Forget-Me-Not

I'm sorry I have not gotten back to this. Thank you for these very helpful suggestions. I have never used automatic writing to spur thought or encourage inspiration in writing, at least not deliberately. I can see, though, how it could be very useful. I also liked the idea of sitting and writing down everything one sees and hears and smells, etc. I tend to naturally take in my surroundings using the senses, being especially aware of them when I'm out in nature, but writing them down would be very helpful, possibly therapeutic too. I especially liked your example of automatic writing with my poem, the first line you wrote in particular. With having suspected elements of my poem having subconscious meaning where my life is concerned, the moment I read that first line you shared, I felt it almost prophetic and since then it now seems more so. Anyway, thank you. I think now I might be able to begin to write more of the poem and think I'll be able to give it the ending I want for it, as well. :)

That's very interesting, especially not knowing how other poet's stories unfold for them. Maybe I should try writing the ending of this one next, since I just don't want it to end sadly and I've been afraid it might. Then I can figure out what happened in between. I don't know if that will be easier or harder for me, though, since I've only ever written from the beginning onward to the end. Maybe I'll try it. :)

I seldom let others see a poem I have not finished, but this one tells enough of a story that I thought I would. Ordinarily I write most of my poems in one sitting, but this one was already quite long and far from finished when I had other things to tend to and had to stop. Poem - unfinished Upon a fair day long since past I wandered down the hill below And stepping lightly on the path Beyond where yonder heather grow I felt the breeze upon my cheek While breathing deep of sea foam scent And saw the whales as they breached Afar off and the waters rent Then sat I on the dampened shore With my bare feet thin caked with sand And spread the grasses by my side To pick the shells washed up in hand The gulls above they raised their cries While hovering on the air aloft With waves beneath that gently rolled To wet the sand and smooth it soft Then off down toward the cliffs abreast I glimpsed him walking fast apace His head was bowed low to his chest A growth of beard upon his face I wondered of this stranger tall With cap of gray pulled o're his eyes Where of he came in tattered clothes From down the shore neath fairest skies I watched him pause beside a rock And then bend slowly to the ground An object from his pocket brought Then dug a hole and put it down And covered where his treasure lay Then gently stood again to stare Upon the earth as if to bid A long farewell to one most fair The shells I dropped from out my hand And stood to watch him walk away Not quickly as he'd come at first But slowly in the set of day Watched I until he out of sight Beyond the jagged rocky crop In thought I tarried longer yet With wondering I could not make stop But light by then was dim with eve So to my cottage made my way To wait and see what I might find Beneath the earth another day I put me water on to heat And then my evening supper spread Of golden cheese and coddled milk And on my plate laid heavy bread I supped my fill and then did bathe To wash the sand from off my skin Reclined to rest in water warm Reflecting in the fire coal dim That night to bed I finally crept But slumber it did slip from me With thoughts of he I'd seen that day Intruding and were scarce to flee For days that followed life kept pull Where labors of their burden lay But thoughts I could not keep without Of what he planted on that day And too, of him, where had he gone When past the cliffs beyond my sight What place had he come traveling from There to return by dark of night But then upon an early morn When no work called to summon me I made my way down to the place Beside the rock along the sea Wence it had beckoned me for days But finally there I stood beside To wonder what was hidden there Within the ground above the tide Down to my knees I dropped to kneel And gently moved the earth away And there within the hole he'd dug Found I a small brown pouch did lay I lifted it and then untied The cord that held it knotted tight Reached in my fingers and withdrew An object wrapped in linen white And when exposed twas sure mine eyes Had not before such beauty seen A brooch of shell that set in gold Of lace design and costly gleam Within were found the purest shades Of blue as that of sea and sky Atop, by labored carver's skill In white and holding flowers nigh Beheld a lady... That's as far as I got. When a friend read it she said, "Finish it! Finish it! I want to know how it ends!" At the time, though, I wasn't sure I wanted to know the ending, afraid it might end badly. I don't know what other people see in their mind as they write, but usually for me I begin a poem without having any idea where it will go and only find out as it unfolds before me. For, example, I did not see the man's face to know what he looks like, other than that he has a growth of beard. I don't know if I will see him again either, to find out. I also have no idea yet what the brooch meant to him or why he buried it. Because of certain elements to this poem, though, I suspect there may be subconscious meaning to it, so I decided to wait awhile before attempting to finish it.

Thank you. I've had friends say I have a gift or talent and that I should publish, but I wouldn't begin to know how to go about that. Clearly, though, there is much about poetry to be learned that I had no idea of. I also do not know how to properly punctuate my poetry, having a tendency to place a comma at any slight pause. Because of that I usually remove most or all punctuation before posting, preferring to have none rather than to show all my errors, lol.

