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  1. ashtonbailey1

    Asking Boyfriend to Wait for Me?

    I do want him to go, otherwise I wouldn't be worrying about it. But I don't want him to go for me, which is why I feel like I can only do so much. It's important to me that he goes so that it would be a better influence on him and our future relationship. I know that he would be an amazing missionary. My original post was made out of the impulsive desire that I wanted him regardless of his decision, but since then I have come to realize that out of him specifically, I want him to serve a mission. But then I think to myself now that if I came back and he still hadn't gone, that I would possibly still want him. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know that I will change while I am gone, and it scares me that I won't want him anymore.
  2. ashtonbailey1

    Asking Boyfriend to Wait for Me?

    Sorry, I got a little impatient with the internet and it submitted my post multiple times.
  3. ashtonbailey1

    Asking Boyfriend to Wait for Me?

    Thank you everyone for your advice. As it is obvious, no one knows what kind of person my boyfriend is, or what is holding him back. He is a righteous priesthood holder and has a strong testimony. He still goes to mission prep for some reason. From what we have talked about, the reason he doesn't want to go is because he doesn't have the desire. He says it's because he is worried he wouldn't be a good missionary, and that people might not like him. Which is true. Some people won't like him, some days he won't be a good missionary, but I think those are doubts that every missionary has. Including myself. And they shouldn't keep him from serving. He used to have the desire, but I think there are some things he could improve on to get that desire back. I have prayed and fasted about it continuously, and I have the impression that I shouldn't give up on trying to get him out there. He knows he needs to. I know that Heavenly Father brought us together for a reason, but to be together in righteousness. My qualities for a future husband do not include the requirement of being a returned missionary. I understand that there are circumstances, and I don't think it's fair to rule out those who have been affected by those issues (as long as they continue to live righteously). There is the possibility that they came home early, that they were not able to physically or mentally, or maybe they're even a convert. But not having the desire is not an exception for me. If he stays just because he doesn't want to go, I have no idea if he'll be able to progress spiritually. He is worthy, he is able minded, and able bodied. So I am not giving up. I know that he can change. I do understand that it is his decision, and only he can make it. No one is forcing him to. His parents are trying their best to motivate him without pushing him the wrong way. He is very unsure of what he wants in the future, so higher education is not something that is holding him back. I know that going on a mission would help him feel more secure about the future. We also have a friend who recently came home from his mission for a little bit due to a surgery, and he believes that he is here for a reason, and that is to get my boyfriend on a mission. If anyone has any advice on how to continue encouraging him, that would be much appreciated. I don't ever see many people in this situation.
  4. ashtonbailey1

    Asking Boyfriend to Wait for Me?

    Yes, I have already heard the statistics. Yes, I know that me thinking my boyfriend is "the one" is nothing new and won't change the outcome, but I just have this reoccurring feeling that he is the one I will marry. The problem is that I am going on a mission, and he has made the decision to not serve. Before he told me this, I knew that our relationship would be more solidified and a better outcome if we were both serving. Now that he is not, I worry that he will find someone else while I am gone. We are both each other's second relationship, and we have been dating for over a year. It took him two years from his last relationship to date me, so I guess I am essentially worried that someone will come into his life and I am having a hard time accepting it. He says that if we're meant to be together, we will be together in the end. But I don't want to accept a future without him. I know it is selfish and inconsiderate of me to ask him to wait for me, but if I just ask him to not get seriously involved with anyone and continue to live his life normally is that wrong? Am I being stupid? There is also the possibility of him being inspired to serve while I'm gone. I pray for that everyday, but the way things work for me, I'm afraid it won't happen. I am just lost, and any advice would help. I am not interested in hearing anything about how I shouldn't marry him if he doesn't serve a mission, because I know not going doesn't make you a bad person, just as going doesn't make me a good person.
  5. ashtonbailey1

    Job Interview

    Hello, I have an issue concerning a job interview I have coming up this week at a health care facility. I will (hopefully) be receiving my mission call next Wednesday, and I am hoping to depart in November or December. I am worried that I won't get hired once they find out that I will be leaving because it will most likely be short term, and considering that I don't know when I will be leaving, I am unsure of what to tell them. Do I tell them that I will be going on a mission soon and risk not getting hired? Or do I not mention it? I am in desperate need of the hours and it has been my dream job. I would appreciate the advice.
  6. ashtonbailey1

    Need Advice for Talking to My Bishop

    I am seeking advice from this board because I don't know what to do. I am currently facing a dilemma that I am unsure of how to approach my bishop with. My boyfriend and I are both 19, and are preparing to go on missions. A few months ago, he touched me inappropriately under my shirt. Immediately after, we stopped and talked about how wrong it was, and how much Satan had been tempting him ever since he made the decision to start his mission papers. He has not done it again since then, and we have put ourselves in better situations. Set curfew, boundaries, etc. After that, I began what I thought was the process of repentance. I have prayed, and studied more than ever. Yesterday I met with my bishop to begin the initiation of my own mission papers, and one question that came up was if I was morally clean. I answered yes, while thinking to myself, "Well, of course, I haven't done anything that would prove otherwise." When I went home, I remembered the problem that I thought I had repented for, and it has started to weigh on me. Since it is constantly on my mind now, I know that the road to repentance isn't over. I am aware that I need to tell my bishop, and it will come up in future interviews during my mission process. My main problem essentially is that I don't know how to bring it up. I'm actually quite scared. It's not a problem that I have ever had to deal with. What do I even tell him? I often hear the terms "necking" and "petting", but to be honest, I don't even know what they mean. I don't even know if what happened falls under those categories. Next Sunday I will have an interview for a temple recommend, is that an appropriate time to talk about it? I would really appreciate the guidance, as I do not have any strong church leaders in my life that I feel comfortable talking to because my parents are not members. I know part of it is my fault, considering that I allowed it to happen, and I feel awful for bringing this problem upon my boyfriend. I will feel even worse if this is something that delays his mission, because he has already spent so long preparing. Is this something that is serious enough to delay both of us? I would also love any advice on how to support him in this as well, because I feel like it has affected him the most.