Brian79

I think she has the brainwashed fear as well. She has mentioned that before but her fear of me going off the deep end stems from her friends husband who did that same thing (IMO). Since he acted that way she is thinking I will act the same. There are so many differences between the scenarios but she doesn't see that she just thinks that if you leave the church you will lead an immoral life. I think I can only show her by example that's not the case (I haven't left the church btw, I just don't feel the same about it). The divorce comment is rough. Was that hard for you to hear? I guess saying I would. consider divorce is not as hard as the spouse saying I would divorce you (definitely). Margaret, I hear what you are saying about it being a tough week. I don't know how it will be for you but we've had a lot of those weeks. I think it's something that is so important that the hurt doesn't just go away. It has dragged on for us (but definitely good times in between). Take care of that baby and enjoy Christmas (what horrible timing...) Finrock, I read the article you posted. I liked it but there were parts I definitely don't agree with. I am glad that the church is trying to address these situations.

Backroads good call about faceseast I always forget about them since I am the one who doesn't believe as before. I wonder if my wife would like that site.... Margaret, I am really glad that things look good for you now. You are not alone and it is a tough situation but if everything else is good in the marriage then its really no reason to get divorced. It's too sad that so many people do. You are also lucky that your husband is not wanting to go off the deep end and start partying like crazy. My wife really thought (initially) that was what this was all about and it took time to show her that I'm the same person I've always been.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It is a tough one. I hope that it all works out for you. I think it can for the right people. I would think about if you want to be with him as he is now (assuming that he doesn't return to church) and go from there. My wife wants me to return to belief and I want her to leave but I really want her to follow her own beliefs more. Also I would consider children and how they will be raised etc. I personally feel that I am happier with my wife even with these differences than I would be without her. She feels the same about me. That helps us to work through the differences and find common ground. It can be hard when things are changing and that's why we have rules of what is and what is not OK. Our list includes things like pornography and alcohol. Best of luck!

I am in the same situation but I am the guy that is having a faith crisis and my wife is you. What I can tell you is that it is very painful to lose your faith. It happens in all religions to all types of people. It is a real loss and he is going through the stages of grieving. You are also grieving for a real loss. I really appreciated when my wife would support me through this loss. I did not want testimony bearing what I wanted was a shoulder to cry on. I try to provide the same support for her. I still don't want testimony bearing but I have grown to appreciate spiritual experiences such as walks in nature and looking at the stars. I don't know his situation but I can tell you that I was not offended and I am not involved in any major sin. What caused it to happen? I don't know but I think for me it was a natural extension of who I am. I question things, I use my logic and science side of my brain etc. Maybe he is the same way and maybe not. I believe it is possible to make your marriage work. There are many people who do. I would show love and respect and make it clear you expect the same from him. We made new rules in our marriage about what was and what was not OK in our relationship. We thought about what the deal breakers were for both of us and we set up a plan. He may come back to church activity and he may not. It sounds like him being inactive is not a deal breaker for you. That is good. What sites does he visit? Feel free to PM me if you want more info. I hope this was helpful. God bless!