FunnySheila

Cool!!! I love monopoly, battleship, cluedo, scrabble, don't think I know any others... :-( Awww, it's horrible cause it's days like today that I actually want my little darlings to grow up so I can play a board game with them, or do something fun like most normal families do!!! At the moment when we play Trouble they'll cry if they don't get a 6 straight away, it is sooooo stressful and frustrating playing games with them at the moment, they take after me too much and are WAY too competitive! If we play a Wii game, again their co-ordination isn't great so they get bored. Catch the ball is ok, for the first 5 minutes, though they seem to last forever chucking it back and forth. And last but not least is their favourite game of Give Mummy a Heart Attack by Falling High Off of the Play Thingamajig at the Park Straight onto Your Face!!! It's hilarious, my little boy did it today, ended up with 1/2 of his forehead swollen and bruised, and he was fine and off playing in no time yelling, "Mummy, I'm STARVING!!!" for the thousandth time, but mummy (me) wanted to cry. I don't like these games any more, I say to them, and for some strange reason, they want to go back to playing Catch all day long!

Interesting FunkyTown, never heard of that Body disorder thing, thought people only usually wanted to cut off their body parts as part of psychosis. Will have to research it, sounds interesting, thanks for bringing to our attention! :) Isn't suicide rates high in those pre-op too though? A friend of mine (whom I haven't spoken to in over a year due to her moving interstate), was suicidal pre-op, and was suicidal post-op but not as much. I don't know, it is so hard seeing people in so much angst. Especially when they suffer from when they are little, convinced they are in the wrong body or try to mutilate genitalia etc...

I didn't grow up JW, but in another religious organisation (NOT lds neither), and when it was "discovered" (it was known earlier but no one wanted to deal with it and so no one said anything about it) when I was about 15/16 that my uncle had sexually abused me as a child, I was told that I now had demons in me (was hence given an exorcism that apparently did not "work") and was considered bound to my uncle for life in the same way that a wife is to her husband (even though as a child I was not capable of giving consent - so it's all nonsense - man I really want to use some bad lanuage right now!), not to mention the fact that I was blamed for having "seduced" him even though the abuse had started when I was about 4/5, and then on top of it all having family members believe him over me and telling me to "get over it" and "Oh no, he couldn't have possibly done it, he is soooo good with kids" DUH they are such dumbos! It's called grooming! Ugh. Found it very, very painful to say the least. What you describe for this girl with her experience with JW elders or leaders, or whatever they are called in their denomination, is not an uncommon experience for abuse victims (or survivours depending on how one likes to view it) when going to authority figures from almost any back-ground. It's horrible to say, but I'd say that it would even happen within our own church (LDS). I knew a girl who was Hari Krishna, who went through much the same thing, another from an evangellical church (I think AOG), and yet another who was Muslim, and in each case, they came up against authoritarian figures in the church, religious group, mosque, who would in essence, get them to "shut-up" and put them down as being to blame. I know of others who have been backed by their religious group/organisation which is awesome, but so sad to see girls and women and men and boys hushed up and blamed for sexual abuse in the name of religion. At the end of the day, people will use religion/religious views or beliefs, regardless of what religious back-ground it is from, as a means to an end to justify excusing or ignoring rape, or child-abuse, or domestic violence, or murder, or whatever else. People will also use false logic and arguments in the same manner, i.e. she was drunk at the party and had passed out so it's her fault that she was gang-raped etc... It is the people who do it. And people will suffer. Religion doesn't do it, although people can create some pretty horrendous dictates in a religion itself - but at the end of the day religion will just be used (by people) as a means to an end. So sad and ironic: sad because this is the main reason I left religion altogether in the first place, and ironic because it is one of the things that I resolved with Heavenly Father in the process of becoming a Mormon and hence how I am on here today. *Hugs* to your friend, I hope she is safe and well at the moment.

I don't know if you realise how hard and painful, and COSTLY and time-taking it is for someone who's had a sexual reassignment to get a reversal, not to mention the emotional toll on the person getting the reversal done. Imagine how hard it is for anyone, just anyone in general to come into the church and get baptised in the first place. There is so much change, so many expectations that you've never had before, so many things that are so different, it can be quite overwhelming at times. Imagine how much more difficult it would be for someone facing not only to have to face people judge them every day and struggling with feeling like in the wrong body (or after sexual reassignment, struggling with the continuing discrimination and bullying by peers because of having undergone a sexual reassignment) to not only have to deal with the day to day issues that come with being transgender/gender-confusion but also having to face the stringent demands that are put before them before they could have the holy-ghost as a gift or have all their sins washed away? I am greatful to Heavenly Father that the church isn't so stringent. I am greatful to Heavenly Father that those who are straight, gay, male, female, genderless, asexual, rich or poor can be baptised and receive the Holy Spirit. I have some great friends who are transgendered, and I can tell you, that the pain they feel before sexual reassignment of being in the wrong body from when they are little children, is immense. It is not as easy as many people assume and I don't believe as black and white as many would imagine.

