earth2steph

Thanks bytebear, We really do want a state that has almost no gun laws. We've been watching the flashmob situation in the USA and we want to be prepared for all possible contingencies. I'm former military and grew up with guns, so I want the full freedom of that. We love bears. Quote from Chief Wigam: 'Book 'em on one count of being a bear and one count of ...of accessory to being a bear'. In our household, " a bear" is interchangeable with "squeezy" because we love squeezing our children. My son backs up to my husband and shouts "Dad! Squeeze my bum!" But, I digress. Thanks for your posts. :)

With you on that Gwen! We would like to be near Salt Lake City area or Provo/Orem just so there's a broader range of work. My husband is a certified High Voltage Electrician (industrial/powerplant: transformers and switchgear) in Australia, but has also worked doing mortgage loan approval and collections. Currently doing carpet cleaning after his other jobs were made redundant due to outsourced labour and an Evangelical boss that resented him being Mormon and more solvent than himself. Is actually thinking about doing truck driving locally too. We will be in a position to take our time and really choose the most suitable ward, school district and job for him and our family. Have been checking out schools/homes on greatschools.org and other sites for some time. Just looking for an insider's perspective. I'm from VA, so it will be a new culture for me too, not just for my Aussie husband. Quick Doctrine question: If a man is not sealed at his death, can he enter the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom? Just curious. Thanks.

HiJolly, Your reply fits my situation even more than you perhaps know. I am getting an icy reception at quilting night because some of the young women and mums have filled the spots left vacant by me. I definitely felt the resentment and it doesnt help that in our ward, nearly all the young women are related by blood. But, they are younger than me by about 20 years, so they have a bit more energy too. I can see that they are under strain, but I can also see that their Priesthood holders put them under that strain and that they let themselves be pushed beyond what is healthy or fulfilling. Our Bishop told me that alot of women come to him because of Priesthood holders abusing their authority. I strongly feel that I shouldn't have to make my children sacrifice their time with me, so that I can spend time with other people's children, at least not at their present ages (1 & 3). To me that is hypocrisy and smacks of the 'Martyr Mom' syndrome of the Abominable church. Someone in our church taught that the only things we take with us to the Celestial Kingdom are our memories and our relationships. I am the guardian of those for my kids and my husband. I'm not a mom who believes I should multi-task and take uppers/diet pills, excess chocloate, etc to push myself to have everything perfect all the time, because the time involved, means I'm missing out on teaching, relationship, cuddle and focused attention time with my children. Never mind the damage to one's health. I worked so hard to lay the foundation for having children at all this late in life and I'm not giving that precious time up for blessings of any kind. My time with them IS my blessing. I can see alot of young mums don't feel this way though (most of them inour ward have to work, so they don't get to enjoy their children). Also, in the years I was unable to have children, I did heaps of research and some college courses on psychology and healthy child development, as well as during my pregnancies. I have come to understand that when we do what is for our highest and best, we are also helping others to do the same. Unfortunately, here in Oz, the culture, the schools and relationship norms are against our way of life -some of this has entered the church here, sadly. It breaks my heart to see children so used to being denied attention that they stare blankly and exhibit little active intelligence. They become very angry, resentful, disrespectful teens. I'm not going to let that happen to my children. In our nursery, our son is like a beautiful little fireball of creativity and fun playfulness compared to the blank, numb aspects of his peers. Do we imagine that a child doesn't feel they are a burden or that they don't know they are the last priority when we put their needs aside for lifestyle or vanity or the recognition and appreciation of others for even ward service? They know -they just don't know what it is called. I worked for a Fortune 100 financial company for 9 years before I met my husband. No resume, no work has been more satisfying and fulfilling than raising my children at home according to my own standards. I am very grateful that my husband led us into this church and that he supports whatever makes me happy, because all he has to do is earn a living, take out the trash, mow the lawn and spend play time with our kids. I manage the finances, appointments, children's education and the housekeeping. My son loves baking bread with me and both my children love books almost more than toys already. I could go on, but I think you get the point. I guess I'm just not willing to serve outside my home right now and I resent the intrusion and manipulation by leadership. To me, it conveys that a woman's work in the home is not valued or respected, that our children's needs can be sacrificed for someone else's greater good. How is it the greater good if it's not good for me? Am I somewhere outside that? Am I beneath that? This again, is the doctrine of the Abominable church creeping into our lives and it should seen for what it is and be met with fierce resistance. Well, I've said enough for now. I thank everyone who replied because it gives me an idea of what to expect and I'll definitely talk to potential Bishops about my family's needs before buying a house in any particular ward.

