Jane_Doe

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  1. Love
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from lavendercrandberry in I am a widower planning on marrying again in the temple but my kids aren't accepting of it. Please give me some advice   
    Ok, we got to back up way up here--
    First @LewisC, your children are still mourning the loss of their mother -- which is a completely different feeling that you mourning the loss of your wife.  Be there for them.  Build that relationship.  Visibly honor their mother, and their mourning.   You got to be there for them.  Listen to each one individually.  Don't ever try to forcefully speed up any one of their grieving process and working through things.   This comes first and foremost.
    Next, there is this idea of each of them welcoming another adult woman into thier temporal lives (not even talking about sealing yet).  This woman will never ever be their mother.  But the idea of you marrying her is... obviously unsettling.  Yes, you can and have found another woman you love.  But they will never have another mother.  So this obviously brings all of those feelings of mourning to the surface -- feelings that a mature adult would obviously struggle to work through, let alone a kid whom loss his mom at age 6.  This needs to be taken slow and respectfully.  
     
    Loss of a parent is a gut wrenching trauma, especially at a young age.  No rational conversation is going to make that feeling go away.  
  2. Like
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from NeuroTypical in Questions about LDS rules   
    You actively pursue getting your heart in line with His and having His will be done.  Not passively "I'll do it when I feel like", but actively getting on your knees and learning to accept & love Him and His will.  
    Learning to accept His will can be... hard- there's no getting around that.  My personal commandment struggle is .... I suffer from Prodigal's-Son's-Good-Brother syndrome.   But that human weakness doesn't mean we shouldn't still strive to follow Him.  
  3. Like
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from JohnsonJones in Genesis   
    When non-members ask me "how can you believe in the Book of Mormon when we lack literal evidence of it being true from scientists?"
    My response is to laugh and say "If I was a person whom required scripture to be super-literal-true-with-21st-century-scientific-take-on-things, then I would throw all Abrahamic faiths out the airlock based on Genesis alone.  There is so much of it that is blatantly shown to be false by modern science -- *if* your judgement of Truth is based on 21st century scientific interpretation.  For example: the world was not created in exactly 8,640 minutes (6 days).  Frankly, the people of ancient Israel were not counting minutes with this story-- counting minutes isn't the point!   Rather, the creation story is about God creating the Earth conveyed symbolically & His power.    I 100% believe the Creation story it is true, but in that symbolic interpretation that ancient people wrote/told it in, not 21st century minute-counting." 
    And I could go on with other examples.  I don't believe people literally lived to 900+ years old.  Literally an entire global flood.  Etc.
    Other parts of scripture I very strongly believe are literally true- such as Christ literally raising from the dead.
      Others I don't know the blend literal versus symbolism, such as the Garden of Eden.  Frankly, I don't really find that exact blend to matter on Eden or most other parts of scripture.  
     
     
    Aside: speaking as somebody whom spent many years studying evolution and all-- science tells us how things occur.  Faith tells us why.  My job studying evolution and the natural workings of the world was me getting paid to be amazed at His craftsmanship.  Understanding just the tiniest fraction of it and marveling.  
  4. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Ironhold in The Chosen - A Review   
    As someone who is himself on the spectrum?
    It would come down to how high-functioning he was and his ability to think in a looser fashion. 
  5. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to NeuroTypical in American Academy of Pediatrics will review treatment guidelines for transgender minors   
    Back in 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued it's first policy statement, it urged clinicians use a nonjudgmental approach where the clinician supported the child's professed gender identity.  Youth should, the policy recommended, have "access to comprehensive gender-affirming and developmentally appropriate health care".    
    Now, according to the Wall Street Journal, they're going to conduct a systematic evidence review and might amend it's policy based on the results.
    When systematic evidence reviews were conducted in the U.K., Sweden, Finland, Norway, and France, the result in all those countries was to urge more caution with medical interventions, noting there simply wasn't enough evidence to support the notion that benefits outweigh the risks.  The US became an outlier with it's policy to "provide medical, even surgical, support to whatever the minor says about themselves".
    I'm cautiously optimistic that a systematic review of available evidence will result in better, more soundly evidence-based, guidelines.  
    And as I wander around the internet, I'm offering to bet ten bucks that they end up revising their policies in a "use more caution before supporting medically or surgically" direction.   Because helping a 16 yr old girl chop off her own breasts, without any preconditions like psychotherapy or an awful lot of diagnostic rigor, just because she feels like a boy, is one of the most idiotic things the human race has ever run with since they awarded the Nobel Peace prize to the guy who invented the frontal lobotomy. 
     
