Gwen

I might upset some ppl but...... Never and I don't expect I ever will. My testimony is not in the church. I went through some very hard times where I almost walked away from it all. During that time I had to sort a lot of things out. One thing I came to realize was that the church was "good enough" but did not have to be the basis for my belief. If it was the basis for my belief then all would fall in end. The church is not enough. Among other things some key points to my testimony...... I had/have a testimony of family. Through my experiences with childbirth and raising kids I knew that we were family before getting here and would be later. The doctrine of the family was vital to me. I had/have a testimony of revelation. I had received a lot of revelation in my life that even if I left the church I could not deny the experiences. Even when I was not actively receiving revelation I knew that it was real and possible. I had/have a testimony of god and that things are to be done in an order with an authority. These three things were sufficient to realize that though I had issues with "the church" I did not have issues with "the gospel". Right now, here, today this is the church that teaches things I know to be true, it provides the closest of any other to what I know to be god's will. So I accept the church in it's flaws. However, I would not be surprised and fully expect that upon the second coming christ will start over. Just as he has many times before. I do not expect to be "mormon" forever. I am a follower of christ and his doctrines as they have been revealed to me, right now being in the church is where I find that. As for "when" it was a growing process to be honest that has spanned probably the last 14yrs. It was an accumulation of events and growing experiences in my life. The hardest and most challenging being in the last 5-8yrs.

16 is too early to start stressing over that. She should be saving money for the future, if she has the opportunity to work. It's a good money habit to create now no matter what she decides. Focus on high school and building a testimony, both she should be doing now no matter if she goes on a mission. When she gets closer to mission age the lord will tell her what to do. Prepare and keep the options open. The lord doesn't always tell us what is ahead of us for next yr, or next week, or even tomorrow. He gives us commandments that will keep us prepared to follow anything that comes at the drop of a hat. Help her discover what those are, build those habits, be prepared. Learning to be prepared and then following the lord at the time he tells you what/where to go is a vital lifelong tool. Focus on learning how to do that.

I don't necessarily disagree with you. The key being what YOU put on your plate. In the south it is customary for the woman of the house to fix everyone's plate and serve them. I've seen women put HUGE helpings on ppl's plate not knowing what the person likes... and then they are expected to eat it? I see that as rude. If you fill my plate and I throw things away then it's your problem not mine. If I fill your plate then I'm not going to be upset if you throw some away. If you fill your plate then you should use discretion. lol In my house the kids eat what I cook (but I always make sure there is at least one thing everyone can/will eat). If they fix their plate I remind them constantly that they can always have more. Usually I will fix their fist plate and keep the portions appropriate. If they don't eat the meal or eat anything healthy then there are no junk food or snacks. We do have an open policy on pb&j (if we have bread lol). If they don't want anything on the table they can make that on their own.

If you are willing to get there early and stay then have whatever seat you want. If having a seat is worth your time then it's yours. As for city events the only time I've seen places "saved" more than an hr or so before by personally being there is when someone lives on the parade route. Sometimes ppl will tape off their property so ppl don't trample it or they will have friends invited to watch the parade from their home. But if you own the land I see it as your right. lol They are not allowed to block the public sidewalk in front of their home. edit: Just remembered something kinda funny about saved seats in church. When I got to our branch 12 yrs ago it was an older branch with no children so there was no designated "mother's area". With my first pregnancy I requested a proper chair to nurse in. They didn't get us one until I weaned my 4th. When I had my 5th we had a sister with an illness and the only way she could come was to have that chair so I didn't get "my chair". By the time she was better I had weaned my little one and we had a family here for a short time that had a baby so that mom got the chair. Now that I'm expecting again we have an 80something yr old member of the branch presidency that can't stay the whole 3 hrs unless he sits in a proper chair. So now the "mother's chair" is in the chapel for him....... so I still don't get "my chair". lol

