Yehshen

And M - For What It's Worth - I investigated the church for around six months and was very much at peace when I told the missionaries to set up the baptism. Then, about 2 weeks from baptism, I started questioning everything. Who are these people? Who is this bishop? Will I lose myself? If I could have just relaxed!!!

Meerkatarmy: Am I right that you are the one getting baptized @ March 21? Congratulations! I converted about 2 years ago. At first I felt very uncomfortable going to RS. It is not as *predictable*, I guess, as the other 2 meetings. My RS is a little more talkative or maybe interactive than the other 2 sessions. Now I'm there and its ok, and I can't exactly say that anything has changed except I'm more comfortable. Certainly, there are those that don't go, but I would recommend hanging it a little longer to see if your perception changes. OH yes, and I was called to teach in RS once a month about a year ago. (Me? You want me? My initial comment). And by the way, my biggest dream when I teach is class participation. I would have loved it if I was teaching that session, if you would have said hey wait guys I don't understand. How is homelessness a willful sin? Because one thing I know: if you were sitting there having that thought, there were others in the room thinking the same thing.

In my experience (2 year convert in family ward), everyone is assigned a home teacher and a visiting teacher. It's the luck of the draw: good folks who will visit practically every month, and teachers who, for whatever reason, don't want to do it and never show up. I frankly think it would work better if the people who really don't want to do it would self-identify and take themselves out of program. So, right now, I have a very diligent home teacher, and a visiting teacher whom I wouldn't recognize if she sat down next to me at church - I have mentioned this to home teacher supervisor, who says she must be busy (guess so). My first year it was the reverse. I would try to get to know the members and let relationships build up naturally. If you haven't had the new member lessons you may want to ask about them.

I have limited arm and hand mobility. I have made the following adjustments: for the robe, I have it permanently tied. I just pull over my head. When switching shoulders, I don't take it off, just turn it and insert other arm. My problem is the shoulders tend to droop. No problem. Now I have velcro (picture drum major's shoulder epaullette (spelling?) I will warn you, this pulling over head bit, while it works, attracts unwarranted attention from temple workers. B ut it works!!

I am a new convert (2 years tomorrow). I am rather shy, and so when I went to the temple for the first time I told very few people. Later, people said to me they would have like to come with, if they had known. And I hadn't wanted to bother them. Just ask.

I hate when people give me that advice ... think about it and you will know the answer. I pay 10% on net income ... well not really. 10% of gross income seemed way too high. 10% of net income ... actually seems too low. I have reached the point where I feel I am doing the right thing. Interpretation on tithing issues is not going to go away as you earn more money. It might be better to clarify your thought process now.

Carolear, I, too, want to express how sorry I am to hear you are going through all of this. Being ill with its accompanying pain and disability is upsetting enough without going through abandonment either by loved ones or the church. Smudge said "One of my hardest struggles was not learning that the church was true but learning that despite other peoples actions the church is still true." and I have to agree. Some people are so uncomfortable with illness that they withdraw. Couple that with the Church's visiting/home teaching program, which is only as good as the individuals. So, if nobody shows up, that is not a statement about you....it's a statement about the individual visiting or home teacher (or bishop) either being not willing or not able to do their thing. I guess at the end of the day, however, we are all alone. Continue to pray, continue to go to church, or maybe I should say continue to search for a way to attend church. Maybe this group needs to have you put in their path.

Ms. Valerie: I converted to the Church about 2 years ago, and even my kindest friends label me anti-social. I have had no problems with acceptance, but as one of the earlier posters said, it was a bit of a challenge getting used to the "community" - which is very open and caring. Alas, the thing that attracts me about the LDS church is the community, but the community is very very social. So, I've had to set some ground rules. I don't want people visiting me - and I was originally freaked out when at baptism, I was told my address would be given to everyone. No!!!!! You know, its the old break up story: it's not you, it's me. But after two years everyone is tolerant of my wish to have home teaching/visiting teaching at church, in restauants, etc. I tell people I'm embarrassed that my house is messy (true enough) but basically I just am uncomfortable entertaining people. I would just tell people how you are feeling.

I love Dahlia's posts. I'm 58 and never been married. My marital status is never actively addressed, but's its duly noted. When I say "Oh I was such and such a place on Tuesday" with a friend, and everyone's ears perk right up. And I've been encouraged to go to the 31+ singles get t ogether in the stake. But I don't feel left out of things, or assigned callings in a different manner than the other women. The only time I have difficulty is when someone is trying to teach doctrine that says everyone must be married and sealed to get to the highest level....without putting in a politically correct = ahem, in this life or after.