Ugh, it's frustrating for me as a single mother having to always have to have another person present when the missionaries visit. I can understand the rules, but it's frustrating, especially when the other person requested to be present is someone I don't know well. It's especially frustrating when they can't find someone and have to cancel. Especially when they have to cancel dinner because so-and-so can't make it.

Also, on the issue of it being a sensitive topic for you I can relate. I had to break off a friendship with a friend a couple of months ago because she is currently in an abusive relationship. Have seen her husband hit her, and I just can't watch what's happening for her because having been in a violent relationship, watching it happen to her really upsets me and makes me want to take a baseball bat to him when I've seen him hurt her. So I'm sorry that it's close to home for you when she talks about the suicide-ideation, hope it doesn't touch on too many raw nerves for you. Again, *Hugs*, you are a wonderful person for being there for her. ::smile::

Ugh, I find runescape addictive! Never heard of Catan though lol.

So sorry you are having to go through this at the moment Gwendolyn, it can be difficult dealing with people who are going through something you've experienced (hope I read what you've said in this thread right). *Hugs* Unless you have good reasons to not believe her (like knowing someone is a chronic liar - known one girl like that who isn't LDS and got to the point where I couldn't believe a thing she said) support her by believing what she's said to you and just being an ear, unless of course you can't handle it (is too much). Personally, from experience, I know that the gospel, the scriptures, Heavenly Father can change so much in one's life. I know it has for me. Am going through a tough time at the moment due to stuff (stuff out of my control), but I know that if it wasn't for Heavenly Father, I'd probably be taking things alot worse than I am at the moment. I don't think it's denial of the impact of traumatic experiences to say that one's life has been imensely healed by the Heavenly Father, or the gospel, or revalation etc... for me, prior to and when I joined the church, I went from feeling completely abandoned by God, angry for feeling abandoned, to finally being able to start forgiving others for vile actions, and being able to make peace with the Heavenly Father. That doesn't mean though that one isn't going to go through hard times after conversion as anyone will tell you that mormons of all backgrounds and ages and life-experiences are going to at some point experience tough times, so tough that they may find themselves thinking about suicide etc... It can be hard when you come from a non-traumatic background to understand someone's perspective on stuff like suicide, suicide ideation of someone who does come from a traumatic back-ground. It can be hard for people to believe that person too, because it's much easier for someone whose back-ground is rosy or ok to cope with the idea that someone they know has been through traumatic experiences by disbelieving that person. I hope things go well for you with her, and hope that she finds the help she needs. You are an amazing person for being there for her even though the topic of suicide creeps you out and even though you doubt her honesty on that or other issues. Wish the whole world was filled with people like you! :-) P.S. oh and sorry if I've misunderstood anything you've tried to get accross on this thread, hope I haven't misread what you're trying to get accross, it's so hard on the internet to communicate well, so sorry again if anything I've said sounds offensive or misunderstanding because it's only meant well. Cheers :-D

Oh, I sooooo know what you mean LDSCubsFan!!! I too hate the constant diatribe on Satan this and Satan that. I too have a testimony that Satan exists but I don't feel the need to attribute every little thing that comes across my path that I would perceive as being "negative" to Satan. For example, a couple of weeks ago I woke up late for church - still got there on time, but I had barely enough time to get my kids and myself ready for church. Behold a sister proclaims, "It's Satan trying to stop you from coming to church!!!". Inside I gritted my teeth and smiled - hey she could be right, but who isn't to say that it wasn't just the fact that I have small children and am a single parent??? There is only one me to look after my kids, and only one me to prepare for my upcoming study-year, and only one me to read the scriptures and pray, and only one me to keep my home ship-shape, and only one me to keep some semblance of a social life and fulfill my duties by the church. Who's to say anyway, that things that we perceive as being "bad" or "negative" (and I'm talking about things like being late or almost late for church or other various things) weren't actually from Heavenly Father because He had foreknowledge that if say I woke up a little earlier and gone in a little earlier, that I might have had a car crash and ended up in a coma in some hospital instead??? That's the only "Satan" incident I can think of at the moment, but the comments of this nature in conversation are numerous. Sometimes when people start going on about "Satan made me do this or that", I feel like saying, "Why do we have to be so negative?" Why don't we praise or thank Heavenly Father instead of focusing on what Satan is doing all the time? Yeah, it sucks that I forgot to help my child prepare for her talk this morning, and you know what, it probably was Satan who influenced me to forget until 1/2 hour before church this morning, but I am so grateful to Heavenly Father that He helped me to remember at the last moment and that I had enough time to help her prepare it so that she was able to give it today. Yeah it sucks that I swore yesterday, and my swearing was probably under the influence of Satan, but I am so grateful that I have a merciful, and kind and loving Heavenly Father who forgives and that He has given me the ability to repent and move on. I don't know - I just know that it irritates me hearing that all the time over every little thing. But then again, as some I know would say, "Satan's making me feel that way!" *shrugs shoulders*

