LilyBelle00

Just to let those who care know, we had our baby boy on Tuesday, Nov 24. He was 7.3 and 20 1/2 inches long. He's beautiful and perfect!!

We actually had a fairly good day at church yesterday. That's sort of awful to say because my husband woke up not feeling well...but because of that we were able to ride to church in the same vehicle for the first time in over 6 months AND leave together afterwards! So it was really nice to have some help and get to eat lunch together. :)

I'm sorry for looking like I abandoned this post (but maybe it's a good thing I did). I posted it when I was feeling particularly down and frustrated and alone. I am sorry for using the word "cult". I shouldn't have used such a sensitive word. I do want to give a big thank you to the ones who read my post and used reading comprehension skills to recognize that I wasn't calling the LDS church a cult. Again, I shouldn't have used that particular word. Also, it's not just that I don't like the social activities. I don't, but that's besides the point. They could plan a social activity for every night of the week if they wanted to. I don't care. The problem is telling my husband that it's his job to attend every activity they plan, it's his job to sit and listen to fishing stories for 3 hours at a "meeting", it's his job to be away from his family 3+ nights a week. When my husband tried to tell them that he needed to take a step back to spend more time with his family he was brushed off. Told to pray about his feelings like they were wrong. Anyway, thank you to all the ones who read my post and understood what I was trying to say with all my rambling. Thank you to the ones who actually had helpful advice and even just support. I don't want to become inactive and it's important to me for our children to be raised in the church (because I do love THE church). My poor husband is ready to pack up and move just to get away but that's not possible. Hopefully we'll be able to figure something out. Also, for those who care, I'm STILL pregnant.

Yep... I just used the dreaded "C word." After laughing at people who called the Church a cult all my life, now I'm feeling like I'm actually in one. I do not believe that the LDS Church is a cult! I love the Church. I've been a member all my life. We belong to a very small branch and that's where our problems stem from. I feel like the branch "cultish". I'm sure "cult" is too strong of a word but I don't know how to describe it. They keep scheduling activities and meetings. We are a tiny branch of maybe 20-30 active members, most of them over the age of 60. We are one of 3 families with young children. My husband is 2nd counselor in the presidency. He's expected to go to a meeting every Wednesday night. This meeting starts at 6pm and can last past 9pm because the other men sit around and just talk about random topics (fishing, work) and will not dismiss the meeting. My husband gets home from work at 5:30 so he doesn't get to spend any time with me or the kids that night (7yo, 4yo, and one on the way). He's also expected to stay after church every Sunday for another meeting that lasts "an hour". He didn't get out of church today until after 2. They also schedule activities every week. We have at least 2 "branch activities" a month. This is just random "fun" things like fish frys or chili cook offs. We also have a monthly "family night" where everyone comes and does an activity...while the kids run around like crazy. It's definitely not what I'd consider a family night. Plus, we have BOM class and they want to start an "Addiction Recovery" class that the president thinks "everyone should come to". This is of course all on top of my husband still having people to HT and being asked to take the missionaries out visiting a couple times a month. He's getting majorly burnt out. Tonight we were sitting down to dinner and he got a call saying that he needed to go visit someone with the missionaries and he was the only one who could do it. We are (or used to be) a very close family. This is hurting our marriage and our kids. They cry for him and ask why he's always gone. I'm 9 months pregnant and feeling abandoned. I try not to get angry with him because I know it's not his fault but it is frustrating. He feels like he can't say anything because the branch is so small and they "need" him for everything. I feel like the other men are piling too much on him and not realizing that he's the only one who also has a young family and a job to worry about (they are mostly either retired or semi retired). And the guilt!! Last time he tried to bring up the fact that he was feeling stretched thin and like he wasn't spending enough time with his family, they told him that he needed to pray about his feelings...and continued to call him for everything. He also gets singled out sometimes in the meetings if we miss one of the branch activities. We like to do things together as a family, not with other people. We both work full time so we also enjoy our time off together...but he's made feel guilty if we skip out. A few weeks ago my sister had her first baby. That Saturday was our branch's fish fry. We chose to go visit her and the baby instead...Sunday they wanted to know where we were and when he told them the president kept making little comments about how his "job" was to be there for the activities and that I could have visited my sister another day. Apparently I've also been put on a list of people who need more attention and visits because I've missed the past 2 Sundays. The first one was because I was having major pregnancy pains and this one was because one of my kids was sick with a fever. I feel like we are teetering on the edge of inactivity because we can't handle all this. We have been in other wards and I don't remember it being like this. We were inactive for many years and we were very happy and thankful when this little branch opened in our town but now we are both actually missing our inactive life!! Is this normal?? Are other branches this busy and all consuming? I feel like we are being pulled away from other family and friends. Are we just being anti social? Because we can be. We are not very social and mostly just really enjoy being together as a family.

