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  1. Okay, so we talked to the bishop today. He brought up something, but didn't want to get into it. So, I thought I'd ask my new forum friends. He said to my wife, "You know, for women it's not the same as for men. You have a chance to be sealed here (physical world) and you have a chance to be sealed there (spirit world)." What is this? Is there a reference to something more detailed about this principle? Credible references preferred, of course, but anything might get me in the right direction.
  2. As far as the "beyond the veil" thing, why would anyone reject it after they die? If the church really is true, then everyone is going to figure that out once they kick the bucket, right?
  3. Just a status update if anyone's still interested. We've agreed to stay together for "a while" longer. I still feel like we're in the same situation, but it's possible that it will take time for her to accept this as a lifestyle. I'd like it if she was more firm on her commitment to stay with me, but I guess I'll take what I can get. In a sense you're right. A little cruel, given I did my best to fully disclose my intentions, but there are aspects of what you say that are the issue. I was raised christian and the LDS church didn't seem like such a stretch to me before. However, when I decided not to believe in the LDS brand of faith, some of my faith in the bible itself diminished as well. Sometimes I wonder if people just believe what they're told or what they want to believe. This is a concern that I don't know how to cure. It's not that I mean to flip flop. I just don't know what to believe.
  4. Skippy: 1.) No. If I had joined when I had asked to, I may not have seen the things that currently bar me from joining, but that time has passed. 2.) Thank you, but I don't want to turn this thread into a religious debate. 3.) I think you're right. We had talked about it before we got married and she did end up leaving for a day, but she also came back. Perhaps I gave her too much hope that I would join. 4.) I agree, but I would be able to wait if I still had an interest in joining. All in all, I'd say we both had decisions to make. I've made mine. I'm not joining (unless I miraculously change my mind in the future, which is a possibility). Now I guess it's time for her to decide if she can live without being sealed to her earthly family. TrueGrits: That might be the saving grace. People in my family die at 60. People in my wife's die at 90. If I turned out to be wrong, I would accept her baptism of me beyond the grave. That being said, it's likely that I will die before her, but there's still a chance something could go wrong and she could go before me. I won't allow myself to persuade her to stay with me based on that loop hole. I just can't assume the risk that I AM wrong and she DOES die before me. I would just as soon have her marry a nice mormon boy. Thank you everyone for your help. Today might be the day.
  5. Truegrits, Do you ever resent your husband for keeping you from being sealed to your children?
  6. Thank you both for all your assistance so far. To set the record straight, "ultimatum" is a pretty strong word. The verbage I used was "You need to decide whether or not you can be married to someone who is not going to the temple." The temple is really the only part that makes this a marriage-threatening situation. Suzie: You're right. It would be best if we could agree to disagree on religion... and I think we could do that, but her agreeing to disagree would mean accepting that she's not going to the temple with her husband. We both talked to the bishop. He's a nice guy. He told me "I noticed Hannah is really happy when you're here together" and then I said, "The problem is, I'm not happy when I'm here." That's when i decided to come clean with her about deciding not to join for sure. Spartan: 1st Answer: Not to be rude, but I'd rather not discuss too much about this. I'm not going to change any of your opinions and my opinions cannot be changed at this time. 2nd Answer: The LDS church has many good, supportive, positive qualities that I think are lacking from today's youth. If a person is raised in the LDS church, I think they're well off. My problem is simply my unceasing doubts. 3rd Answer: That sensitivity to the temple is exaclty why I'm in this situation. If she was baptist and I was catholic, it wouldn't be as big a deal. But because I'm not LDS and I won't go to the temple, she would have to sacrifice that to stay with me. Side note: If my wife and I are not sealed to each other, could our children be sealed to her?
  7. My wife and I have only been married for about 15 months. We've been a couple for about 2.5 years. We've known each other for about 5 years. I am not a member. When we started dating, my wife was partially inactive, but still reasonably within church standards as far as the way she lives. By this time, I had stopped drinking, doing drugs, and going to parties. At the time I had a stronger belief in Christianity than I do now. Before we got married, we had an argument and a 24 hour breakup. She liked that I was faithful, but didn't like that I wasn't LDS. She said she needed a temple marriage, so she left. The next day, she came back and said she couldn't leave. After that, I prayed and saw no harm in investigating the church. I investigated the church for several months and even asked to join, but I wasn't permitted to due to my previous felony. I was told I had to wait until I was off probation (in 2015). I continued to investigate and go to church for awhile after that regardless. I wasn't particularly upset about being held back. Figured I did it to myself. However, in the last few months, I've learned some things about the church and about people as a whole that have ended my interest in joining. I've stopped going to church with my wife regularly since then. I still go sometimes, but she knows I don't like it and I know she'd be upset if we didn't go. Last week, she burst into tears after a[nother] argument about church. She said "I'll never get to go to the temple" between sobs. I told her, "Hannah, I'd love to live with you eternally, but I'm not conviced that the temple is the only way. After that, I presented an ultimatum. I asked her to decide whether or not she could accept our religious differences. Obviously, if she can't, that's a deal breaker. It's almost Sunday again (our usual fighting day) and I don't know what's going to happen. I doubt that she will choose me over something so well-rooted within her. If anyone has any advice, please let me know. I'm prepared for any answer of hers, but I won't live the rest of my life being pushed into a religion I don't believe in and I doubt that she will forget about her desire to be sealed. We have no kids, but they could be LDS. I don't have a problem with that. Any ideas other than the obvious?