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LiterateParakeet last won the day on May 11

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About LiterateParakeet

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    Latter Day Saint

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  1. LiterateParakeet

    Essential Oils, Do they work?

    Best obession ever! MormonGator's soap is great!
  2. LiterateParakeet

    Ward Boundary Changes

    I think, only partially joking, that ward boundary changes are somewhat like divorce....they involve a separation that you didn't want and didn't have any choice in, but still your ward "family' is divided and there's nothing you can do but try and make the best of it....and get along with your new step-family, LOL
  3. LiterateParakeet

    English literature website

    I'm not an English major, but I love Cliffnotes and Sparknotes. Sometimes a little help makes all the difference in appreciating a book. For example, I read Lord of the Flies in highs school. I thought it was barbaric and I absolutely hated it. My daughter read it (because she wanted to know what everyone was talking about). She loved it and encouraged me to give it another try, with some help from cliffnotes (or some such.) That made a huge difference, the second time through, I thought it was brilliant.
  4. LiterateParakeet

    Women and Spiritual tools outside of the Priesthood.

    I would say mental illness because spiritual gifts are given to bring us to Christ and to help us do the work of bringing others to Christ. They should never cause anguish and insomnia as you described. I don't think it is a pride issue though, as it is common for people with this type of mental illness to be in denial, even when everyone around them is telling them they have an illness. Apparently the same misfiring in the brain that causes delusions also creates massive denial. By the way, I had a friend that had the Gift of Discernment of Spirits. She worked in a nursing home and knew when it was someone's time to pass over the veil, because there would be a visitor in the room that other staff couldn't see. When she described it to me, it sounded beautiful and not at all scary.
  5. LiterateParakeet

    Heart attacks are no fun

    Yikes! I'm so glad you are still with us.
  6. LiterateParakeet

    Strained Sibling Relationship

    Jojo, I agree with @MormonGator. What he is describing is setting some healthy boundaries. That is so important and sometimes difficult for Christians because we wrongly think that being Christlike is synonymous with being a doormat. You can be a Christlike person while at the same time keeping healthy boundaries. Something that stood out to me in your first post is that your parents, who know the situation better than us strangers on a forum, support you keeping some distance. That says a lot. Based mostly on that, I think you are right to keep your distance. A wonderful book about Christian's and boundaries is called Boundaries: How to say yes and when to say no and take control of your life by Cloud and Townsend. I highly recommend it!
  7. Yes, that's past trauma, unmet needs, biology, and social influence can play a role in addiction. I can agree with that.
  8. All I am saying is that we can never really know what someone else has experienced, so you can't be certain if your cousins have more or less trauma. And as Mormongator and I discussed up thread, even when two people experience the same trauma they may respond to it differently. I wasn't really speculating about why your cousins became addicts, just that you can't know their level of trauma or unmet need. But since that connection is the topic of the thread so I should have been more clear. My working theory is that if you take 10 people who try drugs...some of them are more likely to become addicted than others. (There are people who try drugs and don't become addicted after all.) I think people with trauma and unmet needs (two things that may or may not be related) would be the most likely to develop an addiction...and to be foolish enough to try drugs in the first place. I think it is also possible that biology plays apart. It has been said that children of alcoholics have a higher biological propensity to addiction.
  9. So true. There have been studies about twins that are believed to have experienced similar things in war and one gets PTSD and the other did not. They think its because o e had a smaller [Insert brain anatomy here that I should remember but don't because I didn't pay enough attention in psychology class...amygdala, I think). But I wonder, how can we really know their experiences were similar? Also my husband's brother had a much more difficult time dealing with the emotional abuse of their stepfather than my husband did....different personalities.
  10. This is why I think almost everyone can benefit from at least some work out thinking errors like that. Poor guy. I'm glad he was able to get it worked out.
  11. You can't really know that. I have a friend whose younger brother and sister were sexually abused (repeatedly) by a neighbor. He had NO IDEA until now (they're all adults, and the healing process has been difficult).
  12. I have to say....I really love this. Unmet needs...yes, I agree. I've been pondering lately why people often get caught up in collecting things....I mean large amounts of things, like my a friend of mine who has about 40 (or so) pocket knives. He just loves them and rotates them regularly so they do get used, but still, wow. And it is the same with fountain pens, or some womens yarn or fabric stashes. I've decided that we (I'm guilty of this some degree too) do it because the thrill of purchase makes us happy...for a moment....and fulfills some unmet need. I would call this one of those "smaller addictions". When you know your spouse would be angry, but you just gotta buy one more . . . I think this is a really interesting idea that I will need to consider a bit more. My thought (for now) though is that an "addictive personality" is someone with a lot of unmet need and perhaps trauma. I have an addictive personality and I find I have to be careful of anything remotely addictive (yes, I have trauma history). I believe genetics also play a part, I have hear that the tendency to become alcoholic (I would assume other substance abuse in included here). Both my parents were alcoholics (I hit the jeackpot on that one...ugh!) But then again is that nature or nurture? I can't say for sure. Both my brothers became alcoholics and my sister married an alcoholic so . . . whatever it is it's a hard pattern to break. This is another interesting idea. In part I want to say that addiction is involuntary and sin is voluntary so they aren't the same, but many addictions, like for example alcohol are inherently a sin as well. The rest of this quote though, I totally agree with! Well said. I agree. Often times we don't even realize we are doing it. Well it depends on what past you are dealing with. I think it is certainly possible, but can be very difficult (understatement of epic proportions here.) I'm not really clear on what you are saying here. "Victim" is one of those words that means different things to different people. If a woman is raped, some might say she is a victim of a terrible crime. I would agree. But some woman would take umbrage at that and say, "I'm not a victim; I'm a survivor." Which Is also true. Are you saying that Christ was the only victim because He was innocent? But that couldn't be what you meant, because you know innocent children are sometimes victims. Sorry, I'm just not clear what you are saying here. I think one needs to take time to heal, and to grieve the umet needs (be angry, be sad, whatever that entails) but yes, I think one of the miracles of the Atonement is that Christ can turn anything we suffer into something for our good. This I am certain of. I agree...with one caveat....He does have the ability to heal us. Though He chooses how that healing will come to pass, though we may wish for instantaneous healing like in the New Testament...usually His healing is more along the lines of walking by our side through the fire and giving us strength to survive and come out on the other side better than we were before. For some wounds that is truly a miracle, but it is ceratinly possible through Christ. Thanks for your post. I particularly liked the quote from the Young Presidents Organization.
  13. Thanks, Mores and NeroTypical. I really enjoyed your responses. I'll give a better reply later when I have more time.
  14. From the article: "Whatever it is I’m addicted to, or ever have been addicted to, it’s not what it is but what it does – to me, to you, to anyone. He believes that anything we’ve ever craved helped us escape emotional pain. It gave us peace of mind, a sense of control and a feeling of happiness. And all of that, explains Maté, reveals a great deal about addiction, which he defines as any behaviour that gives a person temporary relief and pleasure, but also has negative consequences, and to which the individual will return time and again. At the heart of Maté’s philosophy is the belief that there’s no such thing as an “addictive personality”. And nor is addiction a “disease”. Instead, it originates in a person’s need to solve a problem: a deep-seated problem, often from our earliest years that was to do with trauma or loss." Link to article from The Guardian here I think this is so true of many addictions these days... @MormonGator This reminds me of Sebastian Flyte. Thoughts? @Jane_Doe, @NeedleinA, @askandanswer ....anyone else?
  15. LiterateParakeet

    Happy Father's Day

    I found it! It's called: Behind Every Great Man The artist is Kevin WAK Williams