shulace76

So I mentioned it to her on Friday night and all she said was "hmmm". On Saturday we went wedding dress shopping and found "the dress". Upon purchase of said dress the place gave me a small box as a "gift". Once in the car I opened the box and inside was a pair of earrings that will match my dress beautifully! I expressed my desire to be able to wear the earrings for bridals and on my wedding day and informed her that I'd done some research and found a place I think would do a good job to pierce them. We had an open dialouge and she didn't once say anything to the effect of "no" or anything. In fact, I think she doesn't care at all now. My fiance took me on Saturday evening to get them pierced and I'm loving them! I'm sure I'll love them even more after the bruising goes away! I'm so glad I made this decision, and I'm certain I won't regret it (unless they get infected or whatever). Thanks again for all your advice.

Thanks for your responses. I think I will most likely go ahead and get it done, and if she gets mad I'm sure she'll get over it...eventually. There are far worse things I could do, right? I'm sure if I and my fiance eloped she'd REALLY have a fit...so in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal. So what if I'm the one that breaks tradition? :)

So it's been a while since I've posted here. Last time was over a year and a half ago and I have...thankfully...moved on to much better things in life. I do appreciate all the adivce I was given at that point. Now on to today's issue... I am engaged to be married to a wonderful man. I am also a graduate student, so until we are married I reside with my parents, as grad school and rent is expensive. I have mentioned to my fiance that I have been thinking about getting my ears pierced (I'm 28 and have never had it done) so that I could have the option of wearing earrings for our wedding. He has decided that is what my present is for Valentines Day...he's going to take me to get my ears pierced (though probably not tonight). I have no problems with this. The problem exists in my mother. I'm aware that I'm an adult and can make my own choices and all that stuff. I wanted my ears pierced as a little girl but when I asked my mom she always said no. She doesn't have hers pierced, my grandmother never had hers pierced, and so on. I mentioned it to her when I was about 22 and in college and she acted very disappointed. I know that it's been said over the pulpit that it's acceptable for women to have one set of piercings in their ears... but that doesn't seem to sit well with her either. So I guess my question is, what might be the best way to go about getting my ears pierced with minimal repercussions at home?I'd like my mom to be a large part of my wedding planning (since we are barely starting) and I'm afraid that this might make her upset or something. Advice? Sugestions? Sorry for rambling...

As an update...We have split up. I have gotten myself into counseling, and am seeing how "tricked" I really was. I am grateful for the wonderful friends and family I have that helped me see that the relationship I had was not "normal". I loved the person I met originally, however that was not the person I ended up with. I hope that he gets the help he needs, and I truly wish him the best. However, I have to do what is best for me, my potential future family, and my own sanity and stress levels! Thanks for your advice!

I failed to mention in my original post that he has only dated 1 individual before me, and he married her. I have dated many people and he is insanely jealous of all of them! He claims that one in particular "got the best of me" and all he ever got was "the leftovers". Those words hurt so badly, because I tried so hard to show him he was the only one I was involved with, the only one I wanted to be with, but my efforts just weren't good enough it seemed. I know I deserve to be treated better, and I know I can't "save him" or "heal him". And I'm grateful, in a way, that we never made it to saying "I do", because I don't know if it would have lasted with the issues he "couldn't get over". However, my heart still aches. I'm a very caring, patient, and loving individual. I have dealt with this behavior for longer than I think most women will. I fear for him because I don't think he has ever had a "normal" relationship to base appropriate behavior off of. I fear he will be unsuccessful in love because of this skewed view of how a relationship is supposed to work.

He has also been diagnosed with not only anxiety, but ADD/ADHD as well. But he's only on meds for the ADD/ADHD

I haven't ever posted on anything like this before. I'm a flurry of emotions at the moment. I have been in a 10 month relationship with a guy. It started out fantastic, but over time turned into a toxic relationship. He is sweet, loving, caring, kind, considerate, and generally fantastic most of the time, but when he's having an "off" mood he's downright mean, abusive, and hurtful. He has never put his hands on me in anger, but his words hurt as if I've been hit with a whip. He goes from "happy" to "sad" in a matter of hours. Always apologizing for his hurtful behavior, but it continues to happen over and over again. I've tried SO hard to hold this relationship together, because I want the person I fell in love with, but it's like a case of Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I don't know what to do to help him. I've gone with him to the Doctors office. However he (the boyfriend, not the Dr.) thinks his only issue is anxiety. I haven't a clue how to tell anyone what I see. He's not very close to his family, but I am in a situation where I see a sister of his regularly without him around. However, she wants nothing to do with the church. He was married once before, and told his family that his ex-wife was the one who drove him to leave her. Now that I have seen this side I have to wonder what her side of the story is. I hate being around him when he's "mad". I feel like it's all my fault that he's angry. I know the situation is awful, and as of right now we are no longer together. He ended it 2 days ago. However, the pain is still very real. And I still care about him deeply. I would like him to seek help, but I don't know where to turn. In truth I probably should seek some counseling of my own, and I have an appointment with my bishop soon to discuss that type of situation. Do I just drop it and walk away, and not say anything to his family about my concerns for his mental well-being? Or should I mention something when I see them? I welcome any advice you have. Thanks!