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How did your meeting with the Bishop go?

It is such a blessing that you are home from your mission. The Lord really loves you and has given you an opportunity to repent and free yourself from your guilt. Don't worry. You are doing the right thing. Whatever happens, the Lord will help you. You don't need to walk yourself to the courthouse! Just make it right with the person. And I know you already know this, but I will say it anyway; pray, pray pray. The Lord will help you!

Of bonanzafan!!!! I love you! I have just gone through the same experience!!! The wonderful thing about the Atonement is it puts all your sins in the past and the Lord "remembers them no more." And you know that. Have you forgiven yourself though? You have repented, and your past does not make you are any less worthy/entitled to love and a happy beautiful relationship with a nice lady. If this woman truly loves you, she will be understanding and she will not care that you have a past. She will not see you differently. She will love you just the same. You have repented and you have developed a very deep relationship with the Savior and a very personal understanding of the Atonement. You want to marry someone who shares this same understanding of the power of the Atonement. I don't care what other people tell you. I will tell you that you do not need to give details at all. You can just tell her that at one point in your life, you made mistakes and went through the repentance process. You don't need to tell her what you did, how many times, who it was with, etc. That doesn't matter. This can actually be an opportunity for you guys to grow closer. You can share with her how you have developed a strong testimony of the Atonement. here is a quote from a gc talk: As with other failures, once we have repented of a sin, we should not dwell on it. The comparison has been made between a sin and a wound. Suppose that after a wound has been bandaged, we were to repeatedly take off the bandage to examine the wound, each time tearing it open again. Would this not be foolish? Yet this is what we sometimes do with our sins. How much better it would be to put the bandage on the wound and forget it until it heals. Likewise, once we have repented of a sin, let us follow Paul’s advice: forget it and look to the future. No matter what our past is like, our future is spotless. The woman who loves you will understand this, too. ^ Forgetting Those Things Which Are Behind - Ensign Sept. 1972 - ensign Pray about it. Pray for her to be understanding. You can even ask your bishy for advice. --- And if you want to know what happened when I told my boyfriend about my past, let me know. I cried and was sooo scared to tell him. But it ended up bringing us so close.

There is nothing wrong with falling in love before your mission!! You can't help it! But it's true that it isn't always the easiest. But sometimes love isn't. Trust the Lord, know he has a plan for you. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. If this is meant to be, then so it shall be. But be patient. You can't marry the girl right now, and you are going to be a little preoccupied for the next two years. Let the pieces fall where they may. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself aunseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

My brother, too, has a very serious addiction (drug) problem. I totally understand what is going on here and I know both sides of it. Some quick points for you: Gambling problems affect the brain just as drug addictions do. a gambling addict and a drug addict behave and think the same way. If your wife's brother had a drug problem, obviously your wife would not be lending him money. but because it is gambling and not drugs, sometimes the line is more difficult to draw. Addiction not only affects the addict, but everyone who cares about them. 1. Unfortunately, your wife is absolutely enabling her brother's addiction. Your wife's relationship with her brother and his addiction is what you would call "codependent". . ( I suggest reading some books on codependent behavior to learn more about it and your wife's . difficulties. Just as there are a bajillion books on addiction recovery, it seems like there are even . . more on codependency.) 2.. Your brother-in-law's addiction can (and obviously is) have a negative and draining affect on your relationship with your wife. Again, this has to do with the codependency issue. You guys must learn to set boundaries to protect your new little family and you must communicate. Marriage counseling is wonderful!! The Church provides excellent marriage counsel. ( e.g., I think you and your wife should communicate more about finances and possibly learn to approach it in a different way. Especially when you guys are young and in debt!! Your wife should not be "informing" you of her decision but discussing her desires with you and you guys should work together.) Most importantly****5. Your wife sounds like a very loving and compassionate woman. But it doesn't change the fact that she is most likely struggling with codependency. I struggled with codependency, and then, for years I struggled with having a mother who was codependent. At first, I would help my brother out in anyway and then I realized that I was enabling his addiction. My mom however was in denial of this, and with the best intentions, she would try to help my brother in anyway she could. This went on for years and it killed me. Because my mom did not realize that she was literally protecting and financing my brother's addiction. Pray for your wife's heart and mind to be opened to understanding. Pray to know how to help her. And seriously, buy some books on codependency for you and your wife to read. Be patient with your wife. Pray, pray, pray. No one can fix a person's addiction. Loved ones can support and encourage recovery, but an addict must find the desire, determination, and commitment within themselves to recover. ************* This is the Serenity prayer said at Alcoholics Anonymous "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." It applies to addicts and codependents alike.