Oh my! That was mournfully beautiful.

Thank you :)

Thank you. This poem is one of special meaning for me, as is probably obvious. I wrote my first poem when I was 4 years old, though I could not yet write. But, the poem came to me one night as I was supposed to be sleeping and when it did I had to get up and go tell it to my mother and she wrote it down for me. I may have written a few little things in grade school as assignments. Probably also when making cards for my mother as a child I may have written a verse or two. But I really didn't start writing poetry until I was about 25 and then, still, infrequently. I've have not written that many either. I'd say, probably 35 or so is all and most of those are fairly recent, in the last few years.

That's interesting, I guess I didn't realize there were categories. I mean, I've read and noticed differences with some poetry having a rhythm though no rhyme, while some rhymes though may or may not be rhythmic, etc., but I didn't realize the various forms involved much beyond either that which rhymes and that which does not. I know little about poetry, have never studied. I've just always loved poetry and it seems to be a natural means of expression for me. When I want to say something import or of deep or personal meaning, I tend naturally to revert to poetry in order to express it. I don't know why, other than my mother wrote poetry, as well as hymns, both lyrics & music.

I very much enjoyed your poem. I'm not good at free style so I like seeing how others write it. Also, though every season has things I love, I think I enjoy autumn the most and reading your poem was like walking through the woods along the river on a beautiful fall day.

I don't know if this was a, "Mormon Glow," but some years back while at a stake choir practice for conference, a sister I didn't know and had never seen before approached me in the choir loft excitedly saying, "I knew it! I just knew you were LDS!" She then proceeded to explain that some time before that she had seen me in town in some store while she was out shopping and said that when she saw me she was certain I had to be LDS. I remember thinking, "Wow, even me? Even flawed, imperfect, struggling me radiates something of the Spirit and the things of the soul to others?" It was a very humbling experience and I was grateful to think if that was so, maybe I was of more value and influence to others around me in this world than I ever might have thought.

Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Thanks. I'd never thought to write a Christmas poem before but yesterday I just felt compelled. As often happens when I write poetry it came quite easily after I prayed for help, so I don't ever feel I can take much credit. :)

The Gift A wooden box came tied with twine And wrapped in shredded burlap old "Within a priceless gift you'll find" The writing on a note had told I wondered what could be of worth Inside a splintered box of wood So cut the wrapping and the twine And then in silence there I stood A small and simple manger found It lined with straw of dusty mold But laid within a gift beyond The cost of gem or purest gold Twas just an old worn figurine Of porcelain dull and chipped with time But nothing could have had more worth To touch my soul with love sublime My treasures I did gently clean And place beneath a costly tree But from that moment crystal balls And shiny ribbons did not see I saw instead His perfect glow And felt His warmth beyond compare Because He came a humble babe To cleanse my sins and sorrows bear How much the world and all its things Had stripped that beauty from my sight But now once more to see and feel The splendor of His perfect light The One who gave His life for me Whose perfect love my ransom paid The humble babe of Bethlehem Who in a simple manger laid

This made me think of my uncle and his wife. He met her while in the military and stationed in Japan. When they met she could speak no English and he only knew a handful of words in Japanese, but love blossomed even without a shared language, as well as without a shared culture or faith. He was Lutheran, she was Buddhist. Upon bringing his bride to America it proved to be a very difficult cultural change and adjustment for her and also very hard for her to move so far away from her family. But, love being what it is, or can be, she was completely devoted to my uncle. Fortunately, too, my uncle adored her and did all he could to see to it that she was able to travel home to see her family as often as possible. As much as she missed them, though, she and my uncle were very happy and though America was always a foreign land to her, it became her home because it was his. They had one child, who was their world. She was killed in a car accident shortly after entering the military and then some years later my uncle passed, but his wife stayed on in America for the remainder of her life, even though she could have gone back to Japan to spend several more years of her life with her family she so missed and loved. But I don't think leaving the place her husband and daughter were buried was something she could bring herself to do either. Love truly can conquer all, but it can sometimes be a difficult road of sacrifices along the way. I don't know how to advise you on ways to discuss things with your parents, though something like Loudmouth_Mormon's simple and forthright approach sounds best. Things such as marriage, religion, and having a child move far from home can all be difficult for families to accept sometimes, though, so all of this could be challenging for you, depending on their reaction, so I'd just say be prayerful and let the Lord guide your thoughts, words, and steps. As for leaving your country, if or when you do, I would suggest maybe finding a group or organization that reflects your culture and heritage to become involved with. That can be helpful in not feeling as much loss at the changes immigrating to a new country can bring. I would also think those kinds of ties, especially if family is not accepting of one's decisions and where estrangement sometimes occurs, can help keep one from feeling so adrift, alone, or abandoned in a strange land without ties with their family or friends. P.S. The temple work has been done for my uncle, his wife, and their daughter. :)

