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Everything posted by cecilyhallward

  1. I would love to get counseling. I've suggested it before, but he 100% refuses. Won't even consider it.
  2. Long story short, my husband thinks the Second Coming is right around the corner. He's been obsessing about food storage, the Illuminati and secret combinations, and "living in the wilderness" when the time comes. He has his reasons for thinking so - he's very smart and good with Scripture interpretation, and there is a LOT of speculation about that very topic on hush-hush sites around the internet. He's reading so much into other people's ideas, predictions, and interpretations that it's seems like it's taking over his mind. Don't get me wrong - I love my husband, and I think he's a wonderful man with great intentions, but we definitely don't see eye to eye on this. He was raised in the Church and I was not, so I have a very liberal understanding of the Scriptures and am a pretty free spirit. I can't really even pinpoint why I'm beginning to worry about it; my husband has had obsessions before, but he's never gotten so lost in it before. He's very defensive about it, in my opinion, when I bring up the possibility that it won't be so soon. He's recently started studying the Scriptures multiple times daily, but it's for the purpose of learning more for the Second Coming and how to cope when the end of the world does happen. Truthfully, this hurts my feelings because at the beginning of this year, I spent hours creating a YEARLONG calendar detailing an intensive Scripture study program that would increase and solidify our familiarity with ALL of the books in the Scriptures, ALL stories, ALL prophets and ideas...and he basically just blew it off. He always told me he "didn't feel like it" or "wasn't into it". But now that he has the end of the world to read about, he's all into it. This is the core, I think, of the problem, is that he's becoming self-centered. His greatest concern is ensuring that HE is prepared spiritually. He actually said to me, 'Well ONE of us has to be prepared when the day comes." We've only been married for a year and a half, and we have a five-month old daughter, but this is NOT the only marital issue we've had. We've always been prone, even while dating, to screaming matches, name-calling, and deliberate skewing of each others' words and intentions. We almost split up about a year ago because we were fighting so much (I had just gotten pregnant and was in a very depressed place and it just wasn't good for our relationship.) I don't have the time or space to cover, even in a general sense, all the problems we have, and I didn't explain our situation very well with the LARGE amount of space I've already taken up. I guess I'm just not looking forward to this...the next couple of years, I feel, are going to be all about the end of the world. He's completely given up on having a future in this world in case it DOESN'T collapse, and has told me more than once that he's "banking on" this time coming to an end. Truthfully, if this continues with this intensity, I don't actually know if I'll be able to take it. He's not an easy person to talk to when he's made up his mind and someone disagrees with him, and he's definitely not an easy person to talk to about feelings and emotions, either. I don't, in all honesty, feel comfortable talking to him about this. We do not have a peaceful or understanding history, and now it feels like he's pushing me away in favor of this world-end agenda. Someone please give me some advice, i don't really know what to do, and this is starting to affect me mentally and emotionally.
  3. I was just called to teach Valiant 8/9, but I was never in Primary because I didn't grow up in the church. I have no idea what the kids are expecting from a class, or what a successful class looks like. I don't have kids old enough to be in Primary - just a 5-month-old. And I've never really known anyone who taught Primary. The Presidency didn't really introduce me to it (my first class was the day of my daughter's baby blessing and I was late getting to class), I had to just sort of go into my classroom and wing it. I had the book beforehand and everything, so I had prepared the lesson to the best of my abilities, but I've never taught kids, especially not 8&9 year olds. They're not old enough that I can just have a conversation with them, ask them to find Scriptures, or many of the other things that happen in the adult classes, but they're not young enough that I can talk to them like little kids. They don't focus well and there are a few kids, one in particular, that just won't sit down and be quiet, no matter how many times I tell them. There has been paper airplane throwing, writing "butt" in the chalkboard dust, turning chairs upside down and sitting on them, yelling, deliberately repeating things I tell them to stop doing or saying...I just, truthfully, don't understand how or why some of these things are issues. How do they think this behavior is appropriate in the first place? I try to be nice and pleasant with them, but I feel like I'm just getting steamrolled. During the second half of Primary they're better but often disruptive, and I feel like it has to be obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing, but everyone disappears after Primary is over and I don't feel like there's anyone there I can talk to about this. It's embarrassing how bad it is. Long story short, can anyone tell me a little (or a lot) about what Primary was like (or is supposed to be like) and what these kids are expecting from me? How do I get them to sit down and be reverent without spending the entire class repeating it? My husband suggested sending kids who commit the same misbehavior repeatedly to sit with their parents in their classes. Is this effective, or does this result in confrontation? Or both? Help...
  4. I have to say that the most amazing thing about members of the Church is their care for people they've never even met - thank you so much for taking the time to give me advice. I really do appreciate it, you were very helpful :)
  5. Hello! So I'm a brand-new convert (baptized the 14th :) ) and have recently started dating a friend of mine who has been a member his whole life. He's a returned missionary, he's at BYU, and he's amazing. We've always wanted the opportunity to be together, but my not being a member of the church previously meant that we wouldn't be able to get married, so what's the point then right? And now everything is going beautifully, besides it being long-distance for now. We're compatible and enjoy each others' company, and I feel like we're becoming so close. The Spirit is so strong with me every time I talk to him or think about him or am around him. He's truly amazing - he's even the one that baptized me. It's very different to what I'm used to, but it's perfect. Unfortunately, as a convert, I didn't grow up with the same standards that he did. I lost my virginity when I was 19, and have been with four people total. I have of course recognized the error of what I did, that it was inappropriate and sinful. And I truly believe that - I've repented and am still repenting...I know Heavenly Father forgives/will forgive me because I truly regret every moment that i was in bed with someone. It's a part of me that I can't get rid, even though I wish with all my heart and soul that if my beloved RM and I were to get married that he could be my first. But I know he doesn't have to forgive me or want to even deal with it. I know he loves me, but I'm afraid this will be more than he can handle and that I'll lose him. It hasn't been very long since we started dating, but we've known each other for years and years, and I just don't know when the right time to tell him is, or how to tell him. Any advice would be infinitely appreciated! :)