Thanks for the suggestions. I should mention that this is a very small group also with only maybe 4-5 women coming to the monthly meetings out of the maybe 8-10 active churchgoing ladies. I'm thinking that for the first meeting I'll do something easy and then maybe start asking what they are interested in and what skills they can teach... Unfortunately, most of these women are not active. Usually when I ask a question or try to talk to them all I get are blank smiles and nods.

I haven't posted anything in a very long time. I'm surprised I remembered my login information! Anyway, I had a calling in Primary Presidency and I hated it.... now I have a new calling in RS Presidency and I hate it just as much. I'm starting to think the problem is ME. It's really hard to go from being inactive for over 10 years to suddenly being in the Presidency of anything. Especially having been inactive during pretty much all of my "adult" life before now. I feel like I just want to go and enjoy church and learn but instead I'm suddenly "in charge" of things I know NOTHING about! It's because we are a very, very small branch so it's slim pickings when it comes to callings. So anyway, I'm in charge of the RS monthly enrichment activities. Yay. It wouldn't be so bad if we had more members...and younger. I'm 31 and I'm the youngest one in RS by a good 40 years. Seriously. Anything that I'm interested in (family, children, strengthening marriage) doesn't pertain to anyone else there. Everyone is widowed/never married, most live alone.... I'm clueless. Any ideas for activities that I can plan that they might enjoy?

Thank you. This is exactly how I feel. I know that we need to evaluate the content of movies case by case but the rating system just makes that a little bit easier by knocking out a whole chunk of movies for me. If the ratings people consider the movie to have content that is "restricted" then it would seem that people who strive to live above worldly standards would feel the same... I would also much rather get my historical knowledge from actual biographies or records and not whatever spin Hollywood wants to puts on it. 'The Patriot,' 2000 | Top 10 Historically Misleading Films | TIME.com

I understand that we need to check the content of the movies we watch but I've always applied that to movies not rated R. That's what I assume the authorities are speaking of when they mention movies but don't specifically mention a rating. I'm still ok with the thought of "if it's rated R it must not be a movie I should see" and making that rating off limits for me and my family. I guess the fact that the General Authorities have stopped mentioning the ratings has made some members, including this missionary, think that it's ok to watch anything. I personally think that by not mentioning the R rating the GAs are saying "We already said stay away from R movies in the 80's and now other ratings are getting worse so we need to check the content of any movie we watch."

I've thought about speaking to the mission president several times about him. I don't want to tattle but at the same time I really do not think that he's acting appropriately. The mission president and his wife are two of the people that I've heard him speak cruelly of! It's gotten to the point where I almost want to ask my husband to stop going out with them because I feel like they (really just the one) is a bad influence. The sad thing is that this guy replaced a missionary who was really great. I find myself counting the days until this one leaves.

I'm a little irritated right now... I grew up LDS. We were not allowed to watch R rated movies in our house. As a teenager I snuck a few in with friends but now that I'm older and have a family of my own, I stick strongly by that. My husband did not grow up LDS. Not at all. As a young child he rarely watched children's movies and instead his family watched R rated movies with him. His favorite movies were all R rated. After he was baptized and we were married, I asked him to stop watching R rated movies and he (grudging) did for awhile. After we became inactive he started watching them again occasionally but it was always a little sore point between us because he knew I didn't agree with it. He would watch them while I was at work or after I went to bed. So fast forward to now.... We are active again, sealed in the temple, he's "moving on up" in the church, and things are great. He stopped watching R rated movies. He goes out with the missionaries quite a bit. At least once a week. There is one missionary that I'm not really fond of. I feel awful saying that because I still have this naive ingrained thought that missionaries should be above reproach. This guy just gives me a bad feeling. Not that he's really a bad guy...just that he's not really "into" it. He talks bad about other people in the church, including some members of the branch presidency. It can be really uncomfortable for my husband and I and I'm always warning my husband not to get sucked into what this guy is saying or telling him. My husband just tries to change the subject. Anyway, they were at an investigator's house and got to talking about movies. The missionary was talking about different movies that he liked and all of them were R rated. Not just R rated but some of them were pretty bad horror or raunchy comedy movies. He kept asking my husband if he had seen them and my husband just kept saying no. The missionary pressured him some more and told him that he really needed to see this particular one and the investigator offered to let him borrow it. My husband declined and the missionary asked him why so finally my husband said that we weren't supposed to be watching R rated movies. The missionary laughed at him. He said "That's bull. Show me in the scriptures where it says that." My husband, whose not well versed yet in all these things, just said that he thought it was something that a prophet might have said years back and the missionary just laughed and said "R rated movies are just like caffeine, you got some Mormons who say we can't have it but the church doesn't care." All of this was said in front of the investigator. I don't know what the other missionary was doing or saying but he's younger and hasn't been out very long, so he seems to just follow the lead of whoever he's with. Am I right to be upset by this? My husband was a little embarrassed by the whole exchange. He asked me about it but said that he trusted me. I searched "r rated" on LDS.org and showed him all the talks and such telling us to avoid movies like that. What do you think? Do you watch them?