You Just ask of me, I'll walk a mile Nay, I shall make it twain Or call to me in dark of night I'll rush to soothe your pain Awake me from the deepest sleep I'll gladly ease your fear Cry out and I will run to you However far or near You're as a golden fleece to me A chalice fine and rare A treasured stone, a costly gem A pearl beyond compare And naught could dim you in my eyes No storm could have a part No loss of fortune, weakness, flaw Could tear you from my heart No suffering I would not endure No hardship, sorrow, grief To reach, to touch, to comfort you As balm for your relief Could never look away from you Nor see you without seeing As silver thread you're woven In the fibres of my being

I'm glad you posted. #3 is just what I needed to be reminded of today. :)

This is the hard thing, I think. The faith and trust in God. What I mean, is, that it can seem, and often be, so easy to feel trust in God in knowing how one should live and behave in life generally, as far as what they should do in trusting God in other matters, i.e. love of God, love of one's fellowman, not judging, being honest and all the general dos and don'ts. And, in that, feeling the confidence of knowing the Lord's will and endeavoring to do it and feeling all will be well. Seems we can often have trust in God in those things, along with that sense of assurance and reassurance, that we're doing His will. But, for some reason, when it comes to something that is actually so personal to ourselves as is marriage and love between a man and woman, with such far reaching consequences, no less, that seems to be, for me, at least, where my faith and trust in God falters. He can tell me something clearly and distinctly, even, yet, in spite of that I guess my fear to trust kicks in and in time I begin to question and doubt. Though maybe that's where most of us are tried in our faith and trust in God and maybe that's because we're so of this world at present. It's so much easier to do what is clearly spelled out in scripture, let's say, but when it comes to personal revelation, that's when our faith is truly tested, I suppose, and when our lack of trust in God can become evident to ourselves. Though maybe it's not even a lack of trust in God, so much, but in ourselves? Just some thoughts I've been grappling with of late, about how much one does trust God, or dares to, anyway... :)

Oh, as per how I would feel or what I would do if I was in the religious minority? Well, I have great respect for people of all religious faiths, always having admired those who are devout and strive to live according to their beliefs. So, let us say I lived in an Islamic country. Would I be offended by children singing a song that reflected that faith? No, I certainly would not. As a matter of fact, if I lived in an Islamic country, I would gladly take advantage of pausing and praying to my Heavenly Father and thanking He and my Lord whenever I heard the call to prayer. Actually, I already do something akin to this. Nearly 25 years ago I was feeling rather sorrowful because of the isolation I was living in at the time and my inability to be of more service to others, when, I was moved upon and inspired by the realization that whenever I heard a siren, someone was potentially in trouble. So - I took to praying whenever a siren would sound, praying for whoever was in trouble and for those being sent to help. It quickly became a habit that I've continued all the years since. Now I happen to live a stone's throw from a fire station, so, as it is, I am usually called to prayer multiple times each day.

I remember one Saturday when I was just a little girl that my father, in rare form, was actually at home. He was laying on the couch and drinking a beer as a ballgame was about to start. When the national anthem began it moved my tender child heart, but my father seemed oblivious to it, still lounging, drinking, and scratching himself as it played. Even as such a young child I had a deep love of my country and flag and I was hurt by what I perceived as such a lack of reverence shown by my father. So wounded, in fact, that I went into the kitchen to hide behind the refrigerator to cry, as I also stood holding my little hand over my heart until the anthem finished playing. Yet the lyrics to the song God Bless The USA are "not age appropriate" for little children? Might be "a little over the head" of your average elementary schooler? If that is so, it's the fault of adults who lack sufficient respect to instill such things in the minds and hearts of the children in their charge.