She is the kind of kid that knows exactly what she wants and what she likes. She will plan things a yr in advance. She is very money conscious. She asked me back at christmas for them but our tradition has been for the 8th bday so I said to wait... bad idea. She has anticipated and planned this for the last yr. After spending about 2 hrs on the phone looking I finally told her the situation. She understood and said it was ok but that didn't change that she sat down and cried for awhile and again every time it came up. She had her heart set on blue. She can finally talk about it without crying but you can see the disappointment. Been talking to Leah and I think we are good to go. It's really an answer to a prayer. Posting here was kinda a last ditch effort. Sometimes we get blessed in spite of our mistakes/foolishness/ignorance (take your pick). lol She has already picked the carry case (blue with a little bit of pink), scripture marking pencils, and the scripture mastery stickers (I find the kids enjoy having pictures in there and the head start can't hurt). I took her shopping for a new dress and shoes to go with. lol She got her faith in god book from primary today so she could start preparing to work on that. These are all things she instigated, nobody else can move fast enough for her. lol Sometimes the pickiness is overwhelming but she's a good kid. She wants to do things right, helps me out alot, loves to teach her little sister things. It's hard to be too upset about the picky when she is so responsible in everything else.

First thought the dog would bother me. We had a neighbor dog attack and kill one of our cats and I filed a complaint with the police. Not ok with me. Kittens are great for kids. Watching them grow can be a wonderful family experience. Remember to hold them a lot. When it comes to cats if they are held and touched the first 6 weeks they will be good family cats, if not they will never really be loving. That's why feral cats are so hard to find homes for, they will never be very loving. Enjoy the process of having babies in the house (every family should have a litter of kittens at some point) but then take that kitty and get her fixed!

Sometimes all we need is a little validation of our feelings to allow ourselves to feel something different. You can point out the positive things later but not right then, give him a chance to say what he's feeling and it be ok. Could also start spiking his food with B vitamins and Magnesium supplements. Those are our happy pills around here. lol

I heard a preacher on the radio talking about meeting a woman. The woman was apologizing because her scriptures were such a mess with markings, notes and even pages falling out. He told her not to be ashamed "A person whose bible is a mess most likely has a life that isn't".

The problem I have isn't necessarily with seat saving as ppl ALWAYS sitting in the same seat to the point that they think it's theirs. Then when wards have combined activities it's hard to be the visitor because you "took someone's seat". However, I have considered making seat jackets (is that what they are called, slip over the back of the chair?) reserving seats for my family. Not something to put out a week early but once we get there. My family has 7/8 (depending on if my step son is there) and an investigator friend almost every week. The longest row in our small branch only has 10 seats so if ppl sit just right it's impossible for my family to sit together. That frustrates me. I don't mind moving around but I'd like to be together. lol The whole family isn't already sitting when ppl come in usually due to callings and my kids like to be at the door greeting ppl. I think if someone is saving seats for their immediate family they should have at least one person there all the time. I don't like to walk into an empty room full of stuff and not feel like there is a place to sit.

Message sent...... THANK YOU. I'm not going to tell her, gonna let her be totally surprised. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is the blue. Those are the large ones, that's all I've been able to find (and not many of them). These are for an 8yr old, those are bigger than her lap. I did tell her about them but not gonna work. Thanks for trying.

Are you willing to part with them? I can message you my phone number and we can talk if you are. :)

Huge mom fail and I'm hoping someone can help me out. My daughter wanted a set of blue scriptures for her bday. As I've called every lds bookstore I can find all over the country I'm learning they can't be found. In fact I can't even find a triple in any color anywhere. Maybe everyone else knew this but not being in UT I'm not always "in the know". With the new scriptures coming out they stopped printing any of the "old" ones a few months ago to clean out inventory. The new ones will not be produced in blue (only burgundy, black, and brown). So if anyone was really wanting to get the new ones but can't rationalize it because they have a blue set that is in too good of condition............ I'll buy them from you. lol You can feel good about making a little girl's day and have an excuse to order new ones in Aug. Win - win! Seriously, I'm looking for a blue bible or triple (I did actually find a bookstore with a bible so if all you have is a triple and we act fast I can match it). It's ok if it's gently used and I don't care if it has your name on the cover. I'll figure something out. lol I'm begging...........

I don't believe you have to be (or have been) starving to appreciate the good food you have or to refuse to eat something you do not like. It's ok to not eat it and pray in gratitude that you have enough blessings that you can choose what you eat. When those blessings aren't there then you will do what you have to. This is kinda like when ppl tell me "you should be grateful for your morning sickness, it's caused by the hormones that keep the baby from miscarrying." First of all that's a myth, morning sickness and miscarriage are not connected. Second, I do not have to be happy or celebrate that I puke my guts out at the thought of eating, the smell of food, smell of my soap, smell of my body, taste of my saliva, and go for over a month without eating. I do not have to be happy every small blood vessel in my face, eyes and neck are broken from the pressure of dry heaving multiple times a day. It's ok to not be happy about that and to try to guilt me into being happy doesn't accomplish anything. My parents stopped insisting we eat everything when my sister (who always struggled with her weight) after being told "there are children in the world starving and you are going to throw that away" responded with "How is my force feeding myself after I'm full and getting fat going to help the starving kids in the world?" We have weight issues in this country, we need to learn to stop eating when full not eat until it's gone to "be polite". We need to be healthy and create a society that sees health as polite, not making yourself sick.

I know this is totally different than in other areas but I consider it rude to insist someone eat some of everything on the table or everything on their plate (especially if they did not fix the plate). I consider it my job as hostess to make sure my guests are happy (can eat) not their job to make me happy. There are respectful ways to say no thank you and decline something. I never fix a plate for my guests and always tell them they are not expected to eat anything and are welcome to get more of something. I don't force feed my kids and I don't think it's healthy. Sometimes you may have someone with dietary needs or even something like asperger's where eating "everything" is not an option. I would feel horrible if I knew someone force fed themselves in my home. We had a missionary one time that refused dinner appointments because he had a strict diet. He was using diet instead of meds to manage medical issues. Instead of being "rude" and declining a food he just refused dinner appointments. I asked him a little about what his diet was like and was familiar with something similar. I insisted he come and that he did not have to eat but to give me a chance. Apparently I did a good job, he ate all but one thing on the table and had seconds and thirds of others. He didn't go for thirds but I could see him looking and said it was ok to take the last of it. lol He was very grateful for a home cooked meal he could actually eat. It felt good to provide that service to him.

You can have any kind of ceremony you want in your home or other chosen location. To renew your vows you don't need any kind of license, it's a personal celebration event. Write your vows to each other, go as all out or simple as you want, invite friends, share your vows together and then party. That said I agree with skippy. My husband and I try to go back to the temple around our anniversary every yr and do proxy sealings. For us this is a vow renewal/reminder. If you have not yet been to the temple I can't think of a better way to renew your vows than by extending your covenant to each other and god. Unless it falls on a day the temple is closed you should even be able to schedule it on your anniversary so it's all the same day.

If it is the same sister complaining about the music then give her a call and let her pick the songs. Complaints about conducting? ok you can conduct. The presidency doesn't have to do everything, you can assign things out. The person complaining about enrichment.... put her in charge one month. Sisters can be given an assignment for one month/activity without them taking it over completely. If they refuse to accept the assignment then make sure the bishop knows so when they complain he can tell them if they don't want to step up then get over it, you are wasting my time. it's time they sustain their leaders.

You wouldn't have to expose yourself or your garments inappropriately if asked to "show" them. I've voluntarily "shown" ppl before with no issues. I had a friend that was in school to become a physical therapist (including some massage). They had a class where they talked about taking precautions to respect different beliefs. One they discussed was LDS and their garments (she was left with the impression that everyone, including children wore them). She came to me with questions because she was confused. I had no problem sharing that info with her and even pulled up my pant leg and showed the hem, my shirt sleeve and showed the hem. She was able to see exactly what it covered and meant. It was a great discussion and her reaction was more of "that's not so bad" than the impression she was left with after her class. the lady that made my wedding dress had to make some modifications to the pattern to accommodate garments. Again we showed her the hem of the back and front, etc so she could see exactly what she was working with and not cut it too close. She was very respectful and wonderful about it, no awkwardness or thinking I was weird. So if a TSA agent said, "I see something on the x-ray machine around your knee" I would have no issue showing them the hem of my garments. Unless I was wearing pants that made the only possible way to drop my pants... then they will just have to enjoy groping my knees. lol

I'm kinda confused though. Does the elastic on regular undies show up? Do they grab everyone else's butt? lol I guess if they are used to recognizing what it is around the butt and the knees threw them off.... so did they think you weren't wearing any undies? All kinda weird to me. lol I'm glad you didn't have to put up with being fondled though.

A child's brain is designed to learn language. As we get older our brain loses it's ability (can be done, just harder). That is one of the big complaints with the american educational system, waiting until high school to introduce other language is a disservice. She will learn very quickly, much more so than you. I would try to incorporate both languages into the lesson. If you are doing a lesson on faith learn "faith" in spanish and teach it to everyone, while teaching her the english. The church has all it's materials in both languages, download mp3's of primary songs in spanish. Let the kids learn them both ways. Pictures don't need language, use a lot of pictures with everything you talk about. Involve the parents, get them to teach you the primary songs in spanish. Are there other members in the ward that know spanish? Call an assistant to help you. Let the learning go both ways. Sounds like a really fun opportunity for everyone in the class.

I'm not sure about this but if they are sealed to the ex then wouldn't their church records be attached to them? If that is the case then the ward is predetermined, where they would pay tithing and hold callings anyway. Where they attend is another matter.... unless there is something in the court paperwork to cause the church to deviate from the standard way of doing things.

Well, as you have seen from my posts (and maybe others, so i don't feel foolishly alone) the calling/roles/keys/government/organization lol can all be confusing. That would be a lot to cover in one lesson. Possible to do a double layer designed for back to back lessons? Start with what you have, priesthood organization. Then the next week go into the government, who holds the keys to what, etc. Break down how much there is to process in one class. lol If you have a particularly bright group that seems to be getting it or already knows most then you could condense it into one double layered class. I would break them into separate sections though. Trying to cover both at the same time might make it more confusing. I think both are needed.

FYI I'm not one to advocate someone go into debt for a honeymoon. $5000 is a lot of money, I'm poor enough to understand that. lol However, looking at weddings of the world (yes I know we are not supposed to be of the world) $5000 is around or less than the cost of a wedding dress. And no those weddings are not being paid for in cash. Should we follow the world's example? probably not. Just that in the grand scheme of weddings and honeymoons $5000 isn't a "big deal". I think as for if it's worth going into debt over they will have to decide. If they know they will NEVER get to take another trip like this in their life then it might be worth it to them. If I had known all that was in store for my future I might have chosen a different honeymoon plan. Not that it wasn't fun or nice but knowing it might be the only trip I get for the next 40 plus yrs ..... I might have chosen differently. lol I also can't help but wonder if they considered all their options. I know there are "land cruises" that you can purchase that cover your food, lodging, the whole deal. I can't help but wonder how that compares in cost to the trip they have planned. But generally I agree they should have planned a trip they could comfortably afford. A few changes and they would probably be fine. Having already bought travel tickets does present a problem when coming up short of what I'm guessing they thought they could afford. (I'm assuming they thought they could as the reason for asking for money was due to "job changes and such".)

I am caught up on the appearance that the high priest has authority over the bishop. But maybe I'm thinking too much along the lines of church organization rather than Priesthood organization. It's very possible I'm the one missing something. lol Based on what is there I would say the apostles are over the melchizedek offices. It's the darkest and biggest blue, which would be compared to the bishop who is the biggest and darkest red of the aaronic priesthood..... yes/no? But then where would the stake pres fall? Should there be a bar under the melchizedek like the bishop is supporting the aaronic? Priesthood wise is a patriarch equal to a seventy? If the seventy is a "step above" the patriarch then shouldn't there be a thin line from seventy encompassing the patriarch? Or can seventy not act in the capacity of a patriarch? Do you need more colors? I find the distinction between the bishop and priest to be too faint, same for the lines between apostle, seventy, and patriarch. But then it could just be the settings on my computer screen. lol lol I'm finding this very hard to put into words. lol I'm also not sure if I'm confusing too much of the church organization with the priesthood organization. So now I'm doubting myself and feeling very unprepared for the lesson I was supposed to teach Sun. lol I should find a guest teacher. sigh

Asking for money isn't uncommon. At funerals ppl will ask for donations instead of flowers. Other occasions ppl will say instead of gifts donate to this or that charity. If a big trip is that important to them then I guess I could see asking for money instead of gifts. I don't really have an issue with that, especially if they aren't really "just starting out" and don't need all the household stuff that ppl traditionally give. That said I do find the way you say they presented it to be tacky. Setting a goal amt? Setting up a link for donations? The guilt trip of presenting the hotel and meals vs car and power bars? Yes you want someone to be comfortable on their honeymoon but it's not my job to make sure you have a hotel. lol In the grand scheme of honeymoons and weddings $5000 isn't that much. If it's that important it's called a credit card, or change the parameters of your trip. I guess that's a long way to say I have mixed feelings as well. lol