Hyena

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Everything posted by Hyena

  1. Just A GUY That's the feeling I got when I encountered this question. That by the simple virtue of there being these well defined, organized, and delineated roles specifically spelled out for men in a clear and concise hierarchy vs women simply being lumped into "relief society" caused some concern. Of course, i fully understand that to a strong, independent woman in modern times, the idea of men being seen as in any way even remotely "superior" or having any type of "authority" over women is a red flag of concern. I think people have been fighting the concept of gender roles and identity so long now that they've lost the ability to separate a real gender inequality issue from a negative perspective. In truth, I don't think they realize that having priesthood power doesn't give men some sort of exalted or elevated status with which to RULE over women, only that it seems to focus on the duties and different functions of their respective gender roles within the service to the Lord. Heavenly Father made us two types (Male and female) for a reason, and child bearing isn't the sole explanation for that. Still I'm not sure what I would say to an investigator to alleviate her concerns or explain the reasons why things are as they are in a way that would quickly satisfy someone with zero experience of the church, doctrine, or its structure.
  2. That's a good thought mrs. Jenamarie. In truth that did bother me as well because it kinda made me feel like "well you're a MAN so you're more prone to sinning cause you're less perfect." I certainly don't feel like I'm an inherently deviant person. I'm 30 and still have remained abstinent, I don't have an affinity towards porn or the desire to use women as sexual objects. But I'm still curious as to why there aren't like nuns or a similar structure for women. Is it just due to the time frame the church was founded?
  3. Wingnut, would you kindly please tell me your opinion? I'm very interested in hearing all perspectives as I acknowledge I'm still very very ignorant in the ways of our Church. Thank you!
  4. Thanks for that! I guess it's a question that comes up a bit. I think it is because we hear so much about the various types of priesthood authority that men have.
  5. I was just wanting to get some broader perspectives or thoughts on a question I had posed to me earlier this week. On a visit to an investigator with the missionaries, the investigator asked during a discussion of the various priesthoods and their levels (aaronic, teacher, apostles, etc) and she asked what do women have. The missionaries explained something of how the sisters have relief society and how women or daughters are exalted above others on his shoulders or something and that men are more prone to carnality or temptations of the flesh than women are and that's why we need the priesthood and they don't. Can anyone share some thoughts to help me understand in case I'm ever approached with this again? Thanks
  6. Still a little confused... So when you ask for priesthood blessing you don't ask for anything specific? The priest administering the blessing is the one that follows the spirit And just gives you a random blessing based off of what the Spirit tells him is that correct?
  7. Lol thank you. I appreciate the advice. I just am a "thinker" I always wonder about things. I'm sure when the time is right she will let me know. For now I just want to ensure I'm living the Gospel as best I can. :)
  8. Thanks everyone. I'm still very confused on many facets of our faith. I was too embarrassed to ask my ward members for fear of looking like a putz. I'm thankful for everyone's insight and explanation. In truth is really like zero chance I'll end up that girl anyway. I guess I was just hoping some divine intervention might illuminate things and give me a hint as to take a chance or just focus on more important things and just stay friends. I think ultimately I know my answer. Focus on the church, my calling, and helping my ward family in any capacity I can. Maybe that's what the bible meant about church being a bride. Love, if and when it comes, we come when God is ready for me to have it.
  9. I still don't fully understand the scope of the priesthood and its blessing ability. I know that you can get a healing blessing if sick, can have the holy ghost bestowed upon you, and get a patriarchal blessing which is more like a revelation or fortune telling(?) to my knowledge? But what about other things? Specifically, there is a woman I am acquainted with that I have become rather smitten over. We get along well enough, but I was wondering if it is possible to be blessed by a priesthood holder to help know if she is someone I should indeed pursue avidly or if there is a blessing to help promote romantic feelings or growth together? Maybe a blessing to help me seem more appealing to her in that which she would like for a romantic partner? I'm just uncertain what the rules for blessings and such are and figured I'd ask here in anonymity instead of embarrassing myself asking a real ward priesthood holder lol. Thank you.
  10. Thank you both, that helped a lot! I guess I just wondered why he couldn't have just tied him up or something and then pretended to be him. But I understand now that they would have known no peace because Laban was also a descendant of Joseph.
  11. Can someone explain to me why it was important, necessary even, so much that, yea, the spirit compelled Nehi, even against his desire to kill another person, to murder essentially an unarmed and helpless man essentially in his sleep? What about love thy neighbor, even thy enemy? It's the one thing that really bothers me about the book of Nephi 1 . Please help me understand? Thanks.
