Southern_Bell

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Everything posted by Southern_Bell

  1. To me, adulting means regularly doing the things I don't want to do because they have to be done, and it is my job to do it. And with that in mind, I have to go clean my toilets.
  2. ...can be so nice! To put this in context, I will relate the following true story: I have a really junkie car with a broken gas gauge. My sweet toddler managed to reset the trip odometer, so I thought I had more gas than I actually did. This morning, I ran out of gas. I was on a reasonably busy road, still a mile or so from the gas station, and my toddler was with me. Not exactly the way I planned to start my day! As I waved to the cars behind me to go around, I started to pray and formulate my plan for the best way to handle my predicament, two men happened by in their truck (presumably on their way to work, as it was a work truck) and helped me get my car off the road. One of them then stayed with us while the other went to the nearest gas station, bought a gas can, filled it up, and drove back. When I offered to repay them, they wouldn't take any money. With that in mind, I thought, "Let's restore our faith in humanity and in miracles today." In what way has the Lord answered your prayers before you have even finished them? How has he used others (including random strangers) to bless your life? Or have you been the one on the giving end?
  3. Also, I have found that with v-neck tops and some scoop neck dresses, undershirts are a must. It's another layer that isn't fun in the hot, humid southern climate, but I feel more comfortable about what I'm wearing, how I look, and I have gotten used to the effect it has on my body temperature. I haven't felt the need to trash my wardrobe for it.
  4. I second what the others have said so far. Finding garments that fit right can be tricky. Ask to try some on at the distribution center next time you go. Don't worry about what the size says, just whether or not it fits (the sizes are strange to me, and I've been endowed for a long time). Also, even when it fits right, it can take a while to get used to the additional fabric. This is normal. You will want to experiment with different styles, fabrics, petite/tall, whatever. Some of the other posters have said that the sizes follow your bra size. Given that, I can understand why that would make the tops fit strangely. I, for one, measure 36 inches around for the bra, but I prefer a MUCH tighter fit for my tops and wear a 24 (I think--I haven't bought any for a long time) garment top. Like I said, don't worry about the number, just what you feel fits well. The good news is that garments are fairly indestructible, so once you find what works for you, they will last for pretty much forever. I got all of mine just before I left on my mission 14 years ago, and I'm just getting to the point where I need to start replacing them. When I got my endowment, there were some clothes that I thought I would be able to wear with garments that ended up not working anymore. I remember feeling a little bummed about giving up my favorite skirt, but it wasn't the only thing I had to wear, so it was okay. The point is, you may have to adjust your wardrobe, even when what you wore before is reasonably modest. Most importantly of all, don't stress about it. Look at this as an opportunity to experiment. Garments may not make you feel beautiful, but you will be able to be comfortable wearing them. It just may take some time and some effort to find the right fabric/fit, etc.
  5. No, he lets me know about that. I think it's more along the lines of what LDM said, that if I guess it right, then he knows that it comes from the heart. Or maybe it's like what @yjacket said, maybe he himself doesn't really know.
  6. @anatess2, it seems to me that Mr. Anatess is the type that really appreciates receiving well-thought out gifts. And you are right that is a different love language than "I love it when you fill my car up with gas for me." (Which I try to do when I drive it because he ACTUALLY told me that he likes it when I do that)
  7. The video on that fidget cube is hilarious! Of course, now I want one...
  8. Thanks, LDM, I've been trying to figure out why he literally refuses to tell me. This makes sense!
  9. I haven't read the book, but I have spent a lot of time on the website. That's one of the ways that I figured out that Southern_Beau's love language is service. He just never wants to tell me what service he wants, lol.
  10. Southern_Beau is the type of guy that feels loved when you do nice things for him, but he also wants me to guess what he likes and surprise him. In other words, if I ask him what I can do to show him some extra love, he will just tell me to figure it out. The thing is, I'm not nearly creative enough most of the time to come up with much, and I'm definitely not powerful enough (yet) to read his mind. I would love some ideas on how to serve him and show him love better in this way. What have you done for your spouse to show a little extra love that they have really appreciated? On the other side of the matter, what has your spouse done in that regard?
  11. "Why aren't you married yet?" Because I'm single. "Why are you still single?" Because I'm not married.
  12. I can seriously sympathize with your situation. After all, it can be very hard to make friends. Heck, I am ridiculously shy, so even getting to know people is a real stretch. But being lonely is pretty terrible, and I don't do well with that, either. My advice: don't wait for anyone to make the first move. They might be terrified to admit that they need a friend as badly as you do. I know I've always been embarrassed to say so, and you can't force someone to be your friend anyway. That doesn't mean that you give up, though. There is a Primary song that says, "If you want to have a friend, you must be a friend, too." So, be friendly. Sit somewhere different each time you go to church. Introduce yourself, and find out about the person next to you. Tell the BP that you need a calling where you will have the opportunity to get to know people in your branch. Even if you don't get a calling right away, serve them. You love people because you serve them, and you serve them because you love them. Go to activities. Go to as many activities as you can. Does the branch do small groups for basketball for example? Go do it, even if you're terrible at it. It will give you more opportunities to socialize. After all, I find that it can be challenging to have any sort of real conversation with someone at church that doesn't have to do with church or the lesson. There just isn't really enough time between lessons and wrangling children for me to make that happen.
