starrynight

I read an article once that went on about how MOST women by age 18 are coloring their hair in some form. Most of my roommates at BYU were part of that stereotype, ranging from home-kit dyes to salon highlights to full platinum blonde hair. I had one roommate in hair school who wanted to dye my hair for fun. She was absolutely shocked that I had "virgin" hair and had never dyed my hair, even once, at age 22. The more women I talk to, the more I realize how many of them have and/or currently color their hair. Realize that most blondes you see are fake to some degree. Even many natural blondes get their hair colored or highlighted to make it blonder. It is the upkeep of highlights and the ubiquitous fake blonde that really starts costing a pretty penny.

It really is hard if you are on a budget. I wore an "immodest" swimsuit for many years because my family could not afford otherwise. Sure, they had one-piece swimsuits at Wal-Mart but they were made for middle-aged women and their smallest size did not fit a ten-year old body. I could only afford the $8 cheapo lowcut in back and front juniors one-piece or bikini. We did not have the money to buy a $40 Nike sport swimsuit or department store brand. Even the new "modest" brands now are not cheap as far as swimsuits go. My current Shade tankini set was about $60 total, and that was on sale. If the YW leaders want you to wear something specific, talk to them about it. I wish I had because some of my leaders would have even bought me a modest swimsuit instead of wondering why I sat out of every youth water activity.

I would try to be understanding to your wife and try to see the positives in her new style. She probably feels like she has finally figured out how to dress well and is enjoying the confidence that comes along with that. (If dress had no effect on your own confidence, business professionals wouldn't value the 'power suit' so highly!). I doubt she is actually trying to show off cleavage or look sexy for other people. You are probably just not used to her wearing anything that accentuates her figure, and if you are married to a woman who still has a figure, believe me, EVERYTHING highlights the female body except baggy t-shirts and sweats. It really is okay for good LDS women to wear things except baggy capris and their husbands' t-shirts. I live in Utah County and I see a lot of Mormon wives who don't take care of themselves and it really hurts their self-esteem as well as the image of the Church. P.S. If she is well-endowed there really is nothing you can do about cleavage. I have a relative who is quite large up there and it's unavoidable. Sure, she can throw on a t-shirt that is three sizes too big, and maybe it hides her chest a bit, but then she also looks like, to use her words, "a fat cow." P.P.S. Attention from other guys is highly variable. I hardly ever get catcalled when I'm out with my husband, dressed up in a nice outfit. I actually receive more lewd attention from guys when I'm frumping around in sweats. Some guys have a thing for women with a pretty face who look like they don't have self-esteem. I wonder if maybe you are more sensitive to the looks she gets now that her dress has changed.

Hey everybody, I just went through my first endowment this morning. I am getting married next week to a wonderful man who is my best friend (dated for almost 2 years, engaged for 7 months). I am looking for support from any other members who did not have a positive first experience. That may seem like a strange request but I have a fiance and parents and in-laws who talk about the temple like it's the greatest thing they've ever experienced and talking with them is only frustrating me. This is not what I expected to feel a few days before my temple wedding. I need some support from someone who can actually relate to how I am feeling right now. I took my ward's temple prep class, read the pamphlet, took a BYU temples class, and talked about the temple at length albeit in general terms with my bishop and my family. Then I went through today and I felt tricked. I was not prepared for how weird it seemed to me. Even though I can't say anything in there was harmful, going into a room and doing and saying things by command made me very uncomfortable. It really came off as a cult ritual to me, and I have grown up in the church! Add on top of that that I am a pretty circumspect person and I felt surrounded by female temple workers who were projecting emotionally at me and so ANXIOUS for me to like it that I felt I wasn't given a chance to experience my own emotions. Add on to that that I strongly dislike the garment. I've been reading these forums for the last few hours to try and get some perspective from members on the garment and the temple in general. It looks like it has been discussed ad nauseum on these boards so suffice to say I have a "uniquely" proportioned body that even the measurement lady at the distribution center said would be hard to fit. And I found out in the temple that indeed they didn't fit right, and it's uncomfortable, and my goodness do I feel ugly in them. I have always dressed conservatively and covered myself, and can't really see what underwear has to do with spirituality...especially when I have to wear "worldly" underwear with them anyway to take care of feminine support up top and feminine menstrual needs below. It's not that I didn't know it was coming, but I guess it wasn't so bad when I wasn't wearing them. I am so frustrated right now because I feel like this is nothing at all like the church I experience every Sunday, and I'm not sure I like it all. Insights appreciated