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Everything posted by Hala401

  1. I am sickened by all this. And when I went to talk to some Muslims I know, it made me feel even more sad. I am like so totally, absolutely, completely, irrevocably done with Islam. I had been using Hijab when I see them to not offend. I am done with it. Shockingly, Mormons I know are much more loving and forgiving toward them than I am right now.
  2. Reluctantly, I am for the wrong side. I cancelled both FB accounts because of it. And, you know what, I still live. It just makes me sad that people do not sit down and do solid research into the issues.
  3. Oh, I've had that happen. A lot happens in 65 years.
  4. Most people do not realise what the church rescued me from, how full of despair I felt, how close I was to the unthinkable. Middle Eastern culture had me so messed up and so programmed to see myself as a lesser being. Encountering kind, literate, and non abusive men who treated me as a princess, left me totally astonished. So now, If there is a chance to kneel in adoration of Heavenly Father, I take it.
  5. When I was being taught by the Missionaries, we kneeled until they started bringing shaperones that were too old to do so.
  6. I well remember the events surrounding my meeting the Sister Missionaries in Kirtland, Ohio. After what I experienced at the Temple there, I believe anything like that.
  7. I do not see it as a paradox at all, rather as a matter of personal opinion. I endured over 30 years of being forced to walk exactly in the foot steps of doctrinal opinion as visioned by someone who thought they could force me, or call me a heretic. Not again. After taking a breath, respectfully I submit that it is not a matter of unbelief, but Heavenly Father rescued me from such emptiness and hell, that I just can not fathom ever being his equal.
  8. This is mostly coming from memory, so may be somewhat faulty. In 2 Kings 2:1-12 we have Elijah taken up into heaven, and I always thought that was interesting. Something I have never forgotten is that one of my Bible teachers, when I was initially Christian said that the Priest of Melchizedek was a "type of Christ". Now the meaning of "type" in that context has never been clear to me. One teacher even told me that it was his personal opinion that he was Jesus Christ. Interestingly, I did not find reference to John still being alive today, so it must be an LDS doctrine. I have no issue with that.
  9. Without a doubt things have happened to me in the LDS church that never happened to me in over 40 years of religious experience. There is something special about this church and I hope that I never forget it.
  10. I'm reading in 3 Nephi 28 where they mention The Three Nephites. I had not heard of this before and find it interesting. The previous chapter felt like a paraphrase of the book of Matthew, and that is not a problem to me because it follows that Jesus Christ would have similar things to say to his church in the Americas as he said in the Middle East. In the case of The Three Nephites, this is not the first time I have heard this concept. The Shia Muslims believe that the 12th Imam, The Mahdi is still alive on the earth. I am just providing the previous as a point of interest and it is not intended to in any way detract from LDS doctrine. So, are the three ever referred to again, or are they simply ministering quietly? I must say that 3 Nephi, for some reason has been a trudge for me and I have learned a lot from it.
  11. Oh, I most certainly agree. I was NON LDS christian for over 30 years, and heard lots of anti Mormon hate talk. Then I was Muslim for seven years. Muslims are absolutely adamant that there is God (Allah SWT) and there is no one above him. Do, since I converted, I now know that this is Jesus Christ's church, but still find myself really sensitive to any talk about being equal with Heavenly Father.
  12. It's a one way thing for me. Heavenly Father can say I am equal, but I will always have the same respect and adoration for him.
  13. I knew that, but also hope that we own it again soon. When I was there, the tour guide alluded to the idea that the LDS church had helped a lot in the restoration of it, and it was easy to see what was original and what was not, though the restoration work was very well done. His explanation around the financing and building of the Temple was not complementary, but it did cause me to do substantial research. In the end, I concluded that despite his negative view point of the development of events was not called for as there were extenuating circumstances in my opinion. I've recieved a lot of condemnation and rejection in my life, so know what that feels like. It is doubly wounding when the various factions will not allow the accused to defend themself.
  14. Perhaps the Kirtland Temple, which we hope to own again soon, is not seen in the same context as the rest of the temples. I did pay $3 to tour that temple and felt as if I were some where special. It is impossible to be in that Temple and not catch the vision that our Prophet had, in my opinion. I do remember, I think going to the second floor but It seems as if the basic design of a temple has changed since the 1830's. It's odd because I usually have my tiny Canon camera set to not flash, click or make any rude noises so I can take pictures without disturbing anyone or when I'm not supposed to. :) It would be no surprise to some of you that for some reason, I did not take pictures that day. I was still Muslim then and they allowed me in. :) I've experienced a lot of things in my life that at first seemed silly, but it later became clear that they were not. I've had "things" happen to me as an Investigator and as a new member.