  6. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Carborendum in American Academy of Pediatrics will review treatment guidelines for transgender minors   
    It would be wonderful to be so optimistic.  But the pattern in the past several years has been that every time some European country discovers "Hey, maybe we went too far with this,"  the US keeps plowing ahead and ignoring other countries' findings.  When has the US (government or governing medical bodies) ever done anything different?
  7. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to askandanswer in Am I too weird here? Shoelaces in Primary.   
    We all need to have some sort of standards and its up to each of us to decide what our standards are and if or when we will make exceptions. 
  8. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Still_Small_Voice in Church Growth   
    No.  There are more members of Christ's restored church outside of the United States now.  The bulk of our convert baptisms will come from the more humble nations in the world I believe.
    I imagine too that we will not see large amounts of converts inside America anymore for a while.  We are a wicked and/or idol worshipping nation with the majority that live here in my opinion.  Law of chastitiy standards are almost completely abandoned by most of this nation sadly and we are seeing the fruits of it.  Hopefully there will be a great spiritual awakening in the future.
  9. Like
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from mikbone in Pattern of committment   
    I don’t do the commitment pattern unless it is at work with a troublesome person I’m managing (where I am essentially ordering you to do it because I’m the boss and you give me a lot of guff).  Other than that it feels manipulative. 
  10. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Just_A_Guy in Sealed to a person who didn’t adopt me   
    I agree with @zil2.  The requirement for a legal adoption prior to performing the sealing ordinance is a modern Church administrative policy, but that doesn't nullify the ordinance itself. 
    But there's something more important at play here.  God only honors the sealing ordinance (or any other priesthood ordinance) if, in addition to the proper formalities being observed by the proper authority, the Holy Spirit of Promise gives its ratifying seal of approval (D&C 132:7); which is conditional upon the parties' worthiness and their ongoing living in harmony with the covenants that pertain to the ordinance.  
    Do you think the Holy Spirit ratified your sealing to your mother's husband?
    I don't know anyone in your family, but based on what you say here . . . I'd be inclined to answer "no".  
  11. Like
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from zil2 in Emmett Xavier Japheth Theodoran   
    Howdy!  Sorry I’m a bit late to the party, it’s been a crazy weekend. 
     
    @zil2 already provided you the formal missionary link. I’m not a formal missionary, but would be thrilled to answer any questions here or via DM/email.  Whatever you’d like!
  12. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to diamondheart90 in It Has Been Awhile   
    Well hello there! I'm Ashley!
     
    As the title shows, it has been awhile since I have been on this site.  I joined back in 2014 and posted only 1 thread.  
     
    That was almost 9 years ago! However, I am coming back and how time has changed!  
    When I first created my account, I had just moved to Pennsylvania from Illinois.  Gotten married!  Started a new job 1 month after I had created my account.
     
    It is really amazing how much things can change in 9 years!
    Last year, my husband and I moved to Western Kentucky where we now live nearby his mother!
    I am also an hour and a half from my family in Southern Illinois.
    I started a new job after working for 8 years for Amazon!
     
    But probably the best news of all............
     
    After 10 years of investigating the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints........
    ..............My husband and I were formally baptized and confirmed into the Church on Sunday, February 5, 2023!!!
     