  12. Thanks everyone for your responses. I think I know what I might say to her. My heart goes out to her, I know how cruel this world can be in regards to how we treat people who are less attractive. It's not right but it's also part of life. People fall in love with their eyes, the heart follows later. All that nonsense about "it's whats on the inside that counts" is about as realistic as trying to stop the tide with a spaghetti strainer. People judge by the outside first and if they can't get by what you look like they'll never get the chance to know what is in on the inside. Even if they do, they'll never get past the outside anyway because people have an affinity to aesthetic appeal. The heart wants what the eyes want. That'll never change, so we should all just accept it and move on.
  13. Love, to me, is one of the greatest, and simultaneously cruelest, gifts bestowed on us by Heavenly Father. On one hand it seems we have the agency to choose whom to give our love to, but in regards to whom we actually fall in love with, there seems to be very little agency at all. I understand how some of the advice by well meaning friends here is meant to have yours and hers best interest at heart. But in ways I also think that sometimes people forget what it is to be laid low by unrequited love. We seldom get to choose whom we love and contrary to popular belief, feelings of love can't simply be transfered to someone else on a whim. The heart wants what the heart wants, and for some of us there can and will be no one else... in this life or perhaps even the next. I think there is also a lesson here on the responsibility of being direct with people. True kindness is not sparing someone's feelings from being hurt by refusing to acknowledge the truth. She should have told him straight out that friends were all they would ever be. How difficult is that to do really? If she was afraid of losing a dear friend, then that speaks to a.) her own selfishness that she'd put HER needs above his, and b.) that there was no trust or faith in the friendship on her end, that she would assume that by being honest and true with him would result in him not treating her with the same kindness in return. Often I feel that women in general have a difficult time with candor in affairs of the heart. Men are pretty much straight forward and blunt in their affections and desires, but women tend to be more secretive and coy, and refrain from any type of direct and open confrontations on the subject. ALL of this poor soul's problems could have been prevented had she simply been honest and upfront about the status of their friendship from the jump instead of playing "maybe, maybe not" games. I guess I sympathize with him because I live in a similar situation. I have been in love firmly with the same woman for the past four years. I have made efforts to reveal my feelings and in ways she somewhat responded. I have told her I love her and she has responded in kind. But when I suggest a possible relationship, she's given me really cryptic responses. When I finally in frustration said why don't you just tell me yes or no and that it means we'll never be together then. Her response was, and I quote, "Never say never. None of us knows what the future holds." Really? Great, sure that's definitely not giving someone hope, right? Of course it really matters not whether she gives me hope or not because I decided long ago it would be her or no one. Seeing as it appears it will never be her, I've settled confidently on a life of humanitarian service and devotion to the church. I have no regrets. Some of the greatest loves in history have been unrequited. I will use those feelings and channel them into great works of love in the name of Jesus. What could be a more fitting tribute? I harbor no ill feelings, I wish her the best. I just know that no one will ever take her place in my heart and I'm fine with that. I don't need to date or search for someone else or force myself to try to love another or stalk her around begging and pleading. I will be here if and when she ever needs me because I love her and I care about her no matter what the nature of our relationship is. That is my suggestion to you, sir. Take that love you feel and refocus it. Put it into your work like you did on your mission. Give yourself completely over to God and follow the teachings of Christ and your life will be much more fulfilling in ways no woman could ever hope to match. If you truly ever loved her, and I know this is cliche', but then love her enough to let her go. Love her enough to be happy that she has found happiness and purpose in life. Pray to Heavenly Father for the strength to be a better man and thank Him for letting you know the experience of real true love. Find solace in that your heart was capable of such a beautiful gift as the gift of love. And realize your own great worth. With love, your Brother, Hyena
  14. Someone posed a question to me I don't know how to answer or how to help this person. Essentially, without going into too much detail, this person is suffering because they are single and alone. Granted they are obese and consider themselves unattractive (I try not to judge so I won't offer my opinion on the matter) but they've apparently been praying for years fervently for companionship or for heavenly father to aid them in losing weight. So far, it seems their prayers have gone unanswered, the person they are infatuated with thinks of them naturally as just a friend, they suspect because of their size and appearance. They have expressed that they are fast losing their faith... after all, how could Heavenly Father stand to see his child so lonely and isolated and feeling unloved? Why are their prayers not being answered? I wish I knew what to say, where to turn, how to convince this person that Heavenly Father does care and does hear their prayer. Any advice to comfort a tormented soul?
