have ever watched the movie "The Croods".  It seems to be a fun-loving movie, but the underlying messages are so destructive.  The message about an idiot father and the rebellious teenager who ends up being smarter than her dad and teaches her dad a thing or two.  This is 180 degrees what the message was 40 years ago of the very wise father helping the child learn to be an adult.
 
I'm not that old and while yes kids talked about "it", I chose my friends wisely and the friends I chose didn't talk about "it".  Your child isn't being exposed to "it", she is exposing others to "it".  And that is a big, big difference.  You can almost bet, bottom dollar that if she is willing to talk about "it" in that much detail, she is thinking about doing "it", if it hasn't already happened.
 
 There is a difference between being rebellious and slamming the door in your dad's face (which I did and my door-after the 10th time or so was promptly removed for several months) and being contemptuous of religious authority, parental authority,etc. Recording and sharing it to all her friends is a big, big problem.  Leading a revolt, to me means she's not the child who is following someone else, it means she is the one who is leading others into captivity and sin.  It quite frankly means your child is the rebellious ringleader.
 
Parenting is real hard, and if you are honestly seeking for the best interest of your child then you should read.  But please, please, please wake up and smell the coffee, your child has some very serious issues.  Since she is now 15, it may now be too late to spare her the pain and absolute suffering that is coming for her down the road.  15 and she is sharing recordings of her explaining things that she supposedly did.  16 and she is texting a boy about stuff, 17 and she is sending pictures, doing things, etc. 18 she is pregnant.  As an FYI, in many states it is an actual sex crime if a 18 year old sends explicit messages to an under-age teen.
 
A child who is this brazen to record it, send it to friends, is headed for trouble.  Your daughter didn't immediately go to the psychiatrist, or you, they got from a student you don't know!!!  I hope you can feel my sincerity, but please for all that is good in the world, do not worry about the bishop, worry about your daughter!!!!
 
If you really want to get a handle on things, then you will need to read.
If you truly want to fix this problem, I have one person who's books you will need to read.
John Rosemond: Teen-Proofing 
 
http://rosemond.com/teen-proofing/
&
John Rosemond: Parenting by the Book.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1416544844/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=32602029558&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=663143708805853569&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2di9sb8yug_e

The interviews are prescribed to be twice-yearly.  For youth aged 12-15, one interview per year should be with the bishop, while the other may be with a counselor.  For 16-17-year-old youth, both interviews should be with the bishop.
 
They are not required.  However, not participating in these interviews can have consequences, such as not being able to obtain a limited-use recommend for the temple*.  You mentioned in your OP that you didn't force your daughter to go to the temple with the ward.  The temple should never be forced.  If she doesn't want to attend, she probably shouldn't.  If she wants to attend, she needs to meet with the bishop.  If she refuses to meet with the bishop, then she needs to accept the consequence that she will be unable to attend the temple.
 
As I think about this more, it sounds to me a little like your daughter is just rebelling for the sake of rebelling.  As the oldest child, she is likely given the most responsibility and blame, but the least amount of freedom and control.  She may be acting out simply because she feels she is under your thumb and (like a toddler during the "terrible twos") simply is trying to assert a level of control in her own life.  The sharing may just be to get your attention.
 
Or, she may not have a testimony or want one.  Despite your own efforts and the way you've raised her, she may genuinely want nothing to do with the Church.  The more you push her into it, and force her to "do what's right," the more you may be pushing her away, in reality.  I don't have any advice for you on this issue, because I've often thought to myself that as long as my children live in my home as minors, they will go to church with the family, whether they like it or not.  When they're 18, they can make their own decisions.  Thinking about your recent experience, I'm not certain that I agree with myself on that anymore, though.  But it is an angle you should consider.





*Other things might include broadcasts of local temple dedication services, ecclesiastical recommendations for college, letters of recommendation, and other local non-official things (in my stake, youth have an interview with the bishop prior to attending Trek for youth conference every four years, and they sign an honor code contract).  Additionally, she would not be able to have a calling if she refuses to meet with the bishop or a member of the bishopric.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.

I'll be blunt.
 
Something is seriously wrong in this situation and it's not the bishop.  Your child has some serious issues that if not resolved now will lead to misery down the road.
 
Obviously this teenager is quite frankly rebellious and is playing you like a fiddle.
 
You are more upset at the bishop for asking for details, rather than being more upset at your daughter for a) deceiving the bishop and actually explaining "tawdry fornications".  I can only imagine what that might be, if it goes beyond just "having sex".  
 
I think I might be more upset at any of my kids for making up such stuff, actually feeling comfortable explaining such stuff to an adult (especially a religious leader when it didn't happen) than doing it.  At least if they did it, they could say they got caught up in emotions, etc.  But planning something like that shows a complete lack of respect for authority, religion, and a total disregard for the actual sin of fornication.
 
If she feels comfortable talking about it now . . . there is very little doubt in my mind that later on it won't be just talk.
 
Again, I'm going to be perfectly blunt,  you need to wake up and take control . . .and even if you do now it might be too late.