Eternity

For a lack of a better word or just not knowing how to "word" it.... what does he have to do to no longer be "disfellowshipped"? Please give me a close example. What is the average time taken to get back into good graces for this type of transgression?

I don't want to say it was wrong time/place. We are only human and we have hearts for a reason. As strict as missionary rules are, I understand that they are in place so that the missionaries are put in check and objectives are met. I don't believe our savior would frown upon two individuals in love. There was no malicious intent to what we did. What we should have done, was put our feelings on hold till he had completed his mission. I have never much regretted anything in my life. This situation definitely has me wishing I could hit "rewind" and do many things differently. Im trying to understand what else happens during repentance aside from just following the 6 step process. I know he was stripped of his priesthood....and im sure there are more things technical that he cant do or be a part of. Can someone give me an idea of what goes on behind the scenes of disciplinary action? I want to know what he is going through.

That is my same conclusion. I agree that this is the reason why he has not contacted me yet. I know him well enough that he definitely feels the shame and guilt and would like to make everything right again. I also know that how his family and church receive him, weighs very heavily on his heart. This makes it impossible to get through to him. Only he can initiate contact. I am giving him the time and space he needs. I have made it very clear that ill always be here waiting patiently. Thank you for all the love and support. In addition to the gospel, family, and friends, the posts have helped me through this heartache.

Hmmm.... for some reason the site wont allow me to correct my member profile. It keeps making me log in every time i click on "Edit Profile". Agh.... whatever.

Also, this may not impact how others think (i.e. relationship was based on infatuation and hormones)..... We connected mentally and emotionally before any intimacy took place. It was the week before he was sent home that any physical contact took place.

Im 26 years old. RMGuy thankyou, thank you, thank you for your post. This was the MOST helpful response of them all. I know he needs to repent. I know I need to repent. I now know he needs his space in order for his repentance to be of reverence. I understand all this. I was wrong to think he was mature enough to handle the situation spiritually and respectfully. BEYOND the LDS world, one has to understand the level of respect one should bestow upon the individual he/she was involved with. No one on this forum will truly know the connection we had. So, Im not going to try to make you believe it was real. I want everyone to know, I would have been more at peace if the break up was over the phone with a better of explanation of what's going on in his head -and I would have left it at that. I was left in the dark with one cryptic message from him. I was given no solace, and no compassion. All I wanted was answers. It's sad that I had to search for answers via an LDS forum.

Im an optimist and romantic at heart. So I did contact him many times and got no response. Its only been 3 days. I wrote my last letter to him today. I didn't say that it was over. I didn't say it was the last time he would hear from me. All I said was, if and when he is ready for my love, Id be waiting patiently. Of course im not a doormat. Waiting patiently for me still translates to a certain time limit. <SIGH> So, for those who think I should end it. He beat me to it. And as for me, I've pleaded and reasoned all I could. Only time will tell what will happen next. I pray every chance I get for some peace or answer as to why this all happened. I even pray for a definite answer on whether or not he will come back for me. (yeah i know. pathetic. what can i say?) If he does come back, Im gonna post it on this thread for my amusement. :) I still have a sense of humor even though my heart is broken. Thanks for all the love and advice guys.

Actually I did think we were still gonna be together. And I did know that any plans for marriage or temple sealing would have been pushed. I normally don't factor in logic when it comes to love. I was surprised. Yes, I was very surprised. I guess being a new convert I dont understand how deeply faith plays a role in way of repentance. To give up the person you love to show you are truly sorry is a sad thing to do IMO. I thought we would both work on our relationship while getting back into the church. Why throw in the trauma of leaving the love of your life? IMO its like adding insult to injury. Honestly. Im waiting for him to come around. He hasnt responded to any of my messages. I did add that if he wanted me to really forget him and leave him alone indefinitely, all he had to do was say yes. So far no response. Id like to assume, he is still thinking about it. More time needs to pass. The bishop advised I should just let things settle, and more than likely contact will be made.

Im a newly converted member of LDS church. I fell in love with a missionary, whose return date would have been towards the end of December '11. I never had the intention of having a relationship with this missionary as I respected the rules of engagement i.e. the missionary rules. But, he pursued me relentlessly via text. Over the course of a month and a half we had grown very close and fell in love. We complimented each other very well and understood each other. We even discussed our family life, and knew well the dynamics of our families. Our future was planned. There was a wedding date. A date for getting sealed in the temple. Where we would live. He pledged his undying love. And we both had a mutual feeling that this was true love. (we both had had many prior relationships to know that what we were feeling was real) Well. Just last week, the missionary president found out about the text, and of course he told them everything, including our sexual transgression. He was then later immediately sent home, and disfellowshipped from his church. He wrote me upon his return... he had a lot to do to get back into the church, and as for our relationship he said, "As for things with us. I feel we need to forsake options that we had previously held. To much regret but my life is now in a place where it wont work. I am sorry. I know that what I have done was wrong and I am so sorry for all the hurt i have caused. stay strong in the church. I hope you will. and I will always be here as your friend." Of course Im hurt. I didnt understand what he was going through. And how someone who had spent almost every minute pledging his love for me, to planning our lives together, thinking of family vacations, events, places to live, even coming up with the names of our kids and our pet cat -could all of a sudden decide to end it. Can someone explain to me what might be going on in this guys head? Any advice? (before anyone starts judging me. i did in fact talk to my bishop. i have work to do myself. and i regret for not being the better person and resist the temptation when it came)