I was surprized to learn this wasn't already happening on a regular basis, at least by appointment. I was a recent convert (about 18 months ago). I met the missionaries at the meeting house parking lot on my first visit, just to pick up the Book of Mormon, and they escorted me into the empty building and gave me a thorough tour. I'd never been to a meeting before, and it made me a lot more comfortable, having assessed the lay of the land, so to speak.

Same deal with me. I converted to the church in 2011, and went through the temple first in December 2012. My father's family had no Mormon members that I know of, were from some small Baptist belt community in Appalachia, but yet church members have everyone done that died more than 110 years ago. And some were done very recently -- in the Salt Lake temple. Some members tell me that I must have a distant relative somewhere - but I don't think so. I think the Church must be very industrious with extractions. So, yea, reserve those names!

Again, issue with spoilers It is Monday morning, and the last episode of the season aired last night. I love this show, and eagerly wait for each season to begin. I am furious with how this show ended ...the more cynical out there would call it a "clift hanger" designed to attract audiences for a forth season, but these people have become real in my eyes, and I was so disappointed. OK. To discuss the characters and the main plot. I would like to have lived in that time, to enjoy the lifestyle, assuming I was in the upper classes. However, my one big objection would be the inequality of women. What I didn't see anyone discuss is the central problem for this family is the "entail" - Lord Granson had no male heir and thus when he died, the family was at risk of losing its property. How frustrating that the women, therefore, need to develop their resources through either conniving or gentle persuasion. And so the middle daughter, Edith, with no fortune, is having trouble finding suitors deemed acceptable by the family - what I find so sad is that in almost every relationship she's had - even Sir Anthony - you worry that she is settling. Yes, she tells her family it doesn't matter that he's older and disabled from the war - but truly - she chased him and one wonders if part of that was desperation. It is also interesting to me that she appears to be growing leaps in bounds in intelligence and grace. And Mrs. Crowley is just annoying. I admire her forthright stance, and her progressive ideas. It was great to hire Ethel, and to call her cook's bluff when the cook refused to work with Ethel. But in the end she is just a busybody who tries to force her views on others. She really annoyed me when she set up the hospital in the manor house, and then tried to tell Lord Granthom that he couldn't keep his dog. I like the way that dog is always around...Perhaps the perk of being the Lord of the Manor, you can have your dog accompany you everywhere. And about the homosexuality..... You notice that sexual misbehaviour - whether homosexuality or extra marital - isn't condemned as a sin per se often, but rather the criticism is when it is apparent to other people. Appearances are everything. (Anyone not wanting to see = its not a big part of show).

I tried on the drisilque in the same size and it fits! (in fact is a micrometer big, which is good) --- especially if since I am hungry now and want to eat candy, i'm at severe risk of gaining weight!!! Thank you everyone for response!

Ladies - I have a question about how to get the best fit on garment tops. Right now I am strangling. I am overweight and carry my weight in my stomach. The ladies who work in the distribution center have measured me and measured me, and they swear they have sized me correctly. I think they are going by bra size (the fit there is ok but tight) but when I pull garment down to waist I can barely breathe it's so tight. Do I a. choose another material. Right now I've got Carinosa II (I know I've spelled that wrong). b. go up one or two sizes (but then wouldn't I have gaps (fabric too loose near bra) c. go to garments for pregnant ladies (same concern as b) d. get custom made, and/or e. get one piece garments (I didn't know they still made, but apparently they do).

Farmers have my sympathy; its hard enough to budget an irregular income, without having to worry about weather, unpredicted crop failures, etc. I changed jobs from government employment to being an independent contractor about ten years ago (when I was not a member of the church). My nominal income rose 30%; in reality, I stayed exactly the same, the extra money was intended (and expressly negotiated as part of contract) to cover business expenses or otherwise keep benefits like health insurance in place (normally paid by employer. I considered my actual salary not to include the business expenses or other reimbursements, altho obviously I pay taxes on the whole shebang and take a deduction. When I report my "salary" to my professional organization, as dues are based on salary, I don't include reimbursements for expenses. So when I joined the church, the answer was easy, I tithe on "salary" and not "salary" and money intended to cover the normal business expenses. IMHO, if you can objectively justify your thought process, you are good. It's between you and God.

I was actually in Sunday morning's session, high in rafters. I dozed for the 45 minutes before, then listened attentively, and cried thru whole thing. ..not necessarily just over sad stories of young children dying. Anybody else do this?