It would be sort of "The Office" like. Just because I work in an office setting and my coworkers are crazy.

My favorite topic!!!! We have 2 1/2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 parakeet, and a tank full of fish. The fish and the parakeet are both kind of boring.... The fish are well, fish and the parakeet is not a big fan of people. Our cat is a big 10 year old orange tabby boy, Artie. We found him in a parking lot when he was just a starving little kitten. He very sweet but not very sociable. He never seeks out attention but enjoys cuddling when we go to him. I say 2 1/2 dogs because we have 3 living with us but one is a foster dog so not technically ours. That makes a BIG difference because I promised my husband we'd never have 3 dogs at once again....haha. Our foster dog is a big 8 year old Weimaraner, Gus. He's beautiful and the absolute easiest dog ever. If he wasn't so big we'd forget he was here. Then we have Buttercup, our Olde English Bulldogge. She's a crazy goof. She's got the funniest face. She's an "up for anything" kind of dog. She plays hard, loves hard, and gets in trouble hard. She'll be 2 in November. Last and least in size we have Jasper. He's a two year old "short haired" Havanese. It's a very rare genetic mutation of the normal incredibly long haired Havanese. He was the ugly duckling in his litter because everyone wanted the normal fluffy puppies. He's very, very cute though and is actually a long haired dog, just not compared to the breed standard. We are super lucky to have him though because he's perfect for us. He's extremely tolerant of children and just completely attached to us. I'm currently trying to talk my husband into a kitten but it's not going well.

I used to get a .50 cents, I think. My younger siblings got a $1.

I just saw the new video on Saturday. I liked it. I feel like I liked it more than the old one but I only saw the old one once for my own endowment 2 months ago, so what do I know?? :)

I get those Daily Message quotes to my email at work and this is the one that I just received a couple of minutes ago: "The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is to see a husband and his wife and their children happy at home, protected by the principles and laws of the gospel, sealed safely in the covenants of the everlasting priesthood. Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling—from which they will never be released—is to one another and then to their children." —Boyd K. Packer Coincidence??? lol. :)

Yes and no. She admits that leaving like that probably wasn't the best choice but she's one of those people who places the blame on everyone else. "I'm sorry BUT..." She's still very selfish. She's a serial cheater but it's not her fault! All of her husbands and boyfriends have been "controlling" and she's just trying to find happiness.... She does love us. It's just a different kind of love. More like a friend or aunt maybe. She'll do anything for us as long as it's convenient for her.

Yes, Dravin, I think that's mostly it. After the kids are in bed I'm usually feeling exhausted from my day plus there's always house work that needs to be done. It definitely doesn't feel like me time. To be fair to my husband, I have not actually sat down with him and had a good talk about this. I've said little things here and there to him about it and I've said that I'd like some time, but I haven't let him know how serious it is. I know that if I did, he would try to fix it. I guess I came here first because I was worried that I was a bad person for wishing that he wasn't so involved in the church or with the missionaries. I don't want to tell him that he can't have his me time so that I can have my me time. I feel like that would just put him in the same spot that I'm in. If I took away all his "fun" time then he'd probably start resenting the church time and I really don't want that. I have a calling in Primary. I was the secretary and just last Sunday I was called to be the 1st counselor. The secretary position really wasn't anything because our primary is so small and not very well organized. I only sat in the back (holding my daughter because there's no one in nursery) and took attendance. I'm hoping that the 1st counselor position will be better and more interactive. My husband is a really great husband and father. When he's home he's very helpful with the kids and the house work. He's the one who gets the kids ready for church every Sunday. Last night he had YM and then after that he had a PEC meeting so he didn't get home until late. He felt bad because he was hoping he'd be done and home in time for me to be able to take the dog out for a walk. He brought me some some little snacks and goodies. He's a very sweet husband. I do just need to talk to him about this. Gently tell him that it's ok to say no to the missionaries sometimes.