Take a look at these and I think you will understand why I say what I say, feel what I feel, and think what I think. There are many, many more of these documentaries put out by BBC featuring this same Paedophile unit who investigate child-sex crimes and work towards putting these child-sex offenders away. BBC's documentary featuring the Scotland Yard's Paedophile unit - investigating and trying to put away child-sex offenders. Video 1 Part 1: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.1 - YouTube Video 1 Part 2: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.2 - YouTube Video 1 Part 3: The Hunt for Britain's Paedophiles 1.3 - YouTube Watch their faces as they lie, watch them say over and over and over again that, "yes, I did this or that in the past, but not anymore," or, "yes, I'm aroused by boys but that's all in the past now," or, "No, I would never think of a child like that, it disgusts me," or, "No, I don't have any child-pornography in my house," whilst the cops are searching their place right in front of their eyes. Saying it so calmly or indignantly. Listen to the man say that kids are the one's doing it to adults - not adults abusing kids, basically him saying that kids are assaulting adults just by being that they are purposefully trying to get adults to want them. Talking about children as though they are objects. Using them like objects. The vast majourity of children who were abused as children do not grow up to become abusers. If that were the case we'd have one in four women as child-sex offenders when the actual fact is that 98% of child-sex offenders are straight males. In any case, it is no excuse. Most paedophiles - or child-sex offenders, don't want to change. The vast majourity reoffend, and reoffend and reoffend regardless of how many times they are convicted or imprisoned or therapy sessions they take. Therapy only works for a minourity - only for those who really really want to change and who actually feel bad for what they've done. And no, I still have no sympathy for child-sex offenders, except like I said the ones who do everything in their power to stay away from children, who don't get down the track having abused 10 kids before they do anything about it, who seek therapy and help, and going to those in position of power to ask for help so they can be held accountable. I said I don't have any sympathy, and that I can't understand people who have sympathy for those who commit child-sex offenders - NOT that I don't forgive. As we know, it is required by our Saviour that we must forgive all who trespass against us as a condition of being forgiven. I forgive he who raped me as a child. I forgive my family who take his word over mine because I was a child and he was an "upstanding" and "righteous" man who worked with children (not anymore). I forgive my family who feel sympathy for him because obviously it was just a "mistake" - not caring that it has taken years of my life, causing me immense pain that only seems to go away when I read the scriptures and pray because I know my Heavenly Father died not only to take away my sins, but also to shoulder my pain and my burdens. I forgive my mother who told me that it was my fault that he raped me because I must've seduced him. I forgive my cousin who told me that "God will forgive you for not being a virgin anymore and for having sex with him," even though I was the one who had my virginity taken away from me before I even understood what sex was (at 5). I forgive my mother who would leave me in his care every week for years even when I begged her to take me with her and when I come home bleeding and with raw painful parts. And again her not doing anything but hiting me across the head when she saw that I had yet once again cut up my arms in self-harm to cope with the agonising self-hate because that was the only reason I could fathom as to why he would do all those awful things to me - it must've been my fault. I forgive. And I have to work hard to forgive. I pray and pray and pray to forgive. To not hate. But I do forgive with His help every single day to the best of my ability. But that doesn't mean that I forgive any other child-sex offender. As far as I'm concerned it is up to their victims to be forgiven - and obviously Jesus Christ with the attonement. But I don't believe I have the right to forgive them as they haven't damaged me. I only have the right to forgive the one who wronged me. Can a child-sex offender be forgiven by Christ's attonement??? Of course. But forgiveness comes only with repentance and leaving ones sins behind. Say a serial killer has urges to kill... we can understand that, but he has to leave behind murdering people when it comes down to things - and putting himself as far from temptation as possible. And just because I've forgiven the one who raped me as a child, doesn't mean that I have any sympathy for him, or understand why anyone else would have sympathy for him. For some reason, many people seem to regard child-sex offences as being almost trivial - unless it happens to their own kids (and not all people - like my own family - will give two hoots about it). Hence the minimal sentences handed down to child sex offenders. I had one relative say that it couldn't have really been that bad because I seemed to be ok (does cutting up your arms almost every day from the age of 5 and trying to kill yourself as a child sound ok??? Does crying yourself to sleep for years when you're 8,9,10,11 and so on because you can't tell anyone sound ok???). So yes, for those who seek it, Jesus will bear our burdens and forgive us our sins. No, I still don't have sympathy. Forgiveness for the one who wronged me yes. But no sympathy. Many people think that child-sex offenders are lovely people, so sincere, so caring and loving, and are shocked when they find out what they have been doing. Some are in so much denial that they refuse to believe the child-sex-offender could ever have committed such an act ever.