I'm a fairly new member, but have been reading the Bible and other religious works for a long time in my walk with Heavenly Father, so I'd really like some brutally honest opinions about this situation. My main question is this: Is it common in Utah/ America for Bishops or a Counselor to the Bishop, to override what you know from Heavenly Father is best for your family and push or manipulate you into a calling? I was baptized here in Australia in late 2011 and in about Feb/March was told by a Counselor of our Bishop that they would soon have a "Calling" for me. I am a 40 yr old stay at home mom with two children under the age of three and the youngest is still breastfeeding. So, a few weeks later, we go to the office and he tells me that he wants me to be a teacher in primary. I told him that my youngest is still breastfeeding, so I didn't think I could fulfill that calling. He said he'd get back to me. He called me later in the week and said that my husband could just fill in if I had to step out to feed the baby. So we agreed, but after about 2 weeks of trying to get a lesson together during the day/evenings and being really tired from bf-ing, a persistent shoulder injury, etc. I asked to be removed from the calling. I love my husband but he has very little religious training/education and couldn't fill in realistically. (He was raised Catholic and rebelled against it the entire time) My kids wanted more of me than they were getting and I was getting stressed. The Bishop said that he would have me removed as requested. But the next week the Counselor comes back and asks me to aid in the nursery and that I wouldn't have to plan lessons -just help. So, I agreed, but turns out that was not true and I was very embarrassed when my "turn" came around to teach a lesson that I had not ever been told to prepare. In the weeks that followed, my children and husband and I were ill in turns, over and over for about 4 weeks. We were so blessed to have the Missionaries visit us during that time. Finally, I asked the Bishop to release me, that obviously I could not fulfill my calling. He did so about 2 weeks later. To make matters worse, I'm one of maybe 2-3 stay-at-home moms in our ward. All the other women work and have their kids in Daycare -the dominant way of life in Australia. My husband and I were living most of the Word of Wisdom already by our own choice before we ever joined the LDS church. We were so thrilled to read the Proclamation on the Family because it matched our way of life completely. We did a huge temple work baptismsession and were blessed and thrilled to do it on our temporary recommend. And I'm an American in Australia, so a bit of Catholic/ social democratic culture clash. Cops here aren't used to being questioned either and the Counselor is a cop here. (FYI: cops here are armed but not the citizens, so ...). When I look at the women of our ward I can see their health is compromised, they are pushed to their limits, they are disconnected from their spouses and eager to get away from their children. This is an unacceptable way of life to me. I can't help but feel that, as an American, I am being bullied into knowing my "place" because I am a vocal, confident woman who knows her own value and married to a terrific, gentle bloke who treats my like the sun shines through me. I do not cower in the face of the Priesthood, but share in it with my husband. I feel I am just as accountable as he is to Heavenly Father for the way our children are raised and the quality of relationships and education in our home. Anyway, sorry so lengthy. Just have had illness after illness since this whole situation began. Beginning to wonder if this issue weighing on my mind is the root cause of our continued illnesses. I've never been so sick, so often, in my life. Currently have liquid guts, a chesty cough and finally my 'aunt' is visiting after 79 days without. Frustrated and need some reassurance.

Someone also told me that Southern Utah is a good place to buy a car : inexpensive. Does that sound accurate to yal? We will have to buy a car and a house shortly after arriving.

Yes, I suppose it depends on who's getting shot. :} Just kidding. :)

Duly noted, ClickyClack. Will definitely check out Eagle Mountain area. Thanks a bunch!

Music to my ears annewandering! Thanks. It's quite different in Australia, so we were a bit concerned about finding a place where we can really put down roots with like-minded people. Thanks so much!

I could be mistaken, but I believe that 'seed of Cain' curse is still in effect. Look at Africa today, it looks like a bomb went off and the survivors are still killing, raping and breeding beyond all reason. Have you ever talked to a South African white person about what it's like to live in South Africa, post-Apartheid? Pretty horrific the murders etc and the security measures they must take just to live their lives in some peace. They can't leave the country without losing all of their assets to the S. African government and they can't even seek asylum in the USA on grounds of persecution/racial discrimination etc. because they are white. And part of the reason for extending the Priesthood to worthy black members was due to pressure from the Carter administration. Threatened to remove the tax exempt status of the entire LDS church. But, don't take my word for it, search around and compare the numerous sources on the web that detail this. It's a pity, but at least all members have to show themselves worthy, though my sense is that this is becoming a bit compromised. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord and come what may, fight to the bitter end for what we know to be righteous and good and by golly AMERICAN!

Hello, Steph here. My family and I are looking for a ward that will suit us demographically and politically. To be more specific we'd love to find a ward with lots of youth and toddlers and old-fashioned American family values and a majority of STAY AT HOME MOMS. A heavy military presence would just be the cherry on top and Priesthood holder's that love to bond with new members at the gun range would be fabulous! We're tired of the "when is your wife going back to work?" question. Howabout never! My work and my passion are one in the same: my family. Harmony and strong bonds between parents and children are our first priority, second only to our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Tired to bits of the social democracy here in Australia. It's so overwhelmingly Catholic that even the Catholic doctrine is finding it's way into sacrament meetings here. I refuse to drink the kool-aid. Can hardly wait to be back in America! Any suggestions about where we will fit in are most welcome and appreciated.