  13. First off, your shouldn't join the Church for a guy. You should join the Church because you have a testimony that it is true. Second, it is hard to understand why relationships sometimes end the way that they do, or why we might feel the Spirit is telling us something when someone else is seemingly having a completely different prompting. Without knowing the full story, it is hard to understand what exactly occurred in the relationship that made it unbearable for him. And, yes, it is very possible that you have misunderstood what the Spirit has been trying to tell you. For most of us, recognizing, understanding, and obeying the promptings of the Holy Ghost is a lifelong pursuit.
  14. We are in a newly formed ward, and most of the callings haven't been assigned yet. I have preferences when it comes to where I would like to serve. Would it be weird to me to let the bishop know where I would like to serve? Would it be weird to volunteer for a calling?
  15. From what you have said, it seems to me that you are an intellectual person. It is good to learn about the church. The way to figure out if your interest is purely intellectual or if it is spiritual is to pay attention to how you feel when you go to church, when you earnestly pray, etc. It's the difference between knowing about something (knowing something in your head) and knowing something (in your heart). At any rate, welcome!
  16. It is possible that JS had children with other wives, but it is not well documented. There is enough evidence to support his having been sealed to about 30 women. He didn't necessarily consummate all of these, but there is evidence that some of them were. However, since he was married to these women, there wasn't fornication or adultery. As others have already said, 14 was old enough to marry in those days. By that age, you were already considered an adult. So there really shouldn't be a problem there, either. When sealings are performed in our day, they are for binding families, husband to wife, father to son, etc. Source: https://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Smith-Rough-Stone-Rolling/dp/1400077532/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1468465602&sr=1-1&keywords=rough+stone+rolling People tend to forget the historical context when they find something in history that would be shocking by today's standards. Critics love to exploit this tendency and get really hung up on this type of thing.
  17. Yes, but applying the Atonement is the only way to regain and retain peace in this life. And it is definitely not easy. It takes work, consistent daily (if not more often) effort. Part of what we are to learn in this life is how to effectively apply His Atonement, to have a complete and lasting change of heart, to always remember Him. When we do that, it is much more difficult to sin.
  18. And don't forget about the lion's den. That was anything if not messy.
  19. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned this yet, but Christ's Atonement is big enough to cover all of this, regardless of the outcome. You need to rely on the Atonement to heal the hurt that his actions have caused you. He needs the Atonement to stop, to change, to know that God loves him. If either of you are serious about getting the help you need for this situation, start with Christ.
  20. Just a quick correction: Jane, blessings can only be given by someone who holds the Melchizedek priesthood, holding the office of elder or higher. A priest can baptize, but he cannot give the Holy Ghost or blessings.
  21. Short answer, Sunday, is no. The standard BoM is the "Women and Children's version". It was written exactly as it is for all of us. You should also know that the family edition of the BoM that Jane mentions is not really abridged per se. The actual scriptural verses are exactly the same. There are more pictures, the chapters are broken down into shorter sections, and there are more helps designed to facilitate discussion, but I wouldn't called it the Reader's Digest version by any means. Source: I have one on my kitchen table. On another note, I kind of think about the scriptures in the same way that I think about parables. You will get the lessons out of them that you are ready for. Also, the scriptures record violence not just in the BoM, but also in the Old & New Testaments. These are history books, and they would do a serious injustice to that history if they just glossed over what happened to the people and why.
  22. @askandanswer You should never make someone's lack of interest in the Church the reason to terminate a relationship. IMHO, the OP has plenty of good reasons without even bringing the Church into it. My thoughts to the OP: Tell her that it upsets you that she doesn't support you in your beliefs/standards. Tell her that there have been many instances where you have felt used by her. Then let her know that you refuse to hang out with her anymore. Period.
  23. I think that you should tell her that this is important to you, but that you will submit to her in this instance. That doesn't mean that it will stop being important to you, just that you won't try to force the issue or push her on it. It should be completely up to her, but when she is ready, she should let you know. It is okay to check in with her on her feelings on this from time to time, but other than that, you shouldn't bring it up. Meanwhile, pray for her. Pray for her heart to be softened on this. Do everything within your power to live up to those covenants, even though it hasn't happened yet. I know it is frustrating to have to wait on your spouse when there is something that you want so very badly that really is a righteous desire. Give it time and prayer. Also, it helps if you choose not to be upset or angry about it.