I have been happily married for almost 10 years in the temple, or so I thought. A week ago to the day I walked in the room to find my husband talking on the phone. When he saw me he turned red, so I asked who he was talking to. He told me "a friend" and tried to shoo me out of the room. I asked again and he then gave me a name and told me he'd be right out. I told him later that was strange and he agreed.
Two days later, he was acting funny, said he wasn't hungry for dinner and was going to go lay on the couch. Not 10 min later, he jumps up runs upstairs and says he's going to Michaels. Ok, my husband hates the store, let alone a craft store. An hour and a half later, he was not answering his phone or text. The thought came to my mind to check our phone log. Sure enough, he spoke to the same "friend" for 6 min before leaving the house. I drove up to Michaels knowing he wouldn't be there. Drove back home and called again, now 2 hours later. This time he answered, but was quiet. He told me he got hungry and decided to get a "bite to eat afterall." I responded "are you alone?" He told me no. I knew immediately what was going on, but not the extent of it.
He rushed home and met me on the lawn and told me he met someone at work and she wants to marry him and he wants to marry her. He told me "you're my best friend and I love you, but I don't want to be with you anymore." What!!??
He has told me to not talk to anyone, go to an attorney with him and file and that he's not going to move out of our house until it is final to make a judge see that he's not abandoning his children (8 & 5). In the meantime he has told me to pretend we're not married, don't ask what he's doing or try to talk to him.
I know who she is by name and want oh so badly to call his work in Provo and tell HR, his boss or someone that he's having an affair with the girl that sits next to him.
I went against his will to our 1st counselor in the bishopric because the bishop was out of town and I didn't have the stake president's phone number. He is now angry that I'm going to "his priesthood leaders" and insists he's done nothing wrong because he has not had physical contact with her. Going to dinner, going on a hike for 10 hours and talking of marriage don't count as things done wrong I suppose.
I'm so frustrated, hurt, angry, sad, and betrayed. I don't want a divorce. He says he's made up his mind and no counseling. He tells me we are two different people. He sites that when we do go hiking I don't keep up, our house (very neat and clean home) is not neat enough and that I don't intellectually stimulate him. This is frustrating especially knowing that the girl is 23 (he's 36 and I am 33).
I know he's not happy in his job, he's underemployed and making squat compared to what he has made in the past. I wonder if this is not a mid-life crisis that he will snap out of. I am at a loss. This is not the man I have been married to and I want that one back. He decided to tell our 8 year old daughter about this yesterday before dropping her off to piano lessons. I didn't know he had done it until I picked her up. He told me later that she handled it well. Bologna! She cried for two hours when I picked her up.
She told me she wanted a blessing and insisted she speak with the bishop that night. Since my husband was still gone, I scheduled to take her to the church at 7:30. He arrived home at 7. I told him that she had asked for a blessing and I had asked bishop and 1st counselor to do it. He asked, "what, you don't think I'm worthy?" I told him I questioned it. He told me he thought he was, but didn't want to discuss it with me. I offered for him to take her to the church and he did. According to my daughter he did not talk to them though.
This is me venting. I don't know what to do. I keep thinking I want to wait it out and make him miserable by having to wait. He always makes me fill in paperwork. I'm thinking to just wait and have him do the paperwork and go from there. I just keep praying for a change of heart/mind and to pull him out of the trance he is in. He told me he prayed about it and felt like he could leave if it would make him happy. I'm sorry, but I don't know that is possible. How do you go from being the ward clerk and having other similar callings to this?!
Thank you for words of wisdom. My strength is weak!