zoom

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  1. Kirkko, I know exactly how you feel... in fact your post is the reason I just created an account here. I've suffered from the same thing, and unless you've actually suffered from it, you have no idea how miserable and tormenting it is. People will tell you "Just get over it", or try to explain why you shouldn't be bothered by these experiences, but it doesn't help. You agree with what they are saying, but i'ts like the part of your brain that regulates emotion just went haywire and is no longer listening to you. The rational side of you knows that these past events are irrelevant and that the feelings are unjustified, but you still feel the pain and torment as though these past events took place yesterday. It makes no sense, it's irrational, you know this... but that doesn't help the emotional torment. I'ts like getting the sensation that your hand is on fire. You look down as see that it is fine. Everyone around you is telling you it's fine. You know there is no fire, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Maybe what you're going through isn't as severe as this... but Classylady got it right. You're suffering from Retroactive Jealousy. You need to go see a therapist... specifically one who works with EMDR. They are usually therapists who specialize in Trauma... but look into EMDR therapy. I've suffered from this, along with the trauma of finding out my wife fooled around behind my back when we were dating, for years. YEARS! I've finally discovered EMDR and went to my first session a week or so ago. I've confident it will help me, and will post back here after a few weeks. Don't wait for it to just go away. It wont. Don't let it fester inside of you because it will just get worse. This whole problem has caused me an enormous amount of anguish and was the primary instigator in me leaving the church, developing an immense amount of animosity and distrust for God and ultimately becoming atheist. To relive the most tormenting thoughts as though they are taking place in the present and having absolutely zero control of them and no where to run is the epitome of hell, and no one deserves to be put through that. Find an EMDR therapist before these thought patterns become habit.