lovelylaura38

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  1. Timeline was my dad died when I was 23, I didn't meet my husband until I was 32. My father died 1 year before my "future" husband's car accident. So my husband had contact with my father while he was in his coma, 10 years before we even met.
  2. Well my husband had a major car accident and pretty much has no frontal lobes which controls the impulsiveness, poor judgement, memory. We go to counseling, but it only works for a bit until he forgets or reverts back. He looks normal, acts normal in public etc...but He has racked up over 50,000 in credit card charges on the internet which is tough because he is unemployed and we have a 1 year old, violent outbursts and hurtful comments, increased sexual libido which has led to porn and other things. It is rough because he is an adult and can open credit cards without my knowledge. I am afraid to go to the bishop because some in the past just have looked at the sin and not the fact that because of his injury he won't be judged entirely for those things. It is just hard because I grew up knowing those things are wrong and even though he cannot control much of it it still hurts. We have been through the temple and so I believe in forever and that his limitations now will not be an issue later on. Many people are so quick to jump to divorce, but there are reasons why we were brought together and a reason why I stay. My father suffered from a brain tumor for 12 years when I was 12 and he died when I was 23. My father died 1 year before my husband's car accident. My husband and I did not meet until 10 years later, yet when he saw a picture of my dad in a photo album when we were dating he said I know that man ( picture was pre brain tumor) and it was when I was in a coma for three months he was there. The spirit was so strong I knew it was true and so did my Mom. Was I being prepared through my dad's brain injury to be the eternal companion to someone with a TBI ? That is what makes it hard, I love him dearly, but some days it is too much. He is a husband some days and a child the next, or even within minutes. I pray and pray and the answer is the same which is confusing, the answer is You have done enough and done all you can and taken him so far, BUT remember these are earthly trials and it will not always be like this. My dad is a constant presence when I am weak, discouraged and just break down. I guess it is hard because you try to explain to people who haven't dealt with it but all you want is some comfort. I don't want him to be judged either by my friends or family. My mother is amazing and our biggest advocate. He has made poor choices in the past before we met that still are haunting us. So there it is. I don't fear for our safety but I also don't want our daughter to grow up seeing how cruel some of his comments and outbursts are. Children don't always understand that Daddy didn't mean what he said, but we haven't gotten there yet because she is only 1. So there it is. Any advice?
  3. Anyone else struggle with a spouse who says and does things that go against LDS values but know they can't control it?