bigbrotherj

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  1. I really need help and am coming here as a last effort. And I really mean A LAST EFFORT!!! If I don't get help here, I don't know what is going to happen. My wish is I get hundreds of responses here. I cannot receive enough advice, to the point I would ever say, stop. SO, PLEASE HELP!!! Here is the story (and its not the typical troubled teen story, please read to the end): Where things are right now. I'm the oldest of 4 and my youngest brother is in trouble. He's 17 and today he takes drugs (prescriptions, cocaine, marijuana), he drinks (the heavy stuff), he parties and has unprotected sex, he sells drugs, he's admitted to drinking and driving, he's got VERY HIGH depression and VERY HIGH anxiety. And finally, I don't know if there is any weight to this.... but my siblings think he is RAMPAGE SHOOTER MATERIAL!!! The Full Story My brother at age 3 stopped eating and literally almost died. He was taken to the hospital and had to be fed with tubes. The doctors attributed it to high anxiety of some sort. He was never treated with medication until just a few years ago doctors have him on and off all kind of different anxiety related meds. My family is strong in the gospel. I served a mission, my dad served a mission. My dad was a bishop for 6 years, served on the high council, stake mission president, etc. He's taught gospel seminars to hundreds of people at institute buildings around the city I'm from. He's very well known in the church in our area, and very highly regarded. He's personal friends with several general authorities. I've had nothing but great respect for both him and my mom, in all my upbringing. My other 2 siblings are great! My dad is a successful business owner. And me, I'm 27, I enjoy life and have kept my nose clean all these years. I've been the "go to guy" among friends in getting help and guidance with life and the trials it has to offer. I've had friends that have done EVERY wicked thing you could imagine. I've had missionary companions who recovered from crazy lifestyles. I have chose to live a life of learning from others mistakes. I know more about the dark side of this world than I care to know. Back to my brother. Growing up, he was always the shy kid. Didn't have a lot of friends, didn't EVER go out and do things. He has always been a "stay in my room and do nothing" kind of kid. I can remember him being like this as young as 5 years old, to his current age now. He never seemed normal. He's always seemed like something was wrong inside. But 2 years ago, I noticed that a darkness was coming over him. That something was not right. I grew up around enough bad stuff to know he was having sex and doing drugs. He was coming home late at night, had hickies on neck, seemed stoned, and all the other symptoms that he was living a darker life. So at this time (2 years ago) I would bring these concerns to my parents the instant I saw signs that stuff was going on, and they didn't believe me. These are not disconnected people. My parents are in their early 50's and I feel have a very strong grasp of their surroundings. But in regards to my brother. It's like they have blinders on. For example, I saw a hickey on his neck and showed them, and they said "it's not a hickey, we already saw it and he said it's a rash", haha, yeah right! The very next saturday morning, another "rash" appeared on the other side of his neck. Which at that point, he admitted what it was. I'm gonna save us all a bunch of time and just say, I saw many things leading me to believe he was getting in deep with drugs. From failing all his classes, to looked dazed and confused on a regular basis. So many signs. So after watching this for a year straight (again this was 2 years ago), I got sick and tired of my parents brushing all my concerns aside. It was like they thought I was making it up. So 1 year ago I said enough is enough. I've seen too many people in my past get screwed up from this lifestyle (of drugs) to NEVER return. I hacked is cel phone, I hacked his email, I hacked his facebook account. I set GPS trackers in his phone, and had friends follow him at night. Only to find in just a matter of days, that he was doing drugs, having sex, partying, etc. One text talked about a heroine deal he was doing. I took all the information I gathered to my parents and they finally believed me. They pulled him aside and confronted him. He lied about everything. My mom said, "Ok, I'll be back, I'm going to the store to get a drug test". After she left, he confessed everything to my dad. The next night the whole family sat down (as my other siblings new the situation), and we all bore testimony to him of the things we had seen with people doing drugs, and how we don't want to see him take that same destructive path. I honestly feel like it was a great talk, a lot was said. But, THERE WAS NO FOLLOW UP. Days after, he retained his cel phone, his video games, and his truck. He hasn't gone back to school, he doesn't work, and he's hanging out with some very questionable people again. He's coming in late at night 2-4 a.m. on average. Again, he has high anxiety and high depression (which the past couple years he has been taking medication for, with no success). Mix that with the substances I suspect he is back on, and it's not a good combination. So last week, I guess he said to my mom "I want some guns". She obviously said no. And he said something along the lines of, "It's ok, dad has them around the house" (which my parents smartly hid later that day). After this weird conversation, my sister went on his computer and saw some of his recent searches were suicide related searches, and searches on different killings. I came over to the house right in the middle of an argument of my sister saying something needs to be done about all this, with my mom downplaying my sisters claims. I told my sister, "I don't know what you read, or what he said in his conversation with mom about the guns, but if you feel he is seriously a threat to himself or others, CALL THE COPS". My sister just said, "there's no point, mom and dad will just bail him out of jail". So here I am today. I have had my eye on this kid my whole life. I exerted all my energies a year ago to prove something was going on, to raise awareness to his situation, to get him help, and NOTHING HAPPENED. I feel helpless at this point. A year ago, weeks before he was caught, my dad (the spiritual guy, former bishop, etc), would say, "he's fine, I have father son interviews with him all the time, and I think I would know if he's doing the things you say he's doing". Well, my dad was wrong. I say things to them now (in just the past couple weeks), that I feel things aren't right (same feelings I had back then, mixed with some small clues I've seen lately), and they are brushing me off again!!! How do I get my parents to wake up!!! My brother needs help, and until they put the hammer down and set rules for him, and stop handing him all the money he needs, he'll never get past all this! How do I wake them up!!! I've seen too many people get so far into this lifestyle of drugs and addiction, that they have never returned. I want to save my brother before it's too late! I really am looking for all advice. Everyone. Whatever you have to offer. Even if it's just an experience of someone you know, and what helped them. But mainly my parents, what can I do to help them see that actions need to be taken now. Whoever has read all this, and especially whoever responds... I really appreciate you taking the time! Thanks everyone!