• Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

bneders's Achievements


Newbie (1/4)



  1. I have no desire to end my marriage. I have no desire to hold this against her either. I have been following most of the advice from above since this started. I have seen my bishop many times and am half way through the Book of Mormon by now. Not to mention the stack of self help books on my desk. There is a lot of good advice and I am very thankful. She moved out two weeks ago so it's hard to bring her much service or do family prayer. We where doing family prayer when she was here but she said it was awkward and find ways not to be around for it. As far as I know thee wasn't any sexual sins. To my knowledge it is emotional and everything that comes with it. The hardest part is now I have the physical proof and she can't lie about it she still doesn't want to take the steps to mend it. It so hard now to keep putting myself out there. The constant lying and she demonizes me to anyone that will listen to her story. My counselor told me that our chances are slime to none. So has she. She lives 45 minutes away now and has all the papers ready. I called the other man the first time I found out and told him to get lost in the most professional way possible. I guess I have lost hope after beating my head against the wall for so long thing it was all about me and reaching three weeks ago and find out it was a a real affair. Thanks again for the advice. I'm doing all of this on my phone so it makes it hard to type and read back to clarify.
  2. This is my first time posting on a forum. Please excuse my illiteracy and grammar. I need advice. I have been married 7 years. My marriage has never been great. We fight all the time and have been very selfish. However i have always loved my wife. I believe she has finally had enough. She told me 3 months ago she was done. Sometimes i feel she has every right to be. I have spent the last three months trying to fix everything about me that she was not happy about. I have apologized about the mean things i have done. She constantly tells me that there is no point in talking about it. About a month into her decision i found inappropriate texts to a man that she is working with. I was so distraught that i immediately forgave her. She promised that was all there was and tried to convince me it was not what i saw. Her apology was that she didn't think it was wrong because she told me we where done. for the next to months she slowly manipulated me to the point that i didn't even believe what i had seen. This last conference Sunday i stole her phone. I found that the relationship was still going on. It rocked my world. She tells me again that she is ending it but they are still friends on facebook. She says I shouldn't have to know the details i should just trust her. She tells me I am being controling for telling her that i have to have full knowledge to be able to completely move on. She wont work on the issue and anytime we talk all she wants to do is remind me about how bad of a husband i was. We have a son and im terrified for him. I was raised by my grandperents because my parents split and neither wanted or could afford us. I have made up my mind that i wont be the one to end the marriage. This is a covenant marriage and that goes against what i believe. I don't know what to do. I am a mess. She expects me to be nice and talk to her. When she wants but it will never be about our feelings and she will never let me know hers. She is a closed book and very unforgiving. Ive been going to a counselor. This Saturday will be my 6th visit. I just need some outside perspective.