  13. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Jamie123 in Mary's Room   
    I've been thinking a lot about "Mary's Room". In case you don't know, this was a thought experiment proposed by Australian philosopher Frank Jackson. There is a super-intelligent woman (Mary) who has spent her whole life inside a room where everything (including her own body) is in black and white. She receives information from the outside via a monochrome TV monitor. She learns all about colour, and how it is associated with light wavelengths, and how the eye processes this information, and how people have sensations of "red" and "green" and "blue". She knows and understands all the physical information down to the last detail.
    One day Mary comes out of her room, and really experiences colour. She sees red and blue and green for the first time. The question Jackson posed is, does she actually gain any new information? (Bearing in mind that she already knew what colour was physically all about.) The obvious answer is that "yes, of course she does, she now knows what it is really like to experience the things called "colours" which she previously only knew as mere words". But if this is the case then there must be more to information than just data about the mere physical.
    Is it the same with us and God? You could know the Bible inside out, and be able to explain all the different theologies, have opinions about them, understand how you think salvation works, etc, and yet still be like Mary stuck in her room. You could know all "about" God, but still not actually know God.
    Only when you when you go outside the room...really reach out for God...not merely for information "about" God...can salvation, grace, God's love, the fellowship of the Spirit become really part of us. It is a very uncomfortable thing, but one which is required of all of us sooner or later.
  14. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to mirkwood in Spoiled by food storage?   
    Anyone who has truly put up food storage has sacrificed purchasing something else in order to have (work towards) a year supply.
  15. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to mirkwood in Respect for Marriage Act   
    I have lived both in and out of Utah.  You are correct in the hostility levels (in my experience) have been at vastly higher levels here in Utah.
  16. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to MrShorty in Overhaul of FSY   
    In many ways, I think this is the whole thing that people are wondering about -- has prophetic advice changed?
    I'm old enough to recall a seminary lesson talking about the prophetic advice to avoid interracial marriages. The principle behind the counsel was that interracial marriages allegedly had a higher incidence of divorce, so the principle given was to choose a spouse that you were more confident of having a long and successful marriage with. Forty years later, it seems pretty clear to me that no one (not even current prophets) are counseling against interracial marriages, but the underlying principle is still alive and well and very wise -- when dating and courtship turn towards seriously seeking a spouse, seek someone to whom you are comfortable making a lifelong commitment with, and then do what you need to do to nourish that relationship so it will last.
    Movies and media can also be a good example. As you say, ratings are inconsistent across the world and, sometimes, even inconsistent within the same rating body. Rather than focus on a specific rating, it is better to look at the underlying principles about media choices as we make decisions about what entertainment we consume. As your anecdote shows, some will come to different conclusions about what media is appropriate at what isn't based on how we each apply the underlying principles.
    So, I still see a lot of questions around about how prophetic advice might be changing with this new principles based approach. As I said, if we don't think prophetic advice has changed, then our challenge as parents as leaders is understanding the principles and being able to teach those principles. As @JohnsonJones says, it might be difficult to teach the principles to our youth without specific examples and anecdotes and such to help them understand.
  17. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to MrShorty in Overhaul of FSY   
    @JohnsonJones I've seen the same kinds of questions around this. Are the old standards still in place or not?
    In general, I like the idea of a principles based approach, so I would say that, if we think the old standards are still in place (like no tattoos or limits on piercings or dating age or whatever it is), then we need to find and understand the principles behind the standards that would convince our youth to agree to live by those standards.
    Dating age, for example. Growing up in the '80s, when we would talk about the principle behind waiting until you are 16 to date, it was mostly based on a fear of sex. The principle I was taught was that those who started dating younger started having sex earlier. I think the principle underlying that principle (and the one I would focus on now, if I were in the position to teach youth) is that it is a broader question of maturity. Dating relationships require a certain level of maturity, certain relationship and social skills. Under the new FSY, rather than focusing on a calendar age, I would want to focus on those skills and markers of maturity that I think are important in navigating dating relationships. Another thing that seems important is that dating seems to have a new and different meaning to the current generation than it did back in the '80s and '90s, so there is probably value in seeking to understand how the youth we are talking with understand the idea of dating (versus hanging out or other co-ed social activities they might engage in).
    As for tattoos and piercings. Growing up in the '80s, the meanings I attributed to tattoos and piercings and wild hair colors/styles and other crazy fashion ideas of the idea was that they were markers of rebellion and disobedience. Beards and long hair (on men) and sandals (again on men) were markers of the "hippie" counter culture movement and associated with the wild "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" culture of the '60s and '70s. If I were to address these things under the new FSY, I would focus on these principles and meanings. Of course, bringing it into the 21st century, these fashion markers don't seem to have the same meanings for today's youth, so it would be important to understand the meanings they associate with these things. From the different meanings and principles around how we might make such choices, we can talk about decisions related to tattoos and piercings.
    I like the idea of a principled based approach to these things. I think the real challenge for us old dogs might be understanding the meanings and principles that our youth will be operating under. For those of us less comfortable with changes to these standards, how are we going to react when the youth feel differently about the underlying principles and meanings around some of their decisions?
  18. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Carborendum in David Archuleta Reveals He Is Part Of LGBTQIA+ Community   
    I was looking at it from a completely different perspective.  It isn't a matter of how good or bad the world is TODAY.  It isn't a matter of if the world is improving or worsening.
    It is that the world could fall in a major way from ANY height within a single generation if the lessons of the gospel are not carried on from parents to children.  At any moment we're only one generation away from complete collapse.
    People have been saying "the end is near" for thousands of years.  We have scriptures that quote the Lord saying,"I am nigh, even at the gates."
    I don't think this is intended to mean a chronological closeness to some pre-set date.  I think it is a warning that if we do not continue teaching and living righteous principles, it could all come crashing down at ANY time.
    From a practical sense, we're probably not going to see 99% of a single generation all falling away when 99% of the previous generation was stalwart and true.  But the warning is there to help remind us of our duty TODAY.  Teach the children the way path they should walk...
    I have my own impression of today's rising generation.  But they are my own, and not a prophecy of what is to come.  What I can say is that whatever forces are pushing us one way, I see some holdouts that are pushing the other way.  And just like the story of the soldiers in the foxhole at Normandy Beach, they don't realize just how widespread the resistance is.  We have hope.
  19. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to NeuroTypical in What would Jesus do over a potential houseguest that would potentially never leave   
    Jesus is big on agency.  And living subject to just laws.  And His turn-the-other-cheek stuff is not meant to imply we need to be doormats or enablers.
    Here in happy, rich, benevolent 1st world America, there are resources available for the chronically unhomed. There are places that folks who get kicked out of their apartment can go.  There's medical and mental health treatment available.
    Your parent can offer all this instead of opening her home.  There's a difference between "I don't have any other options" and "I don't want any of those other options".  Agency.  Stewardship.
    If your parent decides to not have the courage to say no, she can expect a long-term guest that is more like a dependent child.  Because why bother to deal with your crap and grow up, when someone is giving you a roof and 3 squares, and doesn't have the courage to put her foot down?
    It is much, much, much harder to evict someone who has established residency.  Now is not the time to be weak or embarrassed.  Now is the time to be righteous and firm. 
  20. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Carborendum in What would Jesus do over a potential houseguest that would potentially never leave   
    He threw the money-changers out of His own house.  It was because they were not using the house for the purpose which it was intended.
    If the purpose is for this relative to stay "a few days", then that is it.  More than "a few days" and they are not using the house for the purpose for which it was intended.
    Define a few days.
  21. Like
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from JohnsonJones in The younger generation and the loss of testimony   
    Couple of thoughts:
    - A child choosing to use thier agency to choose otherwise doesn’t mean the parent failed. Remember, even a third of Heavenly Father’s children choose to leave. That is thier choice. 
     