  15. The issue with my getting caught in the buff in my own house at my own pool would not be one of lust but of "Ick, someone hide that!"
  16. Within the limits of my understanding, I may one day stand and talk to Heavenly Father, but I will never consider myself his equal. I am not trying to be a heretic, just trying to understand and right now feeling overwhelmed.
  17. So, Sunday I was sitting in Sacrement service and one of the Sisters is speaking. She used the phrase, "I will be like God". She was in the Celestial room and had intended to kneel to pray to Heavenly Father, and was corrected, and told that since we are equal with Heavenly Father we do not kneel in his place. I will say, that I am absolutely LDS and believe in the church. This one item is a hard stop for me. People can say that I do not understand and that may be true, but right now, I have no plans to ever enter the Celestial Room full stop It passes my understanding how we could ever in the next 10 million years ever assume to be like the one who was around for the scientifically provable big bang, created all things all the planets and all life. I give you Isaiah 14:14, Ezekiel 28:2 I am convince able, just not easily.
  18. With all due respect, we were born buck naked, so if no one is watching, other than your husband, who cares?
  19. OK, I know that this is going to sound strange, but I had to do some internet search to find out what Twilight was. I did not see it. Vampire movies are just too icky to me. And romance centered around the killing of others by draining their blood? OH MY GOSH, where do they get this stuff? I think the reason that I did not see it is that it felt evil, and I was brand new with the LDS and thankful, and wide eyed, and most certainly did not want to do anything to spoil this new relationship that had me star struck.
  20. In real society, a torn shirt, done by girls will just give him bragging rights, and possibly make him big headed and impossible to deal with. :) In many cultures outside the US, one of the informal social mores is that every girl is taught is that men are animals and it is up to her not to arouse the dragon. Even in the US, there seems to be a primal edict that if a girl has a problem with a boy, it is her fault. It is a relatively recent phenomenon where our society seems to be accepting the idea that it is up to the guy to behave toward women. STILL, you won't find me wondering the streets alone at night.
  21. Looks like Taylor Lautner and he is complaining !?! Someone smack that boy. :)
  22. I don't care if someone knows this about me. After my divorce, I was in therapy once a week for 3 hours for 4 years. And your vocabulary makes it sound as if you are in a program that is similar to what I did. It has helped me a lot, and normally practicing Radical Acceptance, and Distraction would have pulled me out. It's still really easy to make me feel guilty, and that combined with an especially bad couple of weeks with pain just drug me down. I have some really heavy drugs for the pain, but usually avoid using them unless there is no other alternative. Thank you for your kind words. Hala
  23. For a long time as a young adult, I was for abortion because I thought that no unwanted children should be born. and wished I had not been born. Then we had our first two, and gradually I could see that neither of us had the slightest clue about how to parent. I was really frightened because I knew I was not getting the job done, and the idea of damaging them sent chills up my back. Those children are the reason I sought help from Heavenly Father. It took a long time for Heavenly Father to penetrate my faults and I am afraid that the children were gone before He was finished with me. Children drag the best out of us, whether we want to give it or not.
  24. Oh, I know exactly why I am in such despair. I was married for 40 years. My family was the center of my life, and being cut off from them since 2004 has been really unbearable, but gradually, the pain seemed to numb somewhat. When I first started talking to Sister Missionaries in Kirtland, I could not even speak of them without a torrent of tears, but over the months, Heavenly Father healed me of the pain and allowed me to lead a normal life. It feels like this latest effort to reconcile with them, and the subsequent rejection, just tears at my soul in the most painful way imaginable. I can feel my resolve to not hurt myself eroding, so before it goes too far, too much drama, I've just talked to my counselor about drugs. It's been disappointing because they were stopped back in 2007
  25. So much of my effort in the last few years has gone into being up beat, supportive and sweet that I have attempted to ignore my own pain. Then along came the LDS church, and I thought that Heavenly Father had used it to heal all my pain, and to teach me to once again be outgoing, loving and sweet to others in a way that I never felt entitled to before. Better yet, those around me in my new faith acted like I was already that way, providing encouragement that had previously felt impossible. Someone encouraged me to try yet again to reconcile with my family, and after much fear and trepidation, a letter was written that took me two months. This effort was greeted with anger and rejection. Lately, I have wondered why I just did not end it back in 2004. (I promise that I will not do anything selfish and unholy) Confidence in myself is shaken, not my faith in Heavenly Father. So, knowing that probably everyone on this site has faced times of absolute despair, I am wondering how you coped with it, and how you recovered? Previously, I was on very heavy dosages of Psych Meds for about three years. I do not wish to do that again, but right now don't know if there is the inner strength to re-boot? How have you overcome absolute despair?