Yes, my husband feels bad that we aren't having much family time and that the kids are crying every night when he leaves us. He understands that I'm having some problems and that I'm unhappy that I'm getting absolutely no time to myself. ....that doesn't stop him from playing basketball with friends on Saturday mornings or occasionally hanging out with some old band members on nights he has off. He does try to help a little by making everything that he can after 8pm so that the kids are going to bed. So I get to sit on the couch by myself. I think he figures that that's my me time. I've said some stuff to him about it but I always stop myself because I feel so awful and that I'm being selfish. I don't want him to have to stop having time to himself and I especially don't want him to quit helping in the church. Those 10 years that we were inactive I wished and prayed that we'd come back to the church and that he'd gain a testimony and be a strong member. Now that he is, I'm complaining. I absolutely don't want him to fall away from the church. I would like if he got asked to do less and had more time for me and the family but I hate the thought of him actually having to start telling people no. I guess it's probably just something that has to be done....

You can add my mother to that list. She married young, had six kids, was on and off active all her life. One day she just decided that she didn't have a testimony anymore. Then she left my father for a married man and walked out on us kids too. I'll never forget the day she packed her bags and left. I'm the oldest and I was angry and dry eyed. The other kids ranged in age from 14-3. The older ones just sat in silence and watched with big teary eyes but the two littlest ones (5 and 3) crying and trying to run to her as I held them. They were screaming "No Mommy don't leave us! Please mommy!" and she just looked back at them, shrugged her shoulders, and walked out the door. I still cry like a baby when I think about it. Believe it or not, my siblings and I have an ok relationship with her now many years later. It's not a normal mother/child relationship but it's ok. There's kind of a wall up. She's still a very selfish person but we are used to it now. She's not a happy person. I always feel a little jealous when people talk about being close with their mothers.

This might turn into a rambling rant and for that, I'm sorry. I've been a member of the church all my life. I love it and have a testimony. My husband is a convert of over 10 years. I've told everyone here this before but just to brush up a it, we were inactive for almost 10 years and now we are active in our new tiny branch. We became inactive shortly after my husband was baptized. He didn't seem to have a chance to develope much of a testimony and I always felt guilty for that because I felt that, as the long time member, it was my job to keep us active. Anyway, it doesn't matter now because we are active. My husband who didn't have much of a testimony is now a super member. Seriously. He seems to be one of the most popular people at church. The missionaries always gravitate towards him, probably because he's the youngest active male in our branch. So the missionaries are always asking him to go out with them at least 2, sometimes 3 times a week. Husband is also the Young Men's president so he's gone on Wednesdays nights also. Throw in PEC meetings and leadership meetings and home teaching.... Plus weekend youth trips... I feel like he's rarely home. Where am I the whole time? At home with our two children. I can never leave this house except to go to work! I work all day and come home to make dinner, clean, and take care of kids. I used to go walking with the dog most nights after dinner....not anymore! There's no time for me because my husband is always gone. The dog and I are both packing on pounds! Where am I when he's at church talking it up in the hallways and teaching and helping people? Sitting in the nursery room with our daughter, the only active nursery kid. Most Sundays I sit on the floor in the nursery and wonder why I even get dressed up and bother coming. I could watch my daughter play with toys at home in sweatpants. I do try sometimes to give a little lesson but I'm not actually the nursery teacher so I have no manual or anything. The nursery teacher never shows up. Usually we sing a few songs and then she plays while I press my ear up to the wall partition trying to hear the RS lesson. No one knows me. Last Sunday someone introduced themselves and asked if I was visiting. I've been going to this branch for almost a year so it was kind of embarrassing. Another sister jumped in and told them that I had been there since the branch opened and that I'm usually with my children instead of in RS. I try to go to the RS activities but I usually don't hear about them or hear about them at the last minute. This month's activity was on a Thursday at 1pm and since I'm a working mother I couldn't go anyway. Ok, boo hoo, right? I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself and maybe jealous of my husband for being so popular and needed in the church while I'm just completely forgotten and left out. My husband is a great guy. I love him very, very much. He's a great father and I know he loves us. He loves the church as well and feels like he can't say no to anything. I'm sure he enjoys everything he does. But it's turning me into a negative person. I feel snappy. I feel upset that I have to rush dinner every night (after I get home at 5) and put the kids to bed by myself. I feel like I want to tell him to stop being so involved. That makes me feel like a terrible wife and member of the church. I just don't know how to fix this. Just pray and eventually I'll get used to it??? Like I said, sorry for the long rant. I just have literally no one to talk to about this. Heck, I don't even really have a bishop. Our branch president (who I love and would talk to) is moving and everything is up in the air.