    - The best thing you can do is pray and keep the communication bridges open.  Ideally a person should be able to discuss things early, before it becomes a fully fledged soup box. 
  22. Haha
    Jane_Doe got a reaction from LDSGator in The younger generation and the loss of testimony   
    Hey hands off my chowder!!
  23. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Carborendum in Overhaul of FSY   
    Kinda going along with both of you here.
    We went over the parable of the stage coach driver getting his wheels close to the cliff.  One of my children had never heard it.  We repeated it.  Then my daughter made an interesting variation of the parable.
    The area near the cliff is not flat.  It gradually curves steeper and steeper.   We can then interpose a "fence" where it is still "flat enough" that you can easily recover back to the road.  Now that the fence is gone, it is very easy to think, "Oh, yeah!  Now we can go a bit farther and we'll still be safe."  But the parable of the rip-tide warns us that it may still not be a good idea because there are other forces besides gravity beyond the fence.
  24. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to Backroads in Overhaul of FSY   
    A definite wheat vs tares thing. Mind you, I don't want to excuse true policies under a terrible version of "spirit of the law", but it can be quite easy to do things that are good and right without being good and right. 
    Those pondering and praying won't find room for excuses.
  25. Like
    Jane_Doe reacted to laronius in Overhaul of FSY   
    Made me think of King Benjamin's comment:
    29 And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them.
    I think there are now even more ways in our day to commit sin. But I think part of "guideline" approach too is that with good being called evil and evil good we are really going to need to rely on the principles of the gospel to help guide us to make good decisions in given situations because there are so many different things to take into consideration that previous generations have not had to deal with.