Thank you Pam. I'd never had occasion to attend a flag retiring ceremony until the year I was asked to write this poem for one held during a 4th of July celebration. It was a very solemn, moving, thing to witness. One which couldn't help but instill an even deeper love and reverence for our flag and something I wish every American could experience at least once in their lifetime. Here's a link with several boy scout flag retiring ceremonies listed. If anyone has an opportunity to attend one, or has charge of arranging a patriotic program for church or community, I would encourage considering it. Boy Scout Flag Retirement Ceremonies

I like that. Sure miss my piano. It's been in storage for over eight years. Here's one... Produced by Drew Reese - ReverbNation (Ninety & Nine by Stephanie Smith)

My Flag Oh my dear flag, you mean to me More than I can describe Emotions deep within my soul Your beauty doth imbibe Your splendid colors stand alone To move the mind and heart To help us rise above ourselves And greater things impart In children's hands you're tightly clasped As marching bands pass by You're raised on porch and building front On mast and tower high Upon the moon, so far away Each passing day and night You stand as silent sentinel Though far beyond our sight You've led soldiers into battle Given courage amidst war You've been draped, a shroud, on caskets As our fallen men we bore You've been the inspiration To each patriot heart that beats And when peace has come you've been there As we danced in city streets I think of all the lands and seas Where you have stately flown Majestic in your quiet strength A symbol of our home A home, a land, where we are free To live and work and love A land where each is given place To worship God above That God, who giveth freedom To the minds and souls of men Who would, in wisdom, have us free To serve a nobler end My flag, Our Flag, what other sight Can give the heart such thrill? For freedom's cause, to us, you live and breathe And ever will With tomorrow being flag day I thought I'd share. I've always loved my country's flag from as far back as I can remember as a very small child, but came to write this poem after being asked to write something in honor of it for a flag retiring ceremony in 2002. It was one of the most difficult poems I've done because of the deep emotions it brought on and I wept all through the writing of it. Very emotional writing task.

I very much appreciate your input. I'm also very sorry for what you went through. I don't know what the future holds for me, or for this man, but when I listen to the Lord in how I should deal with him, that's when I have peace over the matter, so giving up is not something I feel to do at this point, though that doesn't mean it will always be so. I do know that I have to make a life for myself. So that's what I need to figure out how to do. It's hard to start all over again, but I must, whether I ever have this man in my life or not. Thank you Sunshine. :)

