AshleyAdair

And wow....this is exactly how I feel. Thank you...

I was going to answer each response individually and then realized that this may be easier. Thank you all so much for taking the time to answer me honestly ... even those not sugar coating it. :) Sometimes when you feel that you are overreacting or going against direct counsel its necessary to get the opinions of others and realize that things are need of a change...and now. Just to give a few more details. My husband treats the youngest in our family like gold. Pure gold. The next to youngest a little better but there is still a dis-paring difference. The older two girls he has learned to just leave alone for the most part. It is mainly my son and a whole lot of jabs to his biological father. Each time he has gotten into the face of any of my kids I get right back in his but then feel guilty because he does a lot for our family. I don't have to work and he is a great provider and to everyone else i finally have the allusion of a full family....which was something that I lacked for a long time. My first husband was not a member of the church. So now that my son and husband are separated there is not chance for the abuse to continue with him. Do I leave base on the fact that it may start up with the youngest? Do I leave to show my son that I will choose him over my husband? I know this may seem redundant and I apologize ahead of time....but should I feel justified in leaving based on things of the past now that it looks like they are not going to be a problem of the future? Fasting and prayer are necessary there. Does anyone ever feel like they can't trust that they will know what they lord wants of them? I am so terrified of making yet another decision that displeases the lord. Again, thank you ALL for all that you have posted. It really means a lot to me...

Hi Windseeker. Most of my bishops over the years have known one way or the other. It was probably my fault for downplaying it. My husband is a good provider and father for the most part to the rest of the kids (things started out rough with the twins at first but he has since learned to just leave them alone) and I didn't want to misrepresent him if I was over reacting. But all of them have know how I felt with regards to his stewardship of the family and my son in particular. I appreciate your words on forgiveness and I think that is what I struggle with the most. But you can forgive someone and still not want them in your life right? I suppose the guilt of trying to do the right thing all the time for everyone can eat away at you.

Hi Forget-Me-Not. I have three children from my previous marriage: 14 year old twin girls and then my son. My husband and I have two children together: two girls, 8 and 4. Yes, the rest are with with me full-time with the older two having typical visitation with their dad.

Hi, there. I have not posted to this site to date but have found information that others have shared and advice given very helpful to my own situations and those situations of people I know and love. I will keep this straight forward and hope that people will share their feelings and advice freely (but not too freely...lol). I have been married 7 years to my current husband (this is my second marriage). It has been unfortunate that we haven't been able to find peace in either our relationship or the relationships between my husband and the children from my previous marriage. We have experienced a great deal of adversity and trials and have found the cracks in our already unstable marriage to seem insurmountable at times. However, because we believe in giving the marriage everything, we have continuously tried to overcome. My husband and 10 year old son have been at odds for our entire relationship. My husband was emotionally abusive and chose to resort to corporal punishment (something I do not believe in as a normal way of punishing) when dealing with him. He was open about the how he felt about him ..... cause of all of our problems, better when he wasnt there, etc. My son began acting out and got progressively worse over the years which caused my husband to come down even harder on him, etc etc...the cycle got worse and worse. I forgave my husband over and over again when he would do things that I felt in my heart were abusive because I received counsel from my bishop that that was the best thing for me to do. Everything came to a head a few weeks back when he physically restrained my son by twisting his arm behind his back (my son has a promising hockey career ahead of him and he could have broken his wrist or arm). I warned him not to do it because I could see where he was headed. We almost separated last year over his relationship with my son and the one thing that kept us together was the promise on his behalf that he would never put his hands on him again and that he would really try to have a better relationship. That lasted about 3 months and things went back to the way they were. Because of what happened, my son's father filed a protective order against my husband preventing ANY contact with my son....no physical, verbal, etc. This means that in order to see my son, I have to leave my house and meet my son at my mom's house, which has resulted in my parental time being drastically reduced . I am so angry at my husband that I can't see straight and I feel TORN. My bishop is one who believes that the covenant is everything and that as long as we are living up to the covenant, then things will be ok. I used to believe that but I also feel this need to protect my child. I have been thinking about leaving but we have two children together and am devastated over the thought of them being without their dad. <Sigh>.....really struggling with this one..... I have not one doubt that my son and husband have to be separated. It came as an answer to fervent prayer. Just not sure what to do now?