LoToms

Vort- I would also like to say something else. Your quote under your post says "As if anyone could knowingly commit sin without being changed both in spirit, body, and mind. Let me say this again, sin changes who we are! --james12" If you believe that sin changes who we are, why would experiences not do the same thing? We are changed based on our decisions, experiences, and tragedies.

I would have to disagree with this. We ARE our experiences. What we do makes us who we are. If what we do is study the scriptures and has daily communication with our Father in Heaven, then we are someone who has a close relationship with God, and an understanding of who Christ is. There is not one part of me that is because of something I have not experienced. Our experiences either make us develop attributes or scare us away from developing attributes. In this case, what he went through allowed him to develop characteristics that he would not have developed otherwise. So, yes, if he did not go through what he did go through, he would not be the same person. He would be a different man. I would not have fallen in love with him and his qualities if he did not have those qualities. So to tell me that we are more than a sum of our experiences, I would like to counter that and say that our experiences define who we are, what decisions we make, where we want to go in life, what attributes we possess, and ultimately changes who we are.

Okay, many of you might think this is a silly question - but how do you embrace a previous marriage rather than just be "OK" with it. Let me explain.. I am getting married in just a few weeks. I am kind of young, only 19. He is 25. My fiance has been married before. However, it was only for a short period of time (8 months) before it got annulled. There are no financial obligations, kids, or any contact whatsoever. It is never mentioned unless it has to be. He never brings it up, and in fact is it as if it never happened. But here's the thing -- every time I think about it, I wish it never happened. But it did. And he has grown so much spiritually and emotionally, and has made him the person he is today. It was an abusive relationship. He went to marriage counselling for months without her showing up before calling it quits. He learned how to be a great husband, and I am so grateful for that. It has made him who he is. It was hard at first to hear about it. To know about it. To take it in. But I know that if he didn't go through what he has gone through, he wouldnt be the man I am marrying. SO - how do I turn those thoughts of appreciation into how I feel whenever it comes up in my head, within conversation, or with anything. How do I not just think of my gratitude but feel that gratitude? I dont just want to feel okay with it, but be embrace it and feel the blessings that have come from it. If anyone has any advice, I would very much appreciate it. I am so excited to be marreid to this wonderful man, I want to be able to embrace everything about him -- even the things that I feel aren't so joyous.