So sorry I ended up making such a long post again...Thank you. It's helpful to have perspectives beyond my own and with almost no one to talk to of this, I do very much appreciate the input from all of you. I also understand why it would seem time to let go and move on, too, I do. If this were someone else's tale of woe, I would likely find it quite sad that they'd be clinging to hope when things appeared as futile as this looks to be and would hate to imagine them wasting time on this one man when there's a world out there where plenty of good and emotionally available men surely must exist. Oh, I hasten to add that's not to say I think a woman can't live a happy and fulfilled life without a man there to make her happy. Actually I was convinced for years that if anything were to happen to my husband, I felt I'd be quite content to live the rest of my life alone, even sure I would prefer it that way. But, then, when the only man you realize you've ever truly loved (but loved from afar for over a decade) confesses to you he loves you and has for far longer than that, well, your perspective can change quite dramatically. But, in light of what you said about listening to the one who matters and asking Heavenly Father's help on the matter, I guess I'll relent and add a couple more pieces of the story with two experiences I had pertaining to it. I've sought guidance by way of prayer all along and these experiences were singular and profound, but that's part of the problem. Well, not that the experiences are part of the problem. I am, because of my tendency to succumb to doubt. So instead of asking why a man runs from a woman he loves, maybe I should have started a thread asking how one refrains from succumbing to doubting the Lord when things begin to look hopeless. Anyway, yes, Heavenly Father is definitely the only one who can help either this man, or me. So maybe with what I add it will help make it a little more clear as to why I haven't yet given up. There are days I wish I could give up, days I do want to because it can be so hard, but the truth is, doubting has actually the biggest trial for me in all of this. Patience has never been my long suit, but I do have the capacity for it, if I must, just the same. The worst, though, is when I let doubt overtake me and then I can easily plunge into a sense of hopelessness and despair and that is what I'm having the greatest trouble living through and overcoming it seems. I did hesitate talking about these experiences before as not only are they very personal, but there have been even those in the faith who are doubtful enough to attempt to convince me I only imagined them. I didn't and I know that, but being the imperfect human being I am and with having most everything I've ever wanted in life denied me thus far, I tend to be even more susceptible to doubt, I think, feeling if I really want something, I'm not going to be allowed to have it. I know that there is nothing impossible for the Lord, but when I succumb to doubt, despair follows, which may actually be because I am doubting the Lord himself. So, to add... When I first realized what I felt for this man I was absolutely horrified because I was a married woman at the time. I should add that there was no impropriety of any kind that led to this. I was committed to marriage for life (having married a non-LDS man) in spite of our problems. But since I also understood the weakness of human nature, I was always very careful in all I did as far as contact with the opposite was sex was concerned, being very aware that no one is immune from risk in forming emotional attachments to others that could lead to romantic feelings. Since such feelings could easily then lead to the disaster of adultery, I had always made it a point to use extreme caution to avoid any situation at all that could put me at risk for developing feelings for somone else. So, to continue, being horrified, as I said, at discovering I had fallen in love with a man not my husband, I spent the next year in agony praying, pleading that those feelings be removed from me, while doing all I could to bring that about. Then on one especially hard day I was in such anguish I was literally crying out to Heavenly Father, not knowing what to do, when the Spirit spoke, not in an audible voice, but to my mind, and very strongly and powerfully, but so lovingly and filled with compassion, speaking the words, "Wait upon the Lord." That was all. Those feelings were not removed, but I was filled with peace and comfort in knowing the Lord was aware of my plight and that I was under no condemnation for my feelings of love for this man. That experience enabled me to lay it all aside and leave it in the hands of the Lord and live my life the best I could for the next several years, thinking at the time that if there was any hope for me and this man, it would have to come in the hear after anyway, since to my knowledge he had no such feelings for me. That changed, of course, after this man confessed his own feelings for me and then when I confessed mine for him, there was finally hope, for both of us, for the first time and things were wonderful and we were looking ahead to the future, until he began to back away and then to run. Eventually, with that I then began to doubt sufficiently to sink into a low enough state that I felt pretty much forced to give up altogether. That brings me to the second experience. I awoke feeling ill one Sunday morning, with not only being very discouraged and depressed over the hopeless state of my personal life, as I saw it, but also with feeling physically ill with a great deal of abdominal distress, churning, and painful burning in my stomach and abdomen, so I decided rather than go to church I would stay in bed and rest. Finally, though, with feeling strongly in need of the sacrament, I made myself get up and go to church anyway. With all the sacrament hymns we could have sung that day, we had to sing I Stand All Amazed, a hymn I absolutely love, but one that never ceases to bring me to tears. So, feeling very emotional as the sacrament began to be passed, I began to plead with my Heavenly Father in prayer, asking that if this man and I were not meant to be to please help me overcome the feelings of love I had for him so that I could move on. But, if there was yet hope, that if it was the Lord's will that we be together, to please give me the peace I needed to get through things in the meantime. Upon concluding that prayer, the sweetest sensation of peace began to overtake me, which washed down through my torso. It was a literal physical sensation, which began just under my colar bones and washed slowly down to just below my navel, and as it did, it completely soothed and washed away the pain, discomfort, and burning in my stomach and abdomen as it went, as well as filling me with the most beautiful sense of comfort emotionally. I was in awe and began thanking my Heavenly Father in profound gratitude. But, believe it or not, doubt immediately seized me and I questioned if I had actually just experienced what I had. I mean, I knew I had, I still felt the peace, but the experience was just so beautiful I could hardly believe it could have happened, so I prayed the same prayer again in my doubt, with the same sweet sensation of peace washing down through me as before, though softer, as if a tender reassurance. The comfort I had from that experience sustained me for quite a few months, but, as time passed and things with this man seemed to deteriorate further looking more and more bleak, especially once he said we wouldn't work and that I wanted something from him he'd never be able to give me and then with quitting talking to me altogether, I began to lose hope and trust enough to sink back into despair once more and that's where I've been finding myself trapped again of late.

You need to be the one who sets the limits, so you really need to think seriously about what it is you truly want, now as well as in the future. Being a member of the church, a priesthood holder, and having been endowed in the temple of the Lord, you should well know you have the far greater responsibility to not allow for risks that can lead to sin, especially when this is not only about you. While this girl's degree of understanding may not be as your own, she is still accountable for her part if and/or when the two of you cross the chastity line, as per that degree of understanding. Even so, especially with you having the greater light you will also bear the responsibility of encouraging a daughter of God to violate His laws. If you truly care for this girl, would you really want to do things that help persuade her to commit sin? That she would be agreeable, as per backing off, as well as you saying she really wants to help you return to the temple, it sounds as though she cares about you a great deal, as well as seeming to have a good and trusting heart, so I would say it behooves you to not take advantage of that situation by letting your desires and passions influence your actions in ways that could harm not only yourself, but her as well. I'm glad you're going to see your bishop. Do not let other busy life things get in the way of that either. There is nothing shameful about being a human being with weaknesses that include desires of the flesh. We all have them in one way or another and to one degree or another. But often we can easily forget how our own acts can influence and harm others in ways that we would really not want if we stopped to think about the ramifications.