specka

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  1. THIS. We have had some political conversations in the past in which I shared my liberal/moderate views with her. But still...I don't congregate with Mormons? What the heck does that even mean? She made it sound like I don't affiliate with people in the Church or something...just makes me cringe just thinking about it! Maybe that's an issue in-and-of itself, I'm afraid that people will think I'm not "LDS" enough. Yikes...
  2. I guess I am not really sure what to say. I've had the advantage of this manager really taking a liking to me and even pushing me for promotions. Am I wrong for making light of my faith? I know this topic isn't even near the complications of other topics brought up in the advice section...however, I'm having a hard time figuring out if I should bring it up to my manager, or just let it go...you know?
  3. To make a very long story short, my boss at work KNOWS that I am Mormon and occasionally we make very short conversation about my beliefs, etc. I love to poke fun at myself and sometimes she will make a non-offensive light hearted joke about me being Mormon. I'm sure many of you understand where I am coming from. As long as it is not degrading, or uncomfortable I have no problem laughing at the Mormon/Utah culture. But today at work she said something that made me uncomfortable. There is another worker (let's call him Earl) who I was poking fun at because he was transferring to another store within the company located in Provo, UT which some people including myself have affectionately named, "Happy Valley." This other worker is well-known as being LDS as well so we got kind of a good laugh about him going to Happy Valley and leaving our store for good. Well, my boss overheard our conversation and said, "why are you calling it Happy Valley?" and I said, "cause there are a lot of Mormons there, hehe." She rolled her eyes and said, "Hey those Mormons are Earl's people!" and laughed. I then said, "well those Mormons are my people too, but I still make fun of them sometimes!" To which she stated, "yeah but you don't congregate with them." Ummmmm...I have NO idea how she came to that conclusion, of even what it specifically means. Like I'm not active or something? (I am)..it was one of those situations where it all happened so fast and I had to quickly get back to work that I all I could do was say, "huh?" and the conversation dissolved immediately. Now, hours later I feel horrible!! Like am I not being a good example and making her think I don't care about my faith? I'm so confused and feel uneasy about all of this....
  4. What don't you understand about this? I don't like the idea of sending the gray tithing envelope through the postal service with my tithing in it partially because I live in, well, Utah. Simple as that. But anyway, that's not really the point. So basically I had no idea that you could pay this way! I wonder how you stumbled upon this great knowledge. Good to know.I think I will end up paying next week. But I've wondered this quite a bit. Me and my husband end up working a lot of Sundays lately..:/
  5. Can I send my bishop my tithing in the mail without one of those gray envelopes? I have a tithing slip but I feel weird about sending it in the envelope. In case you were wondering I haven't been to church in a few weeks due to being either out of town or working and haven't had a chance to give my tithing to my bishop, so that's why I want to send it in the mail. I will be at church next week but I would rather send it off as soon as possible because we are now "behind" on our tithing. (I know you can pay it whenever you want, but for my own sake I feel better about paying it once a month).
  6. Update: I talked to my husband like I said before, and apologized. I told him that I wanted him to make the decision for himself and I was sorry to push it on him and make an issue out of it. It should be his decision. Well a couple of days later on both of our day of from work, he started getting ready to go somewhere. Turns out he was going to go see the bishop about the coffee situation. Again I explained that if he didn't want to go, he shouldn't. He explained that it wasn't a big deal. So I dropped it. In case you might be wondering, the bishop pretty much shrugged it off and they talked about some other things going on with work, and life in general. Everything's good. We had a looong discussion about trusting each other to make the right decision and all those other sorts of things. So needless to say it's an issue that I can confidently say is not really an issue at all. Thanks for the honest advice. Some people seemed to kind of get a little jumpy on here about me jumping on his back. I don't want to link the quote cause I'm lazy but someone called me a pharisee? Okay honesty was what I was looking for, but really, that was rude and not helpful at all. But really 98% of you were really helpful in helping me see how I could be blowing it out of proportion. I appreciate the ability to see from my perspective as to why it might at first seem like a "big deal" to me and calmly explain that indeed, it was not.
  7. To the OP I say yes. I feel like men are "picked on" (I don't really like that phrase but moving on..) not just in the church but in our modern society in general. When did it become okay to put down our husbands in front of others? I see this all the time, not just by members, but by a lot of people I am around whether they are friends or not. My own mother did this and does this. It took me a while to realize that this is not okay. I admit that I kind of believed that acting arrogant and putting down my husband in a sarcastic way was normal and it was even encouraged and supported by....dum dum dum...MEN. The best advice someone gave me before my wedding day was, "never ever talk badly about your husband, either behind his back or in front of him." I am so glad I follow this advice now. Sometimes we will hang out with other couples and we will observe how other wives put their husbands in their place--so to speak in a sarcastic tone and it is seen as cute and funny. I try my best to not follow the herd when we are in conversation. It is seen as a surprise by people when they try to get me to say something bossy and snarky to my husband and I say something uplifting instead. I will admit it's a little entertaining. NOW...With ALL that being said women are "picked on" too. Men can be pushy, arrogant, and verbally and physically abusive as well..INSIDE and outside the church. This is a problem with our society and one of the reasons for so much relationship dysfunction in our world. I think it is a mistake to see this as a men vs. women thing...it is something we ALL need to work on. Can we agree that if everyone was more uplifting of their spouse than many many relationship issues would resolve?
