velvet

update: 3 years later time healed this one. Interesting now though, we are dealing with another sister who has gone apostate and has disowned us because we called her on her bashing the general authorities and calling them liars. She lost her recommend and is blaming us sisters because a couple of them talked to her bishop in concern over her posting bashings of the church on social media. It's never boring with 7 sisters thats for sure.

It is not your job to fix her, she needs fixing for sure. You can stand by her if she wants or acknowledges she has REAL problem but if she is not willing to get help then you will just be sucked in to an eternal whirlwind of confusion and continued abuse.

If you are unsure of what to do... I would start logging her behaviour. She is messed up for sure and it is not your job in my opinion to "fix her" you can stand by her but she most certainly needs to get help.

Loudmouth_Mormon, Your guessing is 100% wrong, the track record we have has been amazing, never ever have we had a disagreement. She took me in when I was in my senior year, she has been such an amazing sister. I have tried to reciprocate her generosity and unselfishness in my own way. Just because she has been wonderful to me however, does not mean that I have to bully someone she deems unworthy of respect and kindness. I would never want my family or friends bullying someone who was mean to me, this is wrong and 2 wrongs don't make a right. I hate fighting so bad and I am disappointed and hurt but I'm getting over it. I know it is her problem. I have left it alone with the exception of making her a beautiful video and wrote her a song and posted it on her Facebook on her birthday. I know what I am doing is right, but it really is unfortunate as we were very close.

anatess they are not children. They are all adults 4/6 of them have 3 or 4 children of their own. There is no need to write nasty letters and try to "scare" her and then take the liberty to say that all of us siblings feel the same way. I am trying to carry on a positive relationship and show her our beliefs we all discussed before he died. Then my sister gets involved and tells her off and now wont talk to me because I disagree'd with her methods. Yes my sister in "common law" was being selfish but I'm not going to go along with bullying and contention over money, it is not worth it. As a result of me trying to do what I believe is right which is love, I am shunned and she does not talk to me anymore. I guess I'm not looking for advise, I just needed to get it out and have someone understand and agree that contention and bullying does no good. I still believe love is the key and that the adversary tries in all the ways he can to break up families. Unfortunately too often when a loved one dies we end up losing other loved ones over the material possessions and families go on a lifetime not talking to each other. I have reached out to her on several occasions and she avoids me. The sad thing is she is a stake RS president that does not see or want to see the hurt she has caused me. I will be fine and continue to put her name in the temple and pray for her. I just needed to vent, I don't want to talk to family because things then get blown out of proportion sometimes.

I have to admit I am very hurt that my sister 9 years my senior will not talk to me anymore. After our first adult sibling died she was agitated at the selfishness of his "common law wife" who was being greedy and trying to take more of her share of monies, properties act. (away from my brothers 5 adult children from previous marriages.) My sister got involved and I hear from other siblings she had written the "common law" wife a nasty letter and indicated all of the rest of the sibling felt this way..... I wrote the "common law" wife and told her I did not appreciate my sister writing a nasty letter to her and implying the rest of us shared her negative opinion of her. I apologized to her and told her regardless of what is going on, my brother loved her sooooooo much and I appreciated that she, in the past actually saved his life. My sister found out I apologized and then wrote me a nasty letter and said she did not appreciate that, when she was trying to "scare her". I replied saying the way she went about it was her business but her adding my name to some nasty letter was not her right. I am so disappointed in her justifications of her bullying another person and then getting mad at me because i did not support this...

are you still married? More info if you are willing to share?

I believe you Rochphot and I am sorry you are in this relationship. I don't know your situation or everyday life but my heart aches for you that you made the wrong decision in marriage and now have to live with that decision believing that there is someone better out there for you that you could love. I know you are trying to do "the right thing" by staying married for the kids sake and that is best for the kids so everyone says. I wanted to see my mom happy and I was sooooo glad when mom left dad (this was a physically and substance abusive marriage however) I just wanted mom to find someone to love her like I saw so many lds families had. I joined the church at age 11, 2 years after mom divorced dad and I wanted so badly for mom to be happy and to find a man that would treat her the way she deserved. I wanted more than anything to be in a home where the mom and dad were in love and showed their love, but all I saw was fighting and sadness. I'm glad she didn't stay unless of course dad was willing to give up his selfish passions, but he clearly did not want to, but my mom never found a man that treated her good. Food became her love and I felt so sorry for her my whole life. I don't have the answer for you obviously none of us do because we don't know the situation, I suspect there is more than just you not loving him. i suspect he loves or shows love to a tv or computer more than he does to you, but I certainly do not judge you but I feel for you my sister.

agreed

He is abusing you in my opinion. He is taking advantage of you, I do not have faith in men like this changing, so unless you can live like this for the rest of your life.... I am sure you have talked to him many times lovingly and calmly and you get so tired of him not listening that you get louder He will likely do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.

I agree here. I have been married for 25 years and I once again asked my husband to cut the cable and spend more time with me just this morning and he said he would not cut the cable. I told him I am thinking of moving out because I am for the first time attempting to take control of my life that I do not like because I take second burner to his tv/computer games. I don't know if I have the courage to do it, the only reason I hesitate is because of the children (2 at home 14 &16) 3 moved out. Your relationship mimics mine to a T. I remember being pregnant with baby #3 and working 3 jobs while he did not work. Do not have children with him now for sure. I believe the chances of him changing are super duper slim. You may want to get out while you can, this is not a marriage, you deserve better than this.

what reasons does he give for wanting a divorce?

Let him go, pray you are not pregnant and move on. You have done nothing wrong. For whatever reason he wants to end it so let him. Why "fight" for something that is not going to be there "fighting" for a relationship when the other one doesn't want it, is simply that, "a fight", and why not go your separate ways and have peace knowing you were innocent and still are.