I've been there before, I know how it feels, I'm sorry that you're there now. Please don't give up on the church because of fear of the consequences of your actions. We have a unique opportunity in mortality to make mistakes and be forgiven for them. It's called the atonement and please make yourself very familiar with this word, it will will bring you such happiness. God loves you and wants you to 'come back into the fold'. My advice is to just start by going back to church, maybe to a different ward than you used to go to, if you're more comfortable with that. I get the impression that you've been away for a couple of years and after this long, just attending is hard enough. As for the rest, just remember that the end game in this process is to help you return to your loving Fathers arms, even in an instance of excommunication, we want you to correct your path and come back. :)