Oh my I am having a bad day at work today.....it is triggering my snarkiness Test Text to my Bishop Hey Man - Boy those kids are noisy during church. Can't you do anything? And money is tight these days - any chance the church can help out? You don't have to c me - just deposit in account #9999999. BTW, can you have it there by 2:00 p.m? Whoops, gotta go. Be seein' ya. Yeh Shen Maybe its generational - I hate texting. My offhand thought should be that one should follow the Bishop's lead in choice of communication. My Bishop seems to prefer e-mails on his Ipad - I think he uses his commuting time on the train to handle some of this work.

I have ordered House of Glory. Thanks for everyone's comments.

Just to clarify, I did edit some earlier posts, so if anyone's response seems non-responsive, it s my fault for causing confusion. I talked about a real life situation in my ward, and if someone is reading it, it might cause some hurt feelings. I don't know if I'm ready for temple or not, though I think it actually shows some maturity on my part to be carefully considering the meaning of what I agree to honor rather than just jumping automatically in the line at the end of the one year point. It is interesting to me that I am definitely seeing covenants described differently by different folks. The church manual - is it "Preparing for the Temple" = I think based on Boyd Packham's book = does anyone have additional reading recommendations?

Well, I guess the question is whether you can violate a covenant by thought alone, without action.

So I am approaching the end of my first year of membership as an adult convert in the church, and the bishop, or at least the ric, has invited me to attend the preparation for temple class, starting next week. And I am scared to death. None of this has anything technically to do with my question, but perhaps illustrates my state of mind. Members of my ward have defined covenants differently. Some focus on inspirational purposes. Other definitions seem overly narrow and not even consistent with Handbook II - such as it is always abandonment and violation of marital covenants to divorce. These latter comments make me leery (even though I am single with no plans of marriage. Its not the substance of these comments that bother me). I don't know, maybe I'm just anxious about the temple.

If you are feeling like a doormat (even asking question), that is your first warning sign to cut back. I'm in my first year of membership in church, but I don't think you are responsible for anything beside visiting and then communicating any perceived need to bishopric/quorum leaders. Having said that, I've struggled for years with a friend who is totally hopeless at money, keeps getting herself in stupid fixes, and then EXPECTS financial and other assistance at the drop of a hat....and not always for necessities. I finally took the position that I am not a bank, and no money from me. Guess what? She found more friends, all seemingly very generous for awhile. But during the time I was open to helping, I can tell you that every discreet problem seemed to warrant help, and I felt cheap and uncaring if I failed to do anything. It was only when I could see the pattern that I finally cut back. I think that is the value of bishopric/quorum leaders: they may be able to see a pattern that would justify assistance or denial of assistance, and takes the sole responsibility from you. In the unlikely event that I would loan money/give gifts, I would want to funnel through church and maintain anonyminity. On the other hand, I saw my home teacher once and he promptly disappeared. Perhaps I just didn't ask him for enough. My kitchen needs remodeling. Perhaps I should request such service from the next priesthood holder who is unforturnate enough to pass by my house:D

This sounds like a long term disfunctional family with emotional issues. I applaud you for trying to help, and yes, be there....but keep in mind some of this is learned behavior, including with the adult children. We teach people how to treat us, and that may explain the relationships between mom and children. Encourage this lady to see professional help.

You said: My main question is this: Is it common in Utah/ America for Bishops or a Counselor to the Bishop, to override what you know from Heavenly Father is best for your family and push or manipulate you into a calling? ..... And I'm an American in Australia, so a bit of Catholic/ social democratic culture clash. Cops here aren't used to being questioned either and the Counselor is a cop here. (FYI: cops here are armed but not the citizens, so ...). ..... I can't help but feel that, as an American, I am being bullied into knowing my "place" because I am a vocal, confident woman who knows her own value and married to a terrific, gentle bloke who treats my like the sun shines through me. My response: I've been in church for less than one year. I've never felt push or manipulated, or bullied by any one in the priesthood YET. However, I do on occasion experience it in everyday life outside the church. Some men are bigots. Sometimes it's not mean spirited, it's just than some men's entire mental process downplays the talents and needs of women. People in the church are just people, and I have a feeling one day I will encounter the problems you report. And I think the secret is just to ignore them. You have to listen to your own feelings. If you are feeling bullied, you can note and react accordingly. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your life. Having said that, I think the advice given on this board has been useful. Take care to sort through your perceptions...are the churchleaders really pressuring you or are you pressuring yourself because, well, frankly, you have a lot on your plate and want to be perfect?

I'm sorry you've been so sick! It's sometimes hard for me (as a single woman) to balance the needs in my life, and it must be triply hard with 2 kids under 3 with 1 breastfeeding. I do have some feedback for you (woman to woman)....but at the same time I'm not a parent and never worked in Sunday School and/or nursery, so i'm going to hang back and let more informed folks speak first.