fedwrongwolf

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  1. I'm kind of beginning to think that I might have sunk into depression at some point over the last couple years. It is a work schedule.
  2. The thing is, i have a hard time finding other things i want to do. there are other things, but i lack the the motivation to do those things as well. in addition, my schedule keeps me up late at night. this prevents me from leaving my room or making to much noise so that i don't wake up my family. I also don't need media every time. My imagination can get away from me at times
  3. So, I've grown up in the church and have a strong testimony. I am 19 and have had plans of going on a mission for years, but for years I have been addicted to masturbation and porn. I have tried many times over the years and my record for stopping was about two months and that was around 6 years ago. my second best was one month and i did that last year. Most of the time it is a week to a week and a half of not viewing it followed by a few days to a week of viewing it. I have met with my Bishop many times and my stake president a few times, but there is only so much they can help with. We have decided that I could receive my patriarchal blessing after two weeks, the Melchizedek priesthood after a month, and submit mission papers after 6 months. Over the years my mind began to easily put all other thoughts aside and think about whatever thought is at the forefront. So, each time I'm trying to stop I easily put aside all other thoughts and begin down the wrong path again. I often am able to control myself from this one day, but the following day I just seem to give up the fight. I have realized that with most things in my life i just lack the proper motivation and perseverance. I always know what needs to be done but just can't bring myself to do it. I am just not sure how to go about this anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.