  15. Yes I did. I talked them for months. It really helped make things less awkward and nervous. I'd recommend it to anyone. Honestly, by the time I had met real missionaries I was pretty much prepared for everything to the point that I'm certain my missionaries thanked Heavenly Father for such an easy conversion. By the time I had met them I had already Learned the basic lessons, had read the Book of Mormon, determined it to be true, fully believed Joseph Smith was indeed a prophet, and was pretty much an LDS member in my heart. The only obstacle to overcome was my fear of meeting new people and the actual act of life changing baptism/conversion. Since then my quality of life and mental health (ie happiness) have improved 10 fold. I love this church. My only regret is that it took so long to find my family and home. I think of all the years wasted and I weep.
  16. I was thinking that myself. I know they can now email on P-day, but I didn't think missionaries even had access to visit websites and such or even use the internet while out on their mission.
  17. Your journey ends when and where YOU decide it ends. You're an adult, mostly, and at some point you are going to have to make decisions that are best for you. You Cannot live your entire life for others. At some point, and often, you are going to have to choose between what is RIGHT and what is EASY. Seldom is anything ever both of those at the same time. The bible says to honor thy mother and father, but we also have Heavenly Parents to obey. We also have our own agency (You will hear that word a lot in this church) Which essentially means that you have the free will to choose. But there's a catch; having the free will to choose also means that you must except the consequences for your choice. Maybe now is not your time to join the church. But someday you will be living on your own working at your own career, paying your bills, starting your own family. Then you may have the chance to decide again. That's how I came to this choice. I realized I have to think and act for my best interest as a man, an adult. My family, if they love me, will eventually come to accept me for what I am. If not, well... I can't control that.. But it's better than letting THEM control ME. Like I said before though, I am pretty new to this church so I'm not certain if what I am telling you is the right thing to say. Perhaps one of the wiser members on this forum come along and give you some really useful advice. Until then, all I can offer you is my testimony, friendship, and my love.
  18. What you can do Judy is locate a ward near your home and pop by during the day to the Church. You can then meet someone and ask them to give a message to the Missionaries to call your personal cell phone. If you explain the situation to them, they DO understand and they are more than willing to work around the situation. They are fully aware of some of the obstacles normal people face in converting into this Church. One thing I would impress upon anyone, from my personal experience, is that joining this Church has to be something you TRULY want, because while we feel joy and completion at finally discovering the truth and serving God with our new spiritual family, becoming a Mormon is not a party. It's choosing a difficult life, at least, and it's marking yourself as a target at worst. You'll find there are people with some violently ridiculous views of our faith. THey think of us as a cult. As bigomists. As racists and bigots. The irony there is that I'm black. And people then consider me a "sell out," as if I volunteered to serve at the white master's feet (I've been told these things recently by some "Christian" black friends, all out of "concern" don't you know..) One thing I learned way early is the amount of bias, stereotyping, and irrational prejudice there are against us JUST for daring to believe. You know how Atheists like Bill Maher treat religious people? Well replace Atheists with OTHER so-called "Christians" and you have a surprising situation where people who claim they follow the teachings of Christ suddenly seem to forget ALL of that "love thy neighbor" stuff when it comes to us Mormons. So be prepared for mental and emotional battles, probably all of your life. The good news is, this Church more than any other rallies around one another and is truly a FAMILY. This isn't like any other church I've ever experienced, where you go to church, pray, and then go home and spend the rest of the week living like you have no religion at all, only to go sit in Church on Sunday again and assume all is forgiven and you're writing your ticket to Heaven. It is a church of WORK... there is always something to do in the service of the Lord and we live the scriptures, we live by the teachings of Christ, we make an ACTUAL EFFORT to be perfect like Jesus' example (spoiler: we fail at it, alot, but the point is that we TRY). If you can handle that, and if you can handle people you never would have spoken to ever on the street treating you suddenly like a blood relative or their own child or their sister or loved one, then I'd say this church is absolutely for you. If you believe in Christ, and you believe that there is a true Gospel and that it is possible for Heavenly Father to commission a new prophet to complete his works in Joseph Smith and that the fullness of the Gospel has finally been restored back on Earth, then absolutely this Church is what you need. We know it, we live it, we love it! That's our creed, our motto. All I know is, I'm a very unhappy person. I've suffered a lot in my life. I've tried to reconcile it every which way I can. Sure, people think I'm a bundle of laughs, but in reality, I've been scarred in a number of ways over my lifetime, and there was a period of time when I think I cried every single night for a year. Then I went searching. I found this church. And for the first time in a long time, I am truly, deeply, purely... at peace. Maybe not entirely happy all the time.. but at peace. ANd who could ask for more? The missionaries were more than eager to meet me ANYWHERE but my house. We met at the Church most of the time to talk. Most of my ward members know that my home is not a very safe place for me to conduct Church business and they accommodate. This church is about LOVE and being a family and they don't want to cause you strife and trouble at home. They will be glad to work with you and around your issues. One thing I DO want to stress though, given that advice... I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of aiding you in sneaking around and keeping secrets. I mean, on one hand, it's important for you to do what Heavenly Father would want you to do... our Earthly families have no dominion in that regard... Our heavenly parent's desires take precedent. That said, I would not wish what my life is like on any one. I still feel that in ways I'm sneaking about doing something, when I want to share my testimony and joy with my family. But I know they don't want to hear it, they'll just be combative so I don't talk about it. But I DID tell them my intentions. I did at least ATTEMPT to talk to them about me joining, my baptism and etc. THey just chose not to accept it, and to keep the arguments to a minimum I elected to forgo bringing it up to them. At least for a while. Eventually, I imagine I'll slowly be able to introduce tidbits of my spiritual life to them and they'll grow accustomed to it and maybe even accepting. I don't hold out any fantasies that they'll have a change of heart and join the church themselves someday, but I pray for it. THe bottom line is, you must find your own path to salvation and your own happy medium of compromise. If you are anything like me, you love your parents dearly and hate to do anything that upsets them. But sometimes, you gotta make an omelet, and that requires shaking a few chickens. Or something like that. I'll pray for you, love.
