My husband recently confided in me that he was sexually abused as a very young child. Having young children myself, this obviously breaks my heart. He repressed memories his whole life from the time the event happened to just recently, in the last couple of years, when something triggered his terrible memories and they resurfaced. He has had a life of ups and downs but, in general, since we've been married (7 years), we have been a normal, happy, LDS family. In telling me about these horrible events from his childhood, and in an effort to be totally honest with me, he also confided in me that he struggles with a need to seek approval and attention from women, as a result of his abuse. Because of this, he shared with me that a couple of years ago, he made a mistake and kissed another woman at a student business conference while he was still in college. It happened right after these terrible memories from his childhood resurfaced and he said it was a very low time for him. This is obviously heart wrenching for me and very difficult to hear, but I appreciated him coming clean to me. He has been seeing a (non-LDS) therapist for about two years, and I haven't seen any improvement in how he feels about himself or his life. He says that he feels that his life has been full of mistakes and disappointing people, and that there's a deep empty dark hole inside of him that only gets bigger with time. I am unsure what to do or how I am supposed to feel. I have gone through the wide range of emotions, from shock, to sadness, to grief, to sympathy, to worry, to anger, etc. I love him so much and don't want our marriage to end, but he admitted to me that he can't guarantee it won't happen again, and doesn't feel as if he can be "fixed" or happy again. His testimony has obviously taken a hit from all of this, and while mine is strong, I feel like I can't MAKE him repent, or talk to the bishop. I think it is overwhelming to him to think about opening up to someone else since there is so much to share and most of it is pretty heartbreaking. I honestly can't tell if I have felt comforted from all of the praying and fasting I have been doing, or just numb from all of the emotions I am going through. Does anyone have any advice for me? What my role is in all of this? I go between feeling bad for myself and the grief that he has caused me, to really feeling for him, because I know his heart and his intentions, and he truly is a wonderful husband and father. He has just struggled these last couple of years. We are active at church, but I truly believe he is just going through the emotions to keep me happy and keep our family together. I feel like I need help. I don't know where to turn. Thanks in advance for any help or advice you can give me. Has anyone else been through anything similar? Is there hope for us?