I think you're doing just fine. When they are babies and toddlers, they need that praise. As long as you're not telling her what a good phone talker she is at 16, you're fine. When my 2 year old daughter goes pee in the potty (she's proving to be very difficult to potty train) we dance around clapping our hands and acting like crazy people. When my 4 year old pees in the potty he doesn't get any praise. Every once in awhile, usually after we make a huge deal out of his sister going, he'll come up and say "mommy, I peed in the potty!" And I'll just say "Good job, bud. That's because you're a big boy." That's good enough for him! :)

My rocker husband makes fun of me but I seriously feel like I can enjoy and hear the music better at concerts by plugging my ears. Without my ears plugged, it just sounds like loud noise but with my ears plugged, I can actually make out the words and hear the music.

Do you have people in your life that you secretly (or not so secretly) want to convert? I mean, I know that we should look at everyone as a possible convert and all that, but do you have any special people who you think would be just perfect? Someone in my branch calls them "dry Mormons". :) I have two. One is a friend and coworker. She's the sweetest thing ever with the biggest smile. She's a genuinely good person and the first day I met her there was just something about her that made me think Mormon. I wasn't even active at the time so after a few days I casually brought up church because I half expected her to tell me she was LDS. She's a really active Baptist. We respectfully talk religion through email frequently. She's shown polite interest and curiosity about some things but I'm still hoping that one day she'll come around.... She's probably hoping the same thing about me! Lol. The other is my sister's boyfriend. He's going to be easy, I think. They went to Nauvoo with us a few weeks ago and we thought that he would probably get annoyed with all the "churchy" stuff. Instead he was super respectful, he asked lots questions, he was interested in the history there, he seemed really touched during the Carthage jail tour. He came home and told my sister that he thinks he wants to be a Mormon. Lol. The only hiccup is that him and my sister are living together. They are engaged and supposed to be getting married early next year.... We are hoping to talk them into sooner.

I joined late last year. I had just recently come back to the church after years of being inactive. I was very excited about it and wanting to talk to people who understood. :)

Sounds like you're on the right track! I'm going though potty training my 2 and a half year old daughter right now. I should have started much earlier but honestly I've just been putting it off since she's my baby. I don't want her to grow up! This poor kid didn't have any solid foods (cereal or baby food) until after 6 months and didn't' start walking until 17 months (because I carried her around everywhere). I still cradle her in my arms and carry her even though she's a heavy, lanky legged toddler. In my eyes she's still about 6 months old. Anyway, I also have a four year old son. When he was potty training he picked up going pee fairly easy but would not poop in the potty. He was terrified of it. I looked it up and it's pretty common. I bought him a book called "I Can't, I Won't, No Way!" about a little boy who's scared to go. He loved the book and he really understood what the kid was going through, but he still had problems. It was so bad. He would grab his butt and cry because he had to go so bad that it hurt but we'd sit him on the potty and he'd freeze up. As soon as we put his nighttime diaper on, he'd go poop. So finally we made a deal. I told him he could poop in the diaper but he had to be sitting on the potty. He could do that. We did that for a few nights to get him comfortable. Then one night I took his diaper into the other room and cut a big hole in that back of it. I'd didn't let I'm see it and just put it on him fast and set him on the potty before he could even realize that his booty was hanging out. He sat there for a few minutes and then stood and and said "I'm done!" His little face was priceless when I told him to look in the potty! He kept saying "I just pooped in the potty and it didn't even hurt!" We never had another problem. :) It doesn't sound like you'll need to go that far, I just thought I'd share.