  19. Yes! In fact, I'm ashamed to admit that all things considered I think I broke a commandment by engaging in idolatry... I used to say prayers to the Saints by lighting candles and praying over and over... Catholicism prayer isn't as much a conversation with the Lord as it is repetition and memorization. But I remember using different candles for different things. I remember I was so in love with this one girl.. I prayed daily to a candle of Saint Antonio for him to grant me her love. Never happened. But I did decide that it wasn't God who didn't answer me... it was because I was praying to the wrong person for a stupid reason.
  20. Those are great suggestions! Thank you very much! I'll try them!
  21. And if you need a friend to talk to I be glad to listen. Or whatever. Just know that I'm a terrible Mormon Because I don't know anything yet!
  22. I know exactly how you feel. I JUST went through this, I still am. My family is severely opposed to this faith. My brother is a baptist minister. When I mentioned my interest in the church my brother darn near stages an intervention. My mother flat out said she'd rather I had no religion and go to hell than join that "cult." The amount of hatred and intolerance left me stunned. I ceased to discuss it with them. My mother began having "heart attack" symptoms every time I tried to talk about my feelings. It would be "Oh, I feel so light headed! My heart is fluttering..." For a while I considered a dual identity. Being in both religions to keep the peace. I'd convert in secret and just attend church occasionally with my mother and brother. This way, everyone is pleased. But eventually I realized that I love this church too much to live a lie. I could not knowingly sit in another service and listen to people be instructed in the wrong teachings. To be led blindly. I casually mentioned to my family about the baptism but I don't think they believed me. Ultimately I just let the subject drop and never mentioned it again. That was a month ago. I've been a happy Mormon and faithful since then. I don't explain why I do what I do or why I changed the way I do certain things like stopped drinking tea and ceased watching shows with graphic or pornographic images. I don't explain where it is I go every Sunday morning without fail. I decided that by living the life, my example will be my argument to them. Let my actions speak for me and the LDS church, not my words. I stopped living in fear. I respect them enough to avoid talking about it. But I also am no longer afraid of losing my family, Because I have a new family: the members of my ward. I have come to love my new brothers and sisters dearly in the short time I've known them. Sure on the goofiest Mormon I think ever, And at times I feel like a lost puppy to most of the motherly members but I know that these people care about me to an extent. So no matter what happens I know I will not be alone. Someone in the church will be there for me and will love me. And most of all heavenly Father will love me. And that is all that really matters.
  23. lol Isn't that like praying to Heavenly Father to help you learn how to become a great swimmer and the next day a flood washes away your house?
  24. So the way that the LDS deal with the death of a friend is to try and send as many of his family and friends after him by filling their arteries with cheesy cholesterol?? Haha! I can attest that I've never eaten so healthy or good since I joined. I'm a college student on a poor budget, so When I do get around to accepting the occasional invite for dinner, It's often things of never eaten before, like hamburger gravy and kale. Sadly it seems like some of the moms in the ward try to treat me like a lost child, constantly trying to pity feed me lol. I don't want to seem like a charity case so I do sometimes decided to pass and enjoy my usual ramen dinner. Lol
  25. I live in San Antonio Texas. I've been a member for officially one month. But I feel like I've been LDS from birth! It was like a homecoming. Officially I began investigating at the last general conference.