Hey - I'm Aussie too, Welcome aboard here, hope you find it as interesting and enjoyable as I have, Cheers :-)

Sorry, but I cannot understand sympathy for a sexual offender - except by a victim due to stockholmes syndrome or the like. Personally I don't care how "nice" or "loving" or "generous" or "sincere" an offender appears, if he/she has or does sexually abuses children, than as far as I'm concerned, imprisonment is the only way, long-term imprisonment for a one-timer and life for a serial offender unless he/she has many, many hours of therapy (from studies I've researched it takes on average 129 hours minimum for a child-sex offender to become "rehabilitated" and even than recidivism rates are significantly high) and then to be monitored for the rest of their lives. If they seek out help themselves without someone else pushing them to do it (like only confessing because someone else has found out and is going to tell everyone), it's a different matter. But if a person has molested 10 children, I'm sorry, but the boat left the island long ago, it is incomprehensible that someone could allow it to go on for so long. It is not a mistake - it's a crime, it's a purposeful act that damages and destroys other's lives as long as they are alive. If he was a serial murderer, would you feel differently? If he had your aunt, or mother or daughter buried under his floorboards, would you feel differently? Most serial murderers throughout history are family men, who are charming and kind and loving and most have managed to live "under" the radar for long periods of time whilst raping and/or murdering their victims. Personally, having been raped as a child, I can tell you, that I regard it worse than murder. Also, it's unlikely that he'll be placed in with "normal" inmates - they normally separate rapists and child-sex offenders from the rest of inmate population as of due course due to how many prison murders of rapists and paedophiles occurred in the past. As for therapy - some prisons offer it, some don't, here in Australia there are about 4 that I know of that offer therapy specifically designed for child-sex offenders. And they have to really want the therapy to get it too - prove that they want to change. There are also programs offered for those on parole. I know this because for my thesis I wrote a paper on sex-offenders rehabilitation. Was a very depressing subject. So I'm sorry, I have no sympathy for any child-sex offender.

It's a huge misconception that persons who engage in homosexual activity are paedophiles, or more likely to engage in such behaviour. I think this myth is very damaging and wrong full-stop - just because someone is attracted to someone of the same sex doesn't mean that they are a danger to kids. Paedophilia is about control of another human being - one who is completely without power. It is about CONTROL of another, not self-control. Sex-crimes in general are about control - rape is about control, not about sexual orientation, nor about lack of self-control. Men who rape women, or children, or other men, or women who do the same, feel the need to impose/force themselves sexually on another human being to feel powerful. Sexual abuse of any kind is one of the most degrading ways that a human can treat another, more powerful than any other kind of abuse. Stats show that 98% of child sexual abuse cases are by straight men. The other 2% consists of child-sex crimes by women and by homosexual men. I had an aunty who is lesbian and had a number of affairs (with women) during her marriage (she ended up coming out and leaving my uncle - now the family won't have anything to do with her). She was always my favourite aunty and she was one of the most kind and caring relatives I have (she was a great mum as well), and yet it wasn't her who was a paedophile but rather her very straight husband. This is something that really boils my blood - I am still trying to forgive him with much prayer. And to think that over and over again people confuse sexual orientation with sexual abuse is soooo wrong! It's because of all those stupid politicians who in their attempt to stop same-sex marriage who spew their ignorant views saying that legalising same-sex relations/marriage is the same as legalising paedophilia. Yes there are those who are gay/bi who are also paedophiles, but they are in the minority compared to massive number of paedophiles who are exclusively straight who prey on kids, whether male or female.

Yayayay!!! Congrats! :-D

I understand your perplexities with the whole social/dating thing. I didn't have a social life growing up (like at all) and both me and my brother have the same problem with having to now learn as adults how to connect with other people socially let alone the whole "dating" thing. I don't do crowds well neither. Church is fine, but when it comes to social get-to-togethers of women for example with say 5-6 women, I just start to feel suffocated and can't seem to make conversation. I'm fine however with say 2 or 3 friends hanging out, but more than that and I feel like I have no idea where I fit in or how I'm supposed to interact so I tend to "not" interact at all. I still don't get alot of the social norms that most people take for granted... such as women sitting around talking about their husband's noses for hours on end or what not... aren't there more interesting things in life than that? I don't know. But I am getting better at it. I guess it's a learning process for some of us. I have to say though, I used to be really bad at socializing, but am getting much better at it where I have 8 or so really good friends. So keep trying, it does get easier.