  8. My doctor (or the office for that matter) never called me back. I think I might call back tomorrow if still no reply. BTW EVERYTHING is covered 100% (with $20 copay) in my benefits EXCEPT "infertility consultation," which is indeed 50%. And this was not a specialist, but in fact a GP. (I didn't know that that even mattered in some cases..hmmph). You would think that the doctor would review and go "hmm...I can see how this was supposed to billed as a physical exam let's help a sister out and bill it as that instead of what I originally put." But whatever, we'll see I guess. The crazy thing is, is my husband did the same exam on the same day and got the same blood work/vaccinations. All of his were covered but because I mention we want to start a family next year and can I get some prenatal vitamins suddenly it is an infertility consultation. To be honest the bill is expensive, but not HUGE. If it goes unresolved I might just pay it. I've had a medical bill on my credit a while back and it DESTROYED my credit. Just barely been able to pull my score back up.
  9. I called my insurance co again and they said pretty much exactly word for word what you said. It started with my Dr. telling them to bill for "infertility consultation/family planning" I called dr.'s office and left a message with a secretary who was very helpful. Here's to hoping that it'll get resolved and I don't have to worry about this anymore (and my dr. gets back to me fairly soon). Until then, I won't pay a dime of the bill. Praying for a good outcome.
  10. I wonder if I should call the actual doctor's office. I guess I'm a little afraid that for some weird reason my doctor interpreted my visit as a "family Planning consultation" even though I didn't talk about fertility at all. Just that we were going to TTC next year. I know it's a mistake but it's not like they put in the wrong code or something. It would be one thing if it was put in as something completely out of this world like "acupuncture" or something. Not sure specifically how to fight this thing and I wish I could solve this thing faster. A week and a half seems a little over the top.
  11. We have great health insurance coverage, so my husband and I went to the dr.'s office last month for a routine physical and blood work just to check and see if we were healthy. While I was there I mentioned that we were going to TTC next year sometime. She gave me some information, we talked about some other things and then I got my blood work done. Well, I get a big old bill in the mail and when I called my insurance to figure out why it wasn't fully covered, they tell me it was sent through as an "infertility consultation" which is only 50% covered by my insurance! I never even mentioned infertility, just that we were gonna try next year! So anyways, I called the billing office at the dr.'s to get them to resend the claim or whatever and I can hear her typing up something for a while and she says she will set it up for review and she will call me back. I ask her how long I can expect and she says a week and a half--well my BILL is due on Nov. 2nd! Should I pay and if it is reviewed as wrongful will someone pay me back? I've never had something like this happen before. Like I said, my husband went to the exact same dr and got the exact same lab work done and was fully covered! So mad!
  12. You mentioned earlier that you feel unworthy to enter the temple. Was I reading something wrong? I was only mentioning that because you mentioned it first :) Up until very recently (I am 27) I was heavily influenced by my mother. She was pretty much my guide in life. I still respect her opinions. But I now realize that much of the time she was wrong. I still go to her for advice but I can say that when she stayed home from church, so did I. I pretty much leaned on her. Granted she never left the church--my point is is that I can see why it would be difficult to have your own super-solid testimony when you leaned on your mother's and then eventually she left. There is no doubt in my mind that would be very difficult. I unfortunately do not have a definitive answer to why you feel the way you do...but I can say through personal experience that again, you are not alone. Continue to study your scriptures, patriarchal blessing, whatever. And please see your bishop, he is your ally.
  13. It sounds like Satan is trying to tear you down as you have said. I'm not sure if your underage "sin" (I use quotations here because again I do not believe whatever it was was an actual sin) as anything to do with how you feel right now. You brought it up however, which leads me to believe that it might at least be part of something. You say you want to get married in the temple, but you feel unworthy. Based on the fact you said this relays to me that you still have a testimony and feel strongly about attending the temple someday. But why do you feel unworthy? You don't have to share why exactly but do you think this is causing your feeling "torn down?" Only you can answer that.
  14. I think it's also safe to say that going back to the basics of building your testimony: studying, praying, and even talking to others is the way to build your testimony. You may find that what is occurring right now, at this very moment is what is creating your testimony. How very powerful that is!
  15. Chrissy I understand from your posts that you are very young. I applaud you for being mature to ask for advice and to recognize at this very critical stage in life that your need for a personal testimony is, well, necessary for survival spiritually. You mentioned you committed a "sin" younger than 8. I don't know what that "sin" was but I can pretty much guarantee you that what your bishop said in this case is true. You are not unworthy of anything you did at that age. Is this event in your life causing this blockage of feeling the spirit you think? I don't know what this event is, but from personal experience I had an "event" happen to me at the age of 6 and felt guilty until about the age of 23 when I realized that it was all psychological guilt. Meaning I was depressed from what had happened to me and for some reason I internalized it as guilt. I'm not saying this is what is occurring in your case but I hope that maybe helps to see it from that perspective. And yes, if you are still feeling guilt from what happened to you as a child seeing the bishop can be very, very freeing.