gatorjjp

I know this if from a few pages back.... but i linger and browse here because of my current place in life. I cam to know Christ in a time and place of utter despair and contrition. A time when i believed it would be better for me to be dead than to continue living the life i had until that time. I thought there was no hope and that i was doomed, by genes, by fate, or by whatever controlled the universe to live a life of destruction and selfishness. Somehow i knew that it was wrong and that i wanted to change but i couldn't/ did not have the ability to do that on my own. Thank God for Jesus. When i had the revelation that there was option for a second chance (later third fourth etc.) my heart melted and i fell in love. How could such a perfect God love such a horrible creature as me? And so my faith, like probably many others began. Today, religion has defiled that faith. It was years of different doctrines that slowly whittled away that pure faith and love of our Savior. mine of Him. because of my own inability to walk out perfectly or understand completely one churches set of doctrines i thought maybe each might be the wrong church and so i would try another. doctrines of demons, baptism, etc etc all confused and finally led me to pull away from all churches. i spent seven years not seeking God at all, with financial, business and family success until it all finally fell out from under me. again i was at a place of utter despair and with no hope in sight. My van broke down while traveling across country in a city far away from my wife where i happened to have family that are LDS. i began to attend church with them and i was hungry for change. i heard Abba speak there and i felt God divinely intervened in my life. my wife later joined me, received lessons from the missionaries and was baptized. ( i was baptized at fourteen into the church) I had problems though with not hearing the Word of God from the bible. To me, the LDS scriptures were just another book. I heard a lot of confessing Joseph Smith. I heard a lot of confessing that it was the only true church and read pieces of the LDS scriptures where Joseph Smith claims to be better than the Christ that changed my life. I brought this up to those that made themselves available to me and they explained it as Joseph Smith being an imperfect man as myself. I cam home from work one day and my wife was crying in the shower. I asked what was wrong and she hesitantly explained to me that she doesn't hear from the Holy Spirit anymore and that she is not sure she is in the right church. So now we attend a christian church right across the street. Missionaries still come over and spend time with us and we love them to death. But the decision that is placed before us to decide that there is only one place where people meet and fellowship that is right is a heavy burden. i am open to Gods revelation on this but find it hard to read the book of Mormon without feeling like i should be spending that time in the Bible. Why cant Christ be the church? Why does the world want to limit Gods ability to love and sanctify all his creation. i feel like the LDS church feels sad for us. But according to how i understand their doctrine, if they are right i will still be saved from eternal damnation just wont be in Gods presence. Dont understand how those two are possible at the same time but.....you know. anyways i probably spun this way off of OP. sorry. and if if this needs to be placed elsewhere, by all means. Desperate To experience God's truth.