DaZebra

Suzie, I feel I've been abused because this young man took advantage of me when I agreed to help him with his addictions, and threatened suicide when I didn't do what he wanted. Maybe 'abused' is strong, but I certainly feel violated and manipulated.

I realize you don't expect to see high-school age young women in here, but this seemed much more appropriate than the youth forum. Like the title thread says, I strongly feel that I've been abused by a very close (male) friend of mine. We've been friends for a while, and I've always sort of been his support buddy since he's having some issues with mental health, but recently things took a turn for the much worse. He confessed to me some of his habits and addictions that are causing problems in his life, and asked me if I could help. I told him I'd do my best, and proceeded to inform his parents and counselors. He kept going downhill, however, and began pressuring me to become more and more physical. Shocked and overwhelmed, I wasn't as strong as I should have been, and we became far too involved. His bipolar behaviors have become extreme and ridiculous, often begging for intimacy and threatening suicide if I don't deliver. Due to these manipulations I've lost something valuable that I will never get back, and compromised my standards in the worst way by losing my virginity to this young man. Since all of this I've done my best to distance myself as well as I can despite us being in the same grade and participate in many of the same activities and have to work together often. My friends have been a big support to me, but even so I feel lost and suffocated and have no idea where to go from here. I'm afraid to tell my parents, knowing how disappointed they would be, and I don't feel quite ready to go to my bishop yet. Is there any advice you can give me? I really need all the help I can get right now.

Thanks so much, you guys, I feel a lot more comfortable writing now, to him and to other missionaries I wasn't as close to. Another question I came across the other day was about birthday presents... I have a specific idea of what to send that will appeal to his geeky side and has no gospel relevance whatsoever. It's a small LOTR trinket that's flat and will mail in a standard envelope, but I just wonder if that's inappropriate for a missionary? Thanks again you guys, the help means a lot!

If this is in the wrong forum, I sincerely apologize... I'm just curious as to whether any other young women out there wear their own underpants while doing baptisms for the dead? Is that okay, as long as they're white?

It's not anything they did, it's just the way I've always felt around them. So if it was something they did, it's not anything I remember. It's not like they do anything now, I know they love me and they take good care of me, but being in their presence (especially when I'm doing chores or homework) somehow just causes this crazy anxiety and persistent humiliation. :/

The subject line kind of sums it all up. I realize it's normal to have an independent, even slightly rebellious streak, during teen years, but is it normal for it to be like this? Around my friends I am strange, silly, crazy, hyperactive, outgoing, and all that other stuff, but around my parents I'm quiet and keep as much to myself as I possibly can. I'm embarrassed about everything around them. They ask me to do laundry, or clean my room, and my first thought is, "I can't do that, they'll be watching me!" There was one Saturday where I had the house to myself for almost the entire day. In that day I voluntarily did the laundry, dishes, and cleaned most of the house. When my family came home and asked me about it, I was that close to denying I had done any of it, because I was mortified! I don't know why I act this way. I'm even embarrassed to tell them my best friend's name, or what song we got in choir today, or who I got a ride home with, or what my favorite song is. I'm even embarrassed about my testimony, but only around my family. I have deep gospel-related discussions with my friends, with strangers, with all kinds of people...except my parents. My parents were the last people to find out I had a boyfriend. I'm afraid to tell them when I've reconnected with old friends I haven't talked to in years. I tell people that my reason for being excited to move out when I'm 18 is the same as everyone else, to feel independent, to make my own place in the world...but I want to move out so that I can be free to clean and be who I am. For whatever reason, I don't feel like I can be that around my family.

My first question being: When i write, do I address him as "elder" or as his first name? we've been friends for years! Also, he left fairly recently. Do you think he'll even want to hear from home so soon? Call me crazy adventurous and wild, but if it were me being 2000 miles away from home, I wouldn't want to reconnect too soon. Also, i've heard so many mixed things about what to write and what not to write it's not even funny anymore. "Write about what's going on at home, he'll like feeling connected to his friends." "Don't write about what's happening at home if you can help it, he'll be focused on his mission if you are." I already get the whole "no 'i miss you's and 'can't wait to see you again's." I'm talking a little closer to the fine line of frivolous things. Thanks so much you guys :)

Hey Skippy I've actually never heard that one before! Here are some of my favorites: What's your favorite temple? I'm looking at mine Is your name virtue? 'Cause you garnish my thoughts unceasingly. Are you a Gadianton Robber? You stole my heart!

So my drama department is doing a fundraiser for an upcoming trip, you know the whole cookie dough shebang, 45% of the profit goes to my funds....should I pay tithing on that 45%?

Psych or Doctor Who (Not entirely sure about the later seasons, but the first several starring Christopher Eccleston and later David Tennant are good)

So I've got this brace on my knee that I need to wear 24/7 for 6 weeks. I'm about halfway through, but thus far I've acquired a vicious purple blister + bruise. I've tried band-aids, I've tried moleskin, and it's just not cutting it. It's not something that can be helped by reshaping or resizing the brace itself, or else I would have had it fixed by now. I need suggestions on what I can do so it doesn't hurt so freaking bad. Especially now that the blister popped and I'm worried about infections and stuff.

My Young Women's group is HUGE. We easily have 40 or 50 girls, and about half of them are beehives. Consequentially, Girl's Camp is hugely stressful, at least for me. The first day is fun, but by the end of the week I feel crabby, sick, and completely exhausted. Most of this is because of those beehives who WILL NOT SHUT UP until three in the morning (and we have to be up and ready by 7:00 every day). I have a reputation as a good girl, plus I'm the Mia Maid President, so I feel obliged to act excited and happy the whole week of Girl's camp. Put simply, I'm very much not. It's Stake-wide again this year, and that always puts a major addition of lameness on the idea. My question being, how can I not just act positive about going to Girl's Camp, but actually feel positive? How can I feel good about being there and have the best experience I possibly can?

I finished it! It helped so much. There are so many reasons why. It built my testimony, it helped me practice goal-setting, but mostly it cleared up my attitude. In seventh grade (Ugh, I hate to admit this!) I was not the greatest girl. I hung out with the wrong friends, told perverted jokes, and was just overall not the best person to be around, and I knew it. I started doing personal progress a little later though, because I was bored, and realized that I was about halfway done! From there I went, as my leader at the time put it, Gung Ho at it for the next several months. I finished the program three months before I became a Mia Maid. I look back at it, and I can see every little detail I improved on. I started by not hanging out with certain people and groups, which led to not hearing more perverted jokes. I realized how awful it was to tell those jokes, so I stopped, and without those not-great people I didn't hear any more of them. My thoughts became more positive, and with it my self-esteem. I started caring about myself and others a little more. I read the scriptures. (In fact, the Virtue 10-hour project, Reading the BOM, was probably the biggest influence). I can say with pride that I am at least five times the person, character-wise, that I was a couple years ago. I am working at my honor bee right now, and enjoying every minute of it.

In my ward we present the Honor Bees at the same ceremony as the Medallions are presented. I think, since there are apparently no specific instructions for it, it's each individual ward's choice as to how to present them, but I think it makes sense to present them at YW in Excellence.

I had to find a new one last year, and face it, it's harder to find modest and comfortable swimsuits in the junior's section than the children's. I found that the Zero Xposure 2-pieces were fanspastic. They are tankinis with nice, low midriffs and, get this, BOYSHORTS. It